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Do you guys think that having long hair may play a part (for some men) in helping build and retain a healthy and stable mind? I was pondering this when I walked down the hall and saw one of my old buddies from middle school. Back then, he used to be a pretty unhappy kid, rarely smiled, and almost always wore black. He had a crew cut then. Now, he smiles all the time, stands up straighter, wears clothing outside of the color black, and his hair now falls a little past his shoulders. I also have noticed that whenever I get a haircut (My parents make me get them, since I'm in high school) and whenever it gets cut, I feel emotionally unstable and feel more anxious about things that I could deal with when my hair was longer (the longer it got, the better I felt). Is this the case for you guys, and do you think it's a genetics thing, or a psychological thing?
I feel more confident when my hair is longer. I don't know why, but I do. If having longer hair makes you feel more "you" or more happy, then let it grow!
I've come to realize that for whatever reason my hair affects how I feel, it's easier to go with the feeling and not fight it. :) I'm growing my hair long again after having short for some time, and I really like the longer feeling. It's just more "me" and that's a good thing.
Thanks, Carter! I have noticed that whenever I get a haircut, I get depressed for a really long time, and my grades start to slip. If it was up to me, my hair would be past my pecs, but I still live with my parents, which means certain hair lengths are not allowed.
If you get depressed after a haircut, you probably should say something to one of your parents. At the end of the day, if having long hair makes you feel like "you", a unique person with your own mind, then you should be able to be you.
One thing that is hard for parents to argue with is if someone you might be dating (or you like) likes your hair long. Aside from that, if having your hair longer gives you more confidence, confidence you need to do better in school, then maybe tell them that.
Hope you can grow it! I had a dad that had been in the military. I'd always get crap if my hair even touched my eyebrows or ears. So happy to get to college and grow it!
Haha! Thanks for the advice! Unfortunately, I did tell my parents how I felt, but it didn't quite work. It is kind of hard to understand, if you haven't experienced it, you know what I mean? It's not like my parents are horrible or anything, in fact, I think I'll be able to grow my hair long once I get my senior pictures taken, I just wish I could have long hair RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Again, thanks for responding to me!
Parents in general, good and bad, have stereotypes of how their kids should be, but of course their children are not really their property, they are other people with a mind of their own!
Anyway, I think today is the best time for you to try and have long hair, even if your parents disapprove. Of course they will want to get away with what ever they think is best for you, that's what parents do, but eventually they'll have to give in. Are you sure you're not just procrastinating?
Furthermore, you don't really know about the future, do you? Maybe when you finally have your own place you may have to deal with an intolerant boss or with very conservative company policies, the kind in which long hair on men is seriously frowned upon or not an option at all, and chances are that your parents will still be around, even if you pay your own bills. I think you should go for it now! It'll take courage, but it will get easier as your hair starts to look better and better!
Best of luck, buddy!
You know? I am saying all this to you, but it's like i'm talking my self into growing my own hair at the same time. I don't live with my parents anymore, but now and then I'm stupid enough to seriously care about other people's opinions (my parents included) and believe me, long hair doesn't look like a really easy thing for me to do. I hope I may have the strength to stick to my beliefs!
Thanks, Rul! And good luck to you!
I think it goes the other way, once you get in a place where you can be yourself, where you are in control of your appearance and your lifestyle you are more likely to be happy. If part of being you is long hair, then, of course, you will be less happy when you cut to conform to society's requirements or are required to cut by family.
For you, for me, long hair is probably more a symptom of having personal control of your happiness and destiny than the reason your are happy.
I agree with you, Trolleypup! Plus, there's an important side-benefit to being allowed to just be yourself: your confidence soars!
When I was in high school, my dad gave me and my brothers NO choice in how our hair was to look -- it was military-style short, with mandatory buzz-cuts every summer. I hated it. It never felt like "me"... But, until I left my dad's house when I turned 18 (actually, almost 19), I had zero freedom to pursue my own preference about this.
Once my hair arrived at even a modest degree of "long-ISH" style & length, I felt so much more self-confidence and better self-esteem. I was finally able to be the person I wanted to look like on the outside, that I always felt better suited me on the inside...
Of course if you take a guy who by nature loves his hair short, and force him to grow it long, he won't be happy either -- not until he cuts it to the way he wants it.
Mental and emotional health, including one's self-confidence in life, has a lot to with with, as you say, being in control of your appearance and your lifestyle. Long hair is just the outward manifestation of an inward commitment to simply be true to oneself (or so that's how I view it).
- Ken
Well put, you guys! Thanks!
i read something online about long hair: that the u.s. govt. wanted to use native indians in vietnam for their tracking ability and when they had their hair cut off they lost this ability/became casualties. so then they started letting some of them have their long hair. the long hair ones never became casualties. this was classified i think (info came from the wife of a cia person) supposedly, and each hair strand is supposedly an antenna that can get information from the environment. genetic mutations that cause us to find long hair so attractive could have been the difference between life and death in the past.
IMHO it's more of as issue of being crushed morrally when you're forced to something like cut your hair. When a parent or your boss at work or the administration at your school force you
to cut your hair, you're not only chopping off the hair you're chopping off your morale. They're crushing your spirit, crushing
your personality. It would be like the parent, administration, or boss is forcing you to cut off an arm or a leg.
I started growing my hair long in 1964 and every time I got complaints about my hair it was like a punch in the gut. Those complaints lasted for many years. it wasn't until I was 45, had my own house, my own job, and could finally be free to grow my hair long and thus free my mind to be healthy and not repressed. It was a very long, difficult journey those first 45
years. Now I would note I loved those years. I loved bucking the system and continuing to grow my hair long and keep it long. And every time I got complaints about the hair I took it as an incentive to continue to grow it long and keep it long. So instead of letting the hair complaints crush me O thrived on the complaints and went out of my way to grow the hair long and keep it long and gather even more complaints. I loved getting the complaints and the idea of bucking the system.
What I do see as conducive to a healthy mind is being capable of independence and "out of the box". Parents who force their kids to have short hair often control them excessively in other ways too. I had short hair and regular haircuts until the age of 54, and only then became aware of the possibility of long hair. There were unique things in my life and associations.
I personally am happy with long hair (2 years), but it isn't the universal panacea if there are other things that are not right in life. Conversely, many short-haired guys are well-adjusted in life. We can only speak for ourselves.
Happy growing...
Anthony
No, I don't think that there is any correlation - to those of you able to read German: just google for "Yadgar" and "Khyberspace", and you'll find some of the sickest thoughts issued since the days of Aleister Crowley and Adolf Hitler...