new thread
A new housemate moved in last week, with long hair, dreadlocks. I caught him the other day at liberty with my shampoo (theres a cupboard in the shared bathroom with shelves where we keep our bathroom stuff), I told him off for using it and told him to get his own and to stop being a scumbag. He denied using it and promptly yelled at me to get lost in the most un-endearing terms possible. A few days later I go to wash my hair; shampoo, conditioner etc. After i rinse the conditioner off I notice that my hair is feeling very unusual. It's very dry and brittle. I then see a new (yet empty) bottle of nair (hair removal cream) that wasn't there the other day, I have a smell of my conditioner and I can definitely tell there was a more acrid smell to it. It's not highly noticeable but it definitely smells different than it used to. I then smell the nair bottle and it has that strong acrid smell that is also evident in my conditioner, The realization of what this scumbag housemate has done hits me so unbelievably hard and I frantically rinse my hair out several times with cold water.
At the moment my hair is still very dry, it's knotting so fast i cant keep up, frizzing out of control, it's also very fragile that if i fingercomb my hair any knots just snap my hair, I dared to comb it and I pull out at least 50 broken strands.
When i look at it i can tell that it has thinned out from before though I'm probably very lucky that the nair was diluted into the conditioner, it could have been a lot worse.
I'm still hoping I wont have to cut it all off and start over, It will probably be salvageable if i treat it gently, it's not a complete eyesore, it just looks a bit thinner and frizzy, mostly on the hairline. Damage or not I'm so mad at this guy, there isn't a single person I hate any more at the moment, there should be a special place for hell in people like this.
He used my shampoo AND then put nair in it, what the hell, once wasn't enough? That's like punching someone and then kicking them when they are down. I never did anything but ask him to stop using my shampoo.
Also, I'm rather poor at the moment and the bottle of conditioner was large and it was half full when it was contaminated so I now have heaps of wasted conditioner that is worthy only for the bin and I cant afford any more for at least another week.
Also, not related to hair at all but I caught the same guy the next day eating a pizza I had made from scratch and put in the fridge for lunch the next day. I want to beat this person to within an inch of his life and then razor off all his precious dreads but I'm not the kind of person to do that so I'm just sitting here in my room just seething silenty writing long posts on the internet GRRRR
endrant
I'll just see what i can do to protect my hair from further damage in the meantime, mayonnaise maybe?
I don't know how far you want to take it, but if you could prove the Nair thing, I'm pretty sure that qualifies as assault. If it were me, I'd be calling the police.
I would say it is time to consider getting a new room mate.
Sounds like the kind of guy you don't want as a room mate.
Hopefully you're not in a college setting where you are
stuck with room mate they give you.
As far as assault, i'm not a lawyer nor do I play one on tv but it is certainly a dirty trick. I'm not sure what you csn do at this point. Maybe go to a local hair salon that you trust and
see what they suggest?
As far as shedding 50 strands of hair, bear in mind the normal head of hair sheds 100 strands a day.
Bill is a lawyer, although probably not admitted in the state where he lives (California) or wherever the OP lives. He gave up the law long ago, and the OP is not his client (which renders it not legal advice, strictly speaking).
However, I would pay heed to what he says. If he says that the housemate can be kicked out immediately by getting a protective order, and that this bypasses tenancy laws, take it as gospel. And do it right away, before anything worse happens.
And of course, I have to add that I am not a lawyer. I am only a patent agent.
A new housemate moved in last week, with long hair, dreadlocks. I caught him the other day at liberty with my shampoo ... I told him off for using it and told him to get his own and to stop being a scumbag ... It's very dry and brittle. I then see a new (yet empty) bottle of nair (hair removal cream) ... I'll just see what i can do to protect my hair from further damage in the meantime, mayonnaise maybe?
wow - beyond comprehension = I feel for your plight - he's 'Gen-Y' for sure - turf the bludger to the curb ... now I know why I live alone - may I suggest coconut oil or olive oil treatments fortnightly - cheers & good luck with everything
MOTHER OF GOD! I'm speechless! My hair is practically my child! I can't imagine how you feel. If I were in your situation, I'd put him 6 feet under. Honest to God, I would. Oh my gosh, I can't believe the audacity. Though honestly, I -probably- wouldn't kill him. I would beat the living tar out of him though. Also, could we get a couple pics of your hair to see the damage? I still can't believe this. You've got to do something about this, it's not right to let him walk away unaffected by your loss. Normally I'm not the type for revenge, but when it comes to hair, I get sensitive. If I were in your shoes, the moment I realized what he'd done, I'd kick down his door, and bash his face in until his face was concave, and my fist was covered in blood, brain matter, and bone shards. My God.
