new thread
I would like to know if there are any Aspies (or those with other forms of autism) using this board that have long hair (other than myself). If you have it as well, please reply. Thanks.
Hi Matthew,
I may have, but they have never quite been able to "figure me out". Any professionals I have been to fob me off as simply being depressed, since I was about 16 or 17. I have done a lot of googling and many of my symptoms fit with Aspergers syndrome, I know I have something but it remains a frustrating mystery until I can find the right help.
MattT
Autism and Aspergers do vary between people, and for some, their autism is so mild they do not realize they have it. Plus, as you get older, the signs of being an Aspie do fade out a bit and is usually more prevalent in younger people like children and teens. Then again, there are non-autistics that do have a few autistic signs like they are shy and do not enjoy strong sensory.
Matthew
------------------------
I have it, and it has been a real problem for me. In fact, I did not even know what Asperger's was until I read up on it, and realised I had it.
I have narrow fields of interests.
I have a very specific daily routine that I have to do. Any change in that and I have a fit. This problem is so bad that I was unable to attend my Dad's funeral. It required an extreme change of routine, including flying 400 miles on a plane.
I have very poor social skills. I have a really hard time in a group of more than 3 people.
I have poor motor skills. I hated team sports in high school physical education class. Most of those sports required hitting or catching a ball. Both require precise timing. Pushups, pullups, and runnimg I was good at, they don't require precise timing.
In addition, I have severe ADHD, and unable to focus on tasks to completion. I score 27 out of a possible 30 for ADHD.
I also have prosopagnosia (face blindness) which makes it difficult to recognise some people. I can usually recognise longhairs, both from front or back.
And lastly on the list, I have central auditory processing disorder, which is a form of selective deafness. People can say something to me and I am unable to understand them. (My hearing is actually good, being able to hear distant sounds like a bird chirping in a tree 100 meters away that no one else can hear.)
I would love to chat with you on Facebook regarding this sometime. Maybe we should start an Asperger's support group on Facebook. Now that I think about it, I possibly already belong to one of those groups. I will have to check.
Scott
Hi Scott. I read your message.
I am with you. The difference was that I learned that I had Aspergers when I was in elementary school, but I did not know the effects of it till later in high school.
I do also have a narrow field of interests, but some of my interests do change over time and I occasionally do want to try something new. Usually, however, I prefer to stick with the things I enjoy doing.
Like you, I prefer a set routine, especially at night. I do enjoy vacations, and I periodically enjoy seeing new places and something new. I went to my grandma's burial two years ago in Maine. The only issue with that trip was that I was going to state for soccer, and I did not want to miss it because we were flying non-rev. What I don't like is sudden change in routine without notice, though I can handle a very slow change in routine (keeps my life from being boring). However, eventually, I want thing to return to normal like my stepsister moving out again. I am the kind of person who I want to know well in advance so I can prepare for it (or avoid it), meaning no surprises (unless it is an exciting one).
My social skills to me is also very limited, and I only talk to people I know and feel comfortable with, meaning I know that person and that person treated me nicely (not lying, rude, mean, bossy or authoritarian). If a person treated me meanly or disrespects my autism (like my previous girlfriend I had in 2005), I generally cut contact with that person permanently. I have cut a large number of people out of my life for that reason, including some school classmates, some of my coworkers from my old job, most of the middle school teachers, step-family members from Australia after my dad got divorced (again), online spammers and trolls, and even a couple of guys from MLHH. If I ever meet up with those people again, I will have an extremely large personal bubble around those people, at least 30 feet (meaning once the person goes within 30 feet of me, I start feeling uncomfortable). And I rarely forgive when a person treats me wrong.
I have average motor skills (not great), and I was able to score a goal for the soccer games I went to this past spring (against an extremely difficult team). I play for Special Olympics (not to be confused with 4-year Olympics) which is a sports program for people with disabilities. I do enjoy playing sports with a team. Most of the time, I prefer to do things alone, though sometimes, I want somebody to guide me or give me help if necessary.
