new thread
Okay. For the past few months I've been half-heartedly looking for a job. In the past 2 months I've had 2 job interviews but didn't get the job, which in my opinion is because I was REALLY REALLY nervous and could barely answer the questions put to me, which were really stupid questions.
Anyway, now my parents, who have been pretty cool up till now, have decreed that unless I get a job by the new year, I must go and get a haircut, because evidently they think that my hair is getting in my way. And to be brutally honest, I don't see myself getting a job by that time.
So, what am I to do? First, there is no damn way I'm going to allow this. I may still live at home but there's no bloody way I'm going to allow them to alter me however they see fit. If worst comes to worst and they try something dirty and underhanded on me, like cutting it when I'm asleep or something, I know exactly what I'm going to do, and that is to turn into my brother, who is a total lazy slob who does nothing, and sloth around all day, never cleaning up after himself. And I just won't bother looking for a job at all, just lie around all day and make dirty dishes but not clean them, not bother to dust, not bother to wipe the dog's feet when she comes it, and leave nice big messes in the hallway when I come up, which I will not mop up. I'll feel like a total asshole doing that, but if someone tries to mutilate me, I will cease to be a doormat and turn into a nasty vicious he-bitch who screams profanities and is totally irrational. My own grandmother has suggested something mind-bendingly stupid, which is to get it cut and then let it grow afyer I get a job, and I didn't even dignify THAT with a REPLY.
Oh, and I'll get piercings and tattoos.
Oh, and I'll shout at my dad that he's a facist. Considering his recent political attitudes that won't be a stretch.
But any ideas to prevent this horrible fate?
Have you considered seeing if you can stay with some friends? It sounds a bit like what I was going through last spring. You could threaten to move out, which, I almost did actually do. Of course, in my case, I was 26 at the time, and did have access to a car, even though they were threatening to take my keys away. I essentially spent a lot of time away from home during the day, and only came home to sleep. About a week later, it seemed like my mother had cooled off and returned to her normal self. Now things are going just fine. I've got my hair as long as I did before it got cut in April (the stylist did have some mercy on me and didn't whack as much off as my mother wanted removed), and, I'm wearing the clothing I wanted to in the first place. Eventually, after I am with a job and have earned enough cash, I probably will find a place of my own, but, I will be leaving on good terms, instead of leaving when everything around me is falling apart.
-J
I'm rather lucky. My job, one of the semi-over lords has long purple hair, and a few piercings. My other boss is a female, and encourages me to grow my hair out.
My problem is, it just won't grow fast enough!!
I once heard great advice, well more than once and it should be well-known:
-Anything worthwhile WILL TAKE TIME and patience, something that is done rashly will just tend to lose its importance.
I can tell you an example: if hair was to grow at 1 inch per day, then everyone not shaving everyday or week would be longhairs, but now why would we care for the hair we grow? It would just be "old" after 7 days and we wouldnt care about it. What makes it worthwhile is that it takes time and care, and then your efforts (which you had to make) will be rewarded
Dude, where are you working at? Sounds like a pretty positive, easy-going work environment, which is usually the most productive.
One more thing, do the bosses always make you refer to them as "semi-over lords"? If so, I retract my previous statement.
If you want a job QUICK, try applying at a telemarketing firm. I worked for one for about 7 months during my senior year of high school, and I'm going back for re-hire today. They're a great way to keep hair/piercings and still have a job that pays decently (usually almost twice minimum wage).
Also, every firm that I know of is always hiring.
As far as the job goes, it's not NEARLY as bad as you would think. And, at least at my office, there were quite a few longhairs, including one of my supervisors.
Good whatever you choose.
Erm, glad to hear that its working for you. In my experience, however, telemarketing has been nothing but a regretable mistake. I guess it all depends on the agency and their level of honesty with employees. My advice is that you be very cautious if you decide to stoop to the level of telemarketing: Realise that a lot of those agencies run shady operations and it you'll have no one but yourself to blame in the event that you get gypped out of hard earned money. I'm not saying your experience will be like that without exception; I'm just telling you to brace yourself if that's the road you choose to go down. Good luck either way (AND DON'T BE CALLING MY HOUSE! LOL).
I definitely agree with the idea that many of these are shady.
