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Hi there!
I hope it's everything alright with you, but not for me.
I was reading the sad story of stickeelion about the nair in the conditioner and not only maded me angry, but many of you too.
But this story that I'm going to tell now isn't as serious as his, but still it is something that is very bad.
As we all know, my relationship with my father isn't one of the best, especially what he have done to me in the past as all of you know.
Two days ago, my father was getting angry at me just for one reason, I didn't take a shower on the other day because we're having a water shortage around here in São Paulo, so I went to sleep and was going to take a shower tomorrow.
When I woke up, my father was looking me kinda strange and was very angry at me and already start shouting "WHY YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE SHOWER?" and I said "I didn't because there was no water and I was going to take a shower tomorrow in the morning" but there was no negotiation, he only said "You're going to wait for me in the couch, I wanna talk seriously to you and your mother" then like trying to be a good son, I've waited for him.
When he arrived at the couch, he turned off the TV and started talking:
"Look, I will be very clear to you, hereafter you will be in my rules and no negotiations, I was tolerating you with this beard and this hair so far, but after that, it was enough for me and I want you tomorrow to cut that hair and shave that beard, I make myself clear?"
and I said:
"No, sorry but the answer is no, I'm not going to do what you want, just to make you confortable, I'm the same guy, didn't changed a thing, just my appearence and why insisting in this conversation? I've said my final opinion, I won't go back and the answer is still no"
and he said:
"I'll just say one thing to you that is gonna hurt you more than me but the truth is, YOU ARE DISGUSTING, I'm sick of you, I'm ashamed to go out in the street with you and introduce you to my others friends, what will they think of me? Because of your appearance, they will think I'm a degenerate father who doesn't cares for his son? I never liked you, I was justing tolerating you all this time because of your mother and anyway, I'm going to say one last time, will you GOING TO CUT THAT HAIR OR NOT? IF THE ANSWER IS STILL NO, SEVERE ACTIONS I'M GOING TO DO ABOUT IT"
and I laughed at his face and said:
"C'mon, you're really worried about the opinion of others about you? Are they by chance paying your wage and your bills at the end of the month? And again, it could be something much more worse, can you imagine if I came home and talked to you I was gay and present to you my boyfriend? That surely would be much worse and would have some "reason" for discussion, but I'm straight and we're discussing this only because of the hair and beard? Ahh please, this is BS"
and he said:
"I see that we're not going to have an agreement here, I'm going to give you a deadline till Sunday, if you don't change your mind and do what I ask, you can grab your things and get out of my home and live in your office, I not going to tolerate you living under my roof like this and I'll say more, hereafter forget that I AM YOUR FATHER"
And what couldn't get any worse, my mother enters on the same wave as my father and try to make my head to change my mind, but this time I wasn't going to change my mind again like I did in three years ago, I'm already decided and I need to face the facts, if they really loved me, they would already accepted me the way I am, I'm tired of being something that isn't me and just a fantasy creation of the "perfect" son my father wants to show to his friends, the "perfect" family dream...
And now some curious facts, did you know that when he was 18, his brother was expelled from home for getting a girl pregnant? And 20 years after that, my uncle did the same thing to my cousin? My grandfather did the same thing to one of his others sons just because he said "I'm the only one around here sustaning this home with my money, you shouldn't say a thing for me". And now, the same story is repeating again, when I say he's just like a perfect copy of his father, we start fighting each other...
Since the conversation from this day, he refuses to speak to me, even to sit on the table when I'm drinking my coffee.
I only said one thing to my mother: "When I find a job, I'm going to pay my debts with him, rent a place and I'll get out of here, I think both of you will be happy when I leave, but I won't give my new address when I leave, for neither of you"
Damn, I'm already getting tired of this BS, I can't sleep well knowing that my mother, MY MOTHER betrayed me and backstabed me to my father, seriously, it's giving me insonia, I never woke up more than 2 or 3 times in the evening.
Later in our conversation, he said something like: "Why you doing all of this? Are you following other peoples thoughts, is that it?"
For reasons like this, I think I don't want to get married and have a son, because I don't want to repeat the same thing my father is doing to me, just like his father did to his brother and him, it's just like a "curse", my mother said that I'm not going to be like him, but who knows? Maybe when I get old I can be exactly like him, I don't want others to suffer for futile reasons, I want to live alone until my final days so when I die, neighbors will only notice two days after.
