new thread
Hello MLHH! :)
I'm Avi! I'm really happy to meet you all. Since I was a kid I've always known I've wanted to grow really long hair- its just something I knew was right for me and it really beckoned to me for reasons I really don't know. I still have that dream- however, I'm a minor(16 right now) and my parents are very strict about this sort of thing- I'm still a short-haired teen at the moment unfortunately. When I head off to college in about 1.5 years I plan to start growing my hair out- I'm looking to get to floor length. And I know it's a very long journey, one that will probably take over a decade- but I'm very set on taking that journey. I just know it :) Seeing that so many of you have the same calling makes me happy that I have others to relate to and help me on this journey. I just wanted to start to get to know you guys and hear from you about your personal tips regarding hair care and where exactly to start when I start growing out- I want to make sure to keep my hair as healthy as possible and I want to know what I'm doing when I start, so that I don't screw up somewhere along the way and mess up the work I've put in. So yeah, I just want to hear input in all regards from y'all- what challenges have you faced? how do you take care to ensure your hair stays healthy? what do you recommend I do at the moment as I still have 1.5 years before I leave the house?
I appreciate anything you guys can give me, thanks so much :)
Hi and welcome,
I also grew up with strict parents who wouldn't allow me to have long hair. Compounding the problem was the religion I was in so I didn't grow my hair until my mid 30s. I chronicled the whole journey in the blog linked below. Just click on the various pages to see how it developed and what you might also expect.
Jason
Hair Blog
Thank you :) will definitely check it out
I'm looking to get to floor length. And I know it's a very long journey, one that will probably take over a decade- but I'm very set on taking that journey. I just know it :) Seeing that so many of you have the same calling makes me happy that I have others to relate to and help me on this journey. I just wanted to start to get to know you guys and hear from you about your personal tips regarding hair care and where exactly to start when I start growing out- I want to make sure to keep my hair as healthy as possible and I want to know what I'm doing when I start, so that I don't screw up somewhere along the way and mess up the work I've put in.
Hey Avi!
Welcome to the tribe, bro!
I embrace you as a long haired bro. Even though you have not yet begun to grow your hair out, you have recognized that you want to grow your hair out and have determined to do so makes you a long hair, one of us.
The fact that you recognize that you have wanted to grow your hair out since you were a child indicates that you are a born long hair. Being a born long hair means that for you having long hair is part of your self-identity, it is part of who you are. You are not growing out your hair because it is part of the latest fashion nor because you want to belong to a group whose whim happens to be having long hair. This does not describe you. If the fashion changes or the group you want to be identified with should change their feelings about long hair then you would simply cut off your hair and not feel anything about the loss of your hair. You are going to grow your hair out because having long hair is part of who you are. If you were to cut off your hair then you would not be completely who you are.
Like you, I would like to grow my hair out to the floor. I have been allowing my hair to grow now for almost eighty-two (82) months and my hair is collar bone length. Allow me to make an assumption about your height. Let's say that you are 5 feet and 8 inches tall. That means that you are sixty-eight(68) inches tall. Normally human hair grows at a rate of one half (1/2) inch per month. This means that it would take one-hundred thirty six (136) months for your hair to grow the length of your body. That is eleven (11) years and four (4) months.
You said that your parents are strict about your hair length. You are obeying your parents; as well you should. This is the reason why you intend to wait until you are out of your parents' house before you begin to actually grow out you hair. I'm sure that you will be visiting your parents from time to time once you have left their home. I would suggest that during the time you are still in your parents house you let them know in a non confrontational way that you intend to grow your hair out once you leave their house. When you do visit them after you leave their house assure them that you are still their son and that you love them. Your long hair is simply part of who you are. They disapprove and may make remarks to you about how your long hair is "not masculine". Assure them that men throughout most of history have worn their hair long if they were of the nobility or of the mercantile class. The men who were in the lower classes cut their hair because they couldn't afford the time to keep their hair clean and free of lice. Slaves and prisoners of war might have had their hair shaved off to remind them that they were not their own masters. Looking at it from that perspective, having long hair is "more masculine". Always be respectful and kind toward your parents and anyone else who might challenge you about your long hair, but always remain resolute that your long hair is going to stay and grow longer.
You have us here at MLHH for support. We encourage each other as a band of brothers. Recognize that you are going to be in a minority among guys; about five (5) percent of the adult male population has hair longer than shoulder length. We are here to help you with advise about hair care products and grooming suggestions. We are here to help with encouragement to keep growing your hair even in spite of criticism and in the face of the "awkward stage". This is the stage of growing out your hair when your hair is long enough to begin curling in one (1) direction or another and will simply not stay where you comb it. This is because your hair is growing in length but does not yet have the volume to hold itself down because of its weight. Like all of us, it is a stage you simply have to endure and go through. However, when you get to the other side of the awkward stage your hair will be long and beautiful. You will be able to wear your hair in many different ways. You will look majestic and regal.
