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People will often ask you, "Why are you growing your hair long?" If you're like me, you're tired of explaining it, so I have prepared a list of alternative responses you can use to keep from getting bored:
1) I'm on haircut strike, and refuse to cut my hair until a lasting world peace is reached.
2) I live in a tower and am hard up for a date.
3) I'm not, it's just doing it whether I like it or not.
4) Isn't it supposed to grow? (Look sincerely confused by the question)
5) It's part of the Thomas Jefferson look I'm going for
6) I don't want people mistaking me for you.
7) My head was cold.
8) I don't know. (Kinda leaves em with nothing to say)
9) Oh my GOD!! It was short this morning!! (Then run away in a panic)
10) Your wife said I should. BTW, you're out of condoms.
The Rev
This one's a keeper. Thanks. ;-)
Awesome, awesome post. I'll be sure to use some of this reasoning the next time certain thick-headed people dare to re-address their inquiries to the point of harassment.
Reminds me of the times I used to get my hair cut (what a fool I was): Upon encountering me, my friends would always address the painfully obvious to make small talk: "So, you got your hair cut, huh?"
To that, my reply would always be "NO. My hair decided to GROW SHORT".
Atleast now I have a personalized excuse for growing it out (so that they can no longer address the question which did little more than acknowlege the fact that I had my hair cut).
I know this all sounds incredibly trivial, but I hate stupid, pointless questions like that. I am a dedicated follower of SNAPPY ANSWERS TO STUPID QUESTIONS.
10) Your wife said I should. BTW, you're out of condoms.
LMAO!!!
i like the last one... how about:
11) i'd really like to cut it but i've already dedicated my life to pissing you off.
have been small children. We usually laugh about it. I tell them that I grew it because I wanted to. They tell me I look like a girl, and then I respond by pointing to the girls and say, "they look like girls, I don't look like a girl". Then we laugh some more. I think that most chidren like it. I'm very popular with them. It's only adults that are a-holes.
I know what you mean. I work at an elementary school and all the children are extremely fascinated by my hair. I've never had them say anything bad, but they always ask questions. The best response I ever got was from a first grader. He asked his mother if he didn't cut his hair if it would look like mine. She said it would, and he was totally shocked and perplexed by the idea that boys can grow long hair too. I find their curiosity charming.
Evan
Children are cool usually, its their parents who make them have bad feelings about long hair.
Actually, children are a-holes too, they just aren't a-holes to adults because they perceive them as authority figures. The torment that children inflict on each other, on the other hand, can scar a person for life.
I think it's a cross generational thing. Children are okay with adults, and vice versa (evil people nonwithstanding). But if either an adult or a child is with his/her own kind, it's a whole different story. Like a kindergarten teacher is probably the sweetest person in the world, to the kids, but in the teachers' lounge she's standing around gossiping with all the other catty bitches while her little angels are off ganging up on a chubby (or otherwise different) classmate.
No age group has a monopoly on decent behavior; people of all ages can, and often will be, enthusiastically unkind.
The Rev
...I don't know...my head was cold.......he..he & he..he, again.
Fabulous responses! Great thinking Rev. (Actually.........and this is my own personal opinion), the people with the "comments" are utterly fascinated! Why? Is not a guy with beautiful long hair nothing short of a "Work of Art" the way Nature intended? :-) Bravo!
Here's one:
Humans grow hair because that is a natural function of your body...just like you urinate because your body produces urine. Maybe you've noticed that before?