I would suggest not doing anything rash. Getting rid of this room mate would be a great idea if you can, but beyond that i'd suggest avoiding killing him or beating the tar out of him. What he did was bad but you don't want to be in jail for many years. I'm not a lawyer nor do I play one on tv, but IMHO this definetly qualifies as assault. The problem will enter when they ask if you can prove this room mate did it. Did someone witness it? Can you prove he did it, that it wasn't someone else? Can you prove he bought/acquired the nair? Could you prove it wasn't contaminated at the store? These are all questions that will be raised in court. And then there is the matter of it's hair, would a jury vote to convict (especially if the jury is predominantly males with short hair? Would a judge with short hair convict? There is a good chance any judge/jury would be anti long hair on men.
I'm seeing what i can do to get rid of this guy or myself move out, in the meantime I've brought all my belongings into my own room.
And no I'm not going to actually beat him, I'm not the fighting kind and killing would be blowing this ridiculously out of of proportion by astronomical standards, not to mention rather stupid.
Court? probably not, yes my hair is very valuable to me, it's mostly still there. And in the end it would probably more trouble than worth, unless i needed my hair to make a living the court would likely throw the case out even if proof is there
At a bare minimum, go for the protective order. They are easy to get, they don't cost anything, you won't need a lawyer, you can get such an order immediately, and it will go a long way to secure your safety. Visit your local police station to get it.
Laws protect tenants, and it can take time and effort to get rid of one. A protective order will yank your case out from under that umbrella of laws that might protect him, and keep you from getting him out NOW, which is what you need. Such an order in effect says, "We will resolve any legal issues later, but for NOW, he's out of there.
Bill
MOTHER OF GOD! I'm speechless! ... I'd kick down his door, and bash his face in until his face was concave, and my fist was covered in blood, brain matter, and bone shards. My God.
O'Duinn - your hilarious - I giggled/guffawed & chuckled at your passionate description of justice / recompense & compensation = too funny ~~~:0)~ ... not minimising said heinous crime in any way ...
How about this sentence:
"That you be led to the place from whence you came, and from thence be drawn upon a hurdle to the place of execution, and then you shall be hanged by the neck and, being alive, shall be cut down, and your privy members to be cut off, and your entrails be taken out of your body and, you living, the same to be burnt before your eyes, and your head to be cut off, your body to be divided into four quarters, and head and quarters to be disposed of at the pleasure of the King's majesty. And the Lord have mercy on your soul."
I think the last time that happened in England was something like the beginning of the 18th century, but not for hair poisoning!
Anthony
* * *
My blog
Hi Anthony ... well it aint to far removed from what's going on around us now - just sayin' ...
wow, you really paint a violent picture there. That's exactly how I feel, it's not just the damage to the hair but the principle of his behavior, that is what angers me the most, In fact while I was out yesterday he went out later than me and he left the front door open and some things were stolen (none of mine, after the first time I took care to hide them), he has left it open before and I came sooooo damn close to acquainting his face with my fist.
also you wanted a pic, It's not very visible (thankfully) but this is what I have been pulling out every time I make a stroke or 2 with the comb
It's a huge amount compared to what normally gets pulled out. I normally only ever get 1 to 2 strands of hair when I comb
I don't know what the law says in the US (or over here for that matter), but it looks to me like a kind of deliberate poisoning to affect your health (your hair is part of you) even if not to kill you. It also seems to me to be like someone on a bus or in the street who cuts off you hair from behind.
Attacking that men physically would land you in trouble with the law, but I hope you can get rid of him and get him ejected from his lodgings. See whether you can get a legal case against him for something like assault or poisoning. What he did was dreadful.
I'm sure a good hairdresser will help find you a good solution so that you don't have to cut it off.
Good luck,
Anthony
My blog
Thank you for your kind words, I did not know that you could take someone to court if they cut your hair without consent, Is that really a thing in the US?
I hate this guy but I think taking legal action over some damaged hair is a tad overboard, I mean it really really sucks but it will grow back in the end, unlike say, an amputated finger.
In my post to this thread, I mentioned maiming someone (mayhem) versus simple battery (sometimes called assault). The difference between the two (one is generally a felony while the other is a misdemeanor) is whether the injury is permanent or long-lasting, versus likely to promptly heal.
"How long your hair was" would be the issue. If your hair was two inches long, it would surely be seen as battery. If it were three feet long and it takes six years to grow such, it would be a good candidate for a mayhem case.