I applied to one such company on a Wednesday. They told me they were busy, and to return in 24 hours...in 24 hours, they were GONE (the entire office was cleaned out).
However, the company I work for now is very long-hair friendly, treats their employees with a decent amount of respect, and is always very good about paying what's due.
Silverfire:
Although I am still very unfamiliar with many of the specifics pertaining to your circumstances, based solely on what you confessed, I sincerely feel that I can sympathize with you. Like you, I am at an age where moving out is a serious possibility. Unfortunately for me, that's just not a valid resolution at this point, what with a lack of means to financial sufficiency (That's not to say that I still haven't given the notion serious consideration at the worst of times). I do all I can to accommodate my family and contribute around the house: I do virtually all the chores and major physical labour around here, and all I expect in return is a place to stay and food to eat (and its not as though those are very trying demands, as I just tend to eat whatever is left over of what everyone else was having). My problem is that in spite of these contributions that I make, my father is being a total jerk to me because the work I do does not earn me money in the most direct sense of things. Yet, my father is 100% cool with my sister because she managed to land a McJob a few months ago, even though she keeps all the money she makes for herself and does not contribute back to her family in any way. You may think I'm just jealous, but I haven't the time to explain just how selfish and destructive her behaviour has been to our family (So much so that my mother has threatened to kick her out of the house SEVERAL times). If the money she (My sister) was making was going towards paying rent of some kind, great; in that case, I could understand my father's tolerance for her selfish behaviour and indifferent attitude, seeing as how her financial instalments would make her a guest renting out this house and nothing more. BUT THAT ISN'T THE CASE, and in spite of my best efforts to articulate these points to my father, he refuses to reconsider the rational behind the utter contempt he holds for me. In his fascist eyes, I am worthless and an embarrassment to him because I am not earning money like everyone else. Hmm... Well, apparently the fact that I am a full-time student does not mean a thing to him. And don't get me wrong: It's not that I don't want a job... I actually feel ashamed, that unlike so many others my age, I am not working whilst pursuing my studies. The problem is that right now, I simply cannot land a job. Believe me, I've applied to every entry-level position in town, and I've yet to receive a single call-back. I recently sought out an employment centre to inquire as to what the hell was keeping me from being hired to positions that anyone is eligible for, regardless of a severe lack of skill and experience. Apparently, I am over-qualified for most conventional work, yet not yet certified with a degree to get a real job (Hence the work I do as a student). So right now I'm in an awkward situation somewhat similar to yours: My father will not stop harassing me, and its gotten to the point that his abusive stance has really bothered me emotionally, so much so that there have been when I didn't bother coming home at night. According to the employment specialist that I sought assistance from, I should be able to land a decent job within a few months, but to achieve that, I'm going to have to apply myself to consistent volunteer work for experience credit. While that sounds like a reasonable plan to me, I sincerely doubt that will sit well with my father. Because the work I'll have to do in the mean time will be voluntary (meaning that no money will be issued for my services), my work will go unrecognised by him because the only value he can acknowledge is that of IMMEDIATE financial gain. In other words, he is so stubborn with respect to the issue of work that unless my effort satisfies the criteria of his bottom line (Benjamins), my work is 100% useless and I'm only trying to avoid committing to real work in his eyes. I know this to be true since he was treating me just as poorly under similar circumstances a year ago when I was gaining not only school credit, but practical experience as a teaching assistant at my school (Hence my over-qualification for just about any entry-level job). As melodramatic as this may sound (Again, many details have been omitted for time constraints, not to mention preserving my own composure) it will be a real struggle to maintain my sanity while juggling school and intensive commitment to volunteer work while I work toward that job. So it looks like I'm going to be denied what should be a reasonable means (experience) to an end (temporary work until I finish school)...
Oh, how is this related to hair? Well, aside from sympathising with your situation, I should mention that it was around the time that I tried to assert my own independence by growing out my hair that this whole problem with my father began. What wonderful timing, huh? I'm struggled (and continue to struggle) to get reliable employment, even though I have more than enough experience that most employers would look for. Oh, and I say RELIABLE because I've already been screwed over multiple times by various telemarketing jobs that I took out of complete desperation (Even having done that was not enough to get my father to cut me some slack on the matter, to recognise my effort and to see that I am trying, but that there are circumstances interfering with his best wishes that will take time to sort out. He simply can't shake his notion of a 'quick fix' in this matter). It was under such conditions that I repeatedly caved in to my father's will and stuck with the same short and conservative hair cut year after year because it only seemed logical that a supposedly deviant look was what was having me discriminated from jobs that I was more than entitled to. Now I know better...
