new thread
Hi hairy people (including longhair wannabes),
Just a few rambling thoughts I'd like to share, especially after seeing rabbit's recent shaved head thread...
First, I'd like to express my heart-felt support and admiration for ANYone who ever attempts to grow their hair out -- regardless of whether or not they ever succeed at keeping it long. In my opinion, it is both a joy and privilege to to have long hair; but I also feel it is an innate human right to be allowed to do so (even if not permitted in some extreme societies or even in a few extremely socially oppressive countries).
Having said the above statement of support towards all who are at least sympathetic towards our cause, I'd now like to make a few specific comments re. MLHH and how I think it can best help first-time growers and other similar newbies -- as well as help them to better understand us, the long-time longhairs (and long-time "regulars" of MLHH)...
Here goes:
If you are new to growing your hair out, although I am supportive of guys doing whatever they wish with their own hair on their own head -- including buzzing it all off, if they so choose -- I'd really rather NOT see any pics of shaved heads or buzz-cuts posted here on this site. It's OK with me if someone feels they need to announce, "I shaved it all off"; but I'd really prefer not to have to see a pic of it -- I mean, come on, we ALL KNOW WHAT A BUZZ-CUT LOOKS LIKE!!! I see shaved heads and buzz-cuts everyday in the town I live in -- so do I really need to see a pic of the same ugly look here, too??
I know I'm probably sounding a bit too harshly opinionated about this -- and maybe even admit to being a bit squeamish on the topic -- BUT, this is the one & only place on the Internet (that I know of) that is special, in that it supports and encourages LONG hair... LOOOOOOONG hair!!!
When I was a kid growing up during the mid-late '50s and all through the '60s, my father gave me and my brothers NO CHOICE re. our hair. Every summer meant mandatory buzz-cuts -- and the rest of the year wasn't so fun, either, as military-short was the maximum length allowed.
So, trust me when I say: I've seen PLENTY of buzz-cuts!
Also, for all first-time growers: it is my (own personal) recommendation for you to wait and post a pic of yourself AFTER you have already gained a little bit of hair length on your own -- at least wait until you have started to enter into what is commonly called, "the awkward stage!" It makes no sense to me for someone to post a pic of themselves saying something like, "One month Update After Recent Buzz-cut"... OMG, don't you think that most of us here already have enough of an imagination to be able to NOT need a pic of that length in order to respond???
And that brings up one more thing I'd like to mention...
Please don't expect a rush of replies to an "update" thread if the pic that you are sharing with us shows no evidence of you yet having hair long enough to be at least falling into your eyes, tickling your ears, or creeping over your neck a bit yet. That stage is called, "entering the awkward stage" -- and yes, we'd all very much like to help & encourage you then! But please realize that if your bangs (AKA "fringe") has not yet even touched the top of your eyebrows, it would be very kind of you to show us a little more length achievement than that, first, and THEN post a pic of yourself asking for our help. It takes time to reply to people about this -- and I tend to assume someone is not yet seriously committed to growing it long yet if they come here only showing us pics of the same kind of short haircuts that we can see any day of the week out in the real world.
I hope my comments have not offended too many people here!
Sincerely,
Grumpy Geezer Ken in San Francisco
Mister...um...can we have our ball back?
Actually, Ken .You "voiced" some reasonable observations. However, To someone who has shaved their head or suffered buzzcuts. (such as yourself) to have even a modicum of hair on ones head is cause for celebration. True, hair that is no longer than the standard "Business' cut is not newsworthy, to us with long locks. However, all is relative, and if one wishes to celebrate their budding independent outlook and show off hair of any length, and beards as well, Then more power to them. Like you, This is just my take. However, If I am wrong, I shall take my lumps...and I promise to stay off your lawn n the future...Love ya, mean it.
Yes, you are correct, Rktect: "all is relative" is very true indeed! I need to be reminded of that -- and the fact that any newly added hair length, even if only a modest one, is reason enough for some folks to want to celebrate over it; however... I still hate to see pics of shaved heads and buzz-cuts here! I'll get over it, no worries; but there's something about posting a pic of that sort of thing that seems so counter-productive to "share" here at MLHH. It's kind of like showing a photo of a huge plate of greasy, gross-looking, piled-high food to a group of people who have succeeded at losing a lot of weight over many years, with the added headline of, "I've gone back to over-eating and not exercising, what do you guys think about my lunch for today?"
