new thread
I don't usually do this but I have alot of time to kill today, and it's not off topic or anything. The other day, I over heard this longhaired guy complaining about how he can't get a "hot chick" because of his long hair... i looked at him and immediately thought to myself "IT'S NOT THE HAIR!!!" This guy had some really nice, clean looking dark brown hair which looked great. His clothing however wasn't exactly the best option for attracting women. He was wearing a cheap flannel shirt, some plain looking shirt underneath and a pair of cheap jeans (by cheap I mean they weren't name-brand, maybe they were expensive but they looked really plain). Now I don't mean to offend anyone, there is nothing wrong with wearing clothes like these but if you do don't complain about the fact that you can't get a super model. Next time you go to a public place look around, notice all the beautiful, fit, well dressed women are with handsome, fit, well dressed guys? And look at the less attractive, sloppy looking women and look at who they are with. There are exeptions though, if you have an extremely good personality (by good I don't mean your a saint or something, it could be the opposite as long as you stand out) and you look like crap you can still get a nice looking girl. I had a longhaired friend who wore nothing but torn up pants, beat up shoes and old band shirt with holes in them and was pretty ugly but this guy had one hell of a personality, he was not afraid to speak his mind and he basically did what he wanted when he wanted, well he also had a BEAUTIFUL girlfriend but for the most part this doesn't happen. I have noticed that quite a few longhaired men dress in a rather sloppy manner, usually they don't want to "conform" to name-brand clothing or simply feel comfortable in what they are wearing, there is nothing wrong with that but then these same guys ask themselves why women don't like men with long hair... once again, it's not the hair it's their overall appearance!!! For example, I have a few uncles that are around 40, out of shape, big beer belly, dress in cheap clothes and they are BIG perverts, when we get together on the holidays and such they question why they are single!!! They really can't figure it out!!! Longhair or not they look like crap, they are going to get crap! You can't expect a woman to work hard (or pay alot) to look beautiful and not have her expect the same from you. Want more proof that it's not the hair? Well there's also a few well-dressed longhaired guys, they workout, spend a little too much on clothes, use cologne etc. and these guys, longhair and all, usually have gorgeous girlfriends. I myself used to constantly shop at Wal-Mart, felt no need to workout (though I'm not fat but I've grown to love weightlifting now) and I thought shopping at expensive name-brand stores was for idiots.. I also had lots of trouble getting a g/f. I started changing my look and started getting more positive attention from "higher quality girls" aswell as teachers (all my grades have raised a bit even though my effort has not changed, hmm..) and even strangers (At stores, before I used to have to ask when I needed something, now everyone is alot more helpful w/out me even asking and alot of people start conversations with me now). So there's my proof that it's not the hair, it's everything else. Why did I post this? Well I'm bored, and I have also noticed that every now and then there's that post asking if women like longhair on men or not, well there's no specific answer to that one but a longhaired guy can definately have an attractive woman. Anyone agree or disagree? Sorry for any spelling errors, I didn't pay too much attention while typing.
If you change who you are to attract girls, you're going to attract shallow girls (Maybe beautiful, but shallow)
Not my cup of tea.
True! And I don't recommend people change their looks just to be accepted. I changed my looks b/c I couldn't stand my "look" anymore, I needed something more sophisticated/modern. The attention, higher grades, more girls that came along with that was just an added bonus.
But the real truth is you forgot to mention, is that it wasn't just you who couldn't stand your look, it was the trendy rich ass holes that laughed at you or said something like u need a haircut or they said something like nice shirt or nice pants when really meant to say they were not that nice.
I know it was in speech marks but it still made me cringe.
It's good to see such an open rant but I can't relate to this at all. I would never want a girl I'm interested in to feel like she had to dress up in brand-name clothes to impress me and I've never started a relationship that would make me feel that way either.
Maybe those people who aren't so apathetic towards the whole "dress to impress" ideology would agree with your post, but I can't see the sense in it.
TRANSLATION: I can't afford nice clothes so I can't attract high quality girls.
Good job, Tanner!
Better go and have a lie down, stringing all those words together must've been an effort.
sadly enough that is exactly what I meant! It is sad b/c that is what the world has come to, but as I said, when I wore expensive brand-name clothing I got treated MUCH differently. I for one like this, the clothes look quite nice anyway. BTW by high quality I was talking about looks.
But you took some time over it and didn't try to be directly offensive...
It's all cool with me. I know plenty of people who play the game but still remember what's important - it's when they forget that things get a little twisted.
