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So about 3 months ago my parents said I could grow my hair long. Now, my mother said I need a haircut, and already scheduled the appointment. Now, I am a very persuasive person, but I don't really have the courage to tell her the full truth about my hair. I want it so badly, but I don't know how to convey that desire to her. Please help me!
The most annoying thing is that the typical parent considers Justin Bieber hair to be long.
There's a few ways of looking at this:
1. Just tell her that you're not going to be getting haircuts for a (*very*) long time, at least until you get to your desired length. If you don't do any trims, it will take you at least another year and a season to get to shoulder length (ponytail length)
2. If your dad approves, tell your mom that.
3. If you're going the mullet route, do everything you can to avoid this haircut. If you're going the shag route, use this opportunity to get the rear trimmed. I went the mullet route, mostly because I have bad associations with a bob haircut. Should you DO take the gambit of leveraging mom's use of money to get that trimmed, make sure that your mom pays first. And then *you* go tip the barber to make sure that (s)he doesn't remove enough. If it's trimming off the back you can sometimes negotiate a discount. There's really no reason to go do this though...
If your mom is adamant (I had the misfortune of having to deal with that for two years), do EVERYTHING you can to miss the appointment. The school nerds will only be too happy to hang out with you at the TCG shop.
These are great ideas! There's only one problem. I have a twin brother, and we get haircuts at the same time. I THINK he agrees that I should grow it long, but I'm not quite sure. We're sort of the opposite when it comes to haircuts...
PERFECT -- tell your mother that is one way to tell you and your brother apart, (especially if you are identical twins). you have long hair, your brother has short hair.
Ahh I remember hearing these words just like you're hearing from your parents, that happened during my "Awkward Stage" and yes, he said to me that has been already scheduled a visit to the barber in the next morning.
I've done everything to miss the appointment with the barber in the next day, I've said that he wasn't there and I would went in the next day but this next day never comes since nowdays hahaha.
Sometimes, if you want something this much, you need to sacrifice some "things" along the journey and one of those things is, don't do everything people say for you to do and don't listen to random opinions from how they see you, if you're happy it's already a deal!
My relationship with my father isn't one of the best, I didn't went to the barber even when was scheduled and this pissed him off so much that he said he wasn't going to bring me with him in any other family events (Yes, I missed my cousin wedding, family day for visiting the factory he works and many other things), and he said to me he was ashamed to bring me out with him even for paying a visit to the market, he said I looked like a madman, beggar and every type of name you can imagine.
We don't know how your parents react, but try to do what mkl said, do everything for missing the appointment and give a good excuse and try to get a talk with then about your opinion of not getting haircuts.
Hope you don't end up like other guys I know, don't give up.
Cheers and good luck my friend!
can you try reasoning with your mother, like "if i continue to keep my hair neat and clean, can i keep it this length?" (i'm sure you have been keeping it neat and clean, and don't tell her you want to grow it longer).
explain that you've always wanted long hair, and cutting it will only set your plans back further.
also, as was said before, tell her your father approves.
you can also fake a sickness (with lots of coughing and sneezing) to get out of the appointment.
I had this problem and with one statement it stopped.
I told her that I was going to get my hair cut BUT, there is someone that likes my hair longer. When she asked who, I said ME! Good luck.
Unfortunetly living in her house you live under her rules.
If you can't reason with her you may have to bite the bullet
and get the haircut with the idea that when you move into your own house, earning your own money, then you will have the total freedom to do with your hair as you like.
Some parents you can reason with, some you can't. Either way
good luck.
BTW, what is TCO shop?
I would be nice to her and explain your views. Tell her this is something you really desire, it does not harm anyone nor cost anything! I would try taking and reasoning first. I also would refuse to have it cut. I know this is difficult and not everyone is as stubborn as I was when I was young. Good Luck!
Darrin
In my case, it was my dad who stubbornly insisted on me and my brothers having military-short haircuts. As long as we lived in his house, we had no choice in the matter (I was a teenager during the late 1960s and early 1970s). My styep-mom was OK with long hair though, and she even tried to reason with my dad on my behalf. After attending only one year of college, my dad and step-mom got divorced, and I decided to leave home as well... I immediately grew my hair long-ISH (ponytail length came much later in life); but I missed out on finishing my college education.
Every family situation is different. But, here is my advise:
Focus on your school work. Get the very best grades that you can. If you do really well in school, chances are your parents won't care if you want your hair long. You'll have more leverage in your mom's household, AND it will serve you well for your future anyway!
Good luck!
- Ken in San Francisco
Thanks, you guys! I think I have a strategy down, based on all of your answers. I pride myself in my public speaking skills, so I will use those to help me win this battle. I will be preparing a speech to give to my parents, which I hope to give on Thursday ( the day before the haircut), so please keep supporting me until that day comes. I'm so grateful, you guys. Thanks!
I went through the same thing when I was a teenager. In part, it's a mother just trying to be a mother -- that's what they do. And it's really not about your hair, but about you growing older and becoming your own person. That's one reason -- and when you become your own person it's hard for parents to let go of the fact that you don't need their protection. In essence, your mom - like my mom - is just trying not to feel old.
I waited to grow my hair out in college, but I had long bangs down to my chin in high school with it short in the back -- I would slip the long hair back on top of my head, which is a classic aristocratic style, like the undercuts trendy now. I've gone long and short, but am growing it out to shoulder length now.
Keep trimming the back and keep it neatly pulled behind the ear when the front gets that long. Having long hair, if you take care of it, can make you look more distinguished and "your own man" -- and in today's world it's better to be your own person and stand out from the crowd.