new thread
Hi all,
Most of you probably don't remember me but I used to be a regular here around four to five years ago (at least, it feels like it ;p ). At one time, I had pretty good hair - down to about mid back, until the wife took the shears and cut it off all in one snip ;o . It was to save the marriage since my wife was so irate about my hair :/ (she said it was either the hair or the marriage ~o~; ). Also around the same time, I was diagnosed with MPB, so my hair was looking pretty shoddy. I apologize to anyone from around then - I was in a bit sour about things… losing my hair plus losing my hair and all ;o , but time does fly ;p . The doctor put me on Propecia which has luckily saved most of my hair plus we caught it pretty early, so that was another lucky factor ^_^ (I so dread thinking about looking like my dad/granddad/great-grandad/father-in-law, etc ;p … plus I’ve tried an experimental way of keeping my hair, too, which I wouldn’t suggest but it is interesting ;o ~). After a few years of short hair, I got the courage to try growing it out again ;D . I'm not quite sure how long it's been now… perhaps a year and a half since I started, but here it is as it is today :) . Unlike last time for much of the time, I've encountered little resistance from my family and my wife. My wife grumbles every so often and my mom is on me from time-to-time, but this time around I've been trying to do a good job of taking care my hair - trimming it every so often so that it looks good, putting in coconut oil (actually, my wife helps do it in exchange for a foot massage ;p ~), leaving it loose, etc. I've noticed as one gets older, hair does grow a bit slower and gets a bit grayer (naturally ;p heh~)… but I do feel pretty darn good that my hair is the length that it is ^_^ . I think my wife is a little more supportive this time around also, since we've been married for so many years and she excepts me for who I am pretty much now - instead of trying to shape me in the way she wants totally wants me to be >o<* . I suppose it's only a matter of time before the hair has to get cut off again, but I'll see how far I can get before then and most of all, enjoy the ride along the way :D . Here's to all of you, my friends, and happy birthday MLHH :) ~
-yoshiki ^^
(here's a photo of what my hair looked like at one point in time ;o :~
http://www.mlhh.org/images/archive/295041.jpg )
I certainly don't pretend to know your marital circumstances. However, having said that, I cannot imagine Ever giving any other human that kind of power or control over me, my mind, my appearance, my likes or dislikes. We are all humans entitled to human dignity. I would certainly not be involved with anyone with anyone of that level of "control freakyness". But, good luck with your hair. You deserve to be able to please yourself and meet your own individual goals.
I think that quite a few of us are married and have, or have had, our difficulties. My own difficulties are quite painful, but I won't go into the details here. One thing many women have in common is the inability to accept their husbands as they are, but want the husband to "change" into the preconceived ideal husband. They want a "macho", but would perhaps be beaten and raped if they had a "cool macho"!
Your wife seems to have become more realistic and more tolerant of your hair. Many women are aware of the symbolism of long hair on men. Cut it and you've "got 'em"!
As I am finding with my own marriage, a man has to work on himself (with therapy if needed) and find out what his own problems are and what the wife finds hardest to understand. Then look at her problems and see to what extent they are aggravating the man's problems. The wife will have to make the choice between working on herself or leaving the marriage (to her disadvantage?).
My own wife is quite denigrating, saying that it should have had regular trimming, a euphemism of being limited to "pageboy" shoulder length. I just ignore her and she end up changing the subject. Just take it day by day, and make not wanting to go along with her agenda look like procrastination. It will wear her out in the end.
Good luck,
Anthony
My wife isn't really into long hair on men, but she married a man with long hair, and she has long hair herself.
The most she says on the subject nowadays is that she thinks mine looks better tied back, but then that is how she wears hers, which of course I think looks better loose, but I very seldom mention that.
Best just to compliment her when her hair is loose, but not tell her to actually let it down. Then perhaps she won't make the opposite comment to me.
I have no real objection to tying my hair back, other than aesthetic, but I always wear it down at work. I knew a guy who started wearing ponytails to work and was told that if it was always tied back he may as well cut it off. Not even going into that territory. Still, that's O/T for this thread.
Hi yoshiki,
Of course I remember you! It's great that you're back again and hope you stick around.
For many of us, having long hair is an identity issue that usually won't go away. It's not surprising that you regrew your hair. I hope that the Propecia treatments continue to help you and that family will be at least reasonably supportive.
Best,
Jason
