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Gotta tell you guys - I am struggling today. Seems I'm hitting that point where I look pretty shaggy and I'm feeling like a mess. I am just at 7 months since my last hair cut. I read your posts - some of you guys are so refreshing - complimenting each other and so easy with each other - some of you younger guys are so confident and at ease in your expressions - darn cute, handsome, with beautiful hair growing at all stages... you older guys seem to not give a darn what others think - I gotta get some of your confidence and hutzpah... I told Ken in SF the other day that I like his attitude - I think I've always been to self-conscious and don't like to stand out... BUT, I've always wanted to grow my hair long - I wish I had years ago when it was thicker and more lush - now, it's thinning on top and not what it once was... don't want to give up now and need your support. Thanks! Fitz
At seven months, you are just entering the awkward stage. The way you're looking and the way you're feeling are perfectly normal for the awkward stage. It cannot be avoided--it's part of the process.
Only you can decide if you want to work through the awkward stage. Everyone who has long hair has worked through it. Everyone who doesn't, hasn't.
As for thinning on top, around here it sometimes takes on the character of an emergency. It's not. I didn't start growing mine out again until after I'd plugged all the drains in the bathroom. Yes, my hairstyle is the dreaded and much maligned "skullet". At work, when telling someone how to find me, I tell them, "I'm the bald guy with the ponytail at the front desk."
If someone else doesn't like it, eff em. And I don't mean the kind with no static at all.
Thanks, guys - yeah, it's about the push through at this stage... there's not much I can do about it except accept the awkwardness... I really haven't had any outside negative comments - today it was only me looking at myself and wondering what the heck I'm trying to prove. I know I really want to keep going - I had an original goal of going from Christmas to my birthday without getting a cut - that was early June - now, a few weeks later, I want to set a new goal - to go a full year without a cut - setting a new goal will help me push through-
Hey, I've been there. I always had semi-long hair--and inch or so below the ears, that sort of thing, all through college. Even that was enough to set my parents off and I never heard the end of it. I will be 62 on August 26 of this year. My hair grazes my belt-line in back and, personally, I feel better about my looks than I ever have. I grew up in a very controlling household. Then, afterwards, it was school and bosses who gave a guy a hard time if he had hair like I wanted. Almost four years ago, my wife and I talked and she encouraged me to be myself. If I wanted it long, hey, grow it long. I was nearing retirement age and with that came a new found sense of pride and independence. I was in my sixties and, by gosh, I was gonna do a few things like I'd always wanted to while there was time enough to do them! And, you're right. I am an older guy and I COULD CARE LESS if people have problems with the way I wear my hair. I'm not hurting a soul. And if it's just about them wanting to gripe about it because they want to mind someone else's business, other than their own, I do know how to address that, too. BTW, I am blessed that my wife is at peace with me doing my thing in this way. Long hair is not her favorite. But, she loves me and wants me to be happy and she's open to it for that reason. I'm blessed.
Don't let anyone else dictate what you get your happiness from. If long hair is what you want, then do it.
Steve
Absolutely. I couldn't agree more.
Hi Fitz,
Bummer to hear that you're struggling. I definitely can understand what you are talking about! It can be hard to look at your hair and wonder if it's ever going to look good. You have to let the old haircut grow out and get to be one length. As you get closer to this point, you will come to enjoy your hair more and more. As I read on another board, long hair shows that a person has patience.
Nice to hear you are enjoying the board and reading posts. I think when you grow your hair you will take on a more free spirit. At least that's the way I feel now with longer hair. People will most likely think you have a lot of self confidence since you wear your hair long. They will see that you don't follow the norm. I believe your hair will look great long and doesn't really look thin to me. And you can't worry about what people think about your hair. Believe me, when you start to feel your hair brushing your back, you will love it! Mine is starting to fall in front of my shoulders and I'm loving it!
So with that said, you have my full support and hutzpah! Please keep growing YOUR hair for YOU! I am confident you will be glad you did. I certainly look forward to your future updates!
Ted
Ted - I knew you'd come through for me... Thanks for responding to my post... I went to the regional market - farmer's market today - I wore my green Fitz hat and tucked my hair behind my ears and liked how the back looked coming out from under my hat - I saw a lot of guys and different styles of long hair - all lengths and styles - saw one guy with long hair and in his beard he had braided in some sort of shells or beads - pretty cool old guy who was his own man! So, today I'm feeling that confidence in my choice and experiencing that feeling of being a member of the free spirits...
