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My girlfriend has been nagging me for months to trim my hair so I look more presentable for a job interview. I procrastinated as I really loved my hair but I have my first interview tomorrow so I panicked. Big mistake!
I agreed it was getting a bit wild and finally agreed for her to "tidy it up a bit" on Saturday. She loved my long hair (one of the reasons we hooked up in the first place) and we both decided to cut only a tiny bit off. My g/friend is NOT a hairdresser but we felt she could manage a tiny trim.
But ... things went horribly wrong! After cutting a bit too much off on one side, the other side had to be cut to match. Then my g/f loved the effect of "layering" and got carried away. I told her to stop but it was too late.
End result ... my hair ended up only just covering my ears at the sides and only just below my collar at the back.
I was in shock and my g/f was in tears. I feel almost literally traumatised. That may sound melodramatic but my hair was part of me, part of who I am, and I now feel mentally naked. All my self-confidence has vanished with my hair.
Instead of the joy of feeling the weight of my hair against my ears and neck, all I can feel now against my ears are thin little wisps.
My g/f, trying to make the best of a bad job, says she quite likes the "new look". What she doesn't appreciate is that it is NOT a new look for me; I've already been through this stage over two and a half years ago (before I met her). It's called the "awkward stage"! Nothing "new" about it. I hated it then and I hate it even more now. At least it was an exciting novelty the first time round; now it's just a sickening reminder of how stupid I was.
So two and a half years down the toilet. Two and a half years to grow, only ten minutes to chop it off.
I don't blame my g/f, I blame myself. I was stupid. I look on the bright side: at least it's still "longish" (covering my ears) and not totally short, and it's already growing back even as I type (half an inch a month). But I wish it would grow a lot faster!
Damon - still in shock! :(
Wow Damon, what a sad state of affairs as I can't even imagine how I'd feel if a similar thing happened.At least you won't have to worry about your hair being an issue during a future interview but what a way to loose it:( This should be a lesson to all longhaired guys that if you want to trim either do it yourself or have it done by a professional who is trustworthy.No offense to your gf but she should have declined doing it knowing she isn't a hair stylist.Some people go that route to save a buck but as you now know it wasn't worth the risk.Thankfully you can regrow but the setback is frustrating.I'm glad to have stopped getting trims altogether.Much safer that way:)Keep the faith my friend.Cheers
Mârk
I agree with Mark. When I had my wife trim my hair from its ratty, shoulder blade length to a neat shoulder length, we both agreed immediately that it needed professional finishing. A few tens of dollars is worth it.
You guys are dead right. I will need another trim at some point to tidy up the mess and it will most definitely be by a professional next time. There is a hairdresser in this town who specialises in long hair for dudes. I should've gone to him in the first place of course but I kept putting it off and with an interview coming up and no longer enough time for an appointment, I panicked. Never again!!!
But I'll leave the next trim for the distant future. I want my hair to grow a bit first - and frankly I couldn't bear the thought of any scissors at all, not even professional ones, anywhere near my hair for a loooonnng time. At the moment, even the mere sight of scissors brings me out in a panic attack!
Damon
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So sorry to hear about your traumatic experience, Damon. I did a similar thing myself back in Y2K, when I impulsively asked a hairstylist friend of mine to cut off my then waist-length hair... Needless to say, June 21st, 2000, is not a very happy memory day for me (an UNDERSTATEMENT)!
The good news is: your hair is growing, even as you read this!
I can also totally agree with your comment about having to go to a professional for a "repair job" eventually -- I did the same thing myself, following up on a friend's suggestion to do so, a long-haired female friend who understood that I was traumatized by what I had done to myself; so I went to her hair stylist who specialized in long hair (for both women and men) -- very VERY expensive (it was $65 US dollars at that time, not including tip!!); but worth every penny.
Mentally / emotionally, going to a first-rate professional helped me "move on", so-to-speak, because it helped erase the bad memory of the haircut that traumatized me. Sounds weird, I know; but the expensive trim afterwards was so totally different in experience and outcome (the stylist took off such a small amount, that it was really more of a "dusting"), I felt like I was being completely pampered instead of butchered...
Please keep us posted! Please don't think it abnormal to more or less feel you are in grieving over your sudden hair loss. That's exactly how I felt when I realized how much I deeply regretted my own impulsive haircut back in Y2K. Eventually I got over it, but don't be surprised if it takes awhile.
Just realize that life is full of these odd-ball hard "lessons" in life... I learned a lot of valuable things from my own stupid Y2K haircut decision, lessons that I now greatly treasure -- AND of course, my hair grew back (even longer than ever now, thanks to the "School of Hard Knocks" teaching me to make a commitment to long hair for life, and to never impulsively cut again)...
My best to you!!
