new thread
Hello, my name is David, I ran into this site by accident and started reading the posts and have become quite intrigued by it (I'm studying psychology so I'm easily intrigued by many things these days) First off I must say this post is in no way a flame or insult to anyone, I simply wish to learn more about this interest and apply what I have learned so far in psychology. So my question, why do you like hair so much? From what I have read it seems that some people hear have somewhat of an obsession with hair, it is not really an unhealthy obsession as I can't see anything really dangerous or negative resulting from it but no obsession is really good either. It seems as if many of you regard hair as one of the most important things in your life... but why? I myself had long hair (as did my friends) when I was younger, it was between mid-back and waist. I liked my hair, I loved listening to rock music and it fit my teenage image very well. One day I finally decided to cut it, i did feel awkward for a few days but it was no big deal. My friends all ended up cutting their hair at one time or another too and none of them saw it as a big deal either. But from what I read most of you see it as the end of the world if you cut your hair, which is most definately an obsession. Many say long hair is like any other part of the body and it should not be cut, that isn't a very good argument. If this is so why do you trim your nails? Long nails would be a pain to have but it's natural so why not? Now I am not saying I prefer short hair (or long) I strongly believe everyone should get a hairstyle that suits their hair type AND their facial features, which will make the person look his or her best. For some this may be long hair, but for others it may be short. But there are some people on this board who would look so much better with short hair (no offense if you had bad hair, mine wasn't so great looking either) By the pictures I have seen, more than half of the people on this board would look MUCH better with short hair, the rest look GREAT with long hair. For those who look bad, why would you not want to look your best? Well that's going back to the obsession, apparantly your hair has become more important than presenting the best image you can. The trend right now is short hair for men, I don't really like that, as I mentioned I believe everyone should have a hairstyle that looks best on them, short or long. But why have long hair if you are one of the people that doesn't look good with it? (This may be because your hair is very frizzy, or maybe your facial features just make you look better with short hair) What do you get out of it? It is just hair, you will not be any less of a person if you cut it, you will still have everything that really matters in life. If you feel depression from cutting your hair there is something wrong, this is not in any way an insult, it is a fact. I know it will probably be very hard for most of you to realize that you have an obsession (and there's nothing wrong with that, we are not perfect and this happens to so many people with different things) and that when you really think about it... hair is really nothing. I would love to hear your replies as I am very interested in learning more about you guys and why you love hair so much.
- David
Well i don't know about everyone else but I know i'm not obsessed. I realize it's just a hairstyle, there are tons of things more important to me than my hair and I would cut it for the right reasons. I really have no reason to cut it at this point though and I like it so for now it stays. Why do I like it? I don't know I just do. I admit I do look a bit better with short hair but it's not like I go from hideously ugly to supermodel hot by going from long to short so it's not that big of a deal. Also, this is a longhair board so obviously everyone is going to be talking about hair, i don't know about the others here but I never talk about hair outside of this board.
well first of all, it is a LONG HAIR board...so there obviously will be some sort of "hair-fetish." I just LOVE the way it feels, its a great feeling to know that my hair makes people cringe with envy. It also causes alot of "bickering about" from people who do not approve. It is somewhat rebelious in certain aspects. I speak from a teenager in highschool's point-of view. And from this POV, I can say that teachers (and other people in "high-positions") look at you with a premonition that you are "bad." This may seem to contradict what it stands for, but you can look at it this way: You get ATTENTION, that otherwise might not be had. Maybe it's just because I'm a rebel?(not kkk-wise!)
Honestly, bottom line is: It makes me feel better about myself and makes me happy. Isn't that what it should be about in the first place?
Justin B.
if i said i wasn't obsesssed with my hair i'd be lying, but I can't agree with everything you say. Hair isn't the most important thing in my life, and I hope its not the most important thing in anyones life, but I do like my hair and how it is. I wanted my hair long as long back as i could remember, just because i like being able to do something with it, and how it looks and feels i guess. Why do i trim my nails? though my nails are longer than most males (most of mine go slightly past the finger), unlike my hair, i dont want them long.. Anyways your hair should be how you want it to be. As long as you take very good care of it and keep it managed there should be no question about a 'cut'. I've only been growing mine long for almost 2 years, but people never say anything bad about it ever, in fact all I get is good comments about it daily. but, if you get bad comments about it then maybe it just needs better care or a different style. Just because someone doesn't like how you look is no reason to change how you think about it. however, if it does immediately interfere with your job, or something like that, I wouldn't count on it being accepted. my story, I used to work at this fancy restaurant for about a year (hey im only 17 =)), but i knew they had a policy about males hair that I clearly saw when I got the job, plus I had just started growing mine longer. i knew when it got too long I would have to quit or cut it, and i was not going to cut it because i've already waited too long. plus I had enough money for what i needed, and i needed more time to focus back on school. anyways my plan for a career is programming, where I can most likely find a job very easily without question about the length of my hair. I realize i have an obsession, but i don't want it to stop, and i will continue to grow mine until it needs maintenance trims or I want to cut it(which most likely wont be a while =))
Unfortunately enough, alot of society is based on looks, but most people who judge you on looks aren't worth getting to know anyways. Peronsonally I like people who are intelligent, have a sense or humor, and a good personality. If they are clean that's good enough for me.
