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Hello forum,
As you can probably tell, it has happened, the scissors came down and took with them my hair, well, most of it.
I'm posting to show you the unfortunate choice I had to make and some much needed advice, as well as thanking you all.
Firstly, I wasn't expecting the sheer amount of support and appreciation for my hair, and the situation I was put in; for that, I thank you all, it truly was uplifting, to say the least.
Honestly though, I feel awful that I cut my hair and shaved my beard (not so much the beard, it grows fast); it goes against my principles to do something that I'm not convinced of, but, I'm not going to lose heart.
Truth be told, I had no idea how to take care of long hair, and I think the pictures looked better than the reality in my case. I had a lot of split ends, almost layered hair (I didn't layer it, it just grew that way) and the crazy amount of smaller torn hairs that stood up with frizzy hairs all over my head.
This has now given me a chance to (hopefully) do it all over again, and I want to do it properly this time.
With my hair being this thick and wavy (even coarse), what are the best ways to maintain it? What should I do on a weekly bases, and how do I style it (and with what) when needed?
This way, I won't have all those split ends and torn frizzy hairs again.
Thank you all again.
Hi Duff,
I am not sure from your post whether you are going to be able to grow your hair long. But, if you are going to grow it out again, I will tell you what I do with my hair. My hair is also wavy and can be unruly at times. I wash my hair with shampoo and then condition 2 times per week. The other days I either use conditioner only or water only. No matter what method I wash my hair with, I always rinse my hair under the coldest water I can handle. When I put conditioner in my hair I always comb it through in both directions. That is from front to back and back to front.
When I get out of the shower, I only pat my hair lightly with a towel. Then I comb my hair with a wide tooth comb very frequently while my hair is drying. I have found that this has made such a difference in the softness and manageability of my hair. I have no tangles or rough feeling hair anymore. Just today I used some Moroccan Argan oil on my hair which made it even softer. I don't really like oils and stuff in my hair, but that oil is something else. So, there you have my routine. I surely hope you are able to grow your hair out again. Also, your beard is something to admire. Take care of yourself and please keep us updated. Have a good evening my friend!
Ted
Gonna' butt inn here and say I am glad you tried and liked that argan oil so far, Ted! It's the next great thing here in Europe it seems, with every single hair salon commercial advertising and focusing on "the next miracle in hair treatment".
My girl swears by it (and she has heavily bleached and chemically treated looong locks) and I am really happy with the smooth, sort feeling it gives my own hair as well! :) keep posting on your experience with it as the time goes by.
Hello again Duffster! :)
First off, let me give you some perspective that might be of consolation to you- even after having cut your locks, you still have more hair on your head than me, who has starting growing my hair out back in November... So hey, be glad your hair has as much volume as it does, even if sometime it surely feels it's got a life of it's own ;)
While I am sure the true longhairs of this wonderful forum will have more concrete tips for you, I can tell you about my routines with my hair, being rather thick and full of volume just as yours, and pretty much at the same stage in growing.
1. I am deliberately trying to use less hairgel and paste, and such other short hair styling products as a whole. In the past I have abused my short hair with both a ton of product as well as bleaching while short, and eventhough it gave some interesting results in the color palette when long, it sure was not healthy hair, so this time it's as product free as I can manage.
2. I am washing it with shapoo + conditioner 3 times a week, and with only conditioner another 1-2 times, depending on how oily my hair feels. I always rinse the conditioner with as cold water as I can manage, and I am still testing to see whether this medhold helps in subduing some of that crazy volume.
3. After each shower I am rubbing Morroccan Oil (Argan oil) into my scalp, which leases me with visibly shinier and smoother feeling hair.
4. I am already using a beanie 90% of the time to sort of pre-remedy the awkward stage, and to help prevent myself from using all that gel to spike it as usual. I am already known as the beanie man at my kindergarten, which is find by me, seeing as I've probably got another 10-12 months or so before I can make a ponytail ;)
That's my routine at least, buddy. Hope you keep on growing from here on, and that your boss at that new jobb won't give you any hard time about it :)
Hiya, Duff,
You're probably not going to like what I have to say, but I think you'd have been better off not cutting your hair to begin with.
First of all, you're just prolonging the time it will take to reach your desired length, and secondly it's easier to protect your hair as it grows longer, because you can tie it back, plait it or whatever.
What you should have done was to either put up with the split ends, or take them out individually. You should also have used a good hair oil - personally, I use jojoba, but I've also used coconut oil with good results. These help to retain moisture in the hair, and it's best to use them on wet/damp hair.
Oh, and the "crazy amount of smaller torn hairs that stood up with frizzy hairs all over my head" are not torn or broken. They are the new hair growing through, and whatever you do, you'll still have those, so you'd better get used to them.
What to do from now on?
Well, first of all take care of your hair. Don't use harsh chemicals on it, don't straighten it and try to protect it as much as possible, because the hair growing now will be the ends of your long hair. If you want to grow hair that's longer than mid-back, start your routine now. Find a shampoo that suits your hair. Always use plenty of conditioner. Apply a light oil every time you wash your hair. If you can, every now and then, coat it with oil and leave it on overnight before washing it out.
Split ends are part and parcel of having long hair, so don't get too stressed if you find you have some. Snip out the individual hairs rather than chopping an inch or two off all over. Your hair will never all be one length unless you shave it off, and even then, within days, there will be differences. You'll have variations in growth rates of individual hairs and they also go through cycles of growth, dormancy and shedding which is why we don't shed it all at the same time.
In summary: look after your hair and don't get stressed if it doesn't look "perfect". Just the same as pot plants, sometimes benign neglect is the best way to take care of it.
Good luck with your journey.
Viking
I should have mentioned my previous post, prior to posting this one: http://www.mlhh.org/messages/298208.html
Basically, cutting the hair was not because of split-ends or differences in length, it was a life situation that has unfortunately happened. I think I mentioned all that to feel a little better more than anything loool
Anyway, thank you for your response, I'll be sure to try the oil and other tips mentioned.
Thank you.
Sorry if I came across a bit harsh in my previous post. A lot of haircare is common sense, and the thing to bear in mind is that everyone is different, and what works for some might not work for others. Experiment and try different routines to find out what suits your lifestyle and your hair best.
When it comes to getting through the awkward stage, hats and gels/waxes are your friends. If you do use gel, try to find one that isn't too harsh. I've also seen guys using hair bands too, and others with cornrows and braids.
Protecting your hair and taking good care of it doesn't make it grow any faster; it just limits the damage, which means you don't lose as much off the ends. I've got fine, blond hair, but over the last seven years or so, I've been able to grow it to mid-thigh, and it's still getting longer. One of these days, I hope to catch up with Absalom and Trolleypup.
Good luck!