new thread
Need to know if anyone has had similiar experience...
After years of conservative haircuts every three weeks, I decided to grow my hair longer, still keeping this schedule, but taking off less with each cutting. As I work in middle management at a very conservative company, I was concerned about the perception. I now find myself extending cuts to every six weeks. By using mousse, I am able to help control my hair by pushing it behind my ears, although the back covers my shirt collar. At 44, I find I like the longer style, although I don't think this affects the level of my work, I wonder if growing longer might, although I have considered the topic. As many my age, I have thinned on top. Has anyone else been in a similiar situation and what was the outcome?
Based on what you said, I cannot imagine you having an EASY time
going through the AWKWARD phase.
You mention getting your hair cut fairly regularly...well that
is just putting off the inevitable...
Go for it or cancel out.
I am a 34 year old college grad and have had long hair since the age of 16. I remember professors telling me (and other long hairs like me) that I/we would "have" to cut my/our hair one of these days if we wanted to get that "great/good job" that you always hear about while you're in college...I mean, that's what "higher" education is for right? right! I learned a ton of information in college...but the most important thing I learned concerning jobs & employment is this, "It's not what you know, but who you know". My college roommate just recently took "early retirement" from Delta here in Atlanta (he voluntarily took a package deal right before all of the "big lay offs" spread amongst all of the big corporations across the U.S. last year). Anyway, Delta had a policy that your hair could "NOT" touch your collar on your shirt...I think he said that it had to be at least an inch above your collar, but I am not positive on that. Yes, I perfectly understand the "policies" and the "professional corporate images" that companies strive to portray, but personally my idividuality is more important to me than the "big money" these jobs might pay. No, I'm not stupid - "of course I would love to make enough money to buy - and do - whatever I wanted", but I am not willing to conform...I am not willing to become a robot...I am not willing to become someone's puppet on a string, etc. Since graduating college in 1991 I have hung out in the "casual" office environment...things are a little more relaxed on this side of the "corporate fence". What do I do? I am presently working as an account manager for a catalogue company - the title sounds big & fancy, but it really isn't. I make just enough money to live comfortable - not rich, but comfortable. However, I am desperately looking to get out of the office environment...it's just not me. So my advice to you is simply do whatever it is that you wish to do by pushing the envelope with your current employer...only "you" know what is too far and what isn't too far. I do respect your bravery in the conservative environment that you're in! My philosophy? Narrow minded people who immediately judge a book by it's cover get on my nerves. People should be hired & fired based on their performance, not by how long their hair is?! Good luck to you and glad you have discovered the board here. Thanks again for sharing your situation.
"People should be hired & fired based on their performance, not by how long their hair is?!"
I couldn't agree more...
I can relate to your perception concerns in a conservative environment. I'm a law student who has decided to grow his hair out at the age of 30. As you can imagine, this field has hardly any longhaired men in it. However, I feel that if I can't be appreciated for what I have inside, then it's not worth it. I'm not in the top of my class, but I am average in my grades. To me, you only have one life to live, and that means making yourself happy. If part of the goal to make yourself happy means having long hair, then you have one life to do it in.
I think in conservative work environments, the hardest part is achieving ponytail length hair, because when it's in a ponytail, it's probably going to look as conservative as you can get. So, I think, the trick is making it through the growing phase until it can be pulled back in a ponytial, allowing you to look more conservative.
Finally, hopefully more men that are in conservative environments and conservative careers/industries will decide to grow, thereby showing society that longhaired men are not any less intelligent than anyone else.
You have one life...go for it and have confidence that it's how you carry yourself and who you are inside that matters, not how long your hair is.
Good luck.
I am 42, almost 43. I started growing my hair out two years ago in October. I am a teacher. I was teaching in a Catholic high school in the south--doesn't get much more conservative than that. IN the midst of my awkward stage, I interviewed for a job in a public school, which I got. To date, not a word has been said to me about my hair. I wear it in a ponytail to work, though when cold weather gets here, I plan on wearing it down. Each man has to feel his way through his own situation, but if you want long hair, 44 is certainly old enough to decide how you wear your hair. It is also old enough to be wise about what to do and not to do as you ease into it. This board is a great sounding board. Read Bill Choiser's essays about being a longhair if you have not. See the links. Good luck.
Robert
Seems that there are many midlifers on the Board. I am by a little more senior being almost 54. I am a physician and for 20 some years was always hung up about letting my hair get beyond 6"- partially because for years long hair was equated with not being "professional" and partly because I didn't have the skill to fight the awkward stage. By the late 90's, for my 50th I said I am fully established in the community and it is time for me after all these years so I started to subtly let my hair get longer and longer but trimming every three months about 1/4 inch so that it would remain shaped and the awkward stage would not be so awful ( I think this is called "dusting"). As it got longer, it got more easy to manage and the length of time between trims is now about 20 weeks. My hair is now about 7 inches below my collar and found that I can now wear a very straight ponytail ( about 7 inches long now) (the neat look), I can use heat to make it full and straight into a long bob style or I can scrunch it and make it super curly giving me three different looks which I get nothing but compliments for. I am a physician and to my shock not only do I get compliments from my patients, my new patients think I am in my mid 30's! I also have found that many longhairs are now coming to me since I guess the word has gotten around about a longhair doc in the area. I also color and recently got the guts up to subtly highlight my hair which really adds to the vibrance of my hair.
What is the point? If you want it badly enough, do it. I think that you will be shocked at the reponse if the people around you are sincere. If not and they are jerks, fine- at least you will be able to sort out who is worth continuing to associate with and who is expendable. Also, being able to change your appearance and to have the flexibility not to look like the same person every day, eliminates a lot of boredom and negativism about your appearance- it is really unimaginative to look like every other skin head out there.
But one caution: keep it clean and well groomed and don't let it get dirty, smelly greasy or wild- take good care of it like you would a fine wine because repairing or replacing damaged hair is a not only disappointing but can be down right frustrating.
I'm 47 and I've been growing my hair for the last year. I have a job where appearance doesn't matter so I can't advise on that aspect. But 44 isn't too old to grow your hair. My only adverse comments have been from children who want to know why I want 'lady's hair'! The worst stage for me was when my hair looked like it was just overdue fro its next cut.
bye, Rick