This is what I think: "Eeuuuwwww!!!!"
'Nough said! (LOL)
- Ken
While I tend to personally feel as you do...I could do without the bald-ish entry and exit photos, I understand the reasoning and desire behind posting them. MLHH is really three places in one. First, a supporting place for people exploring and attempting to grow their hair from short; second, a place for people who are established as growing, but still in the awkward stage or in lengths that are culturally uncomfortable; and finally, a refuge for people who are established in length and attitude as long hairs...the progression from acceptance to support to being an example.
For me, the awkward stage was so long ago, I tend to skip over posts involving hair shorter than shoulder. Exit posts about "I cut, [ugly bald picture], etc, bye" are sad, but whatever.
*shrug*
But I prefer to see pictures of longer rather than shorter hair.
Oddly enough, I never thought of it that way before; but yes, you are correct, there is more than one purpose, or "mission" to MLHH... I gave Rkteck a much longer & fuller answer than I'll write here; but his comments were similar to yours -- so if you wish to do more reading today (LOL), feel free to read my reply to him, below...
Thanks for your feedback, Trolleypup, it's always a pleasure hearing your thoughts!
- Ken
You make some good points Ken. I honestly find it hard to relate to having problems sticking with growing long hair that aren't due to religious prohibition which was my obstacle. I wanted long hair since I was seven so when that impediment was finally removed, I enjoyed every minute of the growing out process. It was celebratory for me. My family still in the cult hate my long hair but I couldn't care less about that.
I respect those that have to face scorn in their journeys and yet continue on. I guess we are all on different points of the longhair spectrum. Some of us, like you and I, just don't feel right withOUT long hair while others are still in the process of discovering what they want.
Longtime members here are understandably wary of newcomers that announce their intentions but then never follow through. Our enthusiasm and support naturally grow along with the newcomer's hair!
What a wonderful way to put it, Jason, and truer words could not have been spoken better or clearer than that!
The process of self-discovery, whether re. hair or anything else, of course takes both time and also some degree of exploration into "unknown territory"... I hope to be more patient and supportive of that fact in the future, because as you said, for longhairs like you & I, we knew at a young age that long hair simply felt like our eventual "destiny", so-to-speak -- but not everyone else necessarily feels that strongly or passionately about becoming a longhair.
I already gave Rktech a much fuller and more detailed reply on this topic than what I just stated, above -- so if you wish to read more, just go to my reply to him, below yours...
Thanks again for your insightful comments, Jason, always a pleasure hearing from you!!
- Ken
Ken, for the most part I agree with what you've said. Where I differ is that I don't mind seeing a starting photo if only to know what we are working with. However if one is going to cut it really short, and especially if buzz-cutting it, I really don't want to see it.
As for the documented progress photos, you're right there's little need for them before the awkward stage unless one has a particular issue they need help with. While it's fine to point us to a website that documents one's progress, we really don't need a bunch of photos of what is basically short hair. There's just not a lot of feedback we can give until it actually starts getting long.
--Dale
Dale's Facebook Page
While I'm still relatively new here, I thought that I'd add my two cents.
Pictures of people who still have relatively short hair, even before going into the awkward stage, might be annoying because their hair is still too short to be much of a problem, but I do think these people need the most encouragement.
There are a lot of people who've grown up being told that long hair on men is something that only bad people, troublemakers, drug users etc. will do. While most of us here know that's a load of crap, lots of guys continue to think that way. Overcoming those negative stereotypes pushed by people around us is one thing, but overcoming internal prejudices is something completely different.
If you've carried around these negative ideas about guys having long hair all their life, and you decide that you actually want long hair yourself, coming to terms with this desire and the negative thoughts you have about it can be incredibly difficult. Yes it's hard to overcome prejudice and negative stereotypes from those around us, but it's even harder to overcome the ones we lay on ourselves. I think that's why people post pictures of their hair not long after a buzz cut, or before it's starting to fall down past their eyes. They want long hair, but have been raised to believe that it's wrong, and are looking for encouragement and support. And for them, it's probably going to take a lot of time and a lot of encouragement before they start being comfortable with growing their hair out.
