new thread
Yesterday, I went for an interview with an employer that wanted to see me if I fit into their requirements for the job.
I sat in the chair and waited to be called by the employer, until a woman came in and sat in a chair next to me and so she started talking to me until she told me something that maded me very angry, the subject "hair".
"For me, I think that man is only a man if they wear their hair shortest as possible"
So I asked her: "If you like short hair so much, why you didn't you do a pixie cut or do a buzzcut in your hair?"
And she answered: "I like my hair long the way it is, but man should have their hair short and that's my opinion, and I think you should shave your hair and stop looking like a woman"
So I said: "Yeah? Who told you that man only should have short hair? And if I say to you that I heard somewhere else that only woman need to have long hair? NO ONE SAID THAT"
She replied saying: "You're right, no one said that, but I think you should cut your hair and by the way, it's just hair my dear and it grows back, maybe if you cut your hair you can have better chances getting a job"
I answered her: "Just hair? JUST HAIR? Hair doesn't grow that instantly, it takes time and can be butchered by a barber in 5 minutes. May I ask you if your Hair is JUST HAIR for you lady?"
She said: "I could never see me fit short hair, I don't like short hair, I would never cut my hair, my hair is growing for 8 years or more and no, I'm not going to cut my hair, but man should cut their hair"
I was going to answer her, but I was saved by the employer calling me to get in his office. It really pissed me off you know, someone who say man should wear their hair shortest as possible and loves her long hair is someone who contradicts herself.
After the end of the interview, I went back home and my mother started saying: "Companies got standards, and one of those is maintaining men's hair short, and I think you should cut yours for better chances at getting a job, remember it's just hair and grows back". I was already pissed off for that woman and my mother said the exactly same thing that woman said, I just said one thing for my mother: "Would you cut your hair for getting a job?" She rapidly answered me: "No, I'm not gonna make anything that I don't like just for getting a job, they should accept me the way I am" and so I said: "The same as I think, and your answer ends this conversation"
I don't care about what the others think about me but, you don't know how I really hate these words: "It's just hair" hell no, it isn't just hair, it's years spended for maintaning and taking care that can be butchered in 5 minutes in a barbershop.
Hope everyone is alright and doing fine!
Yes it's just hair. And hair does grow back. But I would not cut my hair, just as I would not cut off an arm or leg.
As far as women should have long hair, she should open her eyes and notice that most women now have hair that is shorter than mine.
Around here you can go into places around here and note that
the vast majority of women have hair that is shorter than mine.
As far as employment, there are a good number of businesses where you can go into and find men with long hair. I'm amazed at how many businesses now have long haired male employees. And many of those men have hair longer than the women.
So if they want you to cut your hair, vote with your feet and find an employer who is long hair friendly (they do exist) or start your own business.
Snipped the conversation not the hair
There are many things that I will not do for a job or even my friends.
(1). I will not go back to the church of my youth with the hate that is expounded upon.
(2). I will not cut my hair just to impress the realtor and the banker before I signed the mortgage.
(3). I will not (now that I have reached long hair notoriety of 3 years growth)cut my hair for anyone and I don't need a job I am busy enough as it is already.
(4). It goes without saying a pretty dumb move to move for a job. (5). I feel like smacking anyone who suggests that I donate my locks to anyone who doesn't have a wig to cover a medical procedure. Just because my friends all have short to shaved heads.
I couldn't agree more with all of these words, I'm not going to cut my hair just to make an impress for an employer for getting a job or so, neither cut my hair to "impress" a girl or by a friend request.
I've only opened this thread for one purpose: I'm tired of some people that can't open their eyes for such subjects and I needed to hear some words from other guys in the board.
Take care my friend!
You can see the 5 things plus more if you asked of what I will not do from earlier posts seeing that I am pretty new to this blog.
You said: I've only opened this thread for one purpose: I'm tired of some people that can't open their eyes for such subjects and I needed to hear some words from other guys in the board.
