new thread
Hey guys, just wanted to check in with you all. Do hope everyone's having a good week. Also wanted to share an recent experience as well as to ask your opinion on the topic.
First off, I've recently got a part time job as a teacher at a preschool/daycare a friend of mine works at and (since my 'main' job as a graphic designer never required much grooming) I've opted for a variety of different ways to wear my hair while on the job but haven't settled for one and wanted to ask y'all how you wear your hair while at work. I've mostly gone for a braid as of lately but I'm curious as to how you guys wear yours (might even steal some ideas while at it).
As for my experience while at work it went pretty much like this; this Wednesday my friend (there are 2 teachers per classroom) and I took the kids to the playground during their lunch time and this boy who's hair reaches a bit below his shoulders was sitting alone with an angry expression so naturally I decided to go ask him what was wrong. Turned out that some of the other boys were teasing him by saying he 'was a girl' for having long hair and that caused his friends to questioning his gender for some reason. Point being, after lunch time both my friend and I decided to dedicate the reminder of the day in teaching the whole group that hair as well as other stuff don't define one's gender (it was quite helpful that my friend has short hair herself to help demonstrate the point even further) but the real plot twist came after some of the kids in the classroom actually realized I was a guy myself. Turns out that due to my name and the fact that my boyfriend sometimes stopped by to say hi, some of the kids thought I was a girl myself. To be honest I found it quite hilarious (considering my voice is kind of a dead giveaway of my gender anyways) as well as really pleasant to see them react more surprised to the fact that I was guy all along rather than to the fact that I'm gay (yay for progress!).
So there it is, I thought it would be a fun hair related experience to share with you as well as an opportunity to ask you guys (specially those who deal with kids more often) about your own experience as a long haired guy around children.
Peace out!
My hair is not significantly long yet and I haven't experienced anything like that yet but I must congratulate you on what you did, young kids are impressionable and they will grow up to become the next generation, it would be fantastic if they were accepting of different people.
I also hope that boy with the longer hair is treated better by his classmates now.
I usually wear mine in a pony tail or segmented pony tail. I plan to start braiding it as well. If I decide to grow it to my waist, I may learn to do a bun. I am an engineering technician, so the only machine I have to worry about is the drill press.
Darrin
Thanks a lot! I'd like to think that small lessons like this will actually stay within this kid's heads as just like you said, it's something that will just make life easier.
As for the long haired boy, things have returned to normal and he's being treated just like one of the boys once again. :)
wanted to ask y'all how you wear your hair while at work. I've mostly gone for a braid as of lately but I'm curious as to how you guys wear yours (might even steal some ideas while at it).
At my previous job (office work) I'd wear it braided or in a ponytail. At my new job I'll be wearing it tied up in a bun, for safety due to the industrial environment.
Frodo
Thanks for the advise! I actually began wearing a bun myself but due to the constant movement that keeping up with the kids require it didn't stay in place much.
I'm wondering though, does the industrial environment you work at require a helmet or hard hat? I once helped out with the design of a house a few years back and tucking all of my hair into the hat was a nightmare!
No hard hats, just have to keep the hair gathered up so the machines don't grab on. I tied it up in a bun yesterday and it stayed put all day while I was power-washing my friend's deck, so seems like it will stay put while I work. And even if I did have to wear a helmet, I've been tying it in a low bun (or maybe a clubbed-off tail?), so it would sit under the line of the helmet.
I never could wear a hard hat. My hair is too slippery to hold it on by the hatband in it, and my beard is too slippery to have a chin strap hold it on. As soon as I bend over to do any work, the brain bucket falls off.
Skin or stubble provides more friction than long hair, and I have long hair everywhere the hat would make contact with my head.
Bill
I've found a similar problem with ballcaps. Used to wear them all the time in my Navy days (with short hair). Now they tend to slip upwards or off. They won't sit snug on my head like they used to.
One good thing about the bandannas I often wear is that they have no brim or bill, so there is little for the wind to grab ahold of and rip them off. Only once has the wind been so strong that it pulled a bandanna right off my head, and it was on a 200 foot high cliff at Point Reyes overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
While hiking once underneath the Golden Gate Bridge, I saw a cyclone fence there. It is below the sidewalk where the tourists all walk up on the bridge. There were hundreds of ball caps plastered against the fence by the wind. It had ripped them off the tourists' heads up on the sidewalk.
Bill
That's a great story, Jesse... what an incredible opportunity to speak to gender issues, long hair, and treating people well no matter what they look like or live like - I'm glad you shared your experience.
My hair is not that long yet, but for work I have been wearing it in a pony tail most days. Occasionally, when it's wet, I wear it down for the morning till it feels significantly dry, but usually it gets pulled back in a pony before lunch. Nobody has said anything about my hair - actually, I get more attention since it's been long enough to pull back in a pony than before when it was still too short, but long enough to be long.
How long is your hair? I also have a question about your hair and being gay? Do you get any comments or views from other gay guys about wearing your hair long? How old are you? Hope you don't mind me asking...
Thanks for the kind words fitzgarce, and sure I don't mind the questions at all.
My hair (when not affected my the humidity of the weather) goes all the way down to my waist and slightly above my tailbone area.
As far as comments go, I don't recall any major ones. Some like it and some don't, but my boyfriend loves it and to me that's the only opinion that matters. :)
I'm currently 22 but will turn 23 this year.
