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Hi I been wanting to grow long hair for few years and now and now finally growing it and I shaved it bald end of May. I am definitely serious and I don't want anything to get in my way since I kept changing mind in past. I have questions and wanted to know if anyone can help. I told someone that Im growing hair long and maybe to almost waist length and they said its too much work and if I can tolerate it since it takes too much time and years. The part that bothers me is they had long hair for years and it doesnt make sense why have long hair if they're complaining. I replied to him and said that anybody can do anything if they put their mind to it and thats just lazyiness if they complain about taking care of it. Also I know a guy who complained about long hair and its in the way and they wear hat all the time and why even have long hair if hiding it with hat. My questions is what you think about this and is it really that much work or is just the person? Because my mom and sister dont take that much on their hair and just wanted ot know if that person was jealous that I want grow long hair? Im serious and dont care if its alot of work since long hair is worth it to me and I dont want to give up but just was wondering.
.... Why are you fretting over waist-length problems, when you haven't even achieved shoulder-length yet? That would be like somebody who hasn't even finished High School worrying about the homework they might have to do in Graduate School.
Growing one's hair out is a looooong, slooooooow process. AND, like anything else that takes a lot of time to accomplish, there's a "learning curve" involved. One of the very first things you'll learn, in fact, is that there's a big difference in first-hand experience of growing your own hair out VS imagining it theoretically or vicariously. And the only way to learn those real-life real-hair lessons is to embark on your own hair growth journey from the very beginning, with whatever length you currently have now.... You have to go through the awkward stages first, in order to make it to shoulder-length, for example. Then it takes YEARS for your hair to even reach mid-back!
Don't worry about someone else's complaints about waist-length -- you haven't even made it over the rainbow to Munchkinland, let alone the Emerald City gates yet to see the great and powerful Wizard of Oz; so stop fretting over something waaay in advance of where you are right now, which is still in Kansas!
- Ken
One thing I would add is i've had long hair for 50 years now.
And throughout all the hassles and complaints i've thoroughly enjoyed having that long hair. Every time I went to school or elsewhere and someone complained about my hair i'd consider it a powerful incentive to not only keep the hair long but to let it grow longer. I thrived on bucking those complaints. It was in my DNA to grow my hair long, keep it long, and buck the complaints from the short haired sheep.
I started growing my hair long in 1964, now at the age of 60
my hair is still long and will remain long until the day I die.
For many years I got lots of complaints, but I stuck with it,
bucked the opinion of others, and kept the hair long. If it was 1964 again i'd do it all over again. For me having long hair is worth it, YMMV.
from an on-line dictionary:
Acronym Definition
YMMV Your Mileage May Vary
YMMV Yam Mild Mosaic Virus (virology)
YMMV Your Method May Vary
YMMV Your Market May Vary (advertisements)
YMMV You Make Me Vomit
How about:
"Your Mama Made Vittles?"
"Your Mistress Misses Viagra?"
"Yama Mama Moo Voodoo?"
(now where in the heck did that come from - LOL)
Re: What does, ''YMMV'' stand for? (no text)
In my post it means "Your Mileage May Vary."
The reflections, as always are fascinating. One thing my wife has noticed about men is that there are two categories, one who would go into palliative care for a cut finger and those who would have to be nearly dead before seeing a doctor. Those attitudes seem to be reflected in our thoughts about growing our hair out.
There are the worriers, how we are going to get through the process that goes between a closely cropped head and mid-back hair, how we will deal with attitudes and criticism. For some of us, it is good to have had the rough edges knocked off by boarding school, the army, seminary or whatever. The person who opened this discussion would seem to be the kind of guy who would be afraid of being seen having a shower, being seen for what he is. We tend to assume super-egos and the personality we would like to be, but we are ourselves.
Not being too bothered about myself has been a great help with going through the early stages of the “awkward phase”, which hasn’t really been awkward for me. I have just left the hair loose, but clean and well combed. The last time I was with my in-laws, they were quite fascinated to see my hair. They weren’t hostile but amused. I merely suggested to my brothers-in-law that they could try it – but one is an engineer in a large oil-producing company and the other, a banker. We are like men on opposite sides of a river, they with suits and short back ‘n’ sides, and me with long (lengthening) hair and casual dress. The women were the most fascinated and expressed the thought that my hair was up to good feminine standards – volume and wave. A part of hair-farming is getting rid of our sense of doing things for the approval of others. We are just ourselves, and other people can just get used to it. My long hair doesn’t hurt them!
