new thread
Hi all. I've been visiting this site for some time, but this is my first post. I admire all you guys that have long hair. It takes a lot of guts to have long hair in today's society. I've had a desire to have long hair since I was a kid. I was brought up in a very conservative home, and have a very conservative group of friends. I have let my hair grow out three different times. Each time I bowed to pressure from family and friends and cut it. I just felt out of place with my family and friends, none of whom have long hair. It had gotten long enough to tie it back in a short pony tail. I had my wife french braid it also. That is the most appealing thing about long hair to me, doing different things with it. I think if I had the guts to grow it out, I would get crazy with different styles. It would be so much fun. Please don't try and talk me into growing it out again. I don't think I'll try it again. I would just get it going, then probably cut it. Sorry, I just don't think I want to go through the excitement and letdown again. Anyway, this site is great, you guys are my heroes, and I'll keep coming here to read and view the pics. I love to see pics of "feminine" styles on men (no, I'm not gay or bi, very straight.) Keep up the good work, men. Others are watching with interest.
my apologies, tom... but i felt compelled to respond as follows:
it sounds to me like part of your identity is being a longhair. if so, then grow it out. withstanding pressure to cut will test & may ultimately strengthen your character. your family may be a little tough to deal with, but if they love you, they will support. if your friends turn their backs on you because of hair length, they really aren't your friends. get new ones. don't compromise your identity because others want to tell you how to look & dress... be yourself.
i certainly have found out who my friends really are as i have grown my hair. i've also found that you can't be too thin-skinned about people's comments & attitudes. the key is to be yourself... wear the hair with dignity & style; demonstrate through your actions that a longhair isn't necessarily a punk, burned-out druggie, or head case. if a stranger comments negatively, he or she is showing his or her lack of character.
having already relented a couple of times, you may have to deal with a little extra pressure my friend. stand your ground, but don't let yourself to be drawn into an argument. don't allow people to make you feel out of place. it sounds like your wife will support you. talk it over with her. she may be able to help you find the strength to be yourself. stop letting others tell you how to look.
people are always going to have opinions about long hair on men. allowing yourself to be swayed by negativity is a choice you make. choosing to cut your hair because of what people think is compromising your identity to please others. that's just not being yourself.
(stepping down from my soapbox)
j
How sad. . .I can certainly relate to you. My family has always given me a phenominally difficult time about my hair (and I'm 31 years old!!!!) You asked us not to try to get you to grow your hair out, so I won't. But ( and here's my soapbox) you're giving other people entirely TOO MUCH SPACE in your head! I too struggle with what others think, not just about hair, but in general, and am learning to not do that . . .but it sure is a S L O W process. Do you think these other people you are concerned about honestly spend a great deal of time worryng about what YOU think? I doubt it.
If you like long hair on yourself, and it sounds like you do, then be yourself, NOT some pre-conceived idea of what others THINK you should be. . .that sure gives other people an awful lot of power in your life.
Mark 8-)
Hi all.....Im 30...and have had long hair since I started work at a record company aged 16.One of the reps was into metal,and had long hair.I was hooked.I personally haven't had to many hassles because of my long hair.I f you come across friendly and cheerful...helps if you are of course!!
most people look past ya hair.Old school employers can be a pain...but if you tie it back,at least for the interview,its normally not a prob....and anyway....if anyone ever says to me ...why the long hair.....just say why not????A women is accepted with long /short hair.....and so should a man.
Personally Tom...I think you should go for it.....while you still have hair :-) live for yourself...I am the only long hair in my family,always have been,and luckily they accept thats me......and thats what I want.....You seem to have such passion for long hair.......re you calling long haired guys your heros.......shame to not go with the flow,and just do it...DARE YA!!! hahahahaha..........when you find your passion.......do it.....doesnt matter what it is....and dont look back....live life with no regrets...
and I'm hopping off my soapbox as well...hehehehe
A couple things I've noticed that may help you.
People will give you all kinds of crap when you first start to grow your hair out. If you can weather through their mindless drivel, you will get to a point where the length of your hair (and the healthy condition I assume you'll keep it in) will convince others that you are serious about having well-groomed long hair. The guffaws and criticisms will eventually disappear. And remember: people ridicule what they don't understand. Take a little private pride knowing that you're a mystery to them.
I've noticed lately that there are many more men with long hair than there were a few years ago. It might be that I'm more aware of long hair on men since I've let mine grow out (now 4" below my shoulders), but I don't think so: my wife and my parents, who were initially opposed to my long hair, have made the same observation.
I hope these comments help. Let me finish just by saying that I agree with Mark. Try to get others out of your mind and make room for yourself. And as you let your hair grow, enjoy observing the changes you'll go through. The rewards are definitely worth it.
Steve
Hi Tom
Your story sounds like mine.
I have let my hair grow out many times and cut it if a few of my
conservative friends came to tell me that this style doesn't fits to me. Since I was 14 I tried to get long hair and I tried it every few years. It never covers my ears realy. I wasn't firm enough.
And today? I am 34 years old, for 2 years now my hair is between shoulder and chin length - a real long bob style, smooth brown hair with extreme long bangs falling into my face - a very feminine style.
What's going on? My new girl friend loves bob styles on guys also.
So I was glad to hear this.
If you realy wants to have long hair you only need support by your wife to get over this hard hours with your conservative "friends".
To get some things you realy wants to have,
you have to try several times and one day it will happen.
Perhaps you have to try it once again with a little support to succeed in having lovely long hair.
Hope to have soon another man with a feminine long hair style!
How long is your hair right now?
best wishes
Michael
Hello:
My hair is down to the middle of my back all one length. I have let it grow for five years with maintance cuts. Most of my life I wanted to have it long but for some reason of orther I had to get it cut i.e. job old girlfriend didn't like it etc. Today its 30 inches long cut straight across my back and I absolutely love it. This web page is very encouraging. I am the only professional male at work with long hair. My goal is to be able to sit on it. I am going to stop maintance cuts. It seems to stop growing. Its in very good condition. Anyway its nice to read stories about men who want and wear long hair.
Thanks
Joseph
I've only recently found this board, but I have to ask, Tom, if you're sure you're not me going by a different name?! I've grown my hair to well past my shoulders several times, only to end up getting tired of the crap and cutting it short again. As I get older (38 now) I'm less inclined to grow it out again, but I too find myself living vicariously through the messages posted here. I admire all you guys with well-maintained long hair and the nerve to keep it.