Great story! I havent had problems with my hair pertaining to employment, but I also have yet to find one that would keep me in direct contact with the public. I'm working in a warehouse, not minimum wage since they have a syndicate and good pay (heck in January, after less than 5 months I'll still have had a 36,3% upgrade on the paycheck...but even with the pay thats not the job I'm wishing for
What I'm dreaming about is to be a game developper (video games), but I dont have the required qualifications, except those to be a tester maybe (but do you have any idea how many people would just love to do that???) but I'll need qualifications even for that haha... cant return to study since I need to keep an income and work full-time, unless a radical change would happen.....
Well all this to say that if I was ever offered a job at Squaresoft's US division (or another major RPG company), I would not go and cut my hair, simply to "look better" and less devient to get the job. Do it for yourself, not someone else - and requiring that an employee cuts his hair is discriminating (unless obvious reasons can come to the employer's help: loose and dangerous in the working area (so must be tied, in a net/bun), and if its just looking too much messed up (supposedly compromising their marketing) but for that; if you really take good care of it then he really just discriminates you.
If you feel discriminated over getting a job you have all requirements for and have been overlooked because of your hair's color/lenght or any other physical criteria then you can surely intent something against that company
Thanks for the support! ...I see how your situation is a wee bit like mine, although yours seems to be much worse than mine. Here's hoping you live through it!
Positions where you're not in sight of the customers. One of the job interviews was for working at the back at Wal-Mart, and as I said, I expect that the reason for not getting that job was because I was so damn nervous. It *was* my Very First job interview, so I suppose that's allowable. Although I think that hair wouldn't really be an issue at the local one, since hey've hired someone who wears those stupid all-white contacts and is known to be a pothead :P
I'm going to start dropping off applications at resturaunts. I have no concern about wearing a hair net and so long as it isn't a McDonald's or Krustyburger (or Gulp 'n Blow, for that matter), I'll be relatively happy.
As for Squaresoft....once I would have wanted to work for them, but the debacle of Final Fantasy VIII and some other issues has made me loose some respect for them...plus, working in video game development apparently ruins your ability to PLAY games because you always critically analyze them. And that's not something I really want (says the guy who tools around with RPGMaker 2000 :P )
Perhaps on some simple and miniscule level... But I would argue that a fine knowledge of what truly seperates good games from bad ones (Structural elements and design, as opposed to an uneducated gamers shallow enjoyment of the title) will make you appreciate the good ones THAT much more. Sure, you will be more apt to dismiss the common title as crap, but dont you think its better that you understand why you should-should not admire the titles that you do (again, based on something more substantial than a purely shallow reaction).
Learning what seperates good literature from crap that happens to sell well is hardly a hinderance... Thats my take on the matter when applied to books instead of games (like games, books were meant to be enjoyed, so the comparison is remains valid on the level of enjoyment).
Knowledge equals power.
Power corrupts.
Study hard.
Be evil!
*lol*
Yes, all very fine points!
Silverfire: I'm glad to see that you've retained a sense of humor in spite of your troubles (You actually demonstrated it several times before, but now is the only time that I'd like to comment on it). Believe me, I can very much sympathize with a lot of your problems, and where many will simply dismiss your situation as whining, I have been through enough experiences myself to know that there are many factors that people can't conceptualize considering until they've been in your shoes for themselves. Granted, the more we talk about it, the further and further we'll drift away friom the focus of this website (hair!). Having said that, I wish you all the best of luck in coming to a satisfying resolution to your errands. Hopefully we'll all be able to find some peace...
Can you give me the email address for the squaresoft US divission i've been trying to find it so i can get a job there.