Welcome to the family, bro.
Your long haired bro,
Raymond
Hey Raymond!
Wow, thank you so much for the kind words! Reading them really encouraged me and me feel like I have a supportive community to surround me on my journey. Its just a waiting game now when it comes to getting started- 1.5 years at the maximum for me to head off to college. As a shorthair, I don't really know much in the way of hair care- I wash my hair every couple of days and use shampoo, but I don't know how to care for long hair at all. Any advice? I heard there's no routine specific to any one person and that I just have to find what works for me. I'm scared I won't be able to figure it out though.
Thank you for the help :)
Avi
Hey Avi!
You're welcome, little long haired bro! I just spoke to you from the heart; one (1) long haired bro to another.
I will give you advice. I have tried twice now to type out my advice to you in grooming and hair care and twice my laptop eliminates what I wrote. I will give you my advice incrementally; probably over three (3) messages.
While you are correct in saying that there is no "one (1) size fits all" approach when it comes to hair care for long haired guys there is one (1) universal: DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR!". Don't let a pair or scissors or a razor near your cranial hair. You din't say if you intended to grow your facial hair. If you intend to be clean shaven then of course pick up your razor. However, if you intend to grow out your cranial hair then don't trim it or cut it. You will feel a rush when you notice that your hair moves independently of you; when the wind blows it in this direction and that. Soon after that you will enter the "Awkward Stage" when your hair seems to develop a mind of its own. I mean when a lock of your hair goes this way and another lock of your hair curls in that direction. Just go with it. Wear a beanie or a bandana. Don't trim it. You will only be defeating your own purpose. Laugh at your hair and enjoy it. It will last several months until your hair develops sufficient volume and weight to lay down as you want it to. Celebrate the different milestones you will experience. For example: when you can bite your own hair, when your hair is chin length, and when your hair begins to brush against your shoulders. It is an exciting day for guys who are growing their hair out and a kind of "Rite of Passage" when your hair is long enough to pull it all together at the back of your head and tie it into your first pony tail. It might be a small pony tail and all the hairs in the front of your head may not reach to the back of your head yet but it is your hair and it is your pony tail.
I will stop here for now. More to come later.
Your long haired bro,
Raymond
Thanks for everything Raymond, I managed to read through just now. Schoolwork is picking up and I need to keep up with that as well, so sorry if I'm not as active here :( I'd like to see pics of your hair for sure, do you have any?
Thanks :)
Avi
I just wanted to start to get to know you guys and hear from you about your personal tips regarding hair care and where exactly to start when I start growing out- I want to make sure to keep my hair as healthy as possible and I want to know what I'm doing when I start, so that I don't screw up somewhere along the way and mess up the work I've put in.
Hey Avi!
As we recognized before; One (1) guy's regiment of hair care might not be the way another guy cares for his hair. That being said; here is my hair care regiment:
I shampoo and condition my hair twice a week, on Sun. and on Wed. I use shampoos and conditioners that are sulfate free and/or enriched with biotin. In fact, I take a biotin supplement each day for the purpose of strengthening my hair and fostering hair growth. For shampoos I use "Everyone Nourish Shampoo" and "Mill Creek Botanicals Biotin Shampoo". For conditioners I use "Mill Creek Botanicals Biotin Conditioner" and "Marc Anthony Hydrating Coconut Oil & Shea Butter Sulfate Free Conditioner". I use one (1) set of shampoo/conditioner one (1) week and the other set the next week. I do this because it prevents build up of the same product in my hair and the variety is good for my hair. I let my hair dry naturally; I do not use a blow dryer. Upon coming out of the shower I comb my hair back with a wide toothed comb, detangling any tangles. Don't force the comb through a tangle. This will tear your hair and break it. Work tangles out gently with your fingers. After combing I brush my hair back. I tie my hair back into a simple pony tail. I use two (2) ties. The first I tie low at the back of my head. I use the second tie as far down on my pony tail as possible. In that way I can position two (2 chains from two (2) religious medals which I wear so that they catch the second tie and hold my pony tail down. Then I can put on my shirt and my pony tail is under the back of my collar and is secure under my shirt. In this way I look professional. If someone looks at me directly in my face they may not notice that I have a pony tail. If they look at me from the sde they may notice my pony tail, however, they will not know how long my hair is because it is under my shirt. At night, as I am praying I take my hair out of the pony tail and finger comb it, gently working out any tangles. I may comb my hair after finger combing it with my wide toothed comb and may brush it. If I feel the need to scratch my scalp I do so with my finger tips and not my finger nails. This kind of massage is good for my hair and scalp as it promotes blood circulation which feeds the cuticles of my hair which promotes hair growth.
I hope that this is helpful. I have more to say in another post.
Your long haired bro,
Raymond
Hey Avi!
I would like to follow up on what I said yesterday.
When I do shampoo/condition my hair I do a very through shampoo and then I condition normally.
