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I'm just not interested in wasting the time and energy to get involved in a dialog with the negative types. A dismissive comment and a slightly rolled eye and keep walking usually suffices. If it is offensive enough, I'll give them a quick "canned" response and keep moving. No interest in arguing or trying to change someone's mind or attitude.
Similarly, I don't care to engage myself in the choices other people make about the way they choose to style or cut/not cut or care for their hair. I give them the same consideration for making their own choices as I would *hope* to get from them.
My hair...my business. Your hair...your business. Deal?
Sometimes it's the more subtle comment or gesture that drives your point that I love my hair the way it is regardless of what you think.If you like your ugly,short haircut then good for you!LOL.
Mârk
Very well said, and strong.
rowie
Thankfully rowie I can't even recall the last time a negative hair comment came my way and hopefully it stays that way:)Maybe I look too mean and they are afraid of me!Ha ha.
Mârk
I agree. I usually don't get any comments, but I'd rather not waste my time with people that can't keep their opinions to themselves.
I think making comeback comments to those people like those that have been suggested just lowers us to their level. If we do that, we're no more tolerant than they are.
The last comment I got on my hair was from a drunk who told me I looked like Willie Nelson. Fine by me.
I can't remember the last time I got a negative comment, but to paraphrase Catherine Tate: "Am I bovvered? Do I look like I'm bovvered?"
Because you sure hell don't look like Willie Nelson to me.
WIllie is old enough to be your Grandfather!
Yes, as the old saying goes: "Live and let live!"
One of my long-time best friends likes to buzz off all his hair every summer. I'm not fond of seeing him do that; but it's his hair, not mine. He's always been 100% supportive of me having my hair long -- so why wouldn't I treat him in the same respectful manner?
As far as getting negative comments about my hair from total strangers, I can only recall 2 occasions of that ever happening -- the positive comments far outweigh the negative. Each individual negative encounter is best to not plan ahead what to say, because every situation is different. I like your approach, Tolleypup -- a brief response (if that even feels right), and then keep on walking...
Thanks for posting this thread!
Long Lox 4ever,
Ken
...and not just about hair.
The most recent comment I got was just the other day. I was walking past a chavvy pub in the late afternoon. A large group of mostly middle-aged loud men were gathered outside drinking and smoking. As I walked past I heard one of them call out "Hey, pretty boy!" amid some muffled laughter from the others.
Not sure if they were jibing at my long hair or my skinny jeans - or a combination of both - but I just ignored it and kept walking on as if I hadn't heard them (I had my iPod headphones on at the time so that would be possible anyway).
Hey, at least they acknowledged I was male. That's gotta be a plus right?
Funny thing is that I was on my way to a very similar pub which would also be full of middle-aged loud men (I'd promised to help out my mate (with short hair) who was DJ'ing there and set up his equipment).
I'll admit I was just slightly unnerved by the time I arrived at his pub - so I steeled myself and decided to try Plan A: attitude, attitude, attitude. I pulled myself together, looked moody and aggressive, and strode into the pub as if I owned the place.
It worked! Before long, the guys were buying me rounds, chatting about football as if I'd been their mate for years, and making positive comments about my hair. Turned out to be a really awesome evening - though I can't remember much of the later part after a load of sambucas!
It's all about attitude. Just go around as if you OWN your hair (which after all, you DO!) and people will back off. ;)
Damon
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What is a "Chavvy" pub?
A large group of mostly middle-aged loud men were gathered outside drinking and smoking. As I walked past I heard one of them call out "Hey, pretty boy!" amid some muffled laughter from the others.
you could respond with "Do guys turn you on?"
well, you could look at it this way at least they didn't call you ugly so that is a plus.
exactly!
chavvy = something used by British lowlifes, the younger members of whom are typically wankstas (wannabe gangstas) and notoriously intolerant of dudes with long hair - or indeed any dude with an intelligence and dress sense much above that of a gorilla.
I could have - but I don't have a death wish. I am staunchly pro-life - particularly if it's my own life that is involved.
