new thread
Well, I finally had my first encounter with a person calling me the
“Longhair’s n-word,” “get a haircut.” I have been growing out my hair for about three and a half years now, and I have always wondered if I would be cursed at in this way. Soooo, I decided to be prepared.
I, and my girlfriend of thirteen years just moved down the block from a rented house to a house we purchased together. After a week of living in my new house, I had a package that was mistakenly delivered to the old address, and the guy who owns that place came over to my new house to tell me about it.
Meanwhile he had a friend with him who had a serious military buzz cut and was probably in his mid thirties. Anyway, I had just awakened from a nights sleep, and my hair was loose, not in a ponytail and a bit messy. I walked out to the balcony in the front of the house, and after the owner of the other place told me about the package, I heard a voice from down on the street in a idling giant 4x4 pickup truck, saying “what are you going to do about your hair!” It was windy standing out there, and my hair was blowing all over my face and then I heard the voice in the truck say “when are you going to get a haircut,” I asked the voice in the truck why he was so concerned about my hair. He couldn’t hear what I was saying sitting in the passengers seat, still strapped in, so he turned off the ignition. I repeated what I had said, and he said, “Oh, I am just fuckin’ with ya.” Then he said, “if you come down here, I will cut it for you.” So, I said just a second. I think he must have thought that I was going to get a gun or something. Anyway, I went to get a piece of paper with a list of “longhair stereotypes” I had written down. Then I put my hair in a ponytail and went down to the truck. I said hi, my name is Larry, and I am a bit confused. I have this list here to show you, and could you please tell me which of these stereotypes you are referring to. Here is the list I handed him:
Gay, homo, faggot, queerDrug user, drug fiend, doperHippie, rebel, counter culturistBiker, illiterate redneck, outlawCriminal, thug, juvenile delinquentVagrant, bum, transientJesus freak, religious fanaticEvil rock musician, metal headTransvestite, girly man, pretty boyLowlife, trailer park trash, scumbagComputer geekEccentric artistNon-conformistMid-life crisisistRapist, child molester, sexual deviant, pervertFilthy person, lazy person, unproductive person
Anyway, he picked out “Hippie.” Maybe because I put on a “far-out” shirt to go with my long hair. :-)
After that, I said thank you, and then said that I would like to say
something to you now. What I said was this.
If you and I were standing at the edge of a cliff, and you lost your balance and were about to fall, I would reach out to you and save your life by pulling you to safety, even though I know of your non-acceptance of me. I went on and said that I would do this because I respect you as another human being sharing our planet, as I respect myself and desire others to respect me as well. I continued, when I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, I see a person with integrity. When you get up in the morning and look in the mirror, whom do you see? At this point, he didn’t say anything more, and the driver said “we’re outta here,” and they drove away.
As a note, some stereotypes, such as Hippie I really do not mind. The fact that it is used as a stereotype is not cool. It is like telling an ethic or racial joke. When one does, it puts that person in a pseudo superior position. What right do they have to judge what is right and wrong about how a person expresses oneself. As far as I am concerned, long hair on men is a NON-ISSUE period. It is not raining on anyone’s parade or negatively affecting anyone in any way, besides we all know how beautiful it is. :-)
Of course then the religious person gets involved and says that
there are laws against people running around nude in public, and since they interpret the bible saying that long hair on men is a sin, they don’t want their children exposed to long haired men in public, and that there aren’t enough laws. Gee, maybe all the longhairs will get to join all the pot smokers in prison pretty soon. Oink oink…
Great inspiring post
interesting...
i would interperet the incident more that the passenger insulted himself by tipping off his narrow-mindedness. he did bother to respond to your list so you might be well-advised to laugh off such an incident. i can't speak for the tone of voice or body language used, but it seems that the one thing effectively communicated was that you were offended by the comment & that can only motivate the individual to deliver further slurs. a narrow-minded person isn't likely to be 'educated' by a speech such as yours regardless of the very good points you make.
my response might have been to walk casually up to the passenger in question, muster up my most disarming smile and respond, "just as soon as hell freezes over, thanks so much for your concern."
Gay, homo, faggot, queerDrug user, drug fiend, doperHippie, rebel, counter culturistBiker, illiterate redneck, outlawCriminal, thug, juvenile delinquentVagrant, bum, transientJesus freak, religious fanaticEvil rock musician, metal headTransvestite, girly man, pretty boyLowlife, trailer park trash, scumbagComputer geekEccentric artistNon-conformistMid-life crisisistRapist, child molester, sexual deviant, pervertFilthy person, lazy person, unproductive person
Great response man!
My response is usually effective in one way or another:
"Well, I COULD cut my hair, and it might or might NOT be an improvement. But you're just butt ugly, and NOTHIN' will ever change that!"
I just ignore rude people. I figure it's their loss, not mine.
The nastiest communication you can send back to a rude person is "you don't exist", because above all, people choose to be rude to get noticed.
True comment. There was an old "Twilight Zone" episode (or similar show) in which convicted individuals were made to live in society, but everyone was to totally ignore them. No one spoke to them, responded to them, or even looked at them. Most prisoners simply went mad.
Strange!
Petros
Well it sure beat the hell out of what I did today. I was just walking home after school, and I had spotted these 6th graders who seemed to have brought upon themselves to show me the error of my longhaired ways, and I wanted to see what they would say today. They tried to change me with such comments as, "Do you like guys?"(Nothing personal against gays, but it is really rude to ask that question), "You're really out of fashion", then they began debating on the fashion of long hair(I just told them I really never cared about faahion), and, "You need a haircut," to which I replied the classic, "So I can look like you?" Of course none of them decided to back off. Some of them even were throwing things at me, and even though it wasn't the right thing to do, I punched one of the about six in the stomach after this incident and two about the sexual preference questions. Then one of them had thrown rocks at me and seemed quite smug about it, telling me that it was him. By this time they had seen that I was punching them in the stomach, mostly to not have any lasting evidence, and was guarding his, so after a few seconds of assessing what I could do, I threw an open palm strike to his head, then walked off. I know I should hve just walked off and ignored them, but I chose against my better judgment and responded to their jeers.
Well done, my friend