"Which crime it is" is a judgment call. As one user posted, this decision would be made by a judge or a jury, and any bias such decision-maker would have would of course come into play.
Bill
What happened to you is horrible! Some men are replying that they'd beat the crap out of him, or do him other bodily harm. This would be easy to do, because everyone has to sleep sometime, and you could smash him pretty good before he knew what hit him. I can't say what I would do, but messing with my hair? That would for me would border on being a capital offense. It would be the same as cutting my face.
That said, "getting even" is not highly regarded in the law. Rage may get you manslaughter instead of murder, but rage isn't going to get you off scott free, whether the act be killing him or even something far less severe. O.J. Simpson went to a guy's house to "take back" stuff the he felt was his, and whether it was actually his or not, the act got him several years in jail. What you want is for him to land in jail, not you.
First of all, explore getting a "protective order". In most places, this is a court order that immediately separates people who live together and are not getting along to the point that violence is likely. In your case, it's gone beyond "likely", it's already happened. You may be able to get a protective order before the sun sets, and he'll be out of there immediately. The police will remove him, and if he violates the order, you can have him put in jail.
Second, there are extremely harsh criminal laws against adulterating food, medicine, and other products that are to be applied to the body. Such acts are generally felonies, because people have been poisoned and died from such acts. The police and prosecuting attorney in your jurisdiction may take great interest in discouraging such acts by coming down hard on him.
There are also the expected criminal offenses against maiming someone where injuries are long-lasting or permanent (quite harsh) and simple battery where any injuries are likely to promptly heal (less harsh).
All I've mentioned so far involve getting the police and prosecutors on your side. Their interest is that what he did was an affront to the peaceful public order of the state. What I say next you'd explore with a private attorney, who you'd have to hire, but if the guy has money, a lawyer may take your case for a percent of the winnings. This would not be "the state versus him", but "you versus him".
Third, you can sue him civilly for injury. He may not have any money now, but if you win a civil judgment against him, such are not dischargeable in bankruptcy. If he ever gets any money, ever, you can get your hands on it. Long after your hair regrows, you can still be ruining his life.
Throw the book at him, my friend. Good luck!
Bill
Actually OJ confronted the guys at a hotel room in Las Vegas.
He held them at gun point, hence the "kidnappning charge."
The stuff at that point was not his, he was under court order to
sell the stuff to pay off the multi million dollar judgement against him.
OJ is in his 60s now, for all intents and purposes it is as life sentence. And if you believe the tabloids he is on the verge of dying.
I agree on that part. My hair is an extension of my body.
Do you need some money to get some treatment oils or conditioner or to pay for salon help with your hair? As I recall, you have beautiful hair. Maybe us guys can pitch in and help you out financially to take care of your hair.
I can't think of anything worse than feeling unsafe in my own home because of someone else who is living there. I am sorry this happened to you. I sure hope you are not stuck in this situation with this guy long term
That's extremely kind of you to offer, I can probably make do with some good budgeting but if you really want to do so you are welcome to. I did take up an offer from TommyD who offered to send a bottle of coconut oil which I'm quite pleased about
I'm also moving into another apartment nearby that the same landlord also owns.
If he did this, it could have also caused blindness if you accidentally got it into your eyes. I would consult an attorney (some will give you a free consultation). What could happen if this played out in court (I did serve on a jury for six weeks as an alternate on a case where a store receipt helped convict the defendants) would be a store receipt showing the purchase of the Nair and the store cashier being a witness for the prosecution.
Prosecuting attorney: What is your name and occupation?
Cashier: I am ___ and I work at "The store where the Nair was purchashed" (likely a store near the apartment).
Prosecuting attorney: Were you working at __:__ when this receipt was rung up?
Cashier: Yes I was?
Prosecuting attorney: Do you remember who bought it?
Cashier: Yes, some guy with dreadlocks?
Prosecuting attorney: Would he happen to be in the courtroom today?
Cashier: Yes, he is sitting over there.
Then the suspect's defense attorney would ask some questions of the witness like "Did you see him mix the Nair with the shampoo?" which would be a futile defense because it is proven that he bought the Nair and only he had access to the apartment.
If you win the case (which you should) you could receive damages and the attorneys pay would come from a % of the judgement.
