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Hi all,
I am 40 years old and growing my hair out for the first time. I'm a little vain so the awkward phase is a little difficult for me, to be honest. I shaved my head in march and have not had a hair cut since. My hair is straight, except for around the ears and the back, that is very wavy. I comb my hair straight back, so eventually, I'd like to do the pony tail thing. What is driving me nuts is, first, I'm starting to get the whole mullet thing going on, and second, since my hair is wavy back there, it looks like s**t. I know I should not cut it and just let it go, but is there anything I can do to make it look less s**tty? I only care because of employment reasons. If anyone has any tips or tricks, I'd love to hear. Thank you!
I can relate to what you're going through. I'm also growing out my hair, although not for the first time: my longish hair has never survived the awkward stage so far! This time I'm growing out only the top of my hair with a really comfortable undercut. The longer it gets, the better it looks! By the time my top hair is so long that I can't manage to comb it, I'll try to grow out the hair that I'm keeping short now (I'm pretty sure I will have no mullet), and then for a while I'll look like hell, and maybe I'll want to cut it all off again... but I think I know better now and that´s why I´m willing to give it yet another shot.
Or maybe you just keep the undercut if that's what it takes to
be comfortable with long hair. That's what I've been doing for
a long time now. So while I'm not advocating undercuts it is
an option that works for a few of us. Kind of a minority
within a minority.
Sorry but it's rather simple. If you want long hair, just stop cutting it. You can use stuff on your hair, a hairband or a cap, but the awkward stage sucks for us all. You either cut or grow! Good luck and stop being self-conscious about it!
I'm not sure if your comment was directed to me or Arizona. IN
my case I've had an undercut style for at least 10 years so I'm
WAY beyond the awkward stage, plus having long hair all around
for many years before that. For me this is what I'm most
comfortable with and I enjoy my long hair the most also.
I'm not pointing a finger at anyone. We are all free to do what we want, and I deeply respect that free choice of each person. I have just seen a photo of an "undercut style". Before then I didn't know what that was. Be reassured that I don't judge anyone in any way for their personal taste and what works for them.
I did answer the anxiety of some people who want to grow their hair but who worry about looking silly during the "awkward stage" we all go through. But of course, I'm not so concerned about looking "immaculate" all the time.
Thank you. And you are definitely correct that the quickest
way to get past the awkward stage is to not cut anything.
Cutting or trimming just prolongs the awkward stage. People
should wait until they are well into the ponytail stage before
they consider any trimming or style adjustments.
This doesn't sound like waves to me. Sounds more like awkward stage "wings". Waves are different than wings.
Waves start right at the scalp, although in time, the weight of the hair will hold the first few inches straight. Yours probably isn't long enough yet for this.
Wings are when the tips flare or curl out.
A pic would help confirm.
My hair is also very straight. But during the awkward stage I got wings. I was able to control them somewhat with hairspray, applied when my hair was still damp enough from the shower that wings hadn't curled out yet. There's a fine line between enough to hold and making helmet hair.
I've grown mine out several times over the years and I can say it's really only a relatively short time that it's in that bothersome stage. Once it reaches a certain length it will become gradually easier to manage. When hair is short for a long time the growth directions on the top and sides tend to aim up and outward. When you first grow it longer it still tries to grow in those directions. The only way to change growth direction is to leave it long over sufficient time for the new hair's weight to pull it downward.
In other words, be patient and you'll get there. If it bothers you use hair gel, wear a cap or headband-- something like that. It won't be this way for long.
Hey Arizona, Welcome. I had the same problem with the mullet thing, so at one point I cut about 2 inches off the back. At first I was regretting that I had done it, but now I'm glad that I did, because it eliminated the mullet look and those 2 inches grew back. Of course, it lengthened the time it will take to grow it to the length I want it, but having it look good was more important to me than having the fastest growth possible. It's really a personal choice.
Also, I was dealing with the awkward flips and curls as my hair was growing out, so I looked for a product that I had used as a child called Odell Hair Trainer (ancient history). They no longer make it, but I found something very similar called Johnny B. Mode Styling Gel. It kept my hair from flipping and curling in weird ways until my hair length got past that stage. In any case, whatever you do, if you want long hair, be persistent. Good luck.
-Marx
Thank you everyone, I will grin a bear it :) Thankfully its winter and I can wear a hat :)
Hey, started growing mine at age 40! (42 next week) Congrats! I cut some from that back as well for the same reason and was pleased, plus it didn't slow me down from achieving a ponytail. I also used some gel and a few discretely placed bobby pins to get a ponytail look for work even though portions were much too short. Stick it out, definitely worth it!
I had most problems with my hair when it was short. My hair is fine and wavy, so there were always bits of it poking out in strange directions. I used to wet it and then comb it, using either water or something called Vitalis, which is basically non-potable alcohol. The only advantage of the latter was that it dried quicker.
From short to shoulder length the problem was essentially the same (albeit it was layered in those days). As I grew it beyond that, it eventually came under control without wetting it, but it still requires frequent combing, even though it is waist length (but no longer layered).
Of course, I never shaved my head. Where I come from that used to mean you were a neo-nazi, although I know that is what some Americans regard as short.