Silverfire:
Although I am still very unfamiliar with many of the specifics pertaining to your circumstances, based solely on what you confessed, I sincerely feel that I can sympathize with you. Like you, I am at an age where moving out is a serious possibility. Unfortunately for me, that's just not a valid resolution at this point, what with a lack of means to financial sufficiency (That's not to say that I still haven't given the notion serious consideration at the worst of times). I do all I can to accommodate my family and contribute around the house: I do virtually all the chores and major physical labour around here, and all I expect in return is a place to stay and food to eat (and its not as though those are very trying demands, as I just tend to eat whatever is left over of what everyone else was having). My problem is that in spite of these contributions that I make, my father is being a total ass to me because the work I do does not earn me money in the most direct sense of things. Yet, my father is 100% cool with my sister because she managed to land a McJob a few months ago, even though she keeps all the money she makes for herself and does not contribute back to her family in any way. You may think I'm just jealous, but I haven't the time to explain just how selfish and destructive her behaviour has been to our family (So much so that my mother has threatened to kick her out of the house SEVERAL times). If the money she (My sister) was making was going towards paying rent of some kind, great; in that case, I could understand my father's tolerance for her selfish behaviour and indifferent attitude, seeing as how her financial instalments would make her a guest renting out this house and nothing more. BUT THAT ISN'T THE CASE, and in spite of my best efforts to articulate these points to my father, he refuses to reconsider the rational behind the utter contempt he holds for me. In his fascist eyes, I am worthless and an embarrassment to him because I am not earning money like everyone else. Hmm... Well, apparently the fact that I am a full-time student does not mean a thing to him. And don't get me wrong: It's not that I don't want a job... I actually feel ashamed, that unlike so many others my age, I am not working whilst pursuing my studies. The problem is that right now, I simply cannot land a job. Believe me, I've applied to every entry-level position in town, and I've yet to receive a single call-back. I recently sought out an employment centre to inquire as to what the hell was keeping me from being hired to positions that ANY idiot is eligible for, regardless of a severe lack of skill and experience. Apparently, I am over-qualified for most conventional work, yet not yet certified with a degree to get a real job (Hence the work I do as a student). So right now I'm in an awkward situation somewhat similar to yours: My father will not stop harassing me, and its gotten to the point that his abusive stance has really bothered me emotionally, so much so that there have been when I didn't bother coming home at night. According to the employment specialist that I sought assistance from, I should be able to land a decent job within a few months, but to achieve that, I'm going to have to apply myself to consistent volunteer work for experience credit. While that sounds like a reasonable plan to me, I sincerely doubt that will sit well with my father. Because the work I'll have to do in the mean time will be voluntary (meaning that no money will be issued for my services), my work will go unrecognised by him because the only value he can acknowledge is that of IMMEDIATE financial gain. In other words, he is so stubborn with respect to the issue of work that unless my effort satisfies the criteria of his bottom line ($$$), my work is 100% useless and I'm only trying to avoid committing to real work in his eyes. I know this to be true since he was treating me just as poorly under similar circumstances a year ago when I was gaining not only school credit, but practical experience as a teaching assistant at my school (Hence my over-qualification for just about any entry-level job). As melodramatic as this may sound (Again, many details have been omitted for time constraints, not to mention preserving my own composure) it will be a real struggle to maintain my sanity while juggling school and intensive commitment to volunteer work while I work toward that job. So it looks like I'm going to be denied what should be a reasonable means (experience) to an end (temporary work until I finish school)...
Oh, how is this related to hair? Well, aside from sympathising with your situation, I should mention that it was around the time that I tried to assert my own independence by growing out my hair that this whole problem with my father began. What wonderful timing, huh? I'm struggled (and continue to struggle) to get reliable employment, even though I have more than enough experience that most employers would look for. Oh, and I say RELIABLE because I've already been screwed over multiple times by various telemarketing jobs that I took out of complete desperation (Even having done that was not enough to get my father to cut me some slack on the matter, to recognise my effort and to see that I am trying, but that there are circumstances interfering with his best wishes that will take time to sort out. He simply can't shake his notion of a 'quick fix' in this matter). It was under such conditions that I repeatedly caved in to my father's will and stuck with the same short and conservative hair cut year after year because it only seemed logical that a supposedly deviant look was what was having me discriminated from jobs that I was more than entitled to. Now I know better...
Dignity and self-confidence starts now!!
The trick is consistency. Do not one day make your point and the next day a cheap comprimise for the wrong reasons to make other people happy, and a week later you regretting it and insisting again on what you said in the first place.
