new thread
Just want to say how amazing this forum is, I discovered it this week and wanted to share my story here; a place I never dreamed existed.
Just some background, back in 2012 going into my senior year at Berkeley, a switch must have clicked in my brain and I desperately wanted long hair. Something about the natural capacity of humans to do so made so much sense to me that I lost sleep wondering why I had short, albeit "normal" length hair.
That year was pretty rough and I faced a lot of pressure from my conservative first generation asian dad, who told me "we aren't those kind of people". My good friends didn't ostracize me per se, but I could tell they only tolerated my "phase" because they respected me. It didn't help that I can't grow any facial hair whatsoever, so by 10 months, entering the awkward phase felt like just that: awkward. By the beginning of 2013 I chopped off a year's worth of growth, and went back to my default short hair length. Back to normal for everyone else, but not where I wanted to be.
So here I am again, 2 years later, a young working professional in San Francisco, ready to do right by me and get the chest length ponytail that I've been dreaming about for 2 years! I absolutely wish I had found this place sooner and I'm sure it will be a huge morale booster when the times get tough.
I'm not a huge believer in fate or destiny, but I do think that there is a right time to do things. For me, now is the right time because I'm finally confident enough to make decisions for myself in my life. I have a goal, and I know what it will take to reach it. I don't regret attempting to grow my hair long that first time, because it taught me exactly how people will respond during what will likely be a 3 year transition, and how to maintain my composure. Admittedly, this time I will have to be more superficial about styling it and trimming my hair in a way for it to grow aesthetically, in order to keep some resemblance of professionalism, but it will be worth it when I reach my goal.
Sorry if this is longer than most posts! I haven't read everything yet, but I have 2+ years to do so ^.^. I want to say that I can't wait until my hair brushes my shoulders, or until I can officially tie it in a ponytail again. But that's something I learned, I CAN WAIT.
Welcome to the forum, Sheepman George!
You story sounds familiar to most of the posters here, as most of us have gone through the exact same thing.
Parents/spouses/friends who do not undertand our wish for sporting long hair, being pressured to cut it, doing so, and then realizing again that we must endure and overcome the odds in order to be born again from the ashes, the mighty phoenix we've been craving to be all along.
Would love for you to check out my youtube channel, where I, as long as tens, if not hundreds others, are going through this journey of growing long hair together!
If you ever feel comfortable with it, I strongly suggest you start documenting your own jorney, and post a monthly video of your experienc. It will help you TREMENDOUSLY on this journey!
Good luck, and welcome, brother!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUJDBeXBMJ_Yggy80a7cSAg
Over the years I grew and cut my hair at least 3 times before realizing that being a long haired person is simply who I am. We all have to make certain concessions to society, but for most of us, hair length doesn't have to be one of them. Eventually you will integrate wearing long hair into your lifestyle and personality. It will just be a part of you and those around you will accept it. It's just transition periods that are difficult. You are young and going through a lot of transitions anyway, so it's easy for something like your hair to fall victim.
Hang in there and we'll be here for you, George.
I think it is time that we change the definition of "professional" to meaning the following: producing quality work in an up-right manner while respecting the needs and boundaries of the individual producing the work. I am tired of "professional" meaning European dressed xerox attack of the clones copy original. We live in North America (you and I do any way) darn it. Dress for the weather and health not another continent. I studied in Germany for a year and I can say that in that climate business suites are the correct dress climatically speaking, San Francisco and Pennsylvania, not so much. Additionally, we need to get rid of the idea that hair controls quality. One is hired for their brain or brawn or combination of both. Hopefully we can get rid of stereotyping of intelligence and quality of work being linked to hair type.
I do think the term "professional" when it refers to apprearance is a bizarre concept. I've had bosses complain about the length of my hair while they sport this massive comb over going practically from one ear to the other. You've got long hair going from ear to ear and you have the nerve to complain about how long my hair is? So his combover is 12"-14" long and he is complaining about someone having long hair going 12"-+4" down the back. I've never understood that. Or they'll complain that your clothes are not "professional" while they are wearing they
are wearing puke greeen pants (Think of the Exorcist), or usliest looking tie on the planet, etc.
And then there is the dressing for the weather thing. it's 95 degrees F and the dew point is 77. And when they are pleading with folks to conserve electricity, they'll be wearing a three piece suit and have the air conditioning blasting. And they complain about how high the electric bill is.
Fortunetly for me I'm 59 years old, have a job now where I can wear the cloths I want and wear my hair the way I want. Most of the time my hair is down and loose, and i'm wearing cut off shorts.
