Hello All,
I'm happy to have stumbled upon this website and to be making my first post after (2) years of experiencing my current hair woe!
Though I'm now 25 years old and have had long hair since I was 18, I never had to factor in shaving facial hair into keeping my longer hair looking nice. I know that seems odd but I think it's just something to do my with my family's lousy beard genetics (my father couldn't grow any proper facial hair until about age 30)
While I DO shave, I only tend to get really scraggly neck-beard hair, no mustache, and a terrible excuse for what "should" be sideburns.
Getting back to the issue that I originally stated I've had for around the past 2 years -
I would rather not have any real sideburns at all until I'm certain I can actually grow a beard. The reason for this is the hair tends to get real scraggly and unkempt (I don't actually own a beard trimmer after all....) As it has been a few years since I've had long hair and DIDN'T have to shave, I can't actually tell what should be my facial hairline and what's my actual hairline.
As a result of miscalculating this a few times while shaving, I end up trimming off too much of my actual hair resulting in TONS of little fly-away hairs that look absolutely ridiculous when pulled back in a ponytail. (I'm forced to use gobs of hairspray to hide this during these times.) This often results in me having to wait months for the fly-away hairs to grow long enough to be properly tied back. With this being a bit of an obscure issue, I figured a community dedicated to men with long hair (which I did not previously know existed) would be the best place to turn. I've agonized and struggled with trying to describe this issue to female hairstylists for awhile now which obviously did help as it's a non-issue for them.
* Attached is a photo of my hair from the side.
Any advice on the matter would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
- Joey
Hello All I'm happy to have stumbled upon this website and to be making my first post after (2) years of experiencing my current hair woe!...Getting back to the issue that I originally stated I've had for around the past 2 years ... As a result of miscalculating this a few times while shaving, I end up trimming off too much of my actual hair resulting in TONS of little fly-away hairs that look absolutely ridiculous when pulled back in a ponytail... Any advice on the matter would be greatly appreciated!: Thanks, Joey
Hi Joey - welcome aboard - 1stly:- I think you've done a smashing job - its very neat & tidy ... 2ndly:- yes - trimming your beard with long hair has inherent dangers - proceed with caution - I simply band my hair into a very tight & secure pony = then I trim my beard, with hair trimmers, on #4, being especially careful in the sideburn area - I stop when i get close to the ear & use scissors to trim & tidy up ( so as not to accidentally trim or cut long, head hair ) - i do this every 1 - 2 months: ( depending on my mood & season ) = good luck & cheers CEM. ~:0)~
It looks like your beard hair is of a different type than your head hair. This is actually quite normal. Some guys have the two almost match. Some have a wide variation between the two. The transition place is about half way up the ear for most guys, and that appears to be where yours is.
If a man has very little beard, and it's all located at the sides of his two ears, he may have two protruding gray wiry tufts there, one by each ear, while his hair is all long, straight, and black. That's the extreme, which you don't have, but be aware that is the end of the continuum of possibilities for "beside the ears" growth.
Your choices are:
1. To trim it so it LOOKS as long as the part in front of the ears that is higher up. That hair is part of your head hair, although the strands there may not grow very long. I emphasized "looks" because if it's wiry and the head hair lies down, the wiry area's hairs must be shorter to stick out from your head as much as the higher up hairs that are straight and lying down.
2. To shave the hair below mid-ear off. Then your hair will be like women have. They don't have beard hairs, so theirs stop mid-ear.
3. To just let it grow. This will look odd if it doesn't match anything. If you had a full beard it would be fine, being different from your head hair. But without a beard, it can look sort of clown-like.
The hairs in front of your ears in the upper half of that area are indeed part of your "hair", not your "beard", but those hairs often have a short terminal length. If you often do a ponytail, you may want to trim those so they ACT like hair of a short beard (just lie there as decoration), rather than trying to get them to hang out with the rest of your hair that is higher up. They just aren't "tall" enough to play with the big boys.
Most women have to deal with this same situation. Since they don't want to look like they are shaving, they usually opt for trimming, keeping some length.
You can easily see those hairs, so if you are having jitters going to a stylist for that area, just trim the hairs yourself. Then you will have complete control. What I've said above may help you decide how you want to trim there.
Bill
"I would rather not have any real sideburns at all until I'm certain I can actually grow a beard."
Those are definitely sideburns! I had longer sideburns for quite a few years, but got tired of them. I shaved them shorter and at a downward angle. I keep them trimmed shorter. I think it gives me a a very neat look.
You need to experiment and see what works for you. I have very fast growing head and facial hair, so your mileage may vary.
Hello Joey,
Welcome to the board.
What I did for many years before I was able to grow a decent beard, (well I had sideburns and a goatee but they didn't connect, which is still somewhat questionable even now that I am on the north side of 40) is to make the break between long head hair and shaved sideburns right where my glasses frames are. It seemed to me to be the perfect breaking point and gave me a constant guide to see whats what. If per chance you don't actually need glasses yet to see what you are doing, but would like to give this idea a try you could acquire a pair of reading glasses and just pop out the lenses.
Daniel