I don't have ADHD or hearing issues. In addition, I do recognize people's faces and hair relatively well. I have good hearing but I have far better vision and tactile recognition (I sometimes have a hard time processing what the person is trying to say to me).
The main issue I have about being an Aspie is sensory issues. For example, the sound of the TV being on (if someone else is watching it) in my house get very irritating to me, especially at night. It is when we have people over at my comfort zone that stay well into the evening that I have issues with, like people staying overnight. I currently have a stepsister that moved in my mom's house in January this year (it is seven months now), and this resulted in a large increase in chores (more dishes, more laundry, more garbage) for me to do, not to mention the huge personal bubble I have around her. In addition, she is a drama queen that is not autism-friendly, and these are the kind of people I can easily shut out of my life, if she was not living under our roof. However, because of financial strain, we had to have her move in till she got a job and saved up enough money (she does have a job now, but we have to catch up on bills before she can move out).
We can talk about this more. These are the issues I have being an Aspie. Sometimes, I even wish I am a completely different human being who is not an Aspie.
Matthew
Hi to Scott and Matthew:
Matt, my symptomatology is pretty well yours. Really, it's Scott's, but with a smaller "amplitude". I'll finish this off by saying (there goes my "wordiness") that I have almost no "from-scratch" intuition; I had to originally be taught *all* social skills by rote, since I had no inherent empathy for others especially those who seemed to me to have greater strengths than I in many aspects of life. I was confused about many expected job-related skills/knowledge, and lacked much ability to "figure things out for myself", such as when I was required to suddenly organize office furniture which would have to function for other workers, in addition to myself.
I eventually developed some foundational experience from which empathy could be slowly developed, but nothing "instinctive". Hence - thank goodness! - I never married, and never even had a romantic relationship, because I feared the social responsibility in case problems arose.
Yes, we really should get to a site on Aspergerism where we could discuss this further.
Hm... probably yes. Although most people can usually get along with me quite well.
While I don't have Aspergers, my ex-boyfriend did, and he used to have long hair as well. I was very disappointed when he cut it. He had beautiful blonde hair with natural waves to it. Without a doubt one of the best heads of hair I've ever seen. We've seen each other a few times since we broke up, and he's said he'd like to grow his hair again, but he doesn't have the patience.
There is a few things I want to say about this.
First of all, here's a question. Did you break up with him just because he cut his hair, or for a different reason? (Or did he break up with you?) I kind of feel bad for him either way.
Secondly, he can always buy and wear a wig if he is impatient with growing out his hair.
I assume that his long hair caused some sensory problems with him due to his autism and therefore he cut it.
Matthew
What connection between autism/asbergers and long hair are you trying to make?
Could it be, just maybe, that Matt is just looking for common people to feel more comfortable and supported (just as we all did in our journey to this board in the first place)? And that he's not trying to make any sort of connection with the post, seeing as no assertion of the like was present in the post to begin with?
No... That makes too much sense to be true
That is surely for him to reveal and not anyone else to guess?
On a related subject do you mind if ask how old your father was?
Apparently there is a new study tying the cases of Autism to the age of the father. This ground breaking study was released this
past week.
My dad was only 32 years of age when I was born. I don't consider that being old enough.
Matthew
------------------------------
My father was born April 14 1908, and I was born February 12 1953, making him 2 months and 2 days shy of age 45 on my birth date. At what point does the father's age become a factor in autism?
Scott
My understadning is they would have to do more studies to
find that out. For many years they've been trying
to figure out the cause of the increase in Autism. This is the
first study to link it to the age of the father.
*************************************************************
I'm not yet a long-hair, but I may be on the way - if I don't pass on first (I'm just over 70, and diagnosed as Type 2 Diabetic).
My very educated siblings, two of whom are retired nurses, suggested to me that they figured I was Aspergic, based on their knowledge of the subject. My check of Internet sources, and knowing myself fairly well, shows that I have about 98% of the characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome. Rather than become upset over the matter - at 70, and retired, how much longer do I have to worry about my career, - I'm fairly well taking it in stride, and more or less keeping a "mental eye" out for Alzheimer symptoms, which are of far greater importance to me, since with that disease, one can slowly become imprisoned in one's body with an increasingly "foggy" brain/mind , ultimately unable to do a thing for oneself, before one finally "croaks" quite nastily.