Well you certainly got an earful on that count. I find myself fussing over that others think of me with long hair only when I am not feeling all that great but I get over it as quickly as possible knowing that the apprehension is something that comes and goes and I needed you guys more than you know presently. I think that I have probably always been a long hair even when mother lined up everyone in the community (a really small RC town in the country) to hand clip like really short for everyone. She had one hair cut and if you could with 2 fingers get anything after a week it was to long. So here I am ready to celebrate my 3rd year going for 4 of really taking charge of growing my hair extremely long I have my 2 year and 10 month photo on Facebook.com/daniellewis Frommherz but when I hit the 3rd anniversary I will post a new one. Might even post what I looked like 4 years ago which was a disaster but I needed that to get my tattoo glad that is over.
Real life is just like online--Don't feed the trolls.
If you are unable to heed this advice, then at least retaliate in kind
Correct response: "Oh good. I keep it this way so people like you don't hit on me. Glad it's working."
Rest assured, not all women think like that! Again, last week, a woman waiting in line with me at the bank complimented my long hair. Then a few days later, another one at the pharmacy did the same, even mentioning that she wishes her young son would grow his hair as long as mine. My conclusion: women like men with long hair much more that we think....What a week!
So, how did the job interview actually go?
A.D.
Nah, they all say the same thing to me, "You need to wait, if we like your resume, I give you a call alright?"
They didn't maded a call since that day, I can't sit in here waiting for then to call, so I'm sending resumes for other companies.
Take care!
I read your post just now. I do not know how it is in Brazil, but in the U.S. most places if one has given them the resume via mail, one usually calls about a week and a half later to ask whether they have the resume. If you hand delivered the resume to the people at the company, in terms of the U.S. and you actually talked to them, one usually calls to ask the potential employer when one can expect to be scheduled for an interview. It may sound a bit aggressive but hey, you want the job. It can help show that one is definitely interested in working for the company.
The other question I had is, have you ever considered opening your own business? If you are into IT, then maybe it would be cheaper and you might get a tax write-off if you open your own business and then somehow figure out how to include education as part of business start-up costs. That way, you may be able to call it "continuing education" and write it off of your business taxes. If you already have the education, maybe start frankensteining computers and if you can, start up a server-farm. Something like this could be worth a shot. I do not know how it is Brazil, but before the Internal Revenue Service decided to kill small business in the U.S. in the 1970's, almost everyone had their own self-proprietorship going on and making great money doing it. Education + Experience + Entrepreneurial Ability= Many Many Reals!
More likely than not you have what it takes to do your own business. Why not look into it and do what you can to shape your own destiny? In any case, hope things can work out the best for you in your job search. Keep us posted on your progress!
You wouldn't want to work for a company that is so controlling they dictate how employees wear their hair. That kind of control is soul crushing. Companies like that are terrible places to work, even for men with short hair.
Also, that lady sounds a little crazy. Why would she approach a stranger and tell him what he should do with his hair? Why does she even care? That's what always gets me: why do people care about how strangers dress or wear their hair?
I've taken to responding to people like that with, "Luckily I don't care what you think about my hair. I love it and that's all that matters. Have a nice day."
A simple and intlielgent point, well made. Thanks!
I think you did a great job responding to that woman's comments -- you were far more logical and intelligent than she was!!
As far as getting hired for a job though, that's a tougher matter...
By the way, what type of work are you looking for? You probably are already aware of this, but: certain career directions and fields of work are more longhair-friendly than others; so if possible, try to find out which companies in your area are more liberal-minded in that way, and then see if you can get an interview with them.
My best to you!!
- Ken in San Francisco, California
Thanks for the reply!
I'm trying to find a job in the Informatics area, but for getting the job I want, I need "experience" first in other job, without it I can't work in the area I want, and yes, I know about those "long-haired" friendly thing in companies, especially those who works for public and goverment certainly "hate" long-haired people, but for working in an office or something else indoors they don't even care the way you look.
Take care!
I agree with you