Then you will be always manipulated and this will drag on forever and ever. Your life will feel more and more difficult, one day you feel good about yourself, the next day you doubting again the situation and most of all yourself in saying "maybe I am the problem after all".
What you feel NOW is right!!!!
That does not mean that you cannot change your mind anymore, maybe in February you say, no, this hairgrowing thing feels not right anymore and you want to cut it. Then cut it (after a 2 week thinking period hehe) because it is your (!!) decision in that moment, and therefore it is right! And do not think about what you thought 3 months ago or what will be next summer!! You decided it at that moment and for you it is the right decision.
But try to not stress your point with agression! Because then people will say, "oh he is still young and doesnt know anything etc". Keep cool, state your case, make your point, and then let it rest and try to avoid discussions and agression. So tell them, I did not get the job because I was nervous, or because it is not what I want to do and tell them in a quite manner that in your opinion it is not the hair. And then Stop!!! let it rest.....
Hey Silverfire,dont look for a job half-heartedly, think what you want to do and then go for it, if you do thinks this way you will remain unsatisfied.
And respect to grand-mummy, she knows what dilemma you are in and is looking for a way to help you, might be stupid in your opinion, but respect her that she came up with an idea!
And dont look at your brother either, he is a lazy slob for a reason, all he wants to do is to be happy as well, and he is looking for his way, you are looking for yours, respect that and thou will be respected!
Good luck
In the past 2 months I've had 2 job interviews but didn't get the job, which in my opinion is because I was REALLY REALLY nervous and could barely answer the questions put to me, which were really stupid questions.
Silverfire, I don't know how old you are, but assuming that you are at home with parents and they are making threats about you getting a job, I will assume that you are legally an adult. Perhaps in this post you are just venting, but you sound like a child. If you want your own life and to be able to make your own choices about your life (including what to do with your hair), you have to go make your own life. Quite frankly, if you are still home with mom and dad like when you were a kid, they get to make decisions for you like you were a kid.
Go get a job--any job--that will allow you the freedom to begin carving out your own path. Even if that job is one you hate, if it brings you some freedom to move out, so be it. Most of us, here, I bet, have worked those jobs.
Your retaliation for your parents threats are exactly what the more narrow minded world expect of longhairs. Do you want to give them that kind of ammo--against you--and the rest of us?
How about this--take the same anger that you are feeling toward your parents and use it to get out there today and find the job. Then, go find housing for yourself (most of us have lived in that less than desireable place, too).
And then go and thank your parents for giving you a reason to make your own life.
I do hope it goes well for you.
Robert
I'm 19 and yes, I was venting. Yes, I know that retaliation of the sort I spoke of WOULD give us a bad name. I don't want to do that. I know I sounded childish and bitchy, I realize that, but fear and anger will of course drop maturity down deverla points.
I can't exactly move out because I haven't got the money to do so. And Gods, how I wish I did. Moving into the city would greatly enhance my chances of getting employment, and then I wouldn't have to worry as much about getting TO the job I get. I live out in the middle of nowhere right now. And I'm always asking of my parents "But how will I GET to the job?" and they just say "get the job first then worry about transportation" which to be honest dosen't sound right. I do NOT have reliable transport at all. My grandmother, that's it, and she won't go out when weather is 'bad' (light rain counts as bad to a woman who drives like a maniac at the age of 76 or so. She's no slow little old lady!). I will hopefully have my G-2 in January (A G-2 is the license that lets you drive by yourself, for those who don't know about Canadian driving things) but then I'll need a car, and INSURANCE *ominous silence* Isn't gender sterotyping FUN, boys and girls? However, since I'm 19 it'll be better than if I was 17 (I'm sooo glad that I waited this long to get a license) but even so it'll be dreadful. I acn't get a job till I get a car, I can't get a car till I get a job. Isn't life GREAT?
And I'm trying to figure out how to get out of here. My stepsister has suggested that I find an apartment, go on welfare till I get a job, etc, but I would feel really bad about going on welfare and I'm worried that I would loose motivation to get a job if that were the case.
I am in Canada as well. Where are you? Maybe I can help with job search.
Sounds like you could use some interview skills. Check out the adult ed in your area to see if they have some classes or workshops on interviewing skills. Also, how old are you and what type of job do you want? It does not sound like you have been looking very long, either. 2 months is not a long time for a job hunt. Hang in there.