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Little progress .... It's getting really tough for me to cope with pressure of my boss at work and parents at home to cut my hair... They ask me why d hell u want long hair?? You r a boy... Can't explain them anything.... Today a high ranked official in my company asked me for a brief meeting. He was puzzled that why I am growing out my hair.. He says that if I don't follow the corporate culture of nice and tidy look I might have to suffer early in my career.. I am from India where its very difficult to get a job.. And also I am working in risk management and reinsurance... My boss says that it creates a impression of clumsy and callous attitude towards our work to our clients.. My clients are based in Asia and few countries in Europe... I don't want to put my career at stake at the same time I don't want to cut my hair.. I am sorry guys dat I am telling my sob story here.. But this is d only place in the world where u guys can feel and relate what's going on in my mind...
I hope I get strength to cope up wid this pressure...
LOOK FROM BACK WHEN NOT COMBED
when combed.. but doesn't stay like this for long..
I definitely feel your pain when it comes to trying to please your employer yet still staying true to yourself and expressing who you are. I have received a few comments about my hair length during the growing phase and work in a corporate environment as well. I expressed that I am not willing to cut my hair, and that personal happiness is more important to me at this point than a paycheck. I have rarely "fought" for anything in my life, but since committing to long hair almost a year ago, I will definitely not cave in now. Circumstances might be different for you in India, but I can definitely get another job doing IT work and still be accepted for who I am. As long as I am doing quality work with good ethics, my hair length should be trivial. In my opinion of course :) Here is my current hair length after 11 months from a buzzcutt to give you an idea.
I'm at the ripe old age of 60 now, i've had long hair since
1964. At this point in my life I want long hair and I don't care
what others think.
As far as "you're a boy" I would mention that around here
that most of the women have hair shorter than mine, So it's not
uncommon to got into local stores/businesses/etc. and find most of the women have short hair while a few of the guys will have long hair.
As far as "looking professional" there are many guys who are not "looking professional" lie the guy with the massive comb over to hide his balding head.
Hang in there. I told my boss I am growing my hair out and he freaked out. He's an ex cop who is used to keeping super short hair and zero facial hair, and he expects that from everyone else. He told me I couldn't have long hair. I asked him to show me the section in the employee handbook where that rule is explicitly stated. He couldn't, because there is no rule for hair length (I obviously knew that going in. Always be prepared). I had to threaten to file a grievance before he backed down.
The whole "showdown" wasn't as confrontational as it may sound, and we are on good terms, but you have to know your facts and rules before taking a stand. Be friendly but firm if you decide to speak with your boss.
Good for you.
I am so sorry to hear about the many difficult obstacles in your way of growing your hair out. Everybody's life and personal circumstances are different, including professional decisions, living at home VS living on your own, etc.; so it is not my place to judge. Although I'll never know every detail re. the difficulties you have to face in order to succeed at growing your hair longer, here are a few ideas that might help:
1) as soon as financially possible, moving out of your parent's house and into a place of your own, no matter how modest & humble the apartment or room may be, will at least remove one element of stress and resistance to your making your own decisions about your own hair.
2) although jobs and careers are a more difficult matter, if you are really good at what you do, have excellent work ethics, etc., your success will eventually speak louder than anything else about you -- in which case, if your boss is smart, he will realize that hair length should be a non-issue... and if he DOESN'T realize this, then maybe you'll be able to find yourself a new boss!
3) in the meantime...
Grow your hair out to whatever degree you can safely do so without too much hassle. For example: if you don't mind using gel or Brylcream or other similar hair product that helps keep hair neat and out of the way during the day, you'll at least be able to grow your hair long in front (without it looking "long" in general, because the hair care product will help hide and secure the long portion).
I'm sure other guys here will share other ideas that might help you out; but the above thoughts are what come quickest to my mind right now.
My best to you!!
- Ken in San Francisco, California
I understand tough, trust me, I recently joined this group looking for support and suggestions on how to stay on this path of growing out the long hair that has been inside of me for so long without the opportunity to finally make a real commitment. The pictures that you posted leads me to suspect that you have not crossed the internal hump even in your own mind and you need to get there before the long hair inside steps up and simply swats the complainers. I suspect but you have not revealed how long you have been on this path this time? You suggest that you may be Indian so I will assume that your hair grows very fast and I don't know why this is so but it just is. So in your transition period that is getting from the last haircut to feeling comfortable in your own skin you need to take care of you. Here are some suggestions that you may find helpful. No matter how your corporate jog dresses you must step up and dress better beat them at their own game. I see a lot of body in your hair presently. Start first by using less shampoo when you wash your hair and do it less often with cool water to rinse try to use shampoo at the scalp level only your hair can clean itself on the ends. I have a friend who tells me that he has not shamooed the ends of 15 inch hair in 6 months. Simple conditioners can help at the supermarket buy a small jar of Coconut Oil for cooking this will soften your hair and let it hang more naturally. You will really like the instant softness of your hair and may even find women (if you are into that I am not being really queer)they cannot resist a friendly run through of the fingers to find how soft your hair is. Once this is discovered you will have instant allies on your side. For Coconut Oil a very small (like a finger full) dug out of the jar and rubbed between the palms until it melts then you work it into your hair. All that you need each time is about the size of a US Dime. If you want you can use Virgin Olive Oil the same way and place a cap or a plastic bag over your hair to create heat and wear this for 2 hours then simply rinse it out do not use shampoo this time and then the conditioner to towel dry your hair. Stop using heat to dry your hair it is your own worst enemy. Once you get over the hump and only you will know when this is then nothing will stop your progress. I reached mine totally at 2.5 years. Good Luck!
growing out my hair
Hi Samlonghair1,
I am very sorry to read of your difficulties! I am not sure what advice to offer you! I can only hope and pray that you can get through this without having to cut your hair. Please try to work with your boss and the company to keep your job and your hair. I will be praying for you! Please be well and try to hang in there my friend!
Ted
The only thing I can think of is if it had something to do with your religion. Would your boss compel you to cut your hair if you were a Sikh? If it is not against your religion/beliefs, maybe wearing a turban to work would stop the comments from your boss.
I have to say, this is one of the paradoxes about the country of India that puzzles me. There are so many different kinds of religions and peoples, yet it seems that there is also this urge to have short hair and bald faces. Where is the toleration and respect? Come to think of it, why does the U.S. have the same problem?