I tried everything to contain the situation but it seems it was all in vain, I guess I won't have other choice but to move to the office, since I'm not going to give up my "dignity" and be something I never was for years, when I was 14, I always said that my father was a dictator to my mother and she never give a damn for it, now both of them are against me, thanks to my father's manipulation.
I'm really without support from my family, the only one who tries to help me with this is my grandmother, she can't do much, but just a little already helps.
It's sad, but I need to face those facts, I'm shocked, really...
I think the solution to the problem lies in the way you worded the thread.
You cannot be backstabbed directly to the heart, because your spine is in the way.
You seem to have enough spine to stand up to your father, so you have enough spine to support yourself. Move. Get a job.
Yes, you'll have to lower your standard of living for a while. If freedom from oppression is worth that for you then it's a small price to pay.
I had to tough adolescence. A domineering father was only part of the problem. The day I turned 18, I moved out.
This was back in the 70s and we were a solidly middle-class family in a desirable suburb of prosperous industrial city.
I could afford only a room in a rooming house in a not-so-nice section of the city. It was $3 a night, with a discount to $50 a month if your paid for the month in advance, which I eventually was able to afford. I ate in church basements. When I was able to work two minimum wage jobs to support myself, I did it with gratitude.
I lived like that for several years--I don't remember exactly now. While there were many challenges, I had the strength to conquer those that required strength, and the flexibility to go around those where that was the better strategy. Those proved to be valuable lessons in life.
Twelve years after moving out, I bought my first house. I had a job in IT management, and a partner.
De-industrialization hit our city really hard. We now rank in the bottom five of cities in the US. I eventually lost everything, and that's where those lessons in resiliency came into play.
These days I work for the city. I own bicycles instead of cars. I rent an apartment smaller than my old two-car garage. I have six figures in the bank. I contribute to charities which help the working poor.
I am happy.
Many years after moving out, my parents and I repaired our relationship, to the extent that we could. I hear from them every month or two, and spend holidays there for dinner, and I have a space reserved for me in the family plot. It's about the best it will get, and that's fine with me.
I understand that the details of living in the 2010s in Brazil are different from those of the US in the 1970s. But I also think that someone with a spine supporting a good head on their shoulders can do well--or at least well enough--starting from zero.
Yes I know, sorry I've used the wrong words but I was kinda sleepy when I maded this thread.
The thing is, I can handle myself alone but the thing that makes me sad is the fact I was hoping he's gonna change but I was wrong, he didn't changed a bit since my 5 years old.
One thing I never think it would happen is my mother siding with him.
I'm trying to find a job, I've already sent my resumes for every kind of job here in town and in the neighbors ones, cleaning floor, security, janitor, basically everything, even if it's not from my computers area.
The main problem around here in Brazil, I don't know if any other countries are happening this but, the main problem is "experience", even if you show for the employers that you can do the job, they want the "Experience" in your "Portfolio of work", the most ironic thing is, for acquiring "Experience" you need to work and for working, you need "Experience".
I already had several interviews but when they ask for the "Experience" they look at my "Portfolio of Work" and when they see is blank, they refuse to hire me but I hope I'm going to find one soon.
I know what you mean about the experience issue. Same thing happens in Argentina.
Not sure how old you are, but you should probably apply for jobs especially designed for people who are looking for their first job ( the first thing that comes up to my mind is call centers, in general they hire students, offer part time shifts and pay well. Also, you can learn different tasks while working there, I think it is a good start up point).
When I graduated from high school I had no working experience at all but since I am fluent in English I was able to get my first job in a call center servicing customers in the USA and Canada. That skill (English fluency) allowed me to have several interviews and different job offers to choose from. I remember having 2 or 4 interviews in just 2 days.
Through the years I was able to improve my English even more and gain different skills. Right now I have a stable work at an IBM site here in Argentina (where I have been working for the past 6 years now and I don't even have a university degree, but I do have experience and skills for which I was hired).
I still live with my parents because I am comfortable at home. The money I would use to pay for rent I use it to travel every year to wherever I want and for myself (My parents don't even let me help pay the house bills, food, etc!). Eventually, hopefully next year, I will move out and live alone - even though my parents would feel really sad with me doing that! -
Argentinean culture is very similar to the Italian culture. For us the family is the number one thing. It is very common for a 30-year-old to remain in their parents house. It is not very common for an 18-year-old guy to move out and do his own life. In my country, people in general move out from their parents house when they reach 30 years old - or even more! And that's because families tend to be very overprotective.