I'm pretty sure most people are going to disagree with me. But think about this: You are downtown (or wherever) standing around waiting for someone/something or whatever and there are two women. One is wearing some tight designer jeans, an expensive looking tight top that shows off her nice abs and her other "features", she smells nice, has a beautiful face(it's most likely not flawless but through the use of products it is) and ofcourse nice hair. Standing next to her is a woman wearing some really plain looking slightly baggy jeans, an old faded shirt, a plain looking flannel shirt over that, she's got no figure and if she does you certainly can't tell, her face isn't as great looking b/c she's not wearing any makeup, she doesn't smell like anything and her hair isn't bad looking but it's not as well kept as the woman next to her. Who are you going to be staring at??? Who are you more likely to start a conversation with?? You don't have to reply to this but answer it honestly to yourself. Remember, us men aren't the only ones who enjoy looking at someone "hot".... (and these days you don't have to be hot to be considered hot, i'm not much to look at but it's amazing how big a difference little things like clothes, cologne etc. make)
What is their (hypothetical) personality like?
if the more "attractive" girl acts stuck-up, or is generally not as
friendly as the more 'plain' one, I won't even notice her...
actually, because of my experience with so-called "attractive" girls, (thin, pretty, but _really_ shallow and flighty...)
i much prefer the natural look, and the (usually) more attractive personality that goes w/ it...
;)
david F.
I do disagree, i couldn't care less if she's dressed to the t's, all done up and fit, if the other girl is comfortable wearing and being in what you described it means more to me than someone who feels she needs to dress up in order to 'be herself'. I'm so tired of guys drooling over hot babes.. get over it it's just a !#@)(*&)(* body. Show me a woman who looks good in a pair of cheap jeans/tshirt and is comfortable going out without haing to apply a clown face of make up and i'll pick her any day of the week over the well dressed woman who thinks the world ows her something...
"I'm so tired of guys drooling over hot babes.. get over it it's just a !#@)(*&)(* body."
I think it's just natural for some of us. I mean I can't really control what I find attractive and what I don't but if I see a girl with a hot body and nice, clean clothes etc. I will most likely be turned on. I believe that by taking care of your appearance and showing a bit of style, you show women that you really care about your presentation. And studies have shown that women really do respond to this, how accurate these studies may actually be is a mystery, but I am living proof that it does make a difference.
I'm with you man, I'd go for the higher maintenance girl
Most guys would go for the higher maintenance better looking chick, let's just hope she can pay for her own maintanence, a girl like that is a keeper! But when you have to pay for everything then basically the girl is just with you for your money, which means she is a gold digger, and probably would leave or cheat on you in a second if your income went down. And yes I speak from experience! I personally prefer low maintanence girls because there is more of a love for who you are feeling there, but on the negative side they can get jealous of girls that are hotter and wear nicer clothes. But who can say they have never been jealous of a person, everyone has at one time. The truth in life, I hate to think this way but its sad, women who are beautiful and gorgeous and dress hot are going to want a guy who is the same and has a six figure income or more. Opposites do attract sometimes in the looks department, but not in the money/fame dept.
Okay, don't everyone go jumpin' all over me or anything... this is just my OPINION.
Personally, I've never gone for the 'made up' look, where you look like you just stepped out of some kind of clothing commercial. I actually LIKE the 'unkempt' appearance of someone with faded and maybe slightly torn jeans, messy-ish hair and flannel shirts. Notice I didn't say 'dirty'. Greasy, stringy hair and the general appearance that someone mighta just crawled out of a gutter after a 6 day drunk does nothing for me, but neither does the appearance that someone is all made up to be something they're not and 'trolling' for a quick score. I like people who aren't dressed to impress, so to speak. To me, it shows they are confident enough in themselves to be who they are and not really care what the rest of the world thinks.
I can understand the need to dress appropriatly for whatever the occasion at hand might be. And I DON'T condone dressing in jeans and all that for say, a funeral. But, this is all just my warped little opinion, and god knows I'm in the minority when it comes to appearances!
all made up to be something they're not and 'trolling' for a quick score.
Did someone ask for a troll cuz here i be yo!
i think you have too much free-time
but I'm NOT saying: 'be a phony'!
Depends on your expectations too...
If you are L(.)(.)KING for a more 'sophisticated' girl
you need to send the signal that YOU are on the same wavelength
that she is on....namely the close you wear and the way you look after
yourself and your clothes...
TURN things around for a minute...
Would YOU go after a girl that looks like a slob? Dirty? Dressed in rags...
he..he...maybe...
depending on 'desperation' level...
hmmmm...
What was I saying...
...the 'close' you wear?....he..he...WHAT was I thinking?
So let's close this chapter on clothes.
What the hell is going on here? I believe that stuck up girls make my nuts ache. But also it is better to have a fine ass girl who doesnt dress super sexy because then your not battling off other guys. Plus in my expierience some bitches are psychos....p.s im scared
Also i seem that i dont have a point so here's one. I bought an 80 dollar enyce sweater and 90 dollar matching pants and when i finally got my license back i went out to the movies and almost every bitch in there was eyeballin me. Clothes make a huge difference and (most) girls that i know love long hair on guys.....word..so it tis not only the hair its everyhting about you my friend.
Oh wow, the troll had something worthwhile to say. :)
It's not just the hair or the clothes-it's also the personality.
