new thread
Hello. It's been a long time(3-4 years) since I've been on here. I miss the board and you guys more than I thought. Here's a question/problem posed by my wife about my long hair. Right now, it's shorter than I think it should be but it's just right to her. Anyway, she says that when I grow my hair long, it takes away from my jawline, which is pretty predominant and that long hair makes my face look long. Any advice on styling would be greatly appreciated because I plan to start on my 'long hair' journey pretty soon.
Ignore the woman, she does not want you to have long hair! Go with your own feeling - it is your appearance and your confidence in it that is important.
Are you married, UK?
There are some earlier threads on this forum about dealing with wives, employers and others who would have us conform to the "short hair orthodoxy".
My own experience is that we cannot compromise without giving the whole arm and finishing up as a wet rag in the manipulating hands of the one exerting pressure. I have indeed asked my wife whether she wants to be married to a wet rag "in her image and likeness" or a man who is an integrated human being. These are matters that anyone, who finds difficulty in anything being outside their control, hates.
To know what my wife thinks, I can only really do so by overhearing her conversations with others. "He has long hair. I don't like it but it's his choice". That is the key - sticking to it and not compromising.
At the same time, we have to find the right degree of resistance and the right forms to express it. There can be no hard and fast rules for everybody. What she will say to me is that she finds my hair ugly - because it's in the "awkward stage" and she hopes it will look better when it's longer, almost as if I were on some kind of trial after which my status would be re-evaluated. That is why I mentioned "corporal punishment" - English style with a finest-quality ratten cane (garden bamboo will do the job) - when thinking about such arrogance. I have never actually done so, but there are other ways to bring someone down from the pedestal. The trouble is that someone who is "down" becomes bitter and unpredictable.
Another way is to give her a "time out" when she becomes domineering and dragon-like. Just walk out of the room and ignore her - don't rise to the bait. I'm not sure that wife-whacking is legal in France!
Meanwhile, I'm keeping mine growing and flowing. She has only to stop messing about with hers and let it grow...
Anthony
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Disclaimer: I really need to add something to say that I said this tongue-in-cheek and am not advocating any kind of deviance or violence. I have never done this kind kind of thing, nor do I intend to. Just, sometimes it does good to mention it in words and then go back to living normal life.
Marriage is often difficult and a psychological war at times, but there must never be physical violence. One must never place oneself in the wrong.
That is why I mentioned "corporal punishment" - English style with a finest-quality ratten cane (garden bamboo will do the job) - when thinking about such arrogance.
Anthony
Thanks for the vote of confidence Anthony. I have Native American ancestry(Cherokee and Lower Muscogee Creek). I am proud of my heritage and that is a big reason that I want to grow my hair. Also, she says I have beautiful hair, so why not let it grow while I still have it. My hair is getting grayer by the day...she tells me that short hair makes me look younger.
A little something peculiar about having long hair that I can't quite figure out. The older women in my church love it long and will tell me that. Maybe you could tell me why you think that is. My wife doesn't like that...