Hope you these tips help.
*I'm 20, I already finished the high school in a couple of years ago, getting "first jobs" in this age is something rare, because they only want teenagers for the job, something between 14 or 16 years, they expel you from the job when you reach 17 because of the conscription phase.
*Brazilian's culture is a mix of everything, some families live with their sons until they die and some others wants to "expel" their sons when they reach the adult phase, when they turn 18.
*In my case, my father is the kind of person that thinks "If my father was like this to me, I'm going to be the same with my son" and not the opposite that we want our sons wishing not to pass for the same things we went trought, always wishing the better, not the worse.
Well you inadvertently answered a question for me. I've been
wondering how someone as young as you could do so much traveling.
So the money you save from not paying rent allows you to be
Argentina's ambassador to the world for long hair on guys! ;-)
Yes!
There is also a sad reality that people outside of Argentina may not understand.
Argentina's inflation is around 40% this year ( Last year the inflation was of 30%, this year it is calculated to reach 40%).
The inflation makes it cheap for us to travel outside of our country. Traveling within our country is even more expensive than going to Europe or the USA because you guys have almost no inflation in comparison to us.
Our local prices are as high as those in big cities like New York, London or Tokyo.
The first time I visited the USA last year, I spent 1000 dollars in less than 30 minutes in a store in New York City because the prices - in comparison to Argentina's prices- were super low. Buying clothing here is more expensive than buying clothes in New York or London. So I no longer buy clothing in local stores and ONLY buy clothes when I travel abroad.
An Argentinean with some extra "pesos" will not save them because eventually the inflation will "eat" the value of that money, so most people try to spend that money in buying physical assets to protect their money from the inflation, others decide to use their extra money and travel the world. But nobody wants to save in local currency because it loses value every single day.
Also, saving money in a foreign currency is restricted. For you to be able to convert your argentinean pesos into a stronger currency (such as US dollar or Euro) you have to ask for permission to the Government.
Each month the government authorizes every person a limited amount of foreign currency. You can't go to an exchange place and exchange your money like you normally do in the USA .
Argentinean salaries (in USD) are the highest in LatinAmerica , not because we are rich, because the inflation is very high. That makes us a less competitive country because nobody wants to come here , settle a company and pay such a high salary .
For example, with ONE Argentinean BASIC salary you can pay 3 Mexican salaries.
Yeah they keep saying we have no inflation. A trip to the grocery store, a look at rents, a look at buying a house,
a look at buying a car, etc. will cure you of that notion really fast. They lie when they give us the inflation figures.
They don't have a tax on what you bring into the country?
Of course companies will take their jobs to countries like Viet Nam where they pay employees 28 cents an hour.
Inflation in the U.S. is spotty. Some areas have higher prices than others, and some commodities are cheaper here than in other places. Real estate here in San Francisco has gone nuts. We got our house in a working-class neighborhood 32 years ago, and now it's worth ten times what we paid for it. Mark Zuckerberg, who owns Facebook, just paid ten million for a house on our street, just a few blocks from here. There are other towns in the U.S. where the price of houses has hardly varied in decades.
On the other hand, clothing here is a lot cheaper than in other places. We had some friends from France come visit us a few years ago, and after they left, we found all of their clothes in our trash. They had replaced their entire wardrobe while here with new stuff that was way cheaper than what they would have paid in Europe.
When I lived in El Paso, we'd cross the border and get the impression we had crossed it in the wrong direction. Most of the stores on the south side of the river had signs in English, and they were selling stuff to Americans that was cheaper in Mexico. And on the north side of the river, just about everything was in Spanish, providing great deals to Mexicans.
Some things, such as electronics, and Internet and phone service, have gotten way cheaper. TV sets that cost $5000 ten years ago now can be had for a tenth of that. It used to cost several dollars for a phone call of a few minutes across the country. Now such calls are generally free.
When I went to college in the 60s and 70s, tuition was a great bargain. Now, I don't know how young guys do it. Going to college is ridiculously expensive.
Taxation can also affect prices. Cigarettes are very expensive in some places and very cheap in others. The reason is how much they are taxed.
So people talk about so-many-percent for inflation, but it's much more complicated than that.
Bill
Ah yes the old catch 22, you can't get a job without experience and you can't get experience without a job. Always has been a problem and always will be.
As far as dad goes, i'm 60 years old now and would advise
bite the bullet and attempt to follow dads rules as much as you
can.
