new thread
... enough is enough.
I teach my children that, with few exceptions, they should never physically hurt someone over mere words. The other day was one of the exceptions.
We are in the process of home building, and are spending the summer living at a nearby campground. A few days ago, my 5-year-old son was at the playground when some older boys (tourists' kids, aged 10 and 8) began teasing him about his hair, which reaches to his tailbone. He tried his best to ignore it, then defend himself verbally, and then even to walk away, but they followed him and continued hurling not only insults, but profanities. An older gentleman who had previously scolded these boys for their bad manners and foul language later recounted to me what ensued...
My son turned and approached the larger of his two abusers. When he was close enough, the older of the boys began kicking at him. My son deflected a few of these kicks, then struck the boy across the mouth with his forearm, knocking him down and bloodying his lip. The other boy turned to run, but my son ran him down, spun him around by the back of his shirt, kicked him in the groin, grabbed him by the head, and slammed him face-first into the ground. Another parent walking past my campsite told me, "He seems to be handling himself really well, but I thought you might want to know that a couple of older boys are giving your son some trouble down at the playground." I immediately walked over, just in time to see my son notice my approach and, thinking he would be in trouble, run behind a bush to hide, with just his big, blue eyes shining out from between the leaves. I called him over to ask him what had happened, when the older boy came walking out of the nearby shower room with tears on his cheeks, having just washed the blood out of his mouth where his tooth had cut into his lip. He tried to paint the picture that my son had started the trouble, but when I asked him why my boy had felt the need to fight two larger, older boys, he mumbled an unintelligible response and walked away. The other kids at the playground and the aforementioned elder then told me what had happened.
I reminded my son that, under most circumstances, he should never resort to physical violence just over words, but made sure to let him know how proud I was of the way he decided that enough was enough when the people accosting him would not relent, and that he had enough self respect to stand up for himself. When my wife asked him later if he had been scared, he said, "No. Why would I be scared?" She told him, "Well, there were two of them, and they were older and bigger than you. Weren't you afraid that you might get hurt?" He replied, "I wouldn't let them hurt me. I'm a warrior."
--Validus
Outstanding story about an outstanding, brave little boy, Val!
I too, teach my preschoolers that violence is not the answer and that they always should come to us adults when experiencing mobbing and/or violence, but sometimes, to retaliate and show no fear is the only answer, and especially in such a manner in which the other two were older and bigger than him... wow.
That little warrior of yours deserves a good pat on the back and a dad-night tonight, me thinks ;)
Awesome read, buddy!
Thank you, Raul! I do teach and remind my kids that it's almost always better to tell a trusted adult when there is a problem, rather than getting physically violent. On the other hand, as a born warrior and lifelong martial artist myself, I also understand and teach them that sometimes the only way to fix a problem that just won't go away otherwise is with a good ol' fashioned butt kicking. Balance, wisdom, and discernment are the key ingredients.
--Val
Hey Validus!
You have every right to be proud of your son. I'm already jealous at him, since he has such awesome hair at that age, which I sadly didn't, but the way he handled the situation was absolutely impressive. He didn't back down to teh bullies, but rather made them regret being such ***holes. Then again it's their parents fault, because they obviously never teach their kids to be polite and not try to bully someone for their appearance.
I just don't know what to say, other than that I admire your son. He is growing up to be a well-mannered, strong guy.
Thank you for the kind words, Michail. I am very proud of how my son handled himself, from knowing when to engage his opponents (that is, when it became clear that they would not relent), to knowing when to stop (when they were no longer a threat). And you are quite correct: it is always sad to see other people's children being turned into prejudiced, small-minded creatures because of their parents insecurities.
Take care,
Val
Hey Val that was an awesome account about how your son defended himself against a couple of cowardly bullies! Shame on those big kids picking on a younger kid over something so stupid. Well both of them got what they deserved and hopefully they learned a lifetime lesson from that beating.I have to say your son likely did them a favor as who knows those two bullies later in life may have pulled off a bigger stunt and could end up like that unfortunate youngster in Florida who was shot to death.Yes they got off easy this time with the scrapes they received. There is something to be said about defending oneself as I salute your son my friend:)Cheers
Mârk
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... enough is enough.
Thanks, Mârk! Yes, one can only hope that these kids learn from this "light sentence" now, rather than being taught an even harsher lesson in the future.
--Val
Great story Val and thanks for sharing it. You should be very proud both of your son and your parenting. Most bullies are afraid down deep. This one needed what came to him and hopefully he learned a lesson.
Thanks, Jason! I am proud of my son, and feel reassured by the way he handled this situation that my wife and I are raising our kids in a good way. I do hope that at least a seed of wisdom was planted in the hearts of those other boys, and that they'll think twice before acting like bullies again.
--Val
Hi Val,
He replied, "I wouldn't let them hurt me. I'm a warrior."
I love this! The ignorant idiot got what he deserved. I am proud of you and your son! You are obviously doing something right my friend! I just love little warriors with long hair:)
Please tell your son to keep his beautiful hair growing! Please take care and keep us updated on you and your son's hair growth.
