new thread
I am a guy and in late 20's and growing long hair for first time and since i been trying to grow it longer I get critical comments from family. I wanted to know how to deal with that any advice what to do and say? Mostly comments I got before was I need to get it cut or trimmed and my hair looks horrible. I get upset since its not their hair and I am older and make my own decisions. I did shave my hair back in 2003 and kept it for a few years and didn't really like it and grew my hair back but family made critical comments when i did that and even to this day they bring that up and I find it annoying since thats in the past already. Because i was an adult at the time also and i have every right to what i want and now I want to grow it longer they will do it again. I really would like some advice how to handle this and if anyone had same problem with friends or family critical comments.
Well Metal Dude: You can just ignore their comments and walk away, or just say if the length of my hair matters more than our friendship than we have no friendship or much of a relationship. It is your hair part of your being so wear it long if you wish. I'm sure you look great with it long.
Tom(Hairboy)
Either ignore them, or tell them it is your hair, and you are going to wear it he way you want. You old enough now to make your own decisions. I found that now that I am 44, I could care less about what anyone thinks.
Darrin
I agree. At my age, I almost feel a sense of entitlement. Meaning, I worked long and hard to get where I am, and my gosh, if I want to do something as simple as wear my hair a certain way, I will do it. The people who have tried to criticize have already had me tell them that, in no uncertain terms.
Steve
You already have an idea about what to say, because you said it in your post: it's your hair and you're old enough to wear it the way you want to. Sure, I've had to deal with all that. What works best for me is to turn the tables. Ask them how they would feel if you criticized THEIR hair, or clothes, etc. They will be uncomfortable in no time and then you let them know their comments made you feel the same way. Worked for me. Good luck. Steve
Not only shine it on, but smile and take strength in the fact that you're doing what you want for you. Draw power from the bad comments and let them strengthen your resolve. ;)
When I had waist length blonde hair as a man, it made me rare in the eyes of most New Yorkers. Lets just face it, there isn't that many men with real blond hair running around Manhattan, and even less with waist length hair blond hair. Treat comments about yourself like any politican or celebrity would. I even recommend lying to and bullshitting the critics.
Late 20's and family or friends actually knocking you at THIS AGE about how you should wear you hair? Do they have any respect of you as an Adult? They should be totally ashamed of themselves for such disrespect!
I made this video at the end of 2008 when I myself had long hair. I hope this will help you alot.
All the best-
Justin~
After watching that video, I went through and watched a bunch of your videos (both hair and piano related). I just wanted to say that a) Grow your hair out again! It was awesome! b) You seem like a really fun, personable guy, and I loved watching all of them.
Thank you ever so much and glad you enjoyed some of the other videos. I made one other about how to deal with people several years later, and all of this because so many guys kept writing to me that they were simply unable to keep their cool with the 1st course of action that I spoke of in that #7 in the series of "For Men with Long Hair." This is the "get tough" way to handle them, but my own 1st choice would still be the video I sent to you above. Best of luck and don't take any more .... and abusive talk from these very rude people. They are entirely out of line, lack any kind of manners and should all get a life and do something worthwhile with it.
Justin~
I got lots of complaints from family, it got to the point where
I laid down the law, "this is my house, my income, my rules. if
you don't like it you can leave." That put an end to the
complaints.
I would also point out that the complaints also stopped once
I hit my 40s. It's very easy for adults to dump all over
those in their teens twenties or thirties. Once I reached my
40s alot of the older people had died off, so now I was
becoming one of the older ones. With the attainment of that
age came the ceasing of complaints. I then became the exentric
uncle with the long hair.
You also should realize that if it's not your
hair there will be lots of other stuff they'll
complain about.
I'd just keep it very brief: "Thank you for your opinion, but we're both adults and I don't tell you how to style your hair."
and then if they keep babbling on:
"Again, I hear you and I appreciate your feedback, but that's all I have to say about the matter. Would you pass me the butter?"
You rightly say that you are an adult who should make his own decisions. You must be prepared to tell some, including members of your family to mind their own business and simply ignore what they say.
Some will always feel they have a right to tell you what to do - they need to be put in their place.
"You have enemies? Why, it is the story of every man who has done a great deed or created a new idea."
-Victor Hugo