Unfortunately this also means there is a good chance that a person like this will cave in before approaching the awkward stage. This is completely understandable I think. It might take a few goes before they get any real length, but if they do cave in and get rid of their hair, a few words of encouragement for next time would go a long way.
But as for pictures after someone has caved and got rid of their hair, or worse, a buzz cut? I agree completely Ken. We don't need to see that. But I think it's okay to see occasional progress, even if it's before the awkward stage.
Terry
Thanks for reminding me about this, Terry, as this is the mental environment that i grew up in when still living in my dad's house when I was young. In fact, even after I left home at age 18 during my dad & step-mom's divorce, even though I went out into the work force in order to have my freedom from my father's anti-longhair rules, it still took me several years to build up the guts to grow my own hair really long (although I at least grew it "long-ISH" as much as I could get away with that my various jobs allowed).
The whole thing is a process, and even though I didn't have the Internet back when I was young, you are right: any positive encouragement at all might be the stepping stone a guy might need to help them overcome their own inner fears or hesitations to grow. I didn't achieve my first ponytail until my 40th birthday, for example. In hindsight, I definitely wish I had achieved that goal much earlier in life; but hey, I did the best I could at the time -- and now it all seems like a distant dream in my long long ago past that I even had short hair at ANY time in my life... go figure (LOL)!!
- Ken
Hi Mr. Grumpy!LOL
Just kidding Ken:)After reading your post you spoke my sentiments too.After all I can go outdoors and get my fill of buzzed or short haircuts on a guy any day of the week.I go to my gym four days a week and sadly the guys have the most gawd awful haircuts a man could possibly sport in my opinion.I can safely say I'm the only longhaired freak at my gym!LOL.Tis a shame as some of the guys have great bodies but spoil it with ugly buzzcuts:( So with that said I agree that this board is a great getaway from all of that.I see no value posting pics of ordinary short haircuts here which usually results in few,if any, responses.If a user here ultimately cuts his hair off a statement certainly is enough just so we know why a user may have left us.As some may know Vincent also cut his hair but he spared us the pic showing it.No need to but at least I know why he won't be around any longer until he comes to his senses and grows it all back;)LOL.So Ken, you are in good company with you opinions and thank you for being bold enough to express them.Cheers my friend.
Mark
Hi Mark,
Always a pleasure to hear from you, my friend!
I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only guy here to feel the sentiments that you so eloquently described, above -- I feel EXACTLY the same way!!!!
In any case, I won't go on & on and beat this dead horse any more than necessary (LOL); but just want to add how grateful I am that someone other than me clearly understands where I'm coming from re. this topic (that "someone" being of course, YOU!!)....
Later, 'gator!
- Ken
Hi Ken. Although I do share some of your thoughts, I have a great sympathy for those trying to start out on the long hair journey. There are so many presuures from college, family, potential employers and society in general that I feel we should be supportive of anyone who wants to try and express themselves by growing long hair. It can take a lot of courage and sometimes the pressures are just to great. I do agree that we prefer to see pictures of hair once it has grown longer, or comparison shots that show the growth. I just feel very lucky that, at this time in my "later" life, I am able to do just what I want with no pressure from anyone to conform to anything. What a great place to be!
N/T
Thanks for your input, Ian, I much appreciate your comments!
I hope I didn't come across unsympathetic by what I said in my original post here; just trying to mostly emphasize how it takes a lot of time to reply to newcomers, and that sometimes that time can feel like it might have been a waste, if the new person cuts their hair when it barely even got long at all.
I hope that helps explain my perspective a bit better. If not.... Oh, well, time for me to duck my head in anticipation of tossed tomatoes! (LOL)
- Ken
Howdy, Ken;
I see where you’re coming from, and wholeheartedly agree — there’s a noticeable percentage of guys at my school who take the “no hair below the collar” rule a little too seriously, and have like one centimeter or three of growth (ooh, how radical!). And I can only imagine what it’d be like to have an autocratic dad like that, man.
So I think that, yeah, there should be an expectation of entering the awkward stage before posting. Like, we’re gonna run into folk who post a little before that, but perhaps this should be limited to “first time posting”s and not monthly updates, y’know?
Best of luck with the twoweek program, also! (:
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