The day will come when you can move out, get a place of your
own, and live off the money you yourself make. You would be wise to attempt to keep good relations with your parents and
siblings if you can. If you cut off relations with them now
you may have deep regrets in later years (like when your parents die.) You don't want to be in a position where you hear from
the grapevine that your mom or dad died ten years earlier and you didn't know about it or get the chance to say whatever you wanted to say. Parents/relatives can be very infuriating but how do you want things to end up they eventually die?
At 60 years old i've had alot of relatives and friends die and
one of the worst things is to find out years later that they died.
Only you can find the balance between cutting off all relations with your family and sticking up for yourself when it come to things like growing your hair.
Now one of the best things you can do is go to school, learn a trade, get a good job that pays well, and prove to your dad that you succeeded. Once he sees that he may (emphasis on the word may) conceed that despite your long hair you made a success of your life.
Sorry to hear of your problems. At least you are old enough to have the ability to fight back to the extent you feel that is best. You can be thankful for that, and for your health. With good health, and that involves both physical and mental health, as an adult you should do fine. For many of us, keeping our hair is part of assuring mental health, so keeping your hair can be "fighting for yourself".
I must partially disagree. It depends on your situation with them. My mother was abusive to the point of violence, and even after decades she never came around to an accepting point of view. When I cut off all contact in 1991, it was one of the best decisions for my own mental health that I ever made. It's not healthy to keep kowtowing to people who beat you.
Been there, done that, don't regret it. I heard from a next door neighbor kid who googled my name and wrote me with his condolences a week after she died in 2009. He saw it in the paper. I don't live there anymore, so I would not have seen it.
They ended up in the best way I could hope for. She is now under six feet of earth where she will never again abuse me or anyone else. She incessantly nagged my father. Now she is lying next to him for eternity, but he is lucky. She can't talk anymore.
Or, it can be one of the best things to find out.
However, if one end of a scale is unmovable, it will never balance, so just walk away from it.
No, don't do those things for your dad. Because of all his hate, he doesn't mean crap to you anymore. Do them for yourself. I long ago quit caring what people who hated me thought of me. If you let "what they think" bother you, you are the one who is hurt. That's their mission, not yours. Don't help them with it.
You are an adult. You now own yourself. Do what is right for you. Many of us have traveled that road, and we support you. Good luck, man!
Bill
so many sombre stories lately
anyway, here's my 2 cents, moving out was one of the best things i ever did, I was 19 when I did it which was when I went to uni (not there anymore, I'm 21 now, I didn't like it and I quit to move to a maritime college or a trade, still waiting for interviews, I'm still having thoughts on what could have been had i taken a different path, but that I guess is part of life no matter what I choose)
Now my mother is a single mother and she is far too overbearing and strict, however I know that she has done a lot for me when I was younger and she does have my best interests in mind, such as trying to get me interested in university and providing healthy food and doing the work of 2 parents. However she also did really crap things like 4pm curfews that reduced by 1 hour every minute i was late and i was never allowed internet at home, so many topics were taboo etc. I HATED it.
moving out allowed me heaps of freedom and i discovered more about my self in the first year of moving out than i ever knew in my 19 years before. However, I did keep in mind what she had done to help me so i do keep in touch, the relationship has changed more from a mother/child relationship to more of a friendship like you would have with your mates as you're not around them 24/7. It's good but she can still get overbearing but I can just back off for a while since i have my own place to go to and it's great.
It can get tough being alone if you are in a spot of unemployement like I am at the moment as you don't have your parents safety net but I feel it's worth it
My brother however is 20 and he still lives at home, he has a job, income, and is very responsible (probably more than me) but he still has to live by her rules of curfews and no internet as she has a real control problem and he hates it
so in a sentence, Move out as soon as you can afford it, but keep in touch with your parents as the relationship may be different and more on your terms, your dad should not be able to have any say about your hair if you are not living under his roof.
Respectfully, I disagree.
When things come out like that from me, I've found it's my subconscious speaking to me. Perhaps it was the same for you too.
I completely understand the feeling of betrayal. That comes through perfectly in what your wrote.
What I was saying was that in addition to what your conscious mind wanted to say, there's a little Post-It Note there from your subconscious showing the way out.
