new thread
In a few months I will be having several meetings in which I need to persuade people in positions of power to see my side of an argument, and I'm worried about my hair inhibiting their ability to take me seriously. I consider myself very mature and well-spoken, so I won't have any trouble arguing my case properly, but there are some people who can't appreciate a well-delivered argument from a mature speaker if they are distracted by the speaker's appearance. I know because when my hair was waist-length I could never ally people of power to my side or get them to take me seriously. One such person even told me something along the lines of, "your argument sounds convincing, but I simply can't take you seriously due to your unusual appearance, particularly your hair." The main reason I cut my hair short was to increase my negotiating power and communication skills, which worked wonderfully, but I was so miserable as a shorthair that I let my hair grow out again. So what should I do now that my hair might interefere again with my ability to be a convincing negotiator? Is there some way to hide my hair under a hat or short wig that doesn't look fake or like I'm trying hard to hide something?
According to the longhair classic, "The Significance of Male Hair," by Raj Kumar Singh, studies have actually demonstrated that college professors with long hair and/or beards are regarded as wiser and more trustworthy than those who have short hair and/or are clean-shaven. If you can manage a neatly trimmed beard or van dyke, it might help in this regard. Regardless of that, though, I suggest you just keep your hair clean and well cared-for, and let the conviction of your argument stand on its own merit. No matter what, don't cut your hair over this, as doing so for such a trivial reason would only serve to weaken your spirit and sense of self-confidence.
--Val
That is totally true.
A similar thing can also apply to the way you dress. I tend to dress in an alternative "gothy" sort of way no matter where I am. But for some reason, I decided to tone it down and dress in boring conventional clothes for an event before Christmas. Big mistake! I totally lost my spirit and self-confidence. I *became* boring and conventional - and very self-conscious.
Be true to yourself - and the rest will come naturally.
Damon
-----------------------------------------
If you were smart you would convince that person why long hair is superior to short hair and why you should be taken seriously. Explain that hair is a non sequitur and the fact that the person is bringing it up shows closed mindedness and weakness on the individual's behalf, possibly do to doubts about his or herself. You could reverse a situation like that and use it against your opponent. In life you have to fight fire with fire. Observe what politicians do when they debate and try to argue each other based on their mired records in office. They treat it like a chess game. If you receive a threat you either defend yourself from the treat or produce a counter attack. Your confidence is what will sell you. Never settle for a "no" answer. You will be more respected.
If you were smart you would convince that person why long hair is superior to short hair and why you should be taken seriously. Explain that hair is a non sequitur and the fact that the person is bringing it up shows closed mindedness and weakness on the individual's behalf, possibly do to doubts about his or herself. You could reverse a situation like that and use it against your opponent. In life you have to fight fire with fire. Observe what politicians do when they debate and try to argue each other based on their mired records in office. They treat it like a chess game. If you receive a threat you either defend yourself from the threat or produce a counter attack. Your confidence is what will sell you. Never settle for a "no" answer. You will be more respected.
I think you are looking at it all wrong. If your opponent starts criticising your appearance, that in itself is an admission that they have lost the argument and you have won. Period.
J.M.M.: what you say holds true in some contexts, I'm sure, but in Sören's context, I don't think it's a matter of "opponents", "threats", "attacks" or "counter attacks".
In a business context, it's more about making people side with you, making them agree with you, and not so much about dealing a crippling blow to your opponent.
Personally if you try and "hide your hair" one would get the impression that you are ashamed of it. That also would indicate a lack confidence which I'm sure your audience will sense at some point.I do wear my hair under a hat for work but its due to safety and also protecting it from the elements.For you, giving a presentation, there isn't any reason to cover your hair but obviously keeping it neat is important.So my opinion is "NO" don't cut it as you already went that route and look where that got you.Wear your mane with confidence my friend!Cheers
Mârk
An unfortunate fact of business is that people (unfairly) judge each other by their appearance. Most people I've known in positions like yours aim to cover every base when it comes to competitive advantage and that would include wearing hair a particular way. Ultimately, you may even have to decide between your job or long hair.
Personally, I hate the idea of shaping my appearance to meet other's expectations and have gone to considerable lengths to avoid that. Perhaps that's what you'll do. A truly clever negotiator might even come up with a way to make having long hair an advantage rather than a deficient. You might brainstorm on that for a while. The annoying thing is that a woman with identical hair wouldn't get a blink in that situation. Maybe you should wear a dress, then they might be afraid of discriminating against a gender minority. OK, that wasn't entirely serious, but it's good to brainstorm.
Hej Sören,
A wig would be over the top, but here's what I would do:
- Just make sure that my hair looks well-groomed and cared-for, because a sloppy look might translate into "not serious, not committed, ...". So maybe a classy slicked-back low ponytail.
- Start off my presentation with a short remark about my hair, to clear the air and break the ice -- something like this:
Now I realize some of you might be thinking "Why would I take this long-haired punk seriously? He can't even bother to get a haircut!" Well, all I ask is that you keep an open mind, so I can prove you wrong.
I've thought about making a preliminary explanation about my hair, but I'm worried that will make me seem overly defensive about it and thus less confident. But if I do say something to that effect, I think I'll reference David Cassidy, because my hairstyle is very similar to his in his glory days.