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Forced into getting it cut by parents.
Just so unfair. Depressed. Help.
Yes it sucks. When I started growing my hair long in 1964
I knew alot of kids who also started to grow their hair long.
And there were kids whose parents forced them to get haircuts.
And there were some dads who would cut the kids hair themselves.
I was one of the lucky ones. My mom tolerated my long hair.
Why after you have been growing for at lest a couple of years and then why so short? It is grossly unfair but that does not help you much.
Little to do but ask you when you will be leaving home and can choose, at least you can look forward to that.
Yeah...I don't understand it either...why would they allow him to grow his hair out to such a length, only to force him to get it cut in the end anyway? That's probably the most appalling part about this whole thing...
Hang in there, Billy.
No, this is absolutely not fair. Your hair is not your parents business. They had no right to force you.
I really hope you will be able to grow your hair out again as fast as possible.
Just asking, how long did it took for your hair to reach that length?
No, it's not fair, but on a more positive note, you'll soon be of an age when you can leave home and not have to live by their rules. Until then, you'll just have to be patient.
Well, about all you can do is hang in there until you are out on
your own. Then you can do whatever you damn well want to do with
your hair!
No, this is definitely not fair.
they would not have done that to a girl
your parents need to realize this is 2013, not 1953!
it's YOUR hair and you have a right to wear it the way
you want!
I would have refused and fought to keep my hair.
Yes this is grossly unfair. It sucks big time.
But the bottom line here is you're living under your
parents roof, you have to live by their rules.
When you move into your own house, you can set your own rules.
When I was in my thirties my mom was hassling me about my hair.
I read her the riot act, "this is my house, I work to pay for it,
I set the rules for my hair. If you don't like it then
your'e more than welcome to leave." Never got any further complaints.
Your mother complained about your hair, but when you were in you teens she had no problems with it?
Yeash she had no problems with it in the 60s. My dad did but
he didn't have any say in it since my parents were divorced.
And dad had a new wife and lived a fair distance away.
The divorce is why she most likely let me grow my hair. But she
never complained about my hair in the 60s and 70s until i reached my thirties. I guess she thought that since I was in my thirties that it was time to grow up and cut my hair.
Now at the ripe old age of 58 I still refuse to grow up and cut my hair.
(Mom has Alzeihmers now, dad died back in the 1970s.)
I was really surprised...I thought your parents were supportive of you having long hair at an early age? What made your mom hassle you when you were in your thirties....(I hope old age doesn't turn me into a curmudgeon or makes me inflexible) ......but your response was right on the money....you handled it perfectly
My mom was suppotive in the 1960s, maybe she thought by the time
i reached my thirties that i'd outgrow it. Well I reached by
thirties and didn't out grow it. And now that i'm 58 I still haven't outgrown it.
My mom was supportive in the 1960sm, my dad wss not. But they were divorced at that point so his opinion didn't matter.
He had remarried and moved many miles away.
To all of you longhaired brothers and supporters out there.....
Perhaps it's just me, but I don't understand what the parents are thinking...They obviously KNOW Billy doesn't want his hair cut....and then they don't just have him cut his hair, but they have him get a cut that even Ricky and David Nelson would
have found unpopular in the 50s. What are the parents thinking? Don't they care about their son's emotional well being? When Billy writes...Just so unfair...depressed...help...you know there's a problem....how could the parents be so oblivious to how their son will feel AFTER the haircut?...I don't understand....unless it is to deliberately humiliate their son, why would they have him do it? And if their justification is that they are embarrassed by their son and what other people will say, don't these parents realize it's their son who will be their lifelong connection in their old age...and not all these other people who's opinion doesn't mean anything in the long run? And if it's their opinion that a short haircut will make a man out of him, don't they realize his self-esteem is more important? And if it is some sort of way to punish their son, doesn't this punishment seem excessive...I would say abusive...
I don't mean to go on, but maybe I do...I don't understand how that is good parenting...can somebody tell me?
As for you Billy, I could say cliché things like: Tough it out...it's only hair...blah blah blah...that won't make you feel better right now...you SHOULD feel depressed, but don't let this overwhelm you...but what might make you feel better in the future is what all these wonderful guys have said ....when you are on your own, you will be able to grow your hair again ...it will look great long
I would mention that many of these parents were born in the 20s
and 30s when if parents said you had get a haircut you got
a haircut right away or they would either drag you to the barber shop or cut the hair themselves.
I would also mention that dad was probably in the military,
had short hair all his life, and would never think of going against his parents.
Also parents in that era had no regard for self esteem, being
depressed, etc. These parents toughed it out if they were depressed.
Someone uploaded a video on youtube with a kid by the name of Dillon Grim being forced by his Father with his Marine Corps haircut to get his locks all sheared off and done the same way at some barbershop.
it is a traumatic experience and one I will never understand why parents put their kids through. imagine the humiliation he went through at school.
Hi Billy,
No, I don't think is fair at all. That was some really beautiful hair you cut off. I am curious how you were able to let it get that long if your parents don't approve of it. That looks like about 2-3 years of growth. I am not sure how old you are. But soon enough, you won't have to do what your parents say. I would just deal with it until you are able to get out on your own.
But I must say you don't look that bad with short hair. I do like your look better with the long hair. I will hope you can grow your awesome hair again soon. Please keep us updated on your progress. Have a great week my friend!
Ted
I forgot to welcome you to the board! I know you will grow your hair again and look forward to seeing your update as a long hair! Keep your head up!
Ted
Sorry to hear it. I had the same problems growing up, although I never was allowed to get it that long. I always wanted long hair but they wouldn't allow it. For what it's worth I think that style in the after picture is pretty cool looking! My advice is to keep your chin up and start a-new when your on your own.
