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Most people know or recongize me as a male, even strangers, though I do have slightly girly looks to some since I shave off all my facial hair daily and have a smooth face, and a few people thought of me as a "girl".
In June 2010, when I went to one of the churches, and I went into the men's room, one of the ladies (thinking I was a girl) knocked on the door to the restroom and told me that I was in the "wrong" restroom and should be in the "ladies" one instead.
Three months ago, when I was at the soccer state games for Special Olympics at Fort Lewis (it was an overnight event), when I went to the mess hall (as they call the dining halls in the military), and I am looking for an open seat at the table, one guy told me "Miss, miss, over here" as he was pointing me to an open seat. He said "Miss", not "Mr."
Just this morning, when I was standing outside with the other Special Olympics friends at the bowling ally waiting for it to open, one of the gals called or referred to me as a girl, till I told her otherwise.
Did you ever got referred to as "her", "girl", "miss", or other terms used for females while you wore your hair long?
Hi Matt,
Honestly I can't remember the last time I've been mistaken for a female but having facial hair would likely solve that problem.Maybe if I was clean shaven it could possibly happen in the right circumstances like if someone approached me from behind.I have a very thin build for a guy which could give people that impression of being a Miss.LOL.Anyway if it ever happened I'd be more amused than insulted.I'd love to see the look on their faces when they realize their error;)Have a great day Matt.Cheers
Mârk
Once - and the silly woman soon regretted her stupidity.
Never had the issue as I've been wearing facial hair since I was 18. I'm also a big guy standing at 6'4 with a large body frame, so it's never happened to me.
Yeah. I'm 6'-2". Even in the most carefully applied drag, most people wouldn't mistake me for a woman.
Hi Matt = i totally understand the 'feminizing' effect of long hair: ( especially very long hair + especially if it is blonde like mine ) - just being confident & ur love for being male shud transcend any doubt or insult to being female - mark has the best advice - shrug it off as amusing & quirky = as life oft. is ... I know my hair feminizes me = but I simply don't care = its how u wear it with confidence that matters ! = kind regards CEM. (◡‿◡✿)
Sure. Not very often, and never from the front (even if I shaved completely). But...trim build, long pretty hair/neat bun, and a tendency to wear clothes that flatter my figure/non-stereotypical colors...I get Miss or Ma'am from time to time. Usually the person saying it is far, far more upset/embarrassed about it than I am. It doesn't really bother me, even when used as an insult (that gives me an opportunity for a "teaching moment"[1]).
Very often, people don't really pay attention...they see a couple markers and assume a whole bunch of stuff, and never really look again to check. *shrug* If my face had more of my mom's family's look and I shaved, I'm sure I would get called ma'am to my face regularly...as it is, I'll take the compliment of having hair well kept enough to be seen as a woman.
[1] Ha! The last time, some young midwestern tourist decided he needed to be that kind of insulting to my face (hair was down and flowing)...when I said 'Mmhmm, my girlfriend would be fine with that!' the look on his face was priceless, and he scuttled away with his ?girlfriend?.
Several times i've been shopping at the local grocery store and
someone looking at me from behind will see the long hair and
say "ma'am." When I turn around they realize eheir mistake when
they see my mustache. You'd think my hair legs would be a dead
giveaway too, but apparently not.
It's probably understandable becuase i'm not a large guy (5'8"),
i've got long hair, and most of the time i'm wearing cut off shorts.
It doesn't bother me though, the person making the mistake is
more embarrassed than I am. Even with this confusion I still
prefer to have my hair long.
As i've mentioned before though my hair is longer than most
of the women who you see around here now.
On the above messege I also should mention all the grey
hair I have should also be a dead giveaway, but apparently
it isn't. Go figure.
I wear all that grey hair proudly where a woman would
have eliminated it years ago at the first sight of grey hair.
Most of the time I wear it loose.
Ha ha, that's so funny as its just been a full year now since I've been coloring my hair with henna which eliminates all the gray that I had.I know for a fact my darkened,red hair makes me look younger and I admit liking that fact.I can say a year later I've never regretted the change and look forward to the touch ups as its actually kind of relaxing during the process:)I'm due for another redo next weekend.Cheers
Mârk
Now I on the other celebrate every single strand of grey that
God gave me. I earned ever single one of them and fully
intend to keep every single one of the completely grey
and long (back to waist length.)
I fully accept what you are saying and what you desire.It's just a matter of personal preference and I just prefer using a natural plant to alter my hair color.Believe me I would never put a chemical dye in my hair ever.In my eyes the henna produces a beautiful color that I'm proud to have my hair show off:)My beard has all the gray I desire but I henna that too.Sadly it doesn't last long due to trimming.
Mârk
Not in a very long time. However, back in the late 60s/early 70s, as my hair was then quite long and growing. several times, at gas stations. (When they still had full service) I had the attendant come and ask "Fill it up, Miss, or Ma'am" Then I would turn toward them and the Moustache would prove their error. Some stammering usually followed as they offered an apology. Maybe it was the car. A burgundy '68 Cougar with wire wheel covers. I can not think of any other honest mistakes. But I did get the usual "cat calls" of the day from various troglodytes, on the rare occasion.
Hey Matt,
Yes, I've had the experience of being called "Miss" a couple of times. Once, when I was sitting at a table in a restaurant and the waitperson approached me from behind and had not paid much attention to my face she said, '. . . and you, Maame?'. There was another time when a woman was looking at me head on but we were about thirty (30) feet apart from each other she called me "Miss". Like you, I do not choose to wear any facial hair. At first, I was a little put off by being refered to as a female as I do strongly appreciate that I am a member of the male gender. However, I realized that my hair is getting longer and some people will mistake me for being female because of my hair. It's a little bit "quirky" but it is a tribute to my being a long hair.
Peace, bro!
Raymond
Hi(gh)!
I can remember only one instance, by a small child of about 4 years ("Mom, look, a woman with a beard!") - with people of a reasonable age, my burly stature and mostly massive beard prevent me from this.
See you in Khyberspace!
Yadgar
I get it all the time from the rear,restaurants,grocery store,when I worked retail in my younger days,etc. It shocks you the first few times but after awhile you get used to it,lol.
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I can see why that happens to you. Your hair is gorgeous, and really well cared for. I would love to see the surprised looks on the faces of those who made that mistake right after you turn around. HEIGHT can be a factor. If you are over 6 feet tall, being mistaken for a girl is MUCH less likely.
Scott
Thanks.I am 6 feet & 400lbs., more like the "Bearded Lady" at the Circus,lol.
Sometimes, when I say that I am going to be applying to Boston area colleges, they say, "Good luck at Wellesley."
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For me, only once. It happened when seen from the back and from the waist up. I had just a goatee at that time I think it was in the late 90s and a goatee can't be seen from behind. (A counter was blocking the view of my hips which are way too narrow to mistake me for female.) My current bushy beard can be seen from the back so the being mistaken for a female issue is now non existent.
Scott
I'm incapable of growing decent facial hair, most likely due to my herritage, but I've never been mistaken for a female. The fact that I'm 6 feet tall and almost 300 pounds (that's 1.8 meters and 21 stones for you metric people) probably helps, but depending on the situation, I wouldn't take offense unless it's an intentional insult. If it's an honest mistake, most people would feel mortified by making such a mistake, so I would just smile and shrug it off.
I'm surprised to hear that you were mistaken for a female, Matt. If memory serves, aren't somewhere around 6-1/2 feet tall? At any rate, unless it was meant as an intentional insult, you'd might as well accept is a compliment on the excellent condition of your outstanding mane! :)
Cheers,
Val
Even when I had very short hair during the 1990s I used to be mistaken for a woman.
So it clearly involves more than just the hair. I'm Asian and I don't have much facial or body hair. I'm 5'6" tall. Also, my shoulder to hip ratio is small. My jaw is rounded, not square, my chin is narrow and my Adam's apple is not particularly prominent (it's very high up, so you won't see it if you're taller than me and head is tilted slightly down). My skin is smooth and my shoulders are narrow.
I started to lift weights in 1999, and that reduced the gender confusion somewhat. But men used to wear very long shorts in the 1990s, and I wore short shorts, so even with pecs, biceps, deltoids and muscular legs and really short hair, many people still thought I was a girl.
So when I started to grow my hair long in 2006, I wasn't sure what would happen. There was an increase of "ma'am"s and "Ms"s, but not nearly as much as I expected. The surprising thing to me is how many people actually get my gender correct.
The only other time in my life when I had long hair was during college in the mid 1980s in the rural Midwest. At its maximum, my hair was about shoulder length. I don't remember my hair making much of a difference to the way people perceived my gender when in college. Looking through my 1984 college yearbook, you can see why. About 15% of the guys had even longer hair than I did. Our campus definitely had a granola vibe, so everyone was used to the sight of long-haired guys (and hairy-legged women) in cut-off jeans and sandals.
Anyway, my past experience shows that there's more to the way people make judgements about gender than just hair length.
Much of the time i wear short shorts, but I still very
rarely get mistaken for a woman. Maybe three times in the
last year. And only from the back. Having a moustache helps, but i'm only 5'9" 165 pounds, and having hairy legs helps too.
Also for many years I also had a full beard. (I don't have the
beard now but did in the 80s.)