new thread
I'm a bit too late to reply to the thread, "Aftermath of a forced haircut"; but would still like to share some thoughts about going through that type of experience -- because even though I haven't been through that "exact" kind of situation, when I was 17 - 18, I went through a similarly stressful ordeal.
All throughout my childhood years and into my teens, when I still lived in my father's house, he did NOT AT ALL allow even remotely "long-ish" hair on me or my 4 brothers. In fact, every summer right after school was let out, we had no choice in the matter: we were "forced" to have summer buzz-cuts (which I totally totally HATED with a passion!)...
Then when the year 1971 came along (the year I turned 18), 2 significant things happened in my life:
1) I went away to my one and only year at college;
2) my dad & step-mom, who had not been getting along at all in several years, were in the beginning stages of going through divorce.
When I came back home from college in June of '72, my dad surprised me by still insisting on me cutting my hair short. I already had a summer job waiting for me, which was a week away from when my dad gave me this haircut ultimatum; so I had a rather tough decision to make...
Should I just leave home and disobey him? (But realizing that it would cost me not being able to continue with my college education)
Should I just resentfully cooperate with his unfair request (which I had already done my entire life so-far, all the while secretly having a deep yearning & burning desire to become a longhair someday)?
Should I just, "play the game?" -- in other words, PRETEND to cooperate with my dad in order to get my college education -- and then after graduating from college and landing a decent job, give my dad "the middle finger" by growing my hair out then?
There were no easy answers. No matter which decision I was going to make, there were serious pros & cons to both...
Here's what I ended up doing the year I was still 18:
I decided to leave home, since there were additional reasons for wanting my freedom from my dad's controlling and emotionally abusive behavior.
At 58 years old now, and still not having a college degree, do I ever regret that decision that I made back in 1972?
HONEST ANSWER:
Well, "sometimes" I do regret it -- but only because of not having an easily paid-for college education! But, most of the time I *DON'T* regret what I did back then, because I felt like I was making the nearest right decision under those particular stressful set of circumstances.
We can only do our best; so, we should neither fear being judged by another person for the tough decisions we have to make in life, nor should we judge another person ourselves -- and as Bill said in his reply to that thread, "Aftermath of a forced haircut", we only have so many "cards" to play in life...
Happy card-playing!
- Ken in San Francisco
Dear Parents,
Fear not if your male child wishes to grow his hair long. This does NOT mean he'll "probably" grow up to be a girl, will become effeminate, will be a drug-user, a biker, a surfer, become homeless, or refuse to go out and get himself a good job (although occasionally some of them become surfers or bikers extraordinaire - LOL)....
See the little boy with the buzz-cut on the far right of this pic? Well, he (plus 3 out of his 4 bothers) grew his hair very very looooong when he got older; but, the good news is: he's still not too bad of a kid (at least MOST f the time - LOL)!!
Yours Truly,
Longhaired Geezer in San Francisco
"Most f the time?"
No, I was NOT trying to use the *F* word here (LOL) -- I thought I had typed the word, "OF"; but somehow my typing fingers I guess didn't properly hit the "o" key....
wot a great pic. ... I loved my childhood too = growing up in the care-free 70's ... cheers Cem. (◡‿◡✿)
Ken,
I had a similar experience growing up with Dad's clippers every summer. I stayed home for college as a commuter student and eventually won the battle, growing my hair to my waist while still living at home. Got married in my ponytail and moved out and on to graduate school.
N2L
WOW, cool -- great to hear about a happy ending story like that! It's always nice to read about a parent who comes to his and/or her senses, becoming more reasonable about the hair issue... After all, it's ONLY HAIR!!!
Thanks so much for the reply!
- Ken
Ken,
I thought of you when someone posted this link to a Youtube video about the Golden Gate Bridge.
N2L
A video for Ken in SF
Ken,
I think you made a great decision. It took a lot of balls and most people wouldn't have the courage. I totally respect people who stick to their core beliefs. Very few do this anymore.
Darrin
My dad used to give my brothers and I short haircuts at home also, but in our case it was year-round, not just for summertime. It didn't really bother me at the time, that's just the way it was in my mind. My first experience with having my hair even long-"ish" was my 10th summer. We had sold one house, but were waiting for our new house to be completed, so we spent the summer living in our travel trailer at a campground. Mom apparently decided it was too much of a pain to take us into town for haircuts, and Dad was on the road most of the time (he was a long-distance truckdriver), so my hair got pretty shaggy by the end of summer. We moved into the new house just before the next school year started, and it was back to the usual short cut. My mom still likes to laugh about the way the barber grumbled at having to work through my thick mop.
My haircuts got a bit longer through high school, but never more than hitting the top of the collar. Then I joined the Navy, and we all know what that does for any hopes of long hair. I think I was already a budding longhair, though. I got into role-playing games (Dungeons & Dragons and such) just before high school, and if you were to look through my old character sheets many of the descriptions list hair at least shoulder-length. A little fantasy wish-fulfillment, I suppose [grin].
And, as I've related before, when my Navy career came to a close I had my last haircut a few days before my retirement ceremony and haven't looked back.
Frodo
Poor old Ken! That must have been hard for you. I'm trying to imagine what life would have been like if I'd had to drop out of college.