- Ken
Thanks for your commiserations, Ken. I recall you mentioning your Y2K horror before and so I suspect it still haunts you. It really is a trauma. I don't think the average person appreciates just how much some of us love our hair. I guess it seems petty to them - it's only hair - but to us it is so much a part of who we are. Strip it away and we are no longer "whole".
For me it's almost the final straw. Last year I split with my partner, then I lost my car, then my house, my money and possessions. I was left homeless and penniless but thankful that at least I still had my job, my hair and my health. Then this year I lost my job - and now I've lost most of my hair. I'm just praying I keep my health!
So my hair was kind of symbolic - one of few things that had actually improved over the last year or so instead of going sour like everything else.
How short was your haircut in 2000? Mine still just covers my ears but I get the feeling that your hair was cut really short?
Damon
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Hi again Damon,
I used to have an old photo from August of Y2k (my haircut being in June of that year, so about 6 weeks after some growth had returned); but that was on my old computer, which I lost everything I had in my iphoto library...
Quite possibly the pic is here in MLHH's archives, since I remember posting that pic more than once way back in '04, '05, or whenever.
If I don't find it, here's a description: eyebrow length in front (YUK!!), just touching the ears, ever so slightly covering only the tops of them (another YUK!!), and then an inch or so of length at the neck (a third "YUK!!!!") -- the top was left long, though (kind of like a "wedge" style).
The repair haircut ended up looking very good, actually -- it especially ended up being a good style for growing it back out, needing only minor trims approximately once a year until '04.
You'll get through this, Damon, just reassure yourself that your hair is indeed growing back, even as you read this reply!!
"Onward & Downward!"
- Ken
Here's that pic I was just talking about, taken in August of 2000, approximately 6 or 7 weeks after my devastating June haircut of that year. Apologies for having to look at an ex-b/f; but this being the only pic I have of what that haircut looked like (at least the only pic I have on my computer -- I don't own a scanner, and I'm not even sure where my old photos are, anyway - LOL)....
I hope this pic helps to reassure you that you aren't the only longhaired guy whoever made such a silly haircut mistake!
"Onward & Downward!"
- Ken (thankfully over 12 years ago now since that disastrous haircut - LOL)
Tnx for searching out the pic, Ken. Actually, your hair didn't look TOO bad. It was a little bit shorter than mine is now (and I agree with your three "Yucks" :) but at least it was very full and lots left on top - a great start for re-growing.
Yeah, it must have been horrible at the time but you're right: you have to be positive and realise the hair is already growing back. My own hair already looks a bit better even after only a week. Maybe it's just wishful thinking but - in my mind at least ;) - it seems to have already begun the slow road to recovery!
Everyone keeps telling me how much younger I look. Hmmm, not sure if that's a good thing. Whatever, I know that I get really jealous when I see another dude with hair the same length as mine was before last Saturday.
Damon
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Damon;
I sure hope you got the job...???
Good question!
Actually, it was more of an assessment day - weeding out the candidates to see which ones would make it thru to the interview stage. I was one of the small number who passed! The actual interview is tomorrow. ;)
They gave us successful candidates a quick tour round the offices and I noticed that one or two of the guys working there had long hair!!! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
I should have known of course. Long hair on dudes has been "all the rage" and has become incredibly common in England over the past year or so.
But hey, what's done is done. At least I'll know I can grow my hair back if I do get the job. :)
Damon
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Hi Damon,
Sorry for the late reply. I can kind of understand your situation. Back in 2011 I cut off 14 inches because I thought I wanted short hair again. Boy did I think wrong! Now here I am since August 2012 trying to grow it again. I went to the salon to get only the very front trimmed into a fringe. I let the girl talk me into layering the back! Grr! My wife tried to tell me that it won't grow unless you stay away from the salon!
However, i was happy to read in your other post the good news about your job. I hope you are able to grow your hair like the guys you saw working there. And yes, your hair will certainly grow back. Please keep us updated on your job situation.
Take care, Ted
It sounds like your girlfriend regrets what happened just as much as you. You have my compliments for not blaming or taking out your frustration on her.
Thanks for your comments, Ted and Michael.
Yeah, Ted. It's that dreaded compulsion to "layer" that really slaughtered my long hair. I guess it may work if you have really thick hair but mine is quite fine and layering it just robbed it of any body. It ended up not only much shorter but what was left was also limp and lifeless.
Of course, the fact that it was freshly and thoroughly shampooed for my trim didn't help its appearance either. It has recovered quite a lot of body after not shampooing it for a week (I merely wash it without shampoo or use only a very tiny bit). The natural oil has now replenished itself.
I still haven't heard if I got the job or not. After the interview, I found out that a condition is that the employee must have a perfect credit rating (the job is for a credit agency so that would be a conflict of interest?). My house was repossessed last year - so that would not be good!
But hey, at least the interview gave me some experience and confidence, and there are other jobs I've applied for that don't have that condition. So I'm keeping a positive attitude.
Damon