new thread
Hey all... hope this post finds you well and healthy, safe at home from COVID.
Sitting at home has given me a lot of time to think and reflect and I'm starting to lean toward getting a haircut for some reason. Maybe it's the result of being inside for too long continuously but... just thought I'd post and try to get my thoughts out to the only people who'd understand them, you guys.
I've known I've wanted long hair since a very young age, I remember knowing this at about age 2 or 3 even. I couldn't grow it out for a long time because of conservative parents, but once I turned 18 I finally began and now I'm at about nipple length, have been growing for 2 years at this point.
The goal is to grow to hip/classic length, which should take about 2-3 more years by my estimate. I made it out of the awkward phase about a year ago so I'm definitely not discouraged by that in particular.. it's a bunch of other factors.
For one, I think the fact that even after two years I'm nowhere near my target length has gotten to me and is discouraging me. I think if I were there already I would be perfectly happy, but waiting takes a toll on me- I have a form of ADHD and just am jumpy/impatient in general as a result.
I'm also starting to feel like I just looked better with short hair rather than long hair. That's obviously something left up to opinion but I can leave some pics so you guys can understand what I mean. Obviously things might be different if my hair was longer but as of now its not very long. At greater lengths maybe I could do a striking sephiroth type look but who knows...
Before: https://i.imgur.com/yWAvonW.jpg
After: https://i.imgur.com/kn5XAXW.jpg
Also, I haven't figured out how to style my hair at all. I haven't figured out the manbun nor any other style that looks good on me... I would ask my female friends but at this point I can't because of the lockdown.
This one will sound stupid, but dating/sex has been way harder with long hair. I would fairly frequently get attention from girls when I had short hair but now it's almost never. As a young guy in my late teens it's difficult to go without sex for long periods of time, no matter what the media says about abstinence culture and such. There's no denying that having longer hair has worsened my dating life. That's something that many of us have dealt with and I was aware going into this but I didn't realize just how hard it might hit.
Overall, I'm not going to make a rash decision here. I probably still will not be going back to short hair in any case but I just wanted to put this out there and get it off my chest because it had been bothering me, and I wanted to hear what others thought and if they had been through similar things. I need to be careful and think anything through before I do something I regret. I'd love to hear from you and your experiences so I can make the proper choice for myself.
At the moment, what I'm thinking is to give it about another year, and if it still isn't working out well for me then I'll make the chop. That's not a concrete plan but just something I've been mulling over. But as I said, I want to hear everyone's thoughts and think about it properly before I do anything stupid.
I really appreciate you all! Hope you're staying safe and well!
Cheers,
Avi
I would vote for the after picture hands down. It all comes down to patients. Hair grows at a 1/2 inch per month so it takes time.
Also if you cut it then it will take that much longer to grow to your desired length.
As far as women go, I've had long hair since 1964 and i've been married for 34 years this month.
So sorry for the late reply. But thank you :) I think I should be patient and not make a brash decision. So I'll stick with it! Thank you for the encouragement :D
Hey-o, I'm going to make this short and to the point ;p :
1 - Do you really want to go back to where things were in the beginning, because things aren't growing fast enough to your taste? Do you want to ruin a dream you've always had since you've been a young child with a quick clip of a scissor? Trust me, once you've had your hair cut and look in the mirror - like many who have on this board in the past, you'll regret it instantly.
2 - Which is more important, making love more frequently or living a dream?
3 - Pandemic and lockdown, anyone? Might effect dating. Also, maybe as you get older and you/those around you continue to mature, dating habits are changing & evolving? Perhaps miss right hasn't come along yet in this evolving dating process?
4 - Just let it down!... stying is overrated ;p .
5 - Photo with long hair is 510% much better ^^ !
These are just my thoughts though. Please don't make any rash decision that you'll immediately regret :) .....
haha thanks for posting these! they make a lot of sense... tbh letting it down might be the way to go ;) but I'm not going to make a brash decision, I'll keep at it. I appreciate it :)
I think what you're going through is perfectly normal, Avi! Every guy who grows his hair long has his doubts, even the ones who are ride-or-die longhairs (like me, lol). I've been growing my hair for a little over 2 and a half years, and my hair's only just grown past my shoulders. It can be EXTREMELY frustrating to play the waiting game. However, I have a friend whose hair has been waist length for over a decade at this point, and he told me the urgency to have long hair will go away around the 2-foot mark. He also told me to cherish what hair length you have, and try to live in the present. I know it's hard, but it definitely helps!
Regarding dating life, you should ask yourself two questions: "Would I be happy being in a relationship with a woman who does not respect my desire to have long hair?" If the answer is no, then your choice is clear. You need to learn to love yourself before you learn to find someone who loves you, not the other way around. Women love a man who knows exactly who he is and what he wants. I must also add that there are tons of women out there who love men with long hair.
Hope this helped!
