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I've had long hair for a long time now but today was the first time ever that I've been called a lady. My wife and I were out for dinner and sitting opposite each other in a small booth. The waitress came to our table from behind me and as she walked by she said, "I'll be right with you ladies". I looked up and instantly she apologized.
It just so happens that I shaved my beard completely off today. It's just so hot that I thought I'd go for a few days without any facial hair. That may have been the factor.
My hair was braided. I actually took it as a compliment.
Hi Jason,
Yea I bet the shaved beard is what caused the confusion in your case.I kind of thought about shaving mine off on occasion not because of the summer heat but the fact I've had one for years!Frankly I can't even remember the last time I was totally clean shaven.So should I go that route I'm sure it would be a matter of time before I got the same greeting.LOL.Oh and like you, I wouldn't be offended at all as it would seem kinda funny to me:) Cheers my friend.
Mârk
In reality you arrived a long time ago.
Hey Jason - That's awesome!
I have driven city buses for RTD Denver for the past year and I have been called: "Ma'am", "Miss", "Lady", "Sweetheart", and more...
My hair is now about 3 1/2 below my shoulders and I sometimes have facial hair and sometimes not.
I always take the above names as a compliment!
John in Denver
It was early in my journey when I was "Mame'd" for the first time. My mustache and goatee started that day ! Ha
Congratulations, and thanks for sharing your "milestone"
Walter
whoops
Ha ha Walter, that's quite a Freudian slip but funny just the same.
I didn't even realize until you mentioned it ;) Have a great weekend
my friend.Cheers
Mârk
Hi Jason,
I really enjoyed reading this story! That's neat that you just take it in stride and don't let it bother you. I bet her face turned red with embarrassment! Guess you're going to grow the beard back! I know what you mean by it being hot. It has been in triple digits down here in Texas lately. I sure can't wait until people start mistaking me for a lady! It will probably happen often since I don't want to grow a beard and mustache. I couldn't grow a decent beard and mustache if I wanted to anyway!
I hope you all are having a great weekend my friend! You all please stay well!
Ted
I've had that happen to me a few times. It usually only happens
two or three times a year. it also doesn't help that i'm slight
in build, only about 5'8", and always wear cut off shorts.
They always end up apologizing when they see me from the front
when they see that i'm male. I also have a moustache and for
many years I had a beard too.
I take it as a compliment about my long hair.
BTW, the other dead giveaway that i'm male is all the grey hair I have. Women would have gotten rid of the grey hair at their
first sign of grey.
It's happened to me before too, Jason. I turn around and say "yes sir?". LOL.
Hi Jason,
Thank you for sharing your story, and in my opinion, you have always "arrived", being a true long hair at heart in every sense of the word.
It has been years(I have had a beard since early 2007), since I have been beardless, and it would be "interesting" to see what I would look like now without a beard.
Take care,
David
Nice one, fantastic!
Duncan
You go girl! Great story, Jason.
Atta' girl, Jason!
Great story! :D
Very funny story hahaha . This happens to me all the time even when they look at me from the front.
I don't let my beard grow basically because it does not grow even from both sides so it looks like a mess, so I always try to get my face shaved.
I am not very tall, slim body, and my hair isn't that long ( shoulder lenght, but not passed shoulder - or probably almost there!) so I can't imagine what the confussion will be once my hair grows longer.
I have been called 'lady' in restaurants, been confused for a girl in nightclubs, even during day time and people standing in front of me . I don't take it as an insult, it just makes me laugh.
What's so funny about this, is how our society and culture is. Since we were kids in kindergarten we were able to distinguish boys and girls from the lenght of their hair.
That's because something the society commands.
My mom's hair has been short for a long time already and when I was a little kid I thought that my mom was a man dressed in women clothing because she had short hair hahahaha I was just a 5 year old !!!
What I always mention is when I go anywhere around this part
of New York 95+% of women have that is shorter than mine.
Even when I got to stuff for the Civil War group my hair is longer than all the women the Allied Orders. Even at the last two national encampemnts my hair was longer than every woman in
the Allied Orders.
And where I work my hair ls longer than every woman who works there.
Welcome to 2013.
So today someone told me on Facebook that since I started to grow my hair I look like a shemale (WTF?)
This person suggested that I should cut my hair so that I can look like a man.
I told this person that everyone does whatever they feel with their hair and I will keep on growing it out because I don't do it for others to like it, I do it for myself.
Also, shemales are men who dress like women. I don't dress like a women, I wear men clothing. I just wear my hair long. Calling me a shemale because of that, does not make any sense to me.
It's 2013 and people are still so closed-minded! Wow!