Hope I was able to give you the answers you where looking for.
Cheers!
thanks for answering..
I went to a gay pride festival this weekend - and was actually pleasantly surprised to see such a variety of people... I saw several guys with long hair.
So, I think that's good news.
That was a great tale that turned into a celebration of diversity and discounting of stereotypes!
Your final question of course asks about how those stereotypes do play out...
I don't work with kids, but of course I come in contact with them. I've found kids to be more interested in people who don't look just like everybody else. Now that I have both long hair and a long beard, the little kids downright stare at me sometimes, and if I speak to them they often smile. It may have "Santa Claus?" overtones.
With older kids, I find I get noticed and spoken to, while kids of that age tend to ignore adults. Being 67 years old and very whitehaired, I'm likely seen more as a kind grandfather than as a threat to kids confronting their macho issues. They know I have no skin in that game.
Hairy as I am, it is very rare that I get anything negative from kids.
Bill
Thanks for sharing Bill! I'm glad whenever I hear hair's not an issue with others as well and I completely get where you're coming from, I used to get the very common "Jesus" nickname thrown at me a couple of times but ever since my hair grew past my shoulders it's now more of a rare occurrence.
Funny that you mention older kids, I tend to be the opposite, smaller kids tend to talk to me more often than older ones for some reason. Still, happy to hear your experience with them isn't a negative one.
Cheers!
That was a very entertaining story, Jesse. I think you're lessons to these children about tolerance and diversity may be as important as those about counting and reading. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for the kind words Gene! I do hope the kids keep this lessons close whenever they grow older and face situations that demand tolerance and acceptance from their part.
A good lesson for the kids!
My wife was mistaken for a boy, even though she had a ponytail down to her back pockets. The 14 year old who made the mistake claimed he had never seen a woman wearing jeans - hard to believe in the mid 1980s - but his mother was French and wore a business suit, skirt and high heels to a car boot sale!
Hey Jesse!
Oddly enough, I have been working at a preschool/daycare since 2008, and during this time, I have hair my hair in all shapes, sizes, lengths, colors and whatnot.
I have aslo added more and more tattoos to my skin, while having stretched ears and just all around being me.
It's rather fun and enlightening hearing these little ones expressing their opinions, amazement and sometimes dislike of one's appearance.
There's a saying in norwegian: "You hear the truth only from the mouth of children and the drunk" :D
When it comes to my hair, especially when having it longer than it is in it's current state, I have often heard comments about "only women have long hair" as well as "only women have earrings".
It's then the time when I take the class we sit down and talk about how there are no "boy or girl colors", "boy or girl toilets" (not at our preschool) and no "boy or girl games/toys".
It's amazing how much these little ones can learn and later on even teach their friends, peers and even families, as long as we keep emphasizing the values of tolerance, acceptance, liberality and euqality.
Thanks for sharing your story, and congrats on having the best job in the world ;)
Thanks for the encouraging words Raul, I've actually watched a few of your videos before and consider myself somewhat of a fan of your hair journey.
I agree completely on everything you said about children, I always try to say and teach the best things I can in order to shape them into tolerant people as both society and humankind in general is evolving and this values are becoming more and more each day.
Kind of surprised to hear you also work at the same environment as I do but I'm glad to know I'm not the only one on this board. I believe we're in the same page in more than one thing though, I've got one ear pierced myself as well as a relatively big back tattoo but oddly enough (not counting the tattoo for obvious reasons) I've never gotten a comment on my piercing as opposed to my hair by the kids.
Cheers!
Jesse, thank you so much for your comment!
Hearing that even people from this board, which has initially inspired me in starting my youtube series, can call themselves 'fans' of my journey... that is truly humbling! Thank you!
Funny thing about my so called "earrings" is that I have stretched (gauged) earlobes, which means I am walking around with 9/16" plugs or eyelets on, which are very much visible.
The children are either fascinated by the bling factor (in case of Anatometal jewelry) or think the actual piercing "wholes" are fascinating, as they ask me to push a few coloring pencils through my lobes.
Yeah, we have tons of fun at my kindergarten :D
Keep up being an everyday superhero, my friend!
Hi Jesse,
I rarely get mistaken for being female, probably because of my beard; but occasionally it has happened in the past, especially if someone first sees me from behind.
How I wear my hair at work is simple: because of kitchen safety rules and regulations, I always wear my hair back in a bun (and then with a hairnet or baseball cap on top of that, additionally).
Thanks for sharing your story, I much appreciate it -- and it's also fun for me to hear from another openly gay guy with long hair (my partner has long hair, too)!
- Ken in San Francisco
Hi Jesse,
First of all, let me say that I love teachers! Long haired male teachers-bravo! This is an excellent story and I really appreciate you sharing it! PLease keep doing what you're doing. And please be well my friend!
Ted
Heh! I've gotten the Princess Hair comment from small girls...I've also had young children make correct gender judgements (in one case, correcting a parent being genderlocked).
I teach. I waited to grow mine after I had developed a good reputation for my teaching. I had short hair the first 10 years I taught.
It is always pulled back at school and I always wear a tie.
Nobody hassled me when I grew it.
Even the superintendent complimented my hair once and said he wished that he could grow his :-)
Do you have a teaching degree?