There are some flaws in this arguement. 1. Any room mates would have access to the apartment, the landlord would have access to the apartment, as would any workers hired by the landlord. 2. The product could have been compromised in the store, along the distribution line, or at the factory. (Think Tylonol). 3. You'd have to be able to prove he put the Nair in the product, a good attorney worth his salt should be able to cast reasonable doubt. Now just because the Nair bottle was on the sink doesn't mean the room mate did it. It could have been another room mate, the landlord, etc. You have to look at this case as the defense attorney and all the aguements that defense attorney could use to raise reasonable doubt. And where it is hair (that grows back) could the case be tossed out of court as being frivalous.
Finally you could have an absolute air tight case, but if the judge or jury dislike long hair on men your case could be sunk.
OMG, as fair as I know, the nair has in its chemical composition, a certain percentage of acid, which can be fatal if fallen in your eyes, what a douche
The thing is, try to do something to get him caught, fighting won't going to solve your problems, but make them worser than it already is, he's going to laugh at your face and you'll be sent straight to jail and we don't want that kind of thing to happen, maybe our friends from the Law side here on the board could help you.
I don't know how the law works in the US, but a similar case happened here in Brazil last year, a girl was thinking that his boyfriend was cheating her with her other housemate and what she done? Bought a bottle of Sulfuric Acid and waited for her to sleep and boiled a mix with hot water and acid and threw at her face.
Conclusion: The girl died in a couple of minutes and she confessed the crime and she caught 20 years of penitentiary.
Hope you can find the solution for this and make justice, because if I was you, I would already had lose my head and maded something worse, bought an itching powder and put on his pillow and see what happened on the next day, even washing it, it's hard to get rid of it, forcing him to cut his hair (But hey, don't follow my ideas, don't do something like that, you can be sent to jail).
Cheers and I am sure justice will be done!
So sorry this happened, hopefully nothing else happens until one of you moves out.... Take Care.. The Spaf Man
Man that is horrible, I'm so bummed for you. I'd immediately do something like coconut oil overnight or nights to try and get the moisture back in before the strands die...If you want to PM/email me your address I'll send you an extra bottle of coconut hair oil I've got "in stock".
-Tommy
Hi Stickeelion,
I can't really tell you what to do here. But I am very saddened by this situation! I sure hope you can get yourself away from this loser! I wish you nothing but good results in taking care of this! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for sure!
Ted
I'll write here to all of you as a lot of you were talking about taking the legal route and asking very similar questions it's easier than writing the same thing 20 times
About taking it to court: I don't think i'll take it to court, I feel I should be the better man and not make a huge deal about it (though not at all saying I'm not mad at that asswipe) and not to mention all the evidence, proof and paperwork needed for court, I say this as I have 1 year of growth so far which isn't heaps in terms of long hair, there is damage in how it feels and also slightly in how it looks but it's not extreme completely bald kind of damage, I have lost some hair but I haven't got any bald patches, however that being said if I had 3+ years of growth or something I would consider it.
My solution to the conflict problem at the moment is to move into another apartment that the same landlord owns, he's been very kind about it. Not to mention this housemate guy has also started causing other problems such as leaving the front door open and letting things get stolen. (not mine thankfully) this guy is a real piece of work.
Also thank you very much for all your kind words (and slightly more violent ones, Ó Duinn haha, I completely agree with you though) It really makes me feel better in knowing that my longhaired family understand how I'm feeling and that you're here to talk to. And very gracious thank you to those who offered to help.
Also there is some light at the end of the tunnel, The amount of hair that's coming out is reducing, so it appears to be improving... i think it's that most the weak hairs have already been pulled out leaving the less affected ones
When you finally move out, leave him a very similar gift that he left you. Just pretend to leave some brand new "conditioner" behind. He won't be able to resist free conditioner.
Sometimes one must take a dose of their own medicine before reality sets in.
Be careful. You don't want to end up guilty of the crimes we've talked about the bad actor having perhaps committed.
Self-defense is a very limited defense, and the passage of even a small amount of time weakens it. As self-defense, "revenge", particularly later, does't count. [grin]
Bill
Hey Stickeelion,
Don't fool around about this horrible situation with this slimy housemate -- at the very minimum, get the police on your side. At the very least, you should go to your nearest local police station, and ask them for advise. They will probably ask you to fill out some form(s), making it a police report on-record. IT'S WORTH THE TIME AND TROUBLE TO DO THIS.
As Bill suggested, the Police may suggest you follow up with a protective order.
Worry about the smaller details, later; just go and talk to the police NOW!!!!!!! Do NOT assume you can "work it out" peacefully with this malicious roommate -- he's already proven to you that he's a slimy snake, so believe that he can and will do WORSE...
My 2 cents, anyway.
My best to you!! (And I am so very sorry to hear about this horrible situation)
- Ken in San Francisco