I'll add to what was said above. My wife - the first time I grew out my hair, hated it - totally hated it. She came to realize though through time that what was most important was who she loved, not how she wanted her love to look. When you come across the right one - and it may take time, which is the most important thing when it comes to finding Miss Right -- a relationship that will last through thick 'n thin (and not just someone who you "think" you "may like")... that person will love you for whom you are, no matter what. Have patience - just my two cents :) . I really doubt it's your hair...
...and when thinking about it a little more, perhaps all of the dates in the past were "false positives" when it came to a good relationship ;) .
Anywho, just want to finish by saying your hair is *GREAT*!!!!! Man I wish I had hair like that ;*0 .....
Thanks so much! Hearing what your friend had to say really gave me hope and made me really want to wait it out till that point, because once I'm there I'll feel so much happier :) It's the journey not the destination, as they say :D
Thanks for that advice regarding dating. I definitely want to prioritize loving myself and my needs rather than what a potential partner would want, so you definitely made me realize that I'm the first priority, not women. Thanks :D In any case I'm going to stick at it and keep growing it out, and not make a brash decision. I think it'll be great :) Thanks a lot ^_^
Confidence is the key to meeting women. Short or long hair makes no difference or money for that matter. If you cut your hair and still have no confidence you will not meet women.
Darrin
Greetings Avi,
First off thank you for your post and trust in our community to share your feelings with us all regarding your hair growing process but honestly I looked at both your before and after pics and in my personal opinion you are extremely handsome with long hair.Being young your hair has great color and texture and you have years of potential as you experiment with different ways to wear your hair.I know I'm biased but guys look great in long hair for the most part.I started growing my hair long in my early 20s and kept it that way to present day.Tomorrow I turn 58 so think of the decades I've enjoyed having long hair.However we are all different, with different goals and life experiences.Your doing the right thing to give it time and not make a hasty decision to cut.In the end you do this for yourself and no one else my friend.That's how I've dealt with my hair for all those years.If people shun you just because you have long hair what kind of friends are they in the long haul.Be true to yourself Avi and do what makes you happy.Please keep us posted and don't hesitate to ask for further advice.Cheers.
Mârk
Thanks so much Mârk :) Of course you guys are the only ones who understand my feelings regarding long hairs so this is where I come to share them :)I appreciate the advice so much, you're very right. If this is what I want then I shouldn't lose hope and patience, I should stick at it and keep going. I feel once I reach my goal of hip I'll feel much more happy about it too. Anyways I really appreciate this and I am going to keep going, not make a brash decision. Expect more updates from me :) Thanks a lot Mârk!
Hey Avi,
I loved reading this and all your replies to the other guys.You have a great support group on this site in spite that board activity has slackened off over the last couple years.Still in real life I still see a good amount of guys sporting long locks so we are still out there :)We used to have a couple women post here years ago who were great at supporting us as I miss them not being around but they were very nice.I wish I could remember their user names but that escapes me at the moment.Anyway you young guys need to carry the touch as,in my personal opinion, there will ALWAYS be longhaired men on this planet! Cheers my friend.
Mârk
I am glad to hear that :) I see a decent amount of guys outside with long hair- I would put the number at maybe 5% :) Which city do you live in if I can ask? Usually the more liberal cities will have more long haired guys. I'm in San Jose which has a more neoliberal culture- that is, everyone conforms to stereotypes/norms but hold liberal political views. A city like nearby San Francisco has a large longhair population though, because they are true liberal in the sense that they don't conform. We definitely have to carry the torch! I think the vast majority of the younger long haired men are on reddit.com/r/fierceflow. I post there occasionally as well and it is a great community. This hyperboard feels more personal but I enjoy posting in both :) Cheers Mârk, thanks so much :D
Hi Avi,
I know the area you live in very well being I visit the bay area yearly since my brother resides there.I've been to SF a lot as well as the outlying areas and feel the amount of longhaired men is on par to where I live in the suburbs of NJ near NYC.Political leanings likely have the same mix when comparing the two coasts.I've never used reddit as I'm either on mlhh or FB longhaired groups.I will add I've met in person many longhaired guys as a direct result of the hyperboard.Many out in the bay area and locally here by me as well.Not so much nowadays but years ago when the mlhh was much busier.Hope all is well with you out west with all that's been going on my friend.Cheers
Mârk
I think r/fierceflow might be a cool place for you to check out! ;) But thank you- I will stay safe :) take care Mârk !
I would love to have your hair!! Just keep working on your self confidence and wait for the girl that loves you for who you are and doesn't try to change you.
Thanks man! I will hang in there, why rush things :)
Avi, you look absolutely great with long hair. I don't think hair is your problem. If you are not doing well with the ladies it must be something else going on with you. You seem a bit depressed. Find someone to talk to about it-- by phone or online or something. If you love long hair, obviously giving it up is not going to help anything.
Thank you so much, i appreciate it :) I will keep at it and as for depression I am seeing a therapist and working on it. I have made great progress in that regard but I think there's more to be done :) thanks a lot ^_^
Avi,
You should goggle Peter Steele from the band Type O Negative. He is now deceased, but this man may change your views regarding long hair and women.
Darrin