My experience has been so different from what I imagined when I had short hair. I imagined a much harder awkward phase, because other people said it was difficult – because they are perfectionists. They say in France that you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs. What will I be like with mid-back hair? I suppose it will take a little longer to brush and comb, but it will all stay tied up when I’m outdoors in the wind (sailing, cycling, etc.). It is nice for the process to be a slow continuum, so that there’s no sudden need to learn to do something new. I often think of the “easy-geezy stick bun”, but there’s no use worrying about it. It will happen when my hair gets long enough. I once asked myself how doing a simple ponytail would be – it takes about 3-5 seconds and it’s done. It will be the same thing with stick buns and braids. It’s all part of the excitement of life. I can already do some things, and others lie in the future. It doesn’t keep me awake at night!
All that being said, it’s nice to be half-way there at 13 months and enjoying the feeling of hair swooshing around the shoulders (bare torso or tee-shirt). I occasionally have a look in the mirror or do a selfie photo. These are the little rewards like buying little things each month when I stopped smoking.
Nothing can be had in life without some suffering, and above all being ourselves rather than a part of the flock of sheep. It gives us character like any challenge, and it helps us in our individuation as Jung called it. Perhaps it makes us into some kind of “elite”, because most guys don’t have the guts to stand out and take a bit of stick!
Anthony
My blog
I found this a rather odd statement. At the age of 60 I still refuse to take a shower with anyone else around. So when I go to the Y to exercise i'll wait until I get home to shower. Too many years in school with others judging you by how big your junk is. I found in the later years too many men never matured
in that regard.
A part of hair-farming is getting rid of our sense of doing things for the approval of others. We are just ourselves, and other people can just get used to it. My long hair doesn’t hurt them!
Absolutely. Great way to phrase it.
I understand how this can seem odd. I'm not the kind of person to exhibit myself, out of respect for other people. However, in the sailing school changing room, we would all be bare male bodies concerned to get out of our wetsuits, showered and into dry clothing. I can't say it particularly bothered me any more than at school after playing football or going running.
There is a middle way between extreme pudicity and being careless of other people's feelings. It is in our culture to cover up our "privy members" as women cover their breasts. In ordinary life, I observe those conventions - like covering up with at least a big towel to take off swimming trunks on the beach to put underpants and trousers back on. That is unless we are on a nudist beach, and there aren't any where I go sailing.
Public indecent exposure is an offence against the law in most countries, but there is a certain latitude in more or less private circumstances like sports clubs.
What has this to do with men growing our hair? My point is that part of it is being able to oppose social conventions like short men's hair and long women's hair. There has to be a certain ability to go against the grain without going beyond certain limits. Obviously, our hair is completely visible to all, and that's where the comparison is no longer valid.
I really wanted to convey an attitude of moderate distance from social norms and the "sheep flock" mentality.
Anthony
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My blog
The biggest reason that it would seem odd is the different cultures that we all grew up in. Anthony, from what I have read on your posts, I get the impression that you are pretty much a European traveler, a western European traveler anyway. That being the case your experiences with the cultures of the more socially liberated Europeans is in a completely different universe than much of the states. I have never heard of a large unisex public restroom anywhere in the U.S., but I've heard from people that have traveled to Europe that you do have them there and possibly pretty common. That makes perfect sense to me and also would save space, but many of my fellow puritan descended Americans can't think anything other than about all the orgies than have to happen in those public restrooms. Any discussion about a nude beach or nudist resort/campground and the puritans can't think a single pure thought for the rest of the month. I have bucked that attitude about as much as I have the attitude toward short hair. In-spite of living with a puritan mother, I have been an avid skinny-dipper since long before I was able to grow out my hair. So basically I have more experience in rebelling against the skin phobia sheeple than I do with the short hair sheeple. Only difference is my hair is always out there on display at all times unlike a very large portion of my skin except for times that I am actually skinny-dipping, sunbathing, or showering at the fitness center. Everyone has their own hangups and we pretty much just need to get over ourselves so that we can live happy, non-judgmental, and fearless lives.
Daniel
Being in a place where people simply don't give a damn makes all the difference. Not having to face resistance to the things you are considering trying makes it far easier to do those things.
This is something I have noticed on coming into contact with conservative Americans, especially in Church circles. Something I say as a Christian believer is that I am astounded on reading about some of the bilgewater some of the fundamentalists believe in. Anyway… Yes, I am English and have lived most of my adult life in France, apart from about 3 years in Italy and 4 years at university in Switzerland. I have been formed culturally by conservative Catholicism, but my being marked by the 1960’s never left me. I must be a curious mixture as my brother (born in 1953) finds.