I should mention that the men were considerably larger than me. The concept of winding up as a bloody pulp on the sidewalk would have decidedly disrupted what had been a pleasant afternoon until then and held no great appeal to me.
My "attitude" in the other pub later was all bluff. I'm really a dedicated coward. :)
Damon
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Hi Damon :)
The word chav came about through the constant stereotyping by British media in referencing the working class youth sub-culture in England.
Generally in my view, a chav is someone who's clothes consist of the typical tracksuit, a haircut achieved by lying on the local football field and waiting for the town's lawnmower to arrive, and may sport a cap to avoid detection from the local RSPCA van LOL. They usually hang around in the center of towns, and during summer can be seen sporting a tank top or no top at all, causing trouble for the local residents.
Now of course that is just me wildly expanding on stereotypes that are around, no offence intended, the town I live in is well known for being heavily populated by ''chavs''. This is just from my personal experience.
However, I never judge anyone from their external appearance, in fact I have several friends and acquaintances that would fall under the above stereotype, but they are actually rather friendly and cool in their own way. The old saying ''don't judge a book by it's cover'' comes to mind.
I live as a free thinker and promote diversity in any way shape or form, I sport my hair the way I choose, and the clothes I wear based on my personal preference. I look towards other people, long hair or not as having the right to choose what is most preferable to them.
Just felt like throwing my contribution in there :)
Have a great week and take care mate,
James
James,
what instrument do you play and what style of music does your band play?
Hi Ashley :)
I play the drums, I was taught professionally from the age of 12. My band plays mainly alternative music, which is pretty cool :)
Thanks for the compliment, take care,
James
That is such a vague term and does not really tell anyone what your band might sound like.
could you provide some examples of your bands work?
if not , how about some artists which might have influenced your band and/or what other bands your own might have something in common with?
Yeah, James. I know only too well what chavs are like. My current g/friend lives on one of the most infamous chav housing estates in England. That's rumoured to be the one where riots hit the headlines twelve years ago after mobs attacked the home of a doctor because the word "pediatrician" was engraved on the brass plaque under her name. They thought it meant she was a pedophile.
Sadly, the stereotype is pretty accurate for many of the residents. But you're right: never judge a book by its cover. Some of them are incredibly friendly and will go well out of their way to help you - even if you're not wearing gold chains and a tracksuit. Just be careful what you engrave under your name! :)
Damon
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Not a good idea. Why waste mental energy on morons?
Couldn't agree more. I have survived 3 attacks by what you would call chavs (we call em' homeboys ) in the 3 years where i was living. The odds were against me 2-1 and on a couple of occasions as high as 8-1. I did fight back but had to retreat because the odds were overwhelming. On their own they are cowards and meek like mice but with their wanksta mates behind them they think they are tough. Ever notice how boyish wanksta culture is. I have never heard of the expression "homemen" only "homeboys" which I think says it all. Chavs are boys who have never grown up. Hopefully most will wake up to themselves once they are in their mid 20's but sadly many people like this do not.
Select your fights carefully. Older mature people do not have to prove anything to those who do not matter. Young-in-the-head people have bravado and ego which
He who runs away from overwhelming odds has more sense and will live again another day.
Hey Damon,
Thanks for that cool example of being called out to on the street but in reality you must have enjoyed the comment right?Certainly they could have called you much worse and what's wrong with being a pretty boy anyway:) Overall sounds like a great evening and I'm sure you'd enjoy it a second time around but maybe not a third;)LOL.Cheers
Mârk
Haha! Well, it sure beats being called an ugly $%@*$!!! But in their eyes, any dude who spends more than ten seconds on his appearance must be a raving drag queen. :)
Yeah, it makes a change from the indie scene I usually hang out with but I'm not sure I could handle the music a third time round. My mate was forced to play 1970s pop and disco for them and it was all I could do to stop myself from going outside for a vomit.
Damon
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I agree. There is an old proverb: "Wise men never argue with fools, because people from a distance can't tell who is who".
It's a Biblical truth, too. It's referred to as "casting your pearls before swine," meaning those type of people are not going to learn from what you have to say, so don't bother with it at all.
We shall have to call it the curls before swine mantra.