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Tomorrow, my parents are sending me to military school. I'm freaking out cause I have shoulder length hair I really love and I wonder if my girlfriend will dump me when I get my head shaved.Can I still check out this site when I'm bald?
Larry, do you want to go to military school?If not why not tell your parents that then.I can't understand why they would, out of the blue, want to send you to such a school.Also to answer your question you are more than welcome to lurk here but why not be a part of the action my friend.Forget the buzzcut and be a longhair:)Cheers
Mârk
I got in some trouble at my school. I'm 16 and don't really have a choice. Ireally don't want to go but my parents won't listen to me. My girl friend is really upset. I hope I can at least keep my moustache I've worked on for a year.
I have to wonder how badly did you get in trouble to warrant such a punishment.I hardly think you would deserve this and would fight tooth and nail against it.I imagine they have to pay for this school being its not public.Should you be forced to go make sure they DON'T get their monies worth.
Mârk
Hi Mark,
My limited understanding about how military schools operate is based on the fact that when I was still in my early 20s I worked at a similar-style boarding school back in the Chicago, IL area, called Chicago Jr. School. Parents send their kids to these types of schools because they feel their teenager is too "out-of-control" for them to be able to handle on their own. Often the combination of getting bad grades in many or all subjects, possibly getting into some sort of local trouble with the law (whether real or imagined), running around with a rough crowd, etc., etc., all help have one or both parents decide to send their kid away to this kind of place before they turn legal adult age of 18 -- in other words, yes, in these parents' minds they are "getting their $$'s worth!"
Often there are also many other behind-the-scenes complications involved in this sort of decision -- the parents may not necessarily see eye-to-eye over this, for example, and might even be on the verge of possible divorce...
Again, this is my limited understanding of this subject; but as Long Hair in Albany said, hopefully this young man will make the most of his current situation by focussing on getting his grades up to snuff, etc.
- Ken
PS - I'll try to call & talk to you over this coming weekend!
Hi Ken,
Thanks for offering your insight to the situation that Larry currently is in.I admit knowing none of the details of his situation so my response would be based on only what I took saw the surface of his post.I can imagine that some kids are so "out of control" that this is sort of a last resort.Possibly without such "tough love" the person may be in for a very rough adulthood.So thanks again for your explanation as it does make sense.Cheers
Mârk
Thanks Ken for your inside info on these outfits.
One can google the phrase 'gulag schools' to find out more. Isolation of an abused person is one of the major tactics employed by their abuser, and one can look at the level of isolation imposed on its students as one factor to evaluate a school as to whether it is a legitimate school or a gulag school. Some gulag schools are in isolated locations and being there is as imprisoning as being locked in the basement. Abusive parents who have the money may send you to a gulag school instead of locking you in the basement. Considering the social environment in such schools, surrounded by kids and staff who are no angels, you may be better off locked in the basement.
There are good legitimate military schools, of course. Ask quite a few students who go there if they are glad to be there. If so, that's a good sign that it's a school, not a prison.
Also, there are people who track gulag schools, and you can find their work on the Internet. If your proposed school is problematical, you will probably learn that in your search.
Bill
Let me add...
If you suspect you are about to be taken to a gulag school against your will, you may want to consider moving out at once to a place you can't be found. Gulag schools are noted for hiring thugs who will come and kidnap you, and once they get you into such a place, it is very hard to escape. You will be watched like prison guards watch their inmates, and the buildings are constructed to keep you in. If you get out, you may be many miles from anywhere you can get help.
This is a painful topic to have to bring up, but longhaired kids (and also gay kids) are often targeted to be sent to such places. My mother was very abusive towards me on both counts. At age eleven she hired two thugs to drag me off to a barber shop and hold me down while they cut off all my hair. Then she tried to send me off to a gulag school but my father would not allow it.
I know one longhair who was shipped off to such a prison in the Rocky Mountains and he was unable to get out of there for two years. Being there really messed up his life. On the Internet you can find stories of kids who did not get out of such places alive.
All may look rosy before you leave, and it may turn out that way. But it may not. About all you can do beyond the research is to trust your gut. Those who work at the intake level can be masters at deception. As i said, trust your gut. And if the alarms go off, don't delay in heeding them.
Bill
Hi Bill,
Wow,I had no idea you endured such harsh treatment in your childhood.That is some scary stuff as I wouldn't think that could happen in this country.The idea you were taken in for a forced haircut in such a manner is sickening and had to be very traumatizing.Thankfully your dad stepped in to prevent being shipped to such an institution.I'm glad you survived all that but what a way to live you childhood years.Thanks for sharing.
Mârk
If there's an up side to it, it's that my past has motivated me to help others and has given me the first hand experience to apply to that task. Quite a few of the older guys on here suffered the indignities of such hassles and they stick around for that reason. By the time one retires, one hopes he still will not need support to grow his hair. We come here because we wouldn't wish what happened to us on anybody.
One great thing about this web community is that we can all learn from each other, and no one who comes here need leave here without the support of others who have walked down the same road. We do have a rich variety of men from all generations - young guys, guys who are the same age as their fathers, and older guys who are old enough to be their fathers' fathers. Young guys need the support of those their own age, but only the older guys can tell them, and their fathers if they will listen, what lies down the pike.
On point, I remember one spat we were hearing about several years ago, where one of the old guys told a kid who was being hassled by his dad, "Ask him if he ever wants to see his grandchildren." That put an end to the squabble, then and there.
Bill
Hi Bill,
I had to smile at your last paragraph with the threat of never seeing the grand kids.That must have struck a cord as most retired men enjoy spending time with their grand kids.Even though this father was not of that age yet, he surely saw that writing on the wall of being alienated by his son just because he was being a jerk about his long hair or other trivial issue.Of course if the kid was getting into real trouble there is that tough love issue but using the loss of ones long hair as a weapon is cruel.Long hair hurts no one as all it possibly does is bring out stereotypes in other bitter people who probably hate their own lives.Thanks for you very informative response as I always learn new things from you:)Cheers
Mârk
This post makes me sad.
All but the luckiest of us know what it's like to be stripped of your identity like this. When the time came for my parents to force me to get a haircut, I was in seventh grade, and very self-conscious as many children are. I'd been through over a year of growth at that point, and when I showed up at school the next day I nearly got suspended for refusing to take my cap off. It was awful.
The one thing I don't regret about the cut was not fighting them about it. I'd actually preferred a shave over a trim because of how poorly I'd maintained my head, and I'd decided, Well, it's gonna happen anyway; may as well go balls-to-the-wall about it. You should talk to them about it rationally. Explain that you know how to maintain it and keep it looking nice. Then explain that you're your own person, and it has become part of your identity. I'm assuming you did not choose to be sent to military school.
I wish you god-speed in your endeavors.
On visiting the MLHH: Of course you can.
On the loss of hair itself: It will grow back.
On the possible loss of your girlfriend: If she's the kind of person who would dump you over the length of your hair, good riddance.
On your being sent to military school: Without knowing what you did, it's hard for anyone here to say whether or not this is a wise decision on your parents' part. For a one-time offense, it might be over the top. If you have a history of delinquency, poor academic performance, criminal activity, and/or generally lousy decision-making ability, going somewhere to learn the self-discipline and responsibility you may not be learning at home might be the best thing for you at this point in your life. If this is the case, make the best of it, but at the same time, take care to not lose your sense of self, and remember that this too shall pass.
Good luck,
Val
In which barbaric country do you live?
Probably in the USA (LOL)!!
You do not surprise me.