I normally put my hair back in a pony tail. However, when I don't have to "look professional" I prefer to take my hair out of the pony tail and just let it go freely. Sometimes it gets in my face but I don't mind; I simply shake it away from my face and thank God for my hair.
You might encounter people who will make disparaging remarks about your hair as it gets longer. They may say that you look like a girl. They may even threaten to physically restrain you and cut your hair. Don't respond in kind. Usually the best response is to look at them and walk away. After all, you're a long haired bro. Their small mindedness is really beneath you and not worth a response from you. Beside, your strength to continue to grow out your hair in the face of criticism as well as the awesome way you are going to look as your hair gets longer may well inspire another latent long haired bro who would also like to grow out his hair. There are many guys who are thinking about growing out their hair but hold back because they are afraid of what others might say to them. You might inspire another long haired bro to grow out his hair.
Chronicle your progress by taking pics and post them. We're here to encourage you and to share advice.
Your long haired bro,
Raymond
Dear Fr Raymond,
I enjoyed your reflections, and my own experience bears it out. It is instinct for many of us. Whether long hair confers "special powers" I am sceptical, but it is a powerful symbol for those of us who have long hair. It will not mean the same thing to other people as it means to us. This is our main difference from the world of fashion and social conformity. I have reached the stage where cutting my hair would be something detrimental and degrading.
Most of us know about terminal length, and some of us will reach it sooner than others. It's just how we are. Some get as long as 7 years, and others only get 5 years of growth. As I have said before, I am very happy to be able to tip my head back and tickle the bottom of my back with the tips of my longest hairs. I might get more. Who knows? I have passed the four-year mark.
It can't be easy for a youngster with conservative parents. It was the case for me. The last time I saw my father, he took a bunch of my hair in his hand and gently tugged it, asking "What's this?" We have to understand someone who was born in 1928, went to English public school, served in the Army for two years before going to university, getting married and having his kids in the 1950's. I just asked him gently "What does it look like?" - he laughed. I don't expect him to find it normal, but he and I understand each other.
You make a good point about long hair on men being normal before the mid 19th century when the cult of Victorian masculinity came in (short hair and facial hair). A man who is himself and free has long hair. That is as true today as 300 years ago.
I remember my own awkward stage and the remarks from my wife, and MLHH (she calls it "The Cult" because she thinks she knows all about human hair) has been a good reality check for me. We are a minority, and care nothing for fashion and conformity even when we have a healthy social life with family, friends and people at work. My routine is simple, daily brushing and weekly washing with shampoo and conditioner followed by natural drying without using a hair dryer.
I wear my hair loose nearly all the time, and tie it into a tail for any practical reason or when I need to be in formal dress or clericals. I have never bothered with buns.
Welcome, Avi, and be patient with your parents and the ambient fashions. You might be surprised if you explain things to your parents, assuring them that you won't take drugs or stop your normal hygiene routine.
Anthony
Hi Avi,
Welcome to the mlhh and our little community of longhaired men.I see you received some fine replies from members Anthony,Raymond, and Jason.Our group has existed, I'd say, over 15 years and during that time has supported many guys like yourself who have questions about being a man wanting or maintaining longhair.My hope is that when you leave your parents house you will enjoy the thrill of growing your hair out.In my case I've had longhair of various lengths for over 30 years.Nowadays I never trim it and feel I've achieved my terminal length. All I do for hair care is shampoo every other day followed by a conditioner to keep the hair hydrated.Frankly my longhair is easy to care for as its straight, but fine.The last five years or so I've kept my hair colored with henna.Its a natural dye that's not harmful to your hair like some chemical colorings would be.I love how it looks in henna and have received numerous compliments.Anyway I'm glad you took the step to introduce yourself and hope to hear from you again.Even if you have not yet started your journey please do stop in to comment or ask questions.Happy New Year my friend.Cheers
Mârk
Thanks Mark :) I'll definitely stay in touch when I start and I look forward to being with this community.
Hi Avi,
Welcome to the MLHH! I'm afraid I really can't add much to what everyone else has already said. But I can tell you that your 1.5 year wait to start growing your hair should prepare you for the wait while your hair grows. Patience is what it takes! And I wish you nothing but fast hair growth and understanding from your parents. Do well in school and help your parents as much as possible. I'm sure they will understand your long hair. I look forward to your updates!
Ted
Thanks so much Ted! I've spent the last four years preparing for the journey ahead of me, and each day has been hard since I just want to start so badly :( I'm ready to wait but the sad part is I could have gotten a lot done in the time I've been waiting so far. School is going well and I definitely will give my parents the help they need. Thanks so much for the kind words, and I can't wait for the day that I can post my first hair update :)
Always remember good things come to those who wait! And the longer you have to wait for something usually the more you appreciate and enjoy it. Just think of how it will be when people will ask you how long you've been growing your hair. And you can tell them 4 or 5 years. That will be cool. Also, you will be looking badass as well. Press on my friend!
Ted