In the future, would you please divide your post into paragraphs? Your post is hard to read as a single large block.
I get people who tell me that I'd look better with short hair but I don't care. I'm most comfortable and happiest with long hair and I don't think I look bad so that's all that matters to me.
People should just mind their own business and not worry about others.
You raise some interesting points. Let me say, first, that I think you rightly observe that some of the discussions on this list are "obsessive". Hair can come to symbolize deeper and more complex issues just like anything else. When anything becomes obsessive (politics, religion, certain objects or things one owns) very likely some powerful childhood and family issues as yet unresolved are poking their heads up for attention.
On the other hand, you blunderously make a judgment without the least bit of qualitification. You affirm that men should wear the hairstyle that "looks best" on them. You say this several times--no explanation.
Who defines what looks best? What looks best is very much a sociological issue that all psychological issues feed into. The the essay at this site: http://www.choisser.com/longhair/rajsingh.html.
It will give you as much of the socio-psychology as you might want to look into.
For me, the value of this board is that it affirms a man's freedom to choose what looks best on him based on his own choice.
Lastly, I have often observed here, from my own experience, that for a man these days in the US to grow his hair out, the reactions and the experiences he has become nothing less than a journey of self-integration--if he wants that. If he does not want that, then growing his hair out might not be a good thing. To grow your hair out in this culture right now is to make a choice to take on your own life for your self. Those not ready for that should wear a hair style that everyone esle around them says "looks best". Get it?
Robert
Being a Longhair is who I am...
It is not just a part of my personality...it is ALL of me.
Growing my hair out was a journey (a never-ending one) of self-discovery...
a journey that has made me stronger because it all happened
'in the faces' of those around me.
Maybe some of us were actually BORN longhairs, but just never new it
until now?!
And while I wouldn't say that I am 'obsessed' with long hair...
still--as with my little finger-- I wouldn't even think of chopping it off.
Lastly (for now) there are SPIRITUAL aspects to having longer hair...
but I'm just beginning to understand that part of it.
Amen
Well I see what you mean but what you said about being BORN a longhair, there is really no logic in that, it is really all in your head. People can be born with problems/complications but you will never hear a doctor say that someone was "born a longhair". Now obviously you didn't mean it like that but I am just trying to show you how awkward that statement is. Can you imagine someone with.. oh say a crewcut saying "I was born a crewcut"... it really doesn't sound right does it? when you put so much of yourself into something as insignificant as hair it is an obsession. Same thing for hair being spiritual, but I can't really argue with that since many people find various things spiritual.
Hi David, thanks for posting such a bold message as I for one like to read things that make me question myself... as if I don't have to do that on a daily basis!
Robert has already raised the link to Bill Choisser's excellent resource on the subject and it's hard to add anything to it. However, I'd just like to emphasise the point about long hair being a very human feature, which people should feel free to celebrate.
As for being obsessive, I'd like to suggest that many of us are just passionate about our locks. Certainly, there'd be a period of shock and annoyance if someone were to, say, forcefully shave my head - but it wouldn't be suicide material!
I like people who are passionate about things - the careful and mediocre way of life that so many people seem to have adopted nowadays is quite depressing. There is also, as Luckskind has mentioned, a strong spiritual link with growing hair. That's something you just do or don't 'get'.
"But why have long hair if you are one of the people that doesn't look good with it? (This may be because your hair is very frizzy, or maybe your facial features just make you look better with short hair) What do you get out of it? It is just hair, you will not be any less of a person if you cut it, you will still have everything that really matters in life. "
Sounds to me you have an bosession with looking good, but i can't see a problem with that either.. Not like looks matter right?
To answer your qesution: I startd growing out my hair at a time in my life where i felt i want long hair and it was now time. There were several changs happening in my personal life.
Having always wanted long hair and changing my attitudes towards several subjects i thought i'd let it grow. The experience as a whole has been great and i constantly think of another poster who had said "enjoy your bad hair phase, enjoy it when it looks funny,enjoy it when it first touches your eyes, ears, nose, etc".
I would not classify myself as a long haired man yet but it is now completly obvious to anyone who takes the time to look that my hair is now rather long.
Why did i do it/love it? I've always wanted long hair, i think it's a statement for the indivudual. I think it'll look good on me once it's real long and it'll look DIFFERENT. I worked in a corporate env. for many years seem like most men have short buzