new thread
hi all!....scott from nottingham, uk here again!.....after yet another shaved head mis-hap I am back for the third time......and hopefully the last...in an attempt to grow my hair to a length considered "long".
What i have lacked in judgement re: haircuts in the last year i will now overcome with stubbornness and willpower!
i'll post a photo when I have more to display...I have approx 3 months growth on top and 2 months on the sides and back!
Cheers all
Hi Scott,
Welcome back! I recall you cutting your hair once some time ago but sounds like you did a repeat performance!lol.Funny how some guys are like that as I've never had that urge to cut my hair for a second.In fact I don't even have it trimmed anymore as I just leave it be and only color it with henna periodically.Well hopefully this time is a keeper as otherwise maybe you just prefer short hair which some guys just like.Cheers and good luck to you.
Mârk
cheers Mark!
I really am struggling with the jump to long hair here in nottingham.....but i love it with longer hair...i really think this could be my time......:)
aww :( I really think you look better w/ longer hair.
Cheers buddy...i thought so too.....a lesson learned hopefully! :)
Good on you for giving it another go. I was not around before, so I'm not aware of what your hair-type is. Some types (like tight curls) take a looooong time before they "look" long
-TBG
i have totally straight hair....and I should know better!
Alas, it can get frustrating. I've been active on dreadlock forums for several years, and there's even more issues in dealing with things patiently.
Finding a good way to keep your hair is an ongoing process, particularly at the beginning of growing it out. Try many different ways (scarf, hair-ties, baggy-hat, slicked back, etc) and just accepting that what works best *now* will change over time.
Have fun!
-TBG
cheers dude...sound advice...i'll invest in a few hats! :-)
Hi Rabbit,
Occasionally I've met people who have had a long personal history of only knowing super-short hairstyles on themselves. They think about long hair, they really want to have long hair on themselves; but the experience of growing it out and going through all of the strange and weird-looking in-between "awkward stage" lengths just seem like a constant ugly uphill battle...
Especially in this kind of situation, for any guy who can relate to the above paragraph, the slow realization that it will take somewhere between 2-3 years in order to achieve a decent-looking ponytail length is bound to feel very depressing and discouraging at times.
Then consider a new approach:
Look around for photos of guys who have more moderate-length hair -- and then set yourself a goal of trying to achieve that length, first.
It's important to pick out a hairstyle and hair-length that is realistically attainable for you under your current situation, and to make it not as overwhelming of a commitment that you'll be as easily tempted to cave in about it. Modest goals often bring out a happier story of success than any far-off "pie-in-the-sky" lofty goals might ever achieve for us, "average Joe" types. You'll never make it to butt-length anyway, for example, if you're unable to first make it to touching the top of your shoulders!
As a parallel:
I want to lose some more weight and get more fit & trim; but at age 59, if I constantly compare myself to an Olympic athlete who's in their teens or 20s, frustrated that I can't have such an awesome body as they have by next week, then you can see that I'm setting myself up for guaranteed failure!
... And so it is similarly with growing out one's hair: a modest goal for now, approached "one step at a time", will not only at least get you going in the right direction; but will also prove to be far less torturous of an ordeal -- and a heck of a lot more fun!
Good luck!
- Ken in San Francisco
Hi Ken
you are spot on with your analysis, I tend to see the goal rather than the journey, and this makes the time in-between a little depressing, I intend to take things in steps now, my first goal being able to feel my hair move in the Autumn wind, then after christmas I shall adjust my goals.
Great to hear from you dude!
Scott
Hi again Scott,
So glad you found my comments helpful!
I think it's safe to say that the vast majority of hair-farming advise you'll probably read here at MLHH is to just let it grow with no trims along the way. This is fine for 2nd time growers or those people who don't mind the ever-changing "surprise" factor during the 2-plus years of enduring in-between stages; but for many first-time growers, the no trim approach can bring on so much frustration that it eventually results in just giving up on long hair altogether.
My first time growing out my own hair, for example, started for me in the early '90s when I neither had any computer at home nor had ever heard of any Men's Long Hair Hyperboard (probably because it didn't exist yet - LOL). I had succeeded at having long-ISH hair when I was in my 20s and early 30s, trying out various "medium-length" styles; but my deep yearning to someday have hair long enough to tie back into a ponytail remained elusive and unattainable until I reached my later 30s. My first time ever ponytail didn't actually occur for me until my 40th birthday!
Truth be told, all during the '90s, both before achieving ponytail-length as well as after, I had my hair trimmed and professionally re-styled several times -- and I do mean many MANY times!!! But for me, that was all part of the fun of exploring this new experience of finally having some longer hair to work with.
By the time 1999 and Y2K approached, my hair had grown to waist-length -- the longer it got, the more I seemed to love it! But then in June of 2000, I impulsively made the mistake of cutting off all that hair back to typical guy length short... and the rest is history!
Growing my hair back after that fateful Y2K haircut was a very different experience my 2nd time around: trims were absolutely minimal (and mainly for the purpose of just removing split ends, although occasionally I also included a request for a slight re-shaping / re-styling touch-up). But my hair goals were crystal-clear by then, because I had learned from my prior first-hand experiences that I wanted my long hair back again...
Everybody is different. What works like a dream for one person doesn't always work so well for another -- hence my reason for sharing the above experience of my own hair growth journey.
Happy hair-farming!
- Ken
In my own case, I had short hair three years ago and just decided to grow it a bit longer - not even shoulder-length. I wanted a layered style just over my ears and a long fringe in front (sorta emo-ish but a bit more adult!). That was my goal. I had absolutely no intention of growing it REALLY long.
My opinion only changed as it grew. I discovered that I kinda liked the way it was growing and left it alone instead of getting it trimmed and layered. Plus I discovered that my hair was wavy (I'd always thought it was dead straight until it began to grow longer) and I knew a little extra length would give it more weight and make it less unruly.
So I let it grow and it's now down below my collarbones. I love it but it was not my original intention. And hey, if I ever get bored with it I can always get it trimmed and styled the way I originally intended. I couldn't do that if I'd left it short!
Thinking about it, my long hair just "happened". I never planned it this way. But I do know one thing: I never ever want really short hair again.
Take one step at a time, Scott, and simply see how it goes. As Ken said, it's not a question of one extreme or the other. Aim for something in between to begin with.
Damon
-----------------------------------
As I was getting to my original goal, a high ponytail, I found it easiest to concentrate on other things that grow; goatee, beard, one fingernail
And just settle into a routine. Paying less concentration to the hair actually helped me to be a better critical thinker and have better conversations when my hair came up in conversation.
I also spent very little time looking at peoples hair that had reached my next length goal.
Actually breaking it down into little goals helped too.
Once it got to a bit past 12 inches, I was set. As the years went by after the first 2 there was practically no anxiety or impatience.
When it reached waist length however, some of that anxiety started setting back in as it was approaching lengths most girls didn't have, thus leading to more attention and odd comments that made me more alert once again.
As I settled to the fact that I still had goals and realized the efforts I had already taken. That pushed on further.
I've found as I'm into the more extream lengths that people offer nearly always encouragement, and that helps.
One little bit of advice is to do regular trimming and drink plenty of water. Smooth ends and hair keeps you feeling confident especially in those early years about what you are doing.
This is a good point of view on the subject, jp. Indeed, I feel better when I don't think or stress about my hair, and the length it has or could have. Awesome photo by the way !
Vivien.
Couple pieces of advice. Don't let people influence your decisions. Second use a two weeks rule, basically when you feel like cutting your hair because its crazy/knotty/who knows.. whatever reason set that feeling aside and even date it on a calendar, then come back to it after two weeks.. do you feel the same?
Other then that good luck.. I am at a year and a half this month and i will tell you this.. regardless of the hair you have its not worse then mine.. and im not kidding. I get knots/crazy friz and so on.. But i will tell you as it gets longer i gain control of it due to the weight and being able to finally almost tie all my hair back is a very gratifying feeling..
Get a good detangler condition if you have curly hair and do it up!
thanks Matt...i'm lucky that my hair is dead straight...although can get a little dry but genrally very easy to manage....the calendar option is a good idea to spot my triggers and i'll give this a whirl.
Cheers Matt
scott
Hi rabbit,
I hope you can grow your hair long this time. I did the same thing you did. I cut off almost 3 years growth and regretted it immediately. just think of all the money you will save not getting haircuts! I wish you success on this attempt.
Take care, Ted
thanks Ted....3 years growth?...that must have been horrible once you realised you made a mistake.
Here's to a scissor-free future for both of us!
Scott