Welcome to the journey as you enter the hair farming industry.
It's a great journey that is well worth it. I started growing my hair long in 1964 (The Beatles), and I fully enjoy my long hair today just as much as I did all those years ago.
I studied in Germany for a year and I can say that in that climate business suites are the correct dress climatically speaking, San Francisco and Pennsylvania, not so much. Additionally, we need to get rid of the idea that hair controls quality. One is hired for their brain or brawn or combination of both. Hopefully we can get rid of stereotyping of intelligence and quality of work being linked to hair type.
So glad my employer is in the professional = paid to do a job, and professional conduct = shows up to do the job properly. And the respect I get from my students, my coworkers, and my bosses is based on my abilities and skill at doing my job, not the fact that this morning I happen to look hung over, my hair is a mess, and my uniform isn't pressed.
Hey Sheepman George,
Welcome to the tribe, bro.
You're a long hair, a born long hair. It's part of who you are. We embrace you as one (1) of us. Embrace yourself with your long hair.
I'd like to see a pic if you feel comfortable with doing that. We're here to encourage, advice, and to share the journey.
Your long haired bro,
Raymond
Hey George,
There are several of us who live in SF or nearby, and we get together sometimes. We may go for lunch somewhere, sit around and talk, and of course shed in our food! [wink] Besides myself, look for posts from Ken in SF, Trolleypup, and Absalom. All of us post regularly, and there are others who drop in from time to time.
We don't usually mention when we get together on the forum here, so write us if you'd like to meet us. We've traveled that road you are traveling now.
Bill
Well, not all of us have...I had it lucky and easy. But we have at least grown through the awkward stage.
At least you have made it to SF where even the most straitlaced employers are unlikely to freak out over well kept and groomed longer hair.
Yeah, Trolleypup, you grew up in San Francisco, you lucky stiff. We now can read how a lot of San Francisco longhairs were able to avoid the persecution that was "the draft", too. San Francisco was an island of sanity back then. We all knew San Francisco existed, of course, but few of us elsewhere, without there being an Internet, knew how sane it was. Unable to connect with others like ourselves, most of us suffered alone, and the anti-longhair persecution we confronted in solitude was pervasive.
Bill
Welcome to the board George.
You'll find that most of us understand/lived what you're going through. My wife & kids still don't like my longer hair (close to mid-back)! But I love it...and that's what really matters. They are starting to come around...slowly but surely.....Your family & friends will too...just give them time!
A.D.
I didn't get the courage to begin growing mine until I was 36. I sure wish I had grown it when I was younger (I've wanted long hair from as far back as I can remember!)
Good for you growing it while you're younger.
You must reach a point in your life where you don't care what people think of your hair....and are able to take negative comments (especially from family). I didn't reach that until age 36...support from my wife, and an established reputation in my profession helped.
Hopefully you have some positive supportive support from friends and family....but you can't please everyone!
Hi Sheepman George, I am glad that you found us, and welcome!
This board has been such an encouragement to me as we all have similar stories. I got my last cut when I was 41, then after 3 years of people telling me I needed a hair cut, I started wearing a ponytail at work, then they got the hint... 2 more years later I am still wearing it, even though balding, (and slow growth rate.)
I regret cutting in my youth, but I can't go back....
Do it while you're young.. Take Care.. The Spaf Man
I was 58 when I began for the first time to grow my hair long. I wish I had done it years ago so congrats on having the courage to do what I was unable to do for many years. Don't give up!!
First off - as you grow through the process, and your hair gets long, your confidence in who you are will increase... your dad and others will see it... but, you are right- it takes time.
I, like Mike, did not start realizing I could do something I wanted to do since i was a teenager and now at 58 and loving the new found freedom and confidence in myself that comes with the patience to grow my hair longer... longer... longer...
Keep coming back and share with us a picture when you get around to it.
Hi Sheepman George,
First of all, WELCOME to MLHH!!!
Thanks for the great post and nice introduction, I really enjoyed reading your story! I live in the SF Bay Area also; so maybe someday we'll get a chance to meet up in-person somewhere, as occasionally we have local longhair meet-ups.
Anyway, again, I really enjoyed reading your comments and history. I'm sure a lot of us can relate to what you said -- I know I do, for example... and I greatly look forward to seeing pics of your hair growth progress over the next few months, I'm sure you'll find it a joy as your mane gets longer and loooonger!!
Take Care,
Ken in San Francisco