new thread
Also I double-dated with my new friend her boyfriend and her other friend.
The boyfriend is awesome.
"You look like a girl"
Hmmmmm............someone hasn't caught up with the fact that it is 2014 and many women (at least around here) have short hair.
Around here the vast majority of women have hair that is much shorter than mine.
I don't remember either of them making that comment (the "You look like a girl" slur).
- Ken (showing my blonde roots, I guess)
The price of wheat has just gone up in Tasmania, thanks to the Republican Tea Party recently winning their first ever ping-pong tournament; but don't let the lack of palm trees in Greenland get you down, as I hear it's a lovely place to visit this time of the year, unless you're not fond of fondue, which of course can scare the beejeezus out of you if you drive on the wrong side of the road, although the African safari we just went on had way too many imported Dutch tulips popping out of the ground...
Clear as mud? (LOL)
OK, I think it might be time for me to just go back to lurking again for awhile!
- Ken
It's the title of the you tube video. Scroll down to where you tube usually has the description of the video.
My wife went to get her hair trimmed this week, and now my hair is longer than hers. That is a nice thought!
Anthony
* * *
I feel really identified with this song.
People in general mistake me for a girl (no matter if they look at me from the back or from the front, during night or daytime). I have an androgynous/feminine look and long hair seems to emphasize that. Besides that, I tend to wear neutral colors and neutral clothes. I try not to wear baggy jeans because they don't look good on me so I go for skinny jeans instead.
Today I was in a pharmacy buying a few things that I needed. When I was paying I gave my credit card and my ID to the cashier. She looked at the credit card, read the male name and asked me "Is this credit cards yours?" and I was like " Yes " and then she looked at my ID and then looked at me again. She did not really understand what was going on but did not ask any more questions. That was fun to me though since it happens many times.
Not to mention the time I was walking down the Red Light District in Amsterdam this year and many many [young] men walking around not only mistook me for a girl but also for a prostitute and even asked me how much I cost - if you know what I mean- ( I have no clue what they had in their eyes ).
Last time I went to a nightclub I asked the security guy where the bathroom was and he pointed to the ladies bathroom. And guess what, I went into the ladies room hahah. None of the girls inside the rest room knew I was a guy.
These situations really don't bother me for different reasons:
1- I am a person who never gave a f* about what others thought.
2- Women are pretty. So if people mistake me for a women, then that is a nice compliment to me. I don't take it as something demeaning.
3- I am sexually attracted to men and it is fun to see how even "super macho men" approach to me in flirty ways (and a lot of them, don't even care that I am a guy because they don't see me as such).
I would recommend people to worry LESS about others' opinion and CARE more about being happy. At the end of the day nobody pays for your bills but you, so why caring about others?
Great post Dave - I concur + I had a chuckle too cheers CEM.
This usually happens to me about three or four times a year.
Most of the time it's when someone sees me from the back. There was one exception in August at the encampment for our civil war group, one old guy saw me from the front and mistook me for a woman. He was all apologetic and should have known better, the men and the women meet seperately at these things.
I'm 60 years old, i'm almost always wearing cut off shorts,
am 5'9" with a rather slight build. You'd think that between the moustache, the hairy legs, and the all grey hair that it would tip them off that i'm male. I find it amusing. No matter what though, the hair will stay long. At 60 years old I don't care what others think, I'll wear my hair as I want to. Right now the hair is four inches above the waist.
I REALLY look like a guy, and no one ever mistakes me for not being one, but I really empathize with folks who get hassled for not meeting others' expectations about what they "should" look like. I identify with a certain subset of guys (now, you'll never guess it's "longhairs"!), and I feel very strongly about living my life in peace being such. Everyone deserves such peace.
One matter we all have to confront is a strong inborn tendency for humans to identify others as "100% male" or "100% female". Just like most gay people have to live with lots of straight people, people who aren't 100%-ers are going to find themselves mostly among people who are.
Most people never give much thought to the idea that some people may not be 100% male or female. They do what I do, and that is react to the immediate labeling that occurs internally upon seeing the image of someone. "If he looks like a guy, he's a guy."
Linguists have recorded someone saying "baa" and "paa", and then merged the two sounds together with a computer at various percentages. What they found is that people hear "baa" and not at all "paa" up to where they are hearing about 40% "paa". There's a brief zone of "not sure" answers, and at about a 60% mix, they only hear "paa". This is how deciding what the sex of someone you see is. Unless you are very good at being androgynous (in the 50-50 range) you will get read as one sex or the other. Everyone's reading of the sex of people is a bit different, so someone may get 1/3 "male" readings and 2/3 "female" readings, while he may get very few "I'm not sure" readings.
So if I misjudge someone, I don't let it bother me. It comes with the territory of being androgynous, and it is in that territory that they reside. If the frequent occurrence of that bothers them, they may choose to look more one way or the other to reduce the frequency of its occurrence.
I have a range of self-acceptability with my "look". We all likely do. Within that range, I feel comfortable and free to play around! Others should, too.
Bill
When I was younger I had similar experiences, I never let it bother me too much though. The only time that I questioned how my sex could have been mistaken is if the person was behind me to where they could have seen my very well defined triceps. I didn't realize how 'masculine' my upper arms looked when I was younger until one day one such incidence occurred. The middle-aged butch type female friend of mine that was there said, "How in the world could you think those triceps would fit anywhere on a woman?" After the other person left, my friend says to me, "I HATE people who just make stupid assumptions like that." I would have never remembered the incident if my friend hadn't made it so memorable.
I've always had facial hair because quite frankly I'm just to lazy to keep clean shaven every day, so I've never had anyone look me in the face and assume me to be a girl. Now I think I look old and rugged enough that even if I was clean shaven I couldn't be mistaken from the front. I haven't been mistaken from the rear in a long time either.
I actually don't like gender distinctions in communication. I look for the day when we can get to the point where we can have a polite way of saying 'hey you'without making a gender assumption. Which would also solve the problem of which pronoun to use when referring to transsexuals, different gender, or non-gender identified persons.
Daniel
-Who also doesn't care what others think, thinks all gender variations are pretty, handsome, gorgeous, etc., and doesn't care what the gender of the person is that is flirting with him.
Well, Dave - I've always thought your pictures showed you to be a very attractive guy - you could pay your bills with your face. Good post, all in all. I am working on not caring what others think... I'm making some progress, but I've got a distance to go.
I too love this guy, his message & his hair = you would love his 12. min. hair brushing video - its pure bliss - gr8. pic. - btw ! cheers
When he revealed his long hair was great! It reminded me of the old Five Man Electrical Band song (later also done by Tesla), "Signs", which had these lines:
And the sign says "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"
So I put my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that, huh, me working for you"
The rap lyrics in the YouTube video were hard to follow, but clicking the closed caption link (CC) revealed them, and unlike many YouTube captioning attempts, on this video they were superb.
That part of the post was hard for me to follow. It maybe needed more phraseology to explain who the referred-to people are?
Bill
Or you could just click on "More" below the video as this particular video includes the lyrics down deep in the description.
Daniel
The boyfriend is straight-up hawt lol.
And you look very nice, too. :)