new thread
I am a 67-year-old male former longhair whose hair is so thin now that I do not like the looks of it long. Besides, letting it grow leaves it in a perpetual awkward phase. So I have chosen, reluctantly, to cut it.
Nonetheless, I am a devoted supporter of long hair on guys. I have followed this board, lurking or making anonymous observations, for probably 10 years now. I have cheered at the courage of some guys to face criticism for their independence, and cried with those who by narrow-minded parents or bosses, have been forced to cut back their luscious long hair.
I see nothing in the rules preventing supportive short-hairs (or women) from participating in this forum. And I probably won't offer much advice -- just to cheer those who are succeeding at what I can't do.
If I am not welcome as a member of this longhaired forum, I understand. I will continue to lurk and admire on my own. (And, of course, if you think my name is already in use, I would change it. I couldn't find it searching the archives).
May peace and happiness and success be with you all.
Rick.
God luv. ewe - Rick. :^)
I am a formerly long-haired, currently shortish-haired father of two long-haired sons, and have only recently (within less than the past year) finally secured a professional position with which I feel completely happy, fulfilled, and secure enough to begin walking the long road back toward my own longhairdom. I have also been an active and supportive member of the MLHH for years. As long as your contributions to this community are supportive and in keeping with the board rules, I see no reason for you to remain in "lurking" mode. It sounds to me like you've had experience and gained knowledge that could be valuable to others... please feel free to share it!
From the FAQ's:
"This board is for posting about long hair on men. Any posting on this subject that passes the rest of the rules is an allowable post."
"The purpose of the board is to support men in growing and keeping long hair, and posts in line with that purpose are on topic. We also consider posts about subjects which are part of longhair culture to be on topic."
Best regards,
Val
Val,
Congratulations on your success in finding professional employment. A decent salary and benefits including retirement are desperately needed in these times, especially with long hair at heart. I don’t dare grow my hair out more than shoulder length on the job. Especially since a co worker with long hair recently retired, leaving me the only one with long hair in the office. I don’t feel confident to grow my hair out any longer as I would stand out more. I probably have to wait until retirement to grow my hair any longer. At least I have a retirement for longer long hair.
Don
Thanks, Don. Job security really has become a hairy issue (pun intended) in today's economy. As a registered nurse, I feel fortunate in that I probably have an easier time than many in regards to simply finding a job, but not all nursing jobs or employers are created equally, either.
I spent about 1-1/2 years working in a private hospital, where the professional culture was extremely mercenary. It was highly politicized, in a 'small-town mentality' kind of way. I witnessed a great deal of pettiness and backstabbing there, and the mere act of growing my hair long could have very well been the catalyst for someone in administration to start looking for reasons to either get rid of me, or train/promote others past me.
Late last year, I'd had enough, and tendered my resignation there. About 6 weeks later, I began working as the public health nurse for a small tribal health center. I had worked with this community in the past while employed by a local health department (before entering the nursing field), and was thrilled to have the opportunity to do so again. It's certainly the best job I've ever had (I actually look forward to going to work most days, and start to miss it if I'm gone too long), and the move has also been wonderful for myself and my family on a personal level. As a big added bonus, not only is long hair on men not frowned upon here, it is actually considered culturally appropriate, and even preferable to many people.
I've also had to do quite a bit of psychoemotional/spiritual work "on the inside" in recent years, especially concerning breaking the patterns of emotional abuse from my parents dating back to my childhood and extending into adulthood, and overcoming the long-term effects of such. As my health has improved in that regard, so too has my physical health, and it feels as though one of the next steps toward positive self-actualization needs to be to finally allow myself to regrow the long hair I once had, and then some. It's time for me to appear EXternally like the strong, independent, vital, worthy man I now know and feel I am, INternally. For me, a necessary part of that is a long, flowing, power-filled mane. I've been "almost ready" for a long time now, as those of you who've known me here for years have probably grown tired of hearing. I've supported my two sons in the growing of their long hair. I've supported countless men via the MLHH to do the same. I've started and stopped too many times to count, and it's time to break that pattern, as well. It's my turn now.
Anyway, sorry for getting so long-winded. I'm sorry to hear that you feel constrained in having the freedom to grow your hair as long as you would like. May I ask in what industry you're employed? Are there any other viable professional options available to you? Is your supervisor/employer approachable enough to simply sit down and discuss the matter with you? You might find out that it isn't even an issue. Alternatively, maybe if you let it lengthen gradually (i.e., let it grow out a couple of inches, get 1/2-inch trimmed, repeat as desired), nobody would notice. If your hair grows at the average rate of 1/2-inch per month, this would only amount to an increase in hair length of about 1-1/2 inches every 4 months, or 4-1/2 inches per year, which might be gradual enough to avoid alarming anyone who might take offense.
At any rate, kudos to you for remaining a longhair, and best wishes to you, however you proceed in the journey :)
--Val
Thanks, Val, for providing that very interesting background on your own situation. I am so happy for you that you have achieved such a good situation. It's very rare to land a position in an environment where long hair is actually encouraged. I am drawn to Native peoples and it must be a fulfilling endeavor to work where you do.
It's good to hear also that you have made progress dealing with the internal issues that have afflicted you and that now is the time for that to be reflected on the outside. I can relate in that area as well.
You're there man!! You've got the circumstances and such great quality hair to work with. Now it's our turn to encourage YOU!! Grow that powerful mane, take the next step in your process of becoming, reclaim the longhaired part of your being that should be latent no longer.
You have encouraged so many with not only your compliments but your well-written advice and support of members of this community. Please let us cheer you on your journey!
.
