new thread
Well, I never REALLY left...
Hello all! My name is Dan and I was a semi-regular poster here from 2009-2011 or thereabouts. I would be really surprised if anyone remembered who I was but I hope I made a small difference back then in helping others with the hair growing thing!
I had been growing my hair for 3+ years when in the winter of 2013 I did the STUPIDEST thing in my entire life. Feeling pressured by family and friends, and feeling like I wanted to fit in again, I buzzed my hair to 1/2 inch. I can't even begin to explain the regret I felt. I had read Ken's (one of my favorite posters here, by the way) account of his terrible Y2K haircut many times before that, yet I went and did the same thing! I was so ashamed that I couldn't bring myself to post here until now, at 16 months growth, though I never stopped lurking. I felt like I betrayed everyone here who gave me encouragement, as well as the numerous people I helped encourage myself.
Well, things are looking up now. I have made many positive changes in my life, including eating mostly natural foods and working out regularly. I recently got married to my long standing girlfriend of almost 10 years and we fulfilled our dream of moving from Ohio to Seattle, Washington. I love it here on the west coast and feel like I can be myself without any reservations. It really is a different world from the Midwest. Not to mention, you can't walk one block without seeing a guy with long hair!
I hope I can be forgiven for my bad decisions and do hope to become a regular poster here again. Here is a picture of me, now sporting a beard (another change).
-Dan H.
Dan,
We all do things we regret. I have not buzzed after having had long hair, but I buzzed to half an inch for many years. The last time I had had hair of any length was when I was about 20 and going through a bad patch in my life. Cutting my hair was then my way of changing my life. I started buzzing about 20 years ago, and did it for the last time in September 2013.
I am now an "awkward stager" (nearly 7 months) with hair like something from the beginning of the 19th century - grey and with curly ends! I decided last January to go for long hair to at least mid-back length. This for me is not a reversion to a previous stage of my life but something new and which reflects the person I believe I am.
Your experience of cutting your hair and regretting it because of pressure from other people will certainly give you strength in growing it again. Your 16 month hair is looking very good.
Congratulations for your marriage and your choices in life. You can count on my support.
Anthony
Anthony,
I really appreciate you sending your support! I know what you mean about long hair reflecting the person you really are. Even at 7 months of growth the feeling can begin, and it only gets stronger. It is never too late to realize your true self.
It is great to have newer, committed members like you stay the course and show your support for others. It is that kind of mindset that ultimately sets one up for success in their hair growth goals.
-Dan H.
Hi Dan,
Your hair & beard look hands-down TERRIFIC!!! No worries about what you did in the past, and no reason to hope to feel "forgiven" by any of us -- life is all about learning lessons, and moving forward with that newer, better perspective after we've learned whatever it is that we've needed to learn.
Since you mentioned my infamous Y2K haircut, let me just add that, in hindsight, that as much as I regretted that decision at the time, the experience taught me so much about who I am (and who I am NOT, as well), that it's best not to dwell on the regret part.
Often out of some sort of bad experience can come a precious "gem" to hang onto. In the case of my impulsive Y2K short haircut, several invaluable things occurred as a result: 1) I made a COMMITMENT to being a longhair from that moment on; 2) I learned not to indulge in short-sighted "Impulsive" decisions like that, but rather to think things through more carefully before acting on anything; 3) to value what I have more -- to consciously APPRECIATE the good things in my life (including the hair that I have on my head today)!!
Anyway, before I forget to say it: a big CONGRATS to you on your marriage, your move to the West Coast (and escape from the Midwest - LOL), and all of the other cool things happening with you!! (Hey, I'm originally from Illinois; so I totally understand the excitement of leaving the Midwest behind - LOL)
... "Onward & Downward!"
- Ken in San Francisco
Ken,
Thank you so much for replying! I was hoping you would see my message since you influenced me so much in your attitudes toward life. I know exactly how I feel about having long hair thanks to that experience. When I cut it, I thought that I would feel more comfortable around people since I looked "normal". But in fact, the opposite happened - I lost the personality and unique feeling that I portrayed when I was longhaired. I really did feel lost and less confident, like an important part of me vanished.
Escaping the Midwest has been one of the best decisions of my life. I never knew how bad things were there until I moved out. People here are so friendly, accepting, non-judgmental, and FUN! I feel right at home.
I hope things are going well in SF. It was one of the places that we were strongly considering to move to, but Seattle won out. (By won out, I mean my wife liked it better, lol!).
-Dan H.
Hi again Dan,
I've visited Seattle a few tomes, totally LOVE it, as well as over the years had a few friends of mine move there (both from the SF Bay Area, as well as from my home state of IL); so I don't blame you and your wife one bit for loving it!
Portland is also a beautiful city, I have a close friend and longtime Swing dance partner who moved up there a few years ago.... The Pacific Northwest is just a drop-dead gorgeous place to live, regardless of whatever town or city -- and a more reasonably priced place to live than here in SF. I'm so glad to hear you are both so happy with your decision! (and yes, it tends to be more longhair-friendly here on the West Coast than back in the Midwest!)
Long Lox 4ever,
Ken
I have to disagree. I grew up in Wisconsin when I started growing my hair long in 1964, and it was generally long hair
friendly except for the schools.
Hi, I am glad everything is going good for you. Also I can relate trying to fit in with others but now to me it's pointless. I am in early 30s and tried to fit in at high school and it's not worth it. Because I never seen anyone from school since 2001 and basically I am not going to live for others and change my appearance to be accepted. Another story is when I first started a job in 2003 I wanted to fit in and I tried to smoke since alot of guys my age were doing it. I never even tried smoking in high school and when I tried smoking at work others could see I didn't like it and I was just doing it to be cool and be accepted. I haven't smoked since than since I didn't like it. I feel they should accept me for my personality and not how I dress or length of my hair I have. I also beleive that's the problem with alot of people is everyone cares of about only looks and fashion instead of looking at the person inside. The thing that gets me more upset is when women cut hair short nobody says anything really but when men grow long hair everybody thinks it's illegal.
Yes, I can understand finally how pointless it is to try and "fit in". When you are not being yourself, you won't even fit in with your own body and perceptions, and that is the only place I will bother trying to fit into now!
-Dan H.
Hi Dan,
I was not around before when you were posting, but I am glad you're back...
Congrats on your marriage and best wishes on your hair journey..
The Spaf Man