Hi Dave,
These idiots don't even deserve a response. I had a former co-worker tell me to get a haircut on my Facebook page. I told him "why, so I can look like you?" Then I promptly blocked him. The strange thing is he used to have long hair. I just don't have much time in my life for intolerant people. My parents raised my brother and I to be tolerant and very open mided. So I don't take too kindly for such nonsense.
Unfortunately it will probably be the same forever. I keep hoping people will change. But that's okay because I don't have to associate with these ignorant people.
You look great with your hair long! And I really hope you don't ever cut it for someone else! Hope your week goes great and please stay well my friend!
Ted
Sometimes I just think these people are jealous. I really do. Most of the time , guys who tell me to cut off my hair are guys that are bald or have really bad hair . It's not that I think my hair is gorgeous, but sometimes I think they say those things because they'd like to be longhaireds and they can't.
I dont know. Telling someone to cut off their hair with no good reason makes no sense to me. That is like telling someone what kind of clothing they should wear or which TV program they have to watch.
Totally nonsense!!
And no, I will never cut my hair just because someone tells me so. In fact, I have always wanted to grow out my hair but always failed. Right now, after I have been through the "hard" part of growing my hair out, I will not give up. Not now.
Good week to you as well !!
I started growing my hair long in 1964, throughout the 60s and 70s I was convinced that when teachers/school administrators/employers
would complain about my hair that is was always guys who were bald or going bald and were jealous that they could not grow their hair long.
Actually, what you're describing is a transvestite. Shemale is a rather rude term for a certain type of hermaphrodite, i.e. someone who has a very feminine build, features, voice, etc. but also has a penis.
Funnily enough, most women are transvestites nowadays. Being a transvestite used to be illegal in many countries, and women wearing pants were arrested along with men wearing dresses.
Correct me if i'm wrong but aren't hermaphrodites those individuals who are born with both male and female parts?
Yes, they actually called me a " transvestite", not a shemale. I said shemale because English is not my main language so that was the first word that came up to my mind hahaha .
I dont understand why women can wear their hair short but men cant have it long.
It's sexism, plain and simple. The reason guys don't complain about it is that we've all been programmed to WANT to look the same. Male fashion hasn't changed much over the last century. Female fashion, on the other hand, is all about making women buy "the latest thing" and fitting in with whatever flavor of beauty is popular this millisecond.
Take a good hard look the next time you go out. Women come in fantastic colors and styles, both in their clothing and their hair, while men are relegated to the same kind of suit that my great-great-grandfather wore, and the same military cut we've been using since the 1940s, and even before that.
Shaving someone's head has been a form of caste control throughout recorded history. Records show ancient Egyptians shaving the heads of their captured slaves to easily identify them. It has always been about control, really. It's the one body part that can be cut off without killing you, so you know they're going to use that to their full advantage.
If you haven't already, read Dr. Raj Singh's dissertation: http://www.choisser.com/longhair/rajsingh.html
It explains a lot of the whats and whys of the problem.
I've had my own experience. During the second time that I had my hair long, I was on a ski trip, and I was wearing a chest pack underneath a jacket.
It just so happened that a little boy came up to my side, tugged on my jacket, and said -- Mommy, I want a cheeseburger.
Granted, you don't pay at the food line, so I would have done it for him. When I looked down at the kid, his eyes had the expression of when he mixed up mom with somebody else. So I looked around, and I found his mom.
Then I got a cheeseburger.
Thanks for all the responses guys.
I think it would bother me if it happened on a regular basis but I don't think that's likely to happen. The waitress couldn't see my body as it was blocked by the booth. It was a fairly unique circumstance given this factor and the clean-shaven face which she could see from an angle.
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Only my upper torso was visible to the observer from the back. (Hip width would have changed the equation, if my hips were visible.)
Scott
It really does help a lot if the body is visible. Most men and women can be distinguished quickly if this is the case.
Not always. I'm 5'8", almost always wear cut off shorts,
have hairy legs, a moustache, and a slight build. Even with all that i've been mistaken for a woman from behind. Especially where most of the women around here in New York have short hair.
It hasn't happened to me in quite awhile, but yes, I've been mistaken from behind to be a female as well, my favorite story being this one (which happened over 10 years ago):
While walking on a sidewalk near a small shopping mall, I heard some bicyclists coming towards me from behind -- a young mother with her 2 kids.
"Slow down, be careful not to hit the lady walking in front of us" (or some statement like that). The two children, as they passed me on their bicycles, both whipped their heads around as they stopped to take a more thorough look than their mother had.
"He's a man, not a lady, Mom!" the boy shouted back at his mother.
When the mother got closer to me she sheepishly apologized; but I just had a big grin on my face by then. "No worries!" was my reply... It actually made my day at the time, because this kind of experience only happens to men with long hair -- proof that we indeed have "arrived!"
Thanks for the post, Jason!
- Ken
Haha, great story, Ken. Thanks for sharing it.