-Tommy
The end result looks very close to what my dad forced me to do time and time again when I was in high school. Fairness? What's that? When I was your age, whatever my dad said was written in stone--and you did not ask why, He had no regard for self esteem and had just one attitude: He was right and everyone else was simply wrong if they didn't agree with him, no matter what the issue was. I'm 61 years old and I still remember that attitude and the suffocating effect it had on my brother and me.
Yeah, I know times have changed. And I just happened to come from a very controlling household. And because I did, it doesn't surprise me when I hear of other parents acting the same way my folks did. It saddens me, but doesn't surprise. The main result of my upbringing and reaction to that treatment has been for me to go to the other end of the spectrum as far as my parenting my own son goes. I consider his self esteem in everything I do when dealing with things concerning him. And I think I should.
As far as your hair goes and the way it was dealt with, I really am sorry. As it was said by others earlier, when you get out on your own, you can plan on doing what you want. That's what happened to me and thousands of others. I realize the time frame may seem like it stinks for now, but believe me, it'll come before you know it.
Nope, not fair, but life isn't fair. You know *you* are a longhair, regardless of how others are controlling your life. Remember that. And when you can get out, go and don't look back.
I don't know, I might shave it even more or play with color...but then, I haven't been in a subservient position for a very long time.
It's so disgusting to see that are still parents like that (No offense).
What I would like to know is , what kind of argument they gave you to force you cut your hair ?
I am 25 years old and still live in my parents hous because in my country moving out is very VERY expensive so people actually move out from their parents house when they hit their 30s or even more .
I still live with them and am growing my hair out. They would never force me to do something against my will, and even if they would, I would never obey because although they are my parents and I live with them, I am over 21 and can do whatever I want with my own life.
I am not sure how old you are. But I am pretty sure you will be able to grow your hair back once you're older and live on your own.
Too bad that your parents dont see that this frustrates you and makes you feel bad. Too bad also that they dont see that no matter how long your hair is, you will not change and you will still be their son, no matter what length your hair is.
Then we get surprised when we see horror stories about sons killing their own parents. Parents should stop thinking they can control their childs' life.
Hi there Billy,
Rest assured you'll have plenty of support and empathy here, as well as the replies you've already received by all of the others below have all been excellent in my opinion.
When I was around your age and still living in my dad's house, my brothers and I were never allowed to even grow our hair touching the tops of our ears -- he made sure of that all during my childhood and into my teen years, because he cut our hair himself. it was miserable, I hated every moment of that memory. Which is why I left home at age 18 to go out into the work force in order to get out from under his roof (and his unfair rules). Once you earn your own money and pay for your own apartment or room to rent, your parents have no control over you in this way.
Many aspects of life are not fair -- something you'll find out over and over again well into adulthood, unfortunately. But, you CAN make some decisions that will better protect your rights (and your hair) in the future. You do have the power to do that; but only YOU can be the one to look at the many choices that you are currently facing, and to take the best path you can figure out taking in order to make things happier for you than you're experiencing right now, today.
One thing I recommend you do: since you look to be still very much "school age", I recommend you concentrate on getting the very best grades in school that you can get -- to study hard, focus hard, and concentrate on the opportunities that you have available at your finger tips right now, rather than to concentrate too much on your loss.
There's plenty of details that you have NOT told us... and that's OK, if you prefer not talking too much about what all led up to your parents making you cut off so much hair to such a short style.
Whatever has happened in the past, so be it. But you do have the power to make good choices right now that will help you have a brighter, happier future -- including growing back that beautiful long hair of yours, if you so desire!
... I hope my comments have helped.
- Ken in San Francisco
No it isn't fair what happened to you. But then you can grow it back out again when you are independent of your parents, and missing having long hair can reinforce to you how important it is to your identity. Regrowing your hair out again in the future would be easier the 2nd time around as you have had experience with hair care and would get better results. I think the short hair looks like something out of the 1930's. In Australia it is unusual to see a guy with hair that short, and is more often associated with the gay community who wear super short butch hairstyles a lot. Your young yet and you know that your capable of growing hair that long again so good luck for the future.
Duncan
How long until you turn 18? Unfortunately, you are stuck with your parents until you are a legal adult, so you need to make the best of it. So do your best in school, be on your best behavior, and try talking with your parents about how you feel. You had been allowed to grow it for some time, what led to your parents making you get it cut? Did they just suddenly decide, it has to go? Or was it in response to your behavior?
Now what is the actual story behind this? "Billy Shears" has posted it on another board without the yarn about parents.
I was starting to think the same thing. this kid has yet to respond to any of the replies. it may not even be the same person who uploaded this. in fact it might even be a military school before and after.
could you provide a link to the other site where this was posted please?
You have to love the name "Billy Shears". I absolutely hate shears when it comes to hair.
Ted
speaking of Billy Shears, check out The Billy Shears show and Sandra (from Poland) on youtube. she is ~hot~ and there is no real haircutting in the video so it's not your typical Long to super short b.s. the guy is funny though and the model is gorgeous!
It depends on the "shears". trimming is one thing. shearing is another.
if you're referring to these tools that make the loud buzzing sound that can take remove a shoulder length mane off in a couple of seconds I am in agreement with you 100%!!
Hi Jake,
Man, that big photo made me shudder! I may have nightmares now! I will have to check out the Billy Shears show. Thanks for the recommendation!
Ted
No, not fair.
Unfortunately, all the time you live at home, your parents have the ability to dictate some of your choices.
Once you leave home, you make the choices and can enjoy lots of things, such as having the hair you want.