My best protection from life's troubles, is my spine. It's what lets me stand up for myself.
its all very sad,,, I went through the same thing,,, u can pick your friends but not your relitives,,,if u give in you will never forgive yourself,,,in todays world different things, mean different things, to people,,, we are, who we are,,,where I live people, frown on people who DARE TO BE DIFFERENT,,,, keep your head up ,, get a job, move out,,,get your life in order,, be yourself,,, today I have hair 6 inches beyond my my shoulders,,, and prowd of it,,,
Dear Guilherme S,
As a dad of grown sons, my heart is so sad to read what your father has said to you - and you are right, for him to care more about himself than you is just a heartbreaking backstab. I am so sorry. You do not deserve to be treated this way. I imagine some of this is cultural, but I also know that it is hard for some men to let go of what they have in mind for their sons. Please do one thing, above all, and that is "break the chain of abuse that the men in your family have put on their sons". I hope you will decide to stand strong.
Dear Guil. - your testimony above made me cry: ( quite literally ) - as I too have had this betrayal & am estranged from my father & only brother - my mother: ( whom is quite ill now ) is the only family member I see - & I too will not have children: ( for fear of passing on soul-destroying family disfunction: ( especially father-son dysfunction ) that leave deep wounds that can never heal: ( not in this life-time anyways ) - as a result I have gone on to strive & succeed to some how gain approval, acceptance, acknowledgement, validation: ( to pass the test - pass the grade - to be rubber-stamped ) - but to no avail - the up side is I've become very strong - the down-side is: ( despite many friends ) - I've become 'steely' & family betrayal has destroyed my trust in others & I am constantly questioning the motives, intentions & agenda's of others - just know I feel deeply for your journey - their is no more painful path to tread = deep sympathies & very big & sincere hugs for you CEM.
You have always been kind to me when posting to this forum. It is very difficult to give advice, not knowing all the circumstances and consequences of decision made on the basis of other people's advice. All I can give are my impressions.
Your father seems to be more concerned for himself than your happiness and what makes you happy. He seems to fit the profile of an abuser, "laying down the law" for his own power and self-image. You clearly need sympathetic friends and relatives.
That being said, when I was living at home and under 18, I was not allowed to grow my hair beyond a certain length that was fashionable in the 1970's. It was not an issue for me then, so I simply complied. At the same time, my parents (my father is still alive) were rightly concerned for the happiness of their children and were not abusive. You need to discern whether your father is concerned for your happiness or only for his social image.
You have to make your own decisions, but know that we on this forum empathise with you and wish you the best. The best advice seems to be to have your own income, somewhere to live and a way of communicating with your mother independently of your father. If your father is violent with your mother, report him to the police. The alternative is complying and waiting until you are financially independent - but one can wonder what your father would require next.
Good luck.
Anthony
My blog
Please know that the parent-child relationship is a difficult one to work out as the child grows and becomes independent. Many adult children struggle to form a constructive relationship with their parents, and some bury their parent without ever having succeeded. When that happens, it can only be called tragic. It took me until my 30's to make peace with my parents, but it was SO worth it; to have no relationship with your parents, whilst it may be the only solution for some (for very few), is extreme and in a sense, a denial of who you are and whence you came.
As has already been suggested, a good relationship with your parents might not be possible until you are financially independent of them. It seems to be natural and usual to need to have SOME control over your offspring when you're supporting them. I find this playing itself out somewhat in my relationship with my own kids, ages 20 and 19. But believe me, it isn't over hair! :-)
Whether to make and raise children of one's own is a personal decision, but you should not fear it just because your own relationship with your parents is unsatisfactory. You may well have internalised the lessons of your own parents, and that will make you a wonderful dad! In any case, your age is far too soon to make final decisions for the rest of your life. Take advantage of your youth to 'try on' various options, to imagine your life playing out in different ways. Allow yourself time and space to grow and to express your own independence before setting your intentions in stone.
All the best to you as your navigate the 'treacherous' shoals of young adulthood!
Don
I assume you are answering Guilherme and not me. I am middle-aged, married and childless (my wife's infertility). I would have allowed any child of mine freedom in everything other than hurting other people or breaking the law.
I was no exception as a teenager, but I never broke with my parents - but they were not abusive or manipulative. They were old-fashioned and "hard", as they were from the "between-the-wars" generation. My mother is now dead, and I have some wonderful conversations with my father.
I am sure that Guilherme will get a better perspective on things when he gets a job and leaves the nest. Things are different then, and the relationship rebuilds itself in a different way. I'm sure he will meet a girl all in good time and build a new family, bringing in tolerance where he didn't find it with his own parents. Do good in the place of other people's evil.