Hi fitz,
I appreciate your very nice reply! Sounds like you had a good time at the market! You will begin to take notice of guys with long hair now that you are growing yours. I know I get jealous even of women with nice long hair. The other day I saw a woman with beautiful braids and told her how much I liked them. She told me she loved my hair and the color was just so nice. She even touched my hair! I was big-headed for the rest of the day! People will realize that you are also your own man once you let your hair keep growing longer. And you will also become more comfortable with it.
I am confident that you will be able to grow your hair like you always have wanted to! You will also be able to wear your Fitz hat like the guy in this pic Bruce Dickinson) I am posting! Can you just imagine? You will look awesome my friend! Onward and downward! Long hair rules forever!
Ted
To be honest, I do like how my hair looks most of the time, but even I get self-conscious. I'm still young and my hair has reached quite a decent length, but still... I think, you will need to get used to it and you will eventually build the confidence! But I think since you used to avoid standing out from the crowd with your appearance it will be a lot harder. It won't just happen overnight.
Good luck!
Heya Fitz!
First off, let me start by saying I know how you feel.
Sometimes I have days when I get really discouraged as well, and come to realize that my hair will never really be EXACTLY the way I would ideally want it to be.
On such days I try to keep myself busy with other things and not think about it too much. That's when a ballcap or tons of hairgel really do the trick.
What's important for all of us to remember, is that probably ALL of us have something they wish they could change about their hair, whether the texture, the color, the thickness or whatnot.
What we truly are, however, is LUCKY, to be able to actually grow our hair. Not to be sick, or completely bald by this stage, and this applies to all of us, from 18 to 80 :)
Keep that chin up, bro... you and I both know it will all be worth it in the end! :)
Thanks, Raul! I get a kick out of reading your posts and enjoy observing how you enjoy your progress... trying different things with your hair.
I'm 58 years old now and am definetely at the point where I don't give a darn what others think. After all if they didn't complain about my hair then they'd find something else to oomplain about. (I'm too short, my nose is too big, my build is slight, etc.) You get the idea. So I learned a long time ago
to ignore the complaints since they will never end.
Now I on the other hand do like to stand out. I don't want to be like the 99% of men who have short hair that is either buzzed
/in a crew cut/etc. I decided back in 1964 I had to have long
hair and have had it since then.
Life is too short, you should grow your hair long today while
you're still above ground to do it.
I was where you're at maybe 8-9 months ago - ended up getting a substantial trim and regretted it immediately. Now I'm several inches past where I was before I had it cut and almost out of the awkward stage, I'm feeling pretty great. It starts to stay neater, look better, and is a lot more manageable. I say, keep going.
Hiya Fitz, hang in there! Having tried to grow my hair before about 10 years ago and giving in to pressure in the awkward stage, I can tell you after getting it cut I always regretted it.
Some days are tough, and some days it seems like there is no progress happening. I always get through those days with some browsing of these forums, and I also logging my progress. I started at 6 months and now at around 9 I can look back at my pictures and see a big difference, which is encouraging. Maybe you could try the same?
Also if you search YouTube for "long hair growth progress" or something similar you will find lots of cool videos showing guys who have grown their hair out and what it looked out in the various stages.
-Tommy
Hi there Fitz,
It might help you to hear that during my first experience of growing my hair out (when I first had succeeded at ponytail-length on my 40th birthday, back in '93), I struggled many many times, lacking in quite a bit of self-confidence in fact. But with every inch of growth came further resolve to keep on growing -- I had wanted long hair for so long, I just "hung in there" until it got long enough to tie back into a tail.
The awkward stages are indeed tough sometimes... Do whatever it takes to get through it: whether wearing hats, bandanas, using a lot of gel, etc., it doesn't matter. It's just a temporary means to get you through to your goal.
Oddly enough, with each increasing inch of hair, your self-consciousness with gradually disappear, as well as general attitude will truly change and grow with your hair, even your basic personality changing to some degree in new and unexpected ways (imperceptible at first, but changing enough to help you successfully reach your goal).
Hang in there, just "tough it out", as the saying goes! You will be so happy in the end, even if your hair isn't so-called "perfect"... you'll love it, anyway!
Hope these comments have helped!
- Ken