But, all of that should really be for another site, not the MLHH.
http://www.mlhh.org/archive/?264222
I posted this to see if there were other Aspie longhairs on MLHH (so I am not just the only Aspie on MLHH) and also that I am having some issues with my stepsister at home that is, let me phrase it, not autism-friendly.
Matthew
I was told by a therapist that I have aspergers when I was 13, but after doing my own research and talking to other people I'm fairly sure I don't. I avoid eye contact, I mumble, I think (often extensively) before I respond in a conversation, I use a lot of "likes" and "umms" when I talk to full the void where I'm thinking mid sentence, I prefer to work alone rather than with people, etc. All of these are what age brought up in her conclusion that I have aspergers.
I also over-empathize and am emotionally unstable in a lot of ways, which seems to be the opposite of what you and scott have said. I think if I has to classify myself it'd be a mix of bipolar, schizoid, and narcissism (although there is an equal admit of self hating). I'm not really sure what is going on inside my head, and my distaste for labeling these things stops me from actually going to someone to hear their opinion. I know I'm not "normal" by societal standards, but I can't really say for sure what I am.
I know this wasn't exactly on the topic of the thread, but I thought I'd adhere my story.
I read your posting, and I stated that I do have similar conditions that you do, though I am not bipolar, schizoid, or narcissism. I don't have any of those. I do better with eye contact (as long as the person is talking nicely to me), I try to minimize mumbling (though I do mumble and get tongue-tied if a person is being harsh towards me). I take time to think and search through my mind (I don't use "umms", instead, I use "flipping pages", "scanning" or "thinking" but I do use "likes"), but I generally finish the full sentence once I come up with one. I get emotional if people are harsh towards me, but I try to avoid those people and those situations to minimize it (in general by breaking contact with the offender).
In short, I have similar conditions that you have, though they are relatively mild.
Matthew
It's even in his profile in the directory. I haven't noticed him posting here lately, but he has posted some nice scenic photos on FB in the last couple of days. He posts on there in French (he's Canadian) but he speaks perfectly good English too.
Hello Everyone,
It's been a while I haven't posted here. I do have Asperger's Syndrome, and am diagnosed since 1995, and I am one of the first adults to get the diagnosis in Montreal.
Besides working as a computer tech, I also give talks in schools, and at autism conferences about how I deal with Asperger's Syndrome. To me, it is a victory of sorts for the cause of long hair, because, I speak in public, and get to keep my hair. Asperger's Syndrome, often encourages parents who are strict about certain societal norms, to lighten up, and to make it easy on their asperger's child. Often it means easing rules like haircut rules, while still enforcing curfews, and other safety rules.
I have seen other people cut their hair because, they have to do something in life, or to further their cause, even if it is environment. They they say, that now that they do something serious in life they have to look "serious" or "professional".
Have a nice day,
Georges in Montreal.
n/t
Hi MattM,
I have a lot of respect & admiration towards anyone who is open and unafraid to admit to whatever handicap or challenge that they might have in life, regardless of society's frown of disapproval and/or misunderstanding on the topic.
My older brother, who unfortunately died in 1983, might have had Asperger's -- I don't know for sure, though, because I don't even remember hearing that name (the name, "Asperger's") when I was growing up. But the symptoms that you and others have described sound very familiar to me.
If it helps any by me sharing the following: I have met Scott (Absalom) many times in-person, at several of our local longhair meet-ups. Yes, I noticed that he was a bit "different" the first time I met him; but honestly, I don't think about Scott in that way all that much anymore -- I'm just happy to see him whenever I do get to see him! He's an amazing guy, and has accomplished many things in life that I've never even dared to try!!
The worth of a person should never be judged by whatever a man "can't" do in life; but instead, by whatever he does in spite of his obstacles -- and also by the qualities of good character and ethics that he carries around with him in his heart.
My $.02, anyway!
- Ken