By the way, Doninoz, well done for your own hair. It looks wonderful.
Anthony
* * *
My blog
Yes, sorry for the confusion, Anthony! I know that you're my age at least and have already passed through the stages of life I referred to! I was definitely writing for the benefit of the OP, Guilherme, and hope I wasn't sounding overly 'preachy' at that, although it kinda goes with the territory...
Thanks for the hair encouragement, and you too are getting there! All the best...
Don
Thanks for the kind words. My hair gets quite oily after 4-5 days, but I restrict my use of shampoo to once a week.
I went to my mother-in-law's birthday party a week ago, and the women present were quite impressed with my hair - those who hadn't seen me for a year. "You have good volume", they said. I'm lucky for my age! People are quite tolerant in France. My brother-in-law works as an engineer for Total, the big oil company, and they have strict hair and dress codes. I am glad not to have that kind of job, even though I don't have his salary. He finds my long (lengthening) hair amusing. My other brother-in-law is a bank manager. It must be quite a revelation to them!
No, you weren't "preachy" at all. We need to give advice to the youngsters, because I remember how one can get an idea in one's mind and ignore the consequences of a one-sided judgement. They need to see both sides of things before making their life plans. There is always a middle way, to keep one's hair and not destroy one's family relationships. There needs to be give and take, cut and thrust, just as in the world at large.
You have a good way of seeing things.
Anthony
* * *
My blog
Hi Guilherme,
The conversation between Anthony and doninoz (below) is not only a very interesting read, but also one that you might find very helpful.
When I was a teenager, my dad would absolutely not allow even the slightest bit of length on me or my brothers' hair. I had to leave home at age 18 in order to grow my own hair out over my ears (and for many years, that's the longest that my hair ever got, due to job "dress code" restrictions at the time).
My dad died a few month before my 23rd birthday; but I at least stayed civil and polite towards him, even though he absolutely HATED seeing my long-ish hair on me. But once I lived on my own and earned my own income, there was nothing he could do about it.
As we grow older and gain more life-experience, we also gain perspective on our own unique individual upbringings, and begin to understand our parents better.
Whatever is truly WRONG and ABUSIVE, remains so -- there is no valid justification on Earth for either parent behaving in a bad way like that. Period!
But there might be a few things that right now may seem a bit "cruel" or "unfair" (like your dad wanting you to get a job and move out of his house), that many years from now, you will maybe realize were a "blessing in disguise!"
As time marches on, the relationship between you & your dad may (or may NOT) improve and heal over the years; but for right now, it sounds like the 2 of you definitely need some space & time away from each other... all the more reason for you to move out of that house ASAP, and to get far far away from that negative atmosphere!
Take Care, and my best to you!!
- Ken in San Francisco
Hi there Ken and to all of you, sorry if I was kinda late for replying this but I wasn't feeling good until the day my father said that to me.
I can't reply to everyone because it's too many replies but I want to answer all of them in this response.
I would like to thank all of you for the advices you guys gave to me, I see that everyone here has already went to the same road as I'm going and I enjoyed reading all the stories and advices from here, basically it reminds parts of my story.
I already maded my decision, since my father didn't changed his mind about following the rules, especially cutting my hair and the beard, I already arranged some space around here in my office and right now it's being my temporary "place" (I already moved my bed, but I can't move my wardrobe here because it can't get past throught the door since it's too tall), we didn't losed contacts yet, I'm trying to be tolerate until I can find a job, pay my debts and move into an another place.
I can only say a thing, only the time will tell me what to do, I can't rush doing the things desperately, maybe I can change my mind and in a distant future, try to make something for my life, like Anthony said.
When I was fixing a lot of computers, I've raised a significant amount of money in 4 years ago, something like $3.300, but I only received $1.800 (Converted from Reais to USD), because I was below 18 years old and can't open a bank account and for this reason, all that money was in the possesion of my father in which he deducted the bills and for helping in the house (mainly with house expenses, bills and etc.)and with that money I invested in my store making a new workbench, build a new computer from my own, bought a new printer, new monitors and even making it legally to be recognized as a "Store".
My sincerely thanks to all of you and big hugs to all of you that gaved me all those advices, it was not only really helpful, but maded me think in this difficult time.
Hi Guilherme S,
I feel for you as I read your post, I wish you the best, and that in time your father will respect your choices.
Take Care... The Spaf Man