Thanks, Jason. You're definitely one of my personal "hairoes," and have been an inspiration to me for many years, not only because of your awesome hair, but also because of the way you've overcome obstacles and defeated the inner demons in your own life.
And you're right... I guess I have "arrived." Time to take the next step forward.
--Val
Wow what an inspiring post. Here's to you Validus and the wonderful journey ahead, we are privileged to share it with you.
Kind regards Dave
Val,
Your reply really touched my heart. Very beautiful, honest, showing life’s turns and eddies to expect. Your new work environment sounds such a happy ending to a hair journey/ story. To look forward to going to work every day, 40 hours a week, sounds so positive. An adverse work environment can easily happen when a manager has poor personnel management skills, ie never pointing out anything positive, no eye contact. Or jealous co-workers whose leading expertise is the put down. How can you wear long hair in this situation? You are just an easy target to pick off for entertainment.
The principal of the High School where my wife works has a husband who was in the Army, oh no. She extends a militaristic attitude over the teachers she supervises with one line directions without explanation. Corrective action is frequently applied for alleged non compliance. What do you do? People try to transfer out to teach at other high schools. Many just quit or retire early. My wife has had to take some years off to regather strength, and then work just part time at the school. There are no long hairs on the teaching staff at this school.
And your new work environment doesn’t mind your hairstyle, even encourages long hair. What a great accomplishment with your hair story. You can work with other medical technicians without being preoccupied by how you wear your hair. And then focus on providing care to people. During college, I stayed with my parents in the north Bay Area during summers to commute to two hospitals in San Francisco working in the basement as a dishwasher on a Hobbart dish washing machine and then a cafeteria server. Many of the guys including the nursing staff and other technicians came down to the cafeteria during lunch in their white work clothes, wearing their long hair tied back in the ponytail, or in braids circled in back clamped down. The long hair tied back just drowned out in a sea of white clothes in the cafeteria. In San Francesco, it’s almost better to have some alternative identity to joke about, ie long hair, a Goth, etc. to avoid standing out as an uninteresting conformist. So all the long hair the better. The problem with such an ideal environment is that many people want this and then everyone wants to live there, making housing so expensive. It is a challenge to find work in an area then is open minded, but still affordable to buy housing over renting.
Losing other long haired co-workers will take time for me to recover. It is a shock to see an empty office with a blank desk when there once was a long haired guy in there day after day. Thanks for your advice to do small trims to slow down my hair growth, rather than putting it on hold, which I will proceed to do. Being wavy, it takes longer to grow out anyway. My previous hair strategy was “catch-up” to shoulder blade level since both co-workers had their hair at this length. I was not cutting my hair at all. I’ll need to be carefull to see if I can resume this strategy being the only one. But I was in a state of panic because this happened so fast. The two that left had specialized tasks in sideslope stability analysis with minimal supervision. My supervisor has not mentioned anything about my hair. Many co-workers say it looks fine. Over time, I hope I can resume my “catch-up” hair strategy as before and just let it grow while processing permits for a state agency by mapping locations using software, and then linking other databases to the permit.
Hope to see Dad with long hair with the kids soon.
Don
I think everyone here welcomes support, and particularly from anyone who is a longhair at heart.
I still have just enough hair to be able to keep it long, but I can share your pain in not being able to have the lengths I would have liked.
Thanks for your support, and keep on posting from time to time - there are many out there who need to know that with oppressive parents and employers, they are not alone.
As 'bte' said, you're a longhair at heart, and supportive of those with long hair, so I say join in, enjoy yourself, and welcome !!
Cheers Dave :)
You're more than welcome
You are most welcome here Rick - You're definitely an honorary long hair!
- Oren
You are very welcome here Rick. It doesn't matter whether you wear your hair long or short. It is all in the attitude and if you fully support a man's right to wear his hair at whatever length he chooses then you belong here!
Where I live I have a 69 year old nearby neighbour who is a bodybuilder, chef and musician who said to me recently that he would be disappointed to see my hair short and that he thinks I am well suited to long hair. He wears his hair short as his hair is thinning, and does not believe it suits him having long hair, but he is long hair friendly.
Duncan
That's all it takes, so welcome!
I'm 65, and to paraphrase the song, "The old gray hair, she ain't what she used to be!" All of us older guys know this, and the younger ones if they don't will someday find out. [grin]
I've chosen to just let nature take its course, to let my mane gray and age in place. Kids still smile and throw peace signs at me, so as I see it, my hair's long enough!
Bill
A warm, big hairy WELCOME to you, Rick!!!
Anybody who will tell you that you're "not" welcome here should have their head examined (whether they have hair on top of that head or not - LOL)....
Once in awhile it might seem as if there's an underlying "competition" going on here at MLHH, because with all of the many "Updates" and great hair pics that tend to flood the pages of this website, I have to confess myself that getting "Oooo's" and "Ahhhs" as a reply to any recent pic just posted certainly does stroke the old ego a bit. BUT, to the best of my recollection anyway, the heart & soul of this place and this community is to provide SUPPORT for MEN to be ABLE to grow their hair long (if they so WISH to)... Nobody says everybody "has to" grow it long, however -- there are plenty of reasons a guy might feel he can't do that right now (or maybe even *ever* grow it). Every person has the right to make their own personal decision on that issue.
Thank you so much for posting this thread, it's been wonderful to read -- and brings up a very important point, and is a good reminder that "longhairs at heart" come in all different shapes, sizes, ages, and hair-lengths (including little or no hair at all).
Anybody who would never say to a guy, "Get a haircut!" to me is welcomed here with wide-open arms!
- Ken in San Francisco
A longhair at heart is always welcome here!
Welcome Rick!
Bruce