Let's be honest-You usually don't find love while shopping or walking the street and it's more true when coming to guys because most chances are that girls won't start conversing with u unless u r really good looking.
On the other hand,the dating places are usually in places when you can talk to them like parties/discos/school/work etc.
In order to be successful with girls u need self confidence and nice personality.
So,long hair can increase ur self esteem and by that boost ur confidence,clothes can ADD to the impression but not create it and personality should help you find ur love.
So,all in all I think it's a combination of many things and neither clothes nor long hair make the difference alone.
I can empathize with your post (dressing well and up-to-date improves self confidence and gets you respect), but I feel basically that if a girl doesn't approve of the way you look or dress, it's probably not a girl you would get along with anyway. It goes both ways, if you roll your eyes at a short haired man, and he rolls his eyes at you, then you're both basically saying "everyone has to be like me to be a good person." If you just be who you are, then you'll always be attractive to like-minded people.
That said, I've read interviews with celebrities like Shakira and Britney Spears where they said they like long hair on men! Seriously, do you think any girl would turn down Brad Pitt if he had long hair? If it looks good on you, then it should HELP you get girls, not the other way around! Anyway, I think having confidence and saying the right things will always matter more than hair when it comes to getting chicks.
Good points have been made by all. I see that alot of people associate good looks with being stuck-up and shallow and there are more than a handful of people like that but there's also lots of women that look great and dress really nice and they also have a nice personality, you don't have to dress in rags to be a good person. And everyone should definately dress and act how they feel, I was sick of the flannel shirt & jeans look so I did something about it because I wanted to, I had no idea that all these extras like more girls and better grades would come along with it.
and cleanliness too...
I mean, if you have nice hair & clothes...
but the hair is dirty and the clothes has spots...
well, that won't be a plus no matterHOW you look at it.
Also...although clothes can make many 'statements' about you...
SELF-RESPECT and the way you carry yourself...whether you
like yourself ot not...
WILL come through to the other person...
God, it's a PACKAGE DEAL!
It sure would be different if we were born blind like cave creatures...but would it be better or just suck more?
I agree with everything you said, man. I always go for the higher maintenence girls and I see no reason why I shouldn't expect the same from me
...meant to say I see no reason why THEY shouldn't expect the same from me
What a shallow world we live in. Some people can't help the way they look (be the limitations financial or miscellaneous), and because of that, they have to put up with second class treatment. No one ever said life was fair, but if certain girls aren't about to notice me until I conform to preppy styles that Ralph Lauren dictates to the masses (along with huge surplus charges), I'd rather they NOT have anything to like about me. I'd rather be loved for who I am by those who can appreciate the real me instead of receiving admoration under false pretense. Anyone who has the nerve to discriminate against me because I don't meet their ideal standards of beauty and conformity isn't worth trying to impress. 'Tis better to be hated for what you are than loved for that which you are not.
And to the corporate world or trendy styles and conspicuous consumption: "I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees"
-The Skatenigs
Yep, you hit the nail on the head!
The stereotype longhaired male with ratty jeans and a T-shirt is something I avoid looking like like the plague. Not that I wear designer clothes, I generally wear a kilt and "Greek Taverna Shirt", a shirt modified from a J. Peterman "Otavalo Mountain Shirt", to have large, lace trimmed sleeves. Along with my long hair and beard (always, always kept neat), and my earrings, I definately look different.
I dress this way for myself. As I'm married, there are times when I need to beat the women off me with a stick (it *does* get tiresome).
The key here is *neat* and *clean*. Clean and maintain your nails, take a bath daily, keep your hair, beard, etc in good trim and clean. Wear clothes in good repair - jeans are OK (if frightfully uncomfortable) in many situations, but make sure they're new enough not to look ratty. Etc.
-Zorba
i don't exactly dress up myself. Faded or acid washed jeans and a plain t-shirt with the arms cut off are more my style then anything fancy, first i'm dirt poor lol and what money i do make i am NOT using it to be a walkling advertisement
for some big buisness cloths line, infact i refuse to wear anything that has those types of logos on it for that very reason
personaly i don't believe in the "cloths make the man" idea or the "dress for success" idea eiter, but rather it's what's INSIDE that makes a person who they are and if someone wouldent like me because of how i look then i wouldent want anything to do with them to begin with
If a guy likes his hair long, he would be advised to hook up with
one that also likes it long. Else you never hear the end of the
get a haircut comments. If ones that say they like it sometimes
get to a point in life where they end up not wanting it on their
husbands any more.
There is truth in that statement.
my adding a response? As a female with long hair, I enjoy seeing long hair on anyone, male or female, no matter their age, as long as they take care of it. Simply keeping it clean and brushed/combed, is all that really matters. And regarding clothing while at times influencial (not touching right/wrong debate), to me, does not make the person. What matters is one's character, demeanor. If you act like a jackass, you'll get treated like one :)
Tahki