I naturally tend to be more critical of social convention when it isn’t related to the higher moral principle of empathy and compassion. I tend to be something of a “rebel” as when I was a child. I tend to want to live life on my own terms, but whilst caring for other folk at the same time. My parents were (my father is still alive) conservative but with a tolerant and critical view of life. That seems to have rubbed off on me and this alienated me from the “ideology” aspect of some forms of conservative politics and religion.
Indeed, we all have things to work on in the gardens of our souls, and to seek out the company of people with empathy and positive attitudes. We also have to work on our sense of fear. That is a fundamental emotion in us all, and there has to be a balance between the fearless psychopath and the twisted personality fraught with phobias and obsessions. As I said earlier, we need to get ourselves right before we can help others.
Anthony
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The biggest reason that it would seem odd is the different cultures that we all grew up in. Anthony, from what I have read on your posts, I get the impression that you are pretty much a European traveler, a western European traveler anyway. That being the case your experiences with the cultures of the more socially liberated Europeans is in a completely different universe than much of the states. I have never heard of a large unisex public restroom anywhere in the U.S., but I've heard from people that have traveled to Europe that you do have them there and possibly pretty common. That makes perfect sense to me and also would save space, but many of my fellow puritan descended Americans can't think anything other than about all the orgies than have to happen in those public restrooms. Any discussion about a nude beach or nudist resort/campground and the puritans can't think a single pure thought for the rest of the month. I have bucked that attitude about as much as I have the attitude toward short hair. In-spite of living with a puritan mother, I have been an avid skinny-dipper since long before I was able to grow out my hair. So basically I have more experience in rebelling against the skin phobia sheeple than I do with the short hair sheeple. Only difference is my hair is always out there on display at all times unlike a very large portion of my skin except for times that I am actually skinny-dipping, sunbathing, or showering at the fitness center. Everyone has their own hangups and we pretty much just need to get over ourselves so that we can live happy, non-judgmental, and fearless lives.
My blog
We are free to do what we want in life short of hurting other people. I had short hair for most of my adult life. Ken has good advice to give - in that it takes patience. There are no short cuts. If you want your hair long, you stop cutting it, you look after it and you live your life. It takes years.
Fortunately it is gradual. We have time to get used to it as do our friends, family and people at work.
Think about what you want in life. You live in a free world and you can have your hair long or short. There are advantages and disadvantages with both. If you decide to grow your hair and seek a little support, then you do well to come to this forum.
But the choice is yours, no one else's.
Good luck with whatever you decide in life.
Anthony
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My blog
i guess i will shave it since not worth it
Im an idiot since thought it takes less 2 years for shoulder but not wrth it and understand why guys dont like long hair
Yeah the long hair does take a little extra work but in the end it is well worth it. Most of the time it is down and loose, occasionally it will be in a pony tail, braid, bun or pig tails to prevent damage.
Ultimarely having that long cascading down my back or draping over the shouldes makes it all worth while. I wouldn't dream of cutting it off, cutting off my hair would be like cutting off an
arm or leg. For me all the extra effort is worth it in the long run, YMMV. For some they don't want to be bothered and will
buzz it all off. That is their choice, it is their hair.
For me the long hair is worth it so it will remain long until the day i die.
Growing old takes too much time and too many years too but i'm not going to end my life or cut my hair. But ultimately it is worth it for me to be 60 years old now, to be the one in control of my life, and my choices (like what clothes I wear and how long my hair is), and to ignore the idiot naysayers.
I've had long hair for 50 years now and have enjoyed every minute of it.
I wear my hair down and loose most of the time, i'll pony tail it, braid it, bun it, or pig tail it to prevent damage but most of the time is down and loose. But ultimately I have long hair,
love having it long, and wouldn't dream of cutting it.
See above. But what is above is my opinion and only my opinion.
Ultimately it your hair and you have the freedom to decide how to wear your hair.
For me at the ripe old age of 60 I love having long hair and I don't care what others think. If they don't like long hair they can go jump out the window.
Growing hair out takes a lot of time. Just a few lucky guys will grow it long enough in less than 2 years!
If you want long hair but you're not patient then let it grow for a while and then buy some hair extensions if you think you will be able to handle them .
I mean, you can't think of waist length if you're not even in the awkward stage (you shaved 6 months ago!).
Also, growing hair out is not hard work. Actually, it is a learning process. That is what others may consider "hard work".
Ladies - in general- have always had long hair (since they were little) so they already know everything about hair.
For a grownup man to grow his hair out for the first time in his life it's a learning process, something new that you have to be willing to go through. If you are not willing to go through that, then don't grow it out.
I agree that it is a learning process, at least it is for guys who want to have healthy, nice long hair.
Long hair forums taught me a lot during my growing process.