new thread
I know this point is quite obvious to the readers of this forum, but, the other day I was looking at some very old photos of myself when I had somwehat short hair. (since then I have grown my hair out) After looking at them, I remembered how different it was to interact socially. Its strange how much social attitudes are affected by aomthing as simple as the length of one's hair. It was a profound realization when I noticed that there is an immediate stereotypical impression received when I meet people. The reason I never even thought about this is because frankly, I never thought it was ever even worth thinking about. Im not a sociologist, but certainly there is a degree of neuroticism among the establishment. If the fact that I have long hair excludes me from certain social factions than most certainly I would not be accepted in other respects as well. I cannot help that. Its nice to know that the length of my hair is an accurate representation that saves me the trouble of unnecessary conflict in these kinds of situations. As a white male, and longhaired one at that, I feel I can definitely sympathize more readily in many respects with Blacks, Latinos, and other minorities than my other white male counterparts. Just sharing some random thoughts,
-James
Your story reminds me of the older brother of a childhood friend. He was much older than me, in college when I was in grade school, and the first man I knew who grew his hair long. This was the mid-60s and we lived in a small town, so when he came home from college for Christmas vacation with his Beatles-style haircut, people stared at him.
He soon discovered that he moved in separate social circles depending on the length of his hair. He began cutting it off and growing it out just to see how people reacted. Turns out, his cool longhaired friends were just as closed-minded and judgmental about his short hair as short-haired folks were about his long hair.
I've always found this story funny and sad. For the young pup that I was, it offered a useful lesson in the fallacy of generalizing about a person's character based solely on his appearance. In my experience, length of hair does not correlate to intelligence, enlightenment and tolerance.
Well these are simple psychology/sociology observations. In all subject matter there is an average opinion. This collective thought will become known as normal. Any deviation from normal will be percieved by ppl as threatening and will make them uncomfortable in the presence of the deviator(i.e. Marilyn Manson & Crew). This is more so a reflection of the threatened's insecurities about their own identity than the "oddness" of the deviator.
This explains why things are termed contraversial or unnerving, because when someone is confronted with a deviation from than normal than it forces them to raise questions about the persons identity and forces them to consider things that may have never occured or had they occured were not properly dealt with.
Ppl, when they feel they percieve a threat will attempt to trace it to a source and eliminate it. This can result in hostility towards the deviator (which does not necessarily have to be a person), but it is actually faux pas because the percieve threat is the actual deviation, the the deviator itself. In other words, it's an internal problem, not external.
I was sitting playing hearts at a coffee shop and when one of the guys started talking about how although his parents have come to except his homosexuality, they worry about him and his safety. A good aquaintance (if there is such a thing) of mine pointed out that if you are different you and decide to let ppl know that, that you must be prepared for all the crap that will come as a result.
Although I myself have never really noticed that ppl treat me different as a result of my hair, I imagine it exists, but I have no desire to really noticed.
On a more personal note: There has been positive quite a bit of positive response. I get compliments on my hair a lot, which helps my poor self-esteem, as I see my hair as being my only real attractive feature.
I think making distinctions based on appearances is one of our most natural characteristics. As animals we have to be able to make instantaneous distinctions between friend and foe, us and them, etc. It's the mechanism that helps us find food, keeps us from getting eaten, ensures that our genes get carried on, etc.
Of course, as humans we experience the conflicts between our primitive wiring and a modern brain that appreciates that the world is complex beyond our imagining. The enlightened ones recognize when they're experiencing a primitive response (my brother calls it "thinking with the lizard brain" -- great expression) and when that's unhelpful or inappropriate or unnecessary.
Most rational folks, when given the opportunity, will recognize that their personal preferences regarding facial hair don't necessarily indicate anything about a person's intelligence, competence or abilities. But getting people to let go of their personal preferences is not realistic nor necessarily even fair. I know I don't want to let go of mine!
Gotta agree with that. Which reminds me... A while back I was having a conversation with a few friends of mine, and said something like: "I can size people up just by looking at them (and considering subtle characteristics), whether or not they'd be the type of person I'd like to get to know." One person responded, "not me, I never judge a book by its cover." Another friend replied, "But if it's a good book, why would they put a dumbass cover on it?"
I think he had a point there. I interpret it as saying one should give an accurate representation of oneself in their appearance, because appearance is an indicator, whether you want it to be or not. That may be a little shallow and unfair but that's simply the way it is.
James
I'm not entirely sure I can sum up my complicated, contradictory self with one particular look -- let's hope it's not that easy!
Certain shortcuts, like long hair, can communicate basic info and get people in the ballpark a little more readily. However, I still see a risk in reducing oneself to an easy-to-read glyph -- that's where stereotypes come from and sterotypes are seldom healthy or reliable.
I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt and hope others will do the same for me. If they won't, am I really missing anything?
Jim