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Hello guys !
I'm glad to be here, just discovered that board :) My name is Marc, I'm 28 yo and live in France (please excuse my eventual mistakes in english xD). I always wanted to have long hair but each time I gave up in the "transition" period..
Now I'm motivated, but my BF don't especially appreciate long hair... I know that it's a choice of mine, but I don't know how to talk about that with him. (I'm just at the beginning, only 4 months since my last haircut).
Thanks for your answers,
Marc
Hello MarcRbm!
I have been haunting the Long Hair search engine and thought that I should take a chance and write to you of my experience in growing long hair. In the past I have been all over the place with what I wanted to look and feel like. I am older but don't look or feel any age. Some background, my mother cut all the boys hair up through High School (she lined us up) and made sure that one hair cut would last till she decided it was time usually so short that a week later it was difficult to catch one hair with the fingers. I joined the US Military almost out of High School and as the only soldier who was passed over for the first dramatic hair cut. 27 years later a new world opened up but for the fact that I thought about long hair then I had no patience for getting over the hump. I even in frustration shaved my head for 6 years almost daily until the month of June 2012. I said "self" this shaving gig is boring and I simply let it go to do its own thing. You can see from the date that I am coming on my 3rd anniversary of basically doing nothing style wise to my head. Just before my head met its last shave I met up and beded a tall sexy Leatherman with long hair to the small of his back I fell in love with the exquisite feel as he topped me and let his locks lightly brush my bare skin. Trust me I was in heaven. We weren't in love just really hot for each other. So now I take you to my personal experiences of growing long hair.
My first year: Basically nothing out of the ordinary except shampoo and condition with any product off the store shelves cheap is just fine for the first year. Looking back I could have done a little different by working either Extra Virgin Olive Oil on my hands or Coconut Oil into my scalp it seems to ZAP the hair roots into action and the growth spurt would surprise you after 3 months of at least 1 time per week and before you shampoo with as cool of the water as you can stand and a very small amount of soap so that you are removing dirt not natural oils. The first year really is touch and go my best advice is to ignore your head as much as possible do not use heat and do not use anything but a wide toothed comb. I did not follow one bit of advice in that it was suggested that I have the lower locks trimmed to allow the top to catch up. And so the first year passed reasonably quick.
For my second year: Passing the First Anniversary I had a picture taken I might at some point post it some time. My barber who trims my beard once a month mostly it is at least a full week over due past really ugly, had been begging me to allow her to trim my hair only one time, she suggested that my hair would grow faster. I said how is that? Oh the split ends I think was the answer but I had been checking out the suggestions on line and was informed that you don't worry about that excuse as a reason for cutting and styling. My style was to reach my Leatherman's locks and I wanted the feel of my own hair brushing my own back. So here we are at the start of the second year and I could now stand to look in the mirror and like what I saw staring back. I have baby fine hair with waves not curls. Styling after a shampoo was with my fingers through towel dried hair then simply forgetting that I needed to do anything to my hair. I purchased from a salon in a large town north of my small town Shampoo and conditioner plus a leave in detangler for use after the towel had done its job. The tight wave loosened up and I was beginning to look like I had gotten past the "Oh you haven't gotten the Spring look or was it Winter look yet" part of conversation. I cut back on the number of times I washed my hair to no more than once a week even at the gym I managed to get by. Yipee I passed the over due look with flying colors.
The start of my third year on my second anniversary of absolutely no trimming of the locks I started to add Coconut Oil to my daily routine even between shampooing at first I used to much but found that with coconut oil (direct from the grocery) meant for cooking needed about the size of a US Dime to the scalp near the roots and the same worked into the ends to help the natural oils work out the hair. Since January 2015 I have kept up with this routine condidtioning even between the shampoo and still using the detangler what ever is left on my hands when finished goes into my beard that I am now having professionally trimmed 2 times a month that could hold for 3 weeks but I like to be pampered guess that makes me a woos but I can live with that just fine. My hair is now long enough and lose enough that I can turn to the side and see plus feel the weight of my hair on my shoulders.
So Marc this is about it growing long hair takes personal strength, putting up with a lot of good natured teasing, and finally undying devotion to what you have accomplished. I hope that my experience will help you survive the transition period into the unknown lands of being your own best friend that your hair has ever had. Please remember doing more the first year is dangerous, ever so frightening is the constant attention worry and stress which you will learn to handle just fine. Don't give up Boy Friend will come around some of the jokes you will be confronted with are clouded curiosity for one who wants to be supportive but is in a whole different world of newness. You will see. Oh I can read French if you would rather trade secrets and passions by private E-mail. I am here to support you my friend and I respect commitments to your relationship with BF.
Best of luck
Dan (Silverthorne is my AKA)
thank you Ken and Daniel for your really kind answers :) I appreciate so much :)
Ken your are right, I also feel like I was born longhair. But because of parents, "social conventions".. It is hard to assume it. Now that I am more mature it will be easier to be myself ^^ and I am sure that my boyfriend will accept it :)
"on being a longhair" is the website which made me discover this board ^^ and also a great source of informations.
À bientôt :)
Marc
Hi Marc,
Welcome to MLHH!!!
My thoughts re. your introduction are as follows:
Be the person you want to be. The people who genuinely like and love you unconditionally (including your boyfriend -- or at least I should say, it SHOULD also include him!) will support you in the long haul (even if a bit of an adjustment for them to deal with at first, while you are going through the transition of becoming longhaired).
Many of us here -- regardless of whether gay or strait -- feel we are "born longhairs" on the inside... The full blossoming of that is when we finally grow our hair long on the outside as well.
My best to you!!
- Ken in San Francisco, California
PS - Bill Choisser, the man who wrote On Being A Longhair, lives just a 10 minute drive away from me -- and I have had the wonderful privilege of chatting with him in-person many times over the topics brought up in his writings. It is such a wonderful article!
Hello and welcome to MLHH...
That article is how I came here as well...
Once people saw me in a ponytail, they knew I was serious about this and the comments became fewer...
All the best....
The Spaf Man
Hi, Marc! Welcome.
I'm in a similar position. My boyfriend doesn't really like long hair, either. Not many gay men do, which I find a bit strange. I've always loved it myself!
We've talked about it a few times. I first brought it up when I made the decision to grow it out. Basically, I said that I've always wanted to have long hair and that it was important to me. He understood.
Every so often, I'll check in with him to see how he feels and to reiterate how important having long hair is to me. It's good to keep communication open, you know?
I would suggest you just be honest with your BF. Tell him how important it is to you. He'll understand! He wants you to be happy, right? And growing your hair out is part of all that.
Good luck!
Hi Steve :)
Thank you for your kind answer :) I am quite sure he will understand too. And, as I started from short hair he will get used to it, as my hair will grow.
Have a nice day, see you soon
Marc,
Be who YOU want to be. I've always been a long haired guy inside. Now that my hair is shoulder length, I'm comfortable with it. Actually, I want it longer. I'm proud of it - it's part of my persona. I really don't let others (those who are close to me included) influence my decision to grow my hair long.
Hi MarcRbn,
Welcome to the board! You have definitely found the right place if you want to grow your hair out! Try to get through the awkward stage and I'm sure you will love your long hair! Also talk to your boyfriend about how much long hair means to you and I'm sure he will understand! Please keep us updated on your progress and stay well my friend!
Ted