Ted
Thank you, Ted! My son is a true-blooded, die hard longhair who refers to himself as a viking and states that he will never cut his hair... which I think is awesome. I have kept my own hair at various stages of "shagginess" while camping full-time throughout the summer, and am now resuming full-on growth, as we will be moving out of the tents soon, in anticipation of the colder weather that's just around the corner.
Take care,
Val
Hi Val,
You are quite welcome! Your son is awesome for refusing to cave in to the norm! And you and your wife are to be commended for obviously above average parenting! I will thank you on behalf of our society for raising great people! They will go on to do great things-of this I'm sure!
Please keep growing your own hair! I definitely lok forward to your future updates! You have great hair to work with and I'm jealous!
Congratulations on building your house-the American dream! Please keep us updated on your life my friend! Definitely gotta get in the house before colder weather!
Have a wonderful week my friend!
Ted
Here's a picture of my son with a toy hand axe that I made for him at our campsite this summer.
Hi Val,
Number one son is definitely looking like a Little Warrior here! I just wish I could have seen him in action! That would have been a sight to behold! Hopefully idiots will know better than to mess with him! Lest they go down also!
Please tell him to keep that beautiful hair growing! I am inspired by him!
Ted
Thanks again for your sincere words, Ted. Actually, the little viking is our second son. Here's the whole bunch of them, with my oldest (12-year-old) son in the middle, my 8-year-old daughter on the right, and our (future long-haired?) baby, who will be turning one year old in a month.
Behind them is our "summer home," a pair of 10-foot by 10-foot wall tents!
--Val
Hi Val,
Oh, my apologies! Somehow I forgot about your other son! Shame on me! This is a wonderful pic of your kids and I thank you for posting it! Now get that house up and get out of those tents! Please!
You guys take care my friend!
Ted
This picture does a better job of showing my 5-year-old son's hair. He's playing with a "faerie house" that I made with my daughter and he.
Hi Val,
I have to applaud you and your wife for raising your children to be open minded. Too often we want to "conform" to what society expects. I truly believe your kids will grow up to be among the best citizens in the U.S. Your son looks great here with the beautiful long hair! Please keep up your awesome parenting my friend!
Ted
Gotta' join in on the applauding, Val! :)
Not only does your son have beautiful hair, but he's also got a beautiful and kind heart, surely guided by his mommy and daddy's good vaules! You ought to (and surely are) proud, bro! :)
Thanks again, Raul! Being a dad has been the greatest, strangest trip I've ever been on... it's really quite something to watch and guide another human being through the beginning of life, and exciting to see them continue to self-actualize.
Cheers,
Val
Well, he did some good for longhairs everywhere, of every age!
He crushed a stereotype for those two bullies. Good for him!
Actually, long-haired warriors are legend, in real life and in the media.
Thanks, Never2Long! It's nice to think that he wasn't just standing up for himself, but for the right of all men to grow their hair as they please.
--Val
It's always good to see children stand up to bullies. I really liked your story, Validus. Thanks for sharing.
By the way, it made me think of this song.
Goodnight, Demon Slayer
Thanks, Septet! Glad you enjoyed reading about it. Thanks for sharing the song, as well!
--Val
I don't like bullies of any type so its always nice when some
get what they had coming. Good for the little long haired
warrior.
Thank you, MG. I've told my son about the outpouring of support and kudos with which the MLHH community has responded, and he is truly appreciative of it!
--Val
Hi Val,
Thank you for sharing your awesome story. I have absolutely no use for bullying in any shape or form, and cheers to your son for standing up for himself and for teaching these guys a lesson.
David
Thank you, David! I, too, have no tolerance for bullying. Hopefully those kids will actually learn something from this and think twice the next time they see someone whom they think will be an easy victim.
Take care!
--Val
You are right, and have taught your so well.
The initial change from verbal to physical came when they aimed kicks at your son. His reaction was fair and very restrained. Congratulations to you and to him.
Thanks, bte. The words of support from you and the rest of the MLHH community are very much appreciated.
--Val
...have changed and you rarely see results of good parenting.
Thanks for Sharing
Walter
Val, you are an exemplary example of a fine parent!
One can take crap from others, but there comes a point when one has a turd in every pocket and can't take any more.
Sometimes a little warrior has to use his sword.
- Oren
I can sympathize as a fellow parent I can't stand when I see or hear stories of kids bullying other kids. Good luck with the home building!
AWESOME story, Val, an inspiration to anyone who has ever been bullied (myself when I was younger, as one example), as well as encouraging to anyone who has had to endure verbal abuse just because of being a bit "different" from society's norm...
May there be more parents like you and your wife -- and may there be more outstandingly courageous kids like yours in today's world!!
- Ken
I'm against violence but sometimes it's the best option. From the story you told it was the best option, sometimes you've got to stand up to bullies. He handled himself very well over there, amazing for a boy that age.