new thread
This just started recently after a well known celebrity, who I won't mention here changed from a "he" to a "she" and now some family members are starting to wonder about me, but I have NO intentions of changing to a female and it really annoys me that people would jump to such conclusions.
does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this?
The vast majority of male longhairs view their long hair as part of their masculine identity. Think Vikings or warriors as shown in Lord of the Rings. We have no desire to look like or become women. You could try giving examples of these groups or even metal musicians who look anything but feminine. Explain that you fall into this group and you're not changing into anything but you're very happy with your male identity which just happens to be a longhair identity as well.
Exactly.
I've been longhair since 2004 (with 3 years of short-hair reversal in between). I was considered "bizarre" when having hair parted on two sided of the face with red elastics, or when I had fancy samurai-style hair styles, but I admit I was really pushing it just to see reactions. With 'normal' ponytails, black coloured wraps, and possibly a bit of beard or moustache, I am considered distinguishably heterosexual male Latino.
Face bones shape and possibly attitude (voice, gestures) also beat hair length in pointing to a specific gender, I reckon.
A few years ago I stumbled on this FAQ:
http://www.choisser.com/longhair/
I 100% agree with the author, especially on the issue you raise, and I could not tell it better myself. Although personally I did not experience any social problem with my long hair (except with my mother, but nothing to do with fear of gender change).
Cheers.
My mother is also my biggest critic. She has always had shoulder length hair and apparently just doesn't see why anyone of either gender wants hair longer than that. She also complains that growing my hair longer makes it less wavy, which I have always thought of as a positive feature, because when it was short and wavy I had to comb it about every 5 minutes.
I would mention that I know several individuals who are trans gender. The thing to keep in mind is these were individuals who
were born into a male body but they've known for many years that they were actually female. In the case of Bruce Jenner he probably knew the truth back 65 years ago.
Contrary to popular belief trans individuals don't wake up one morning and decide they want to change their sex. They've known for many years that for whatever reason they were born into the wrong body.
I would also add that vast majority of women I encounter each day have hair that is shorter than mine. Very few women now adays have long hair.
As a male who is now 60 years old my advice is ignore the naysayers. I would also mention that becoming trans gender is a
very hard road to travel. There is much misunderstanding.
Many trans individuals get attacked, many commit suicide. It takes and enourmous amount of courage to come out as trans
gender.
First off, I have nothing against gay people, but the transgender thing is taking it a bit too far imho.
if he had kept his hair short and gone through the procedure it would not have bothered me as much, but he chose to grow his hair long right before he had this done as if society thinks we not all "freaks" for wanting long hair already, but it did not work in our cause as it might have actually pushed things a bit backwards in promoting longer hair for men.
all we need is a mass of ignorant people associating a man growing his hair long with the idea of "wanting to become a woman".
I have no intentions of changing my gender. why can't a man have longer hair without people raising eyebrows and questions?
I've had long hair since 1964, i've known a number of trans gender individuals for a number of years now and i've never run into that arguement. (But then i'm also 60 years old.).
As I mentioned earlier all the trans gender women I know, along with the vast majority of other women have hair that is shorter than mine. So it's time for these people to realize it is 2015
and the trend if for women to have shorter hair. And that includes trans gender folks. Yeah those trans gender folks may grow their hair longer but it's still relavively short compared to someone like me.
It probably doesn't help that before the recent magazine layout this "well known celebrity" published pictures that just looked like any random long haired guy whilst identifying as female and still using a male first name. I personally found that rather irritating, and it may even be responsible for the questions you are facing. It certainly doesn't make life any easier.
OTOH, I have had long hair since I was a teenager, and don't care too much what others say on the subject of hair.
I'm 60 years old now. I've had long hair since 1964. I don't care whats others think of my hair.
Treat it with the derision it deserves.
I think the last time someone said something like that to me, I corrected them politely to "lesbian woman" and moved on.
Sounds like regular run of the mill family stupidity.
Speaking of lesbian women...
I saw this crazy-funny book once, called "The History of Lesbian Haircuts" (or something wack-o like that), I think I saw it in the Castro (where else?). Have you ever seen it in and about your travels throughout SF? Just curious (LOL)....
- Ken
I am getting the same nonsense. I have 3 boilerplate responses:
1. I just say, "maybe" then, "what are you going to do about it". That is usually met with silence. (It helps to be 6'7" 270 lbs)
2. I point out to my shorthaired naysayer they spend more time getting their hair done than my wife.
3. Point out their obtuse superficiality, usually via sarcasm: "Hey Jeff, glad to know your beliefs are shaped by Entertainment Weekly, when did you obtain your PhD?"
I dunno, I like to have fun with it and see if I can turn the table.
As an aside, I get a lot of comments about looking like a "wannabe biker". I'm also letting the beard grow, so that's prolly the reason. I guess I'll just have to get a HD and become a real biker!