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I'm 21. I've had long hair for years, basically I started growing it after graduating from high school at 16.
Until yesterday, my hair went down to my waist. It was longer than all my friends, male or female, other than my girlfriend. My mom kept bothering me to get it trimmed, because the ends were horribly frayed and a lot of hair was falling off. I finally gave in.
But the hairdresser was a family friend, and apparently my mother warned him that I would tell him not to cut it. So when I said "don't cut it much, just trim the ends", he cut it...well, a lot more than that. Now my hair reaches just my shoulderblades.
And, well...after having such long hair, this feels so...ordinary. Average. In my social circles(mostly RP geeks and gamers and cosplayers) about half the men have long hair. Now I feel like I need to do something different.
I've never dyed my hair, and I was happy with "plain"(dark brown) hair...but if I am to have "plain" hair I want it down to my waist. Not my shoulderblades. I'm not happy with this. But I don't know what to do.
I looked around Google for examples...but any male hairstyle with highlights or a colored streak or anything like that is much shorter than I'd like. There are very few male examples of dyed long hair and they go WAY overboard. I don't think I can dye my entire hair blue or green or something like that. I'm a bulky guy, I'd look like a clown. And I can't dye it anything light, I have naturally dark hair, it wouldn't last long. I'm too lazy and cheap to get my hair redyed every two weeks.(And it'd ruin my hair anyway.)
Looking "girly" isn't a problem, I normally look like a caveman. I could have pink pigtails and still not look girly. I just don't want to look silly. And I don't want to do too little...because it looks half-assed. Doing something like just one blue streak says to me "I wanted to be different but I was too scared to do more than this".
Basically I COULD do anything that wasn't too much work...but I'm unsure because there are no examples. I really think highlights look good, but I can only find examples like Johnny Depp with MUCH shorter hair than I'd like. I don't want my hair to be higher than my shoulders, but I can't find any examples around that length, so I don't want to take risks.
tl;dr I don't feel happy about my hair and I want to.
Hey there, I'm sorry to hear about your incident with the barber.
The same thing happened to me back when I had my very long hair
two years ago. My dad took me to a barber friend of his (keyword:
friend of his) and he told me that he'd do a good job and just even it out. I however had a fit and told them both to shove it.
Anyway regarding your situation, it's easy to understand why you
feel the need to do something new and somewhat drastic. Your
identity has essentially been stripped by the barber and you feel
the need to compensate for it. I would avoid dyes and highlights
because they ruin hair in the long run. Did you consider facial
hairstyle? maybe growing a full beard, or if you already have a
beard, carving it into a van dyke or such? Facial hair adds lots
of character.
Happened to me too. I was 20 at the time and I had it cut by a friend of my mum. Not something to ever agree to. In my case it was only around my shoulders and ended up only over my ears and collar, which some might consider long, but I didn't.
I just had to grow it back, and it took a long time. I didn't really start to grow it down my back until I was 23, in response to a comment from a girl (merely a housemate, not someone I was dating) saying that it was only 'long for a guy'.
Have you thought about a beard, if you don't already have one? I already had a beard when this happened to me.
I wouldn't dye it, unless you use henna, because chemical dyes damage hair and make it harder to grow out.
One word of caution, some henna based dyes contain metal salts, which react exothermically (think cooking your hair) with chemical dyes, so don't use one if you have used the other.
Hi Flint_A,
I'd start your journey on growing it out again, and just feel good that the good ol' stylist didn't take it up to your ears in one snip-it. You are already different in hair length, when you think about it, compared to most other people out there... just by not being able to find good examples on the internet proves it - so savor the fine club on long-hairs you're in and continue the growing. What's your mom going to tell you when you're 25... time to get a haircut :p ???
Just whatever you do, don't end up with your hair going up instead of down ^_~ .....
Sincerely,
yoshiki
BTW, I was in the same situation for many years when I was younger myself ~_~ .....
I'd have to go with unreal's answer. And don't go to any scissor jockey that knows your family. I always hate to hear stories like this. Sometimes other people just need to shove off.
Hi there Mr. Flint_A,
Life on Earth is full of learning a variety of important lessons, some more painful and unpleasant than others. You've just learned one: don't go to a hair stylist that a friend or relative suggests who has been nagging you to cut your hair for a long time -- they have only one motive in mind, and that's to succeed at seeing you with shorter hair... ONLY if you had really wanted that same outcome, too, should you ever listen to their suggestion.
Re. coloring, perming, or chemically altering your hair in any way, many many guys who have been on this forum have all advised the same, based on their own experiences: DON'T DO IT!!!!!!! It weakens and eventually ruins your hair, resulting in yet another eventual haircut. Henna is the only exception (see the reply from Electros, however, re. some cautionary statements he made on this topic), that I know of, at least.
When/if you ever decide on your own to have a trim (like, for example, if the cut is bad or you have a lot of split ends), go to the best hair stylist in town, and be willing to pay top $$$$ for the higher quality service -- and better yet, try to find a hair stylist who specializes in long hair and/or has a long hair following (I found one near to where I live by asking a long-haired female friend of mine).
As someone said to me once, right after I regretted cutting my own hair short in Y2K, "Easy to cut, hard to grow!" For me, the lesson I learned in Y2K was to make a commitment to myself to never allow that same mistake to happen ever again, and that I wanted to be a longhair for life...
I hope my comments have helped!
- Ken in San Francisco
firstly it is important to remember that what makes you special comes from the *inside*
anyway, this is an opportunity to be really adventurous. tattoo your knuckles. glue things to your face. make your own clothes. these are just ideas~
let's talk about this chic new way of dying the tips of the hair that people are doing~
unlike in the days of yore, when teenagers who were trying really hard would, like, dye exactly the last 2 inches of their hair or something, so that it was straight across, the thing to do today is do have more of a fade-in effect (i've attached an example photo)
you mentioned that your hair is dark so if you're interested in doing this you would first have to lighten it and you can find plenty of tutorials on how to do an ombre effect on youtube.
I know how you feel about losing your identity, and I'm sure my family will try to catch me out the same way when I return to their country. I have immense respect for people who have to withstand nagging during the entire duration of having long hair.
After you have seriously considered the initial advice against dying your hair, I'll insert a suitable disclaimer and give you my 2c worth.
Disclaimer: When I experimented with hair colours and styles I didn't have long hair, and didn't have to worry about damage, etc.
If you dye your hair an unnatural colour (blue- or green-like colours being the most unnatural) then you'll have to redye your hair most often. I PERSONALLY recommend expressing yourself in different ways rather than committing permanent damage but maybe your idea of highlights could be fun. What colour would you use? Highlights won't really need redying if you don't use a crazy colour but they'll fade accordingly:
Red to pink (OCCASIONALLY orange),
Purple to pinky blue,
Green to light green/blue (quickly),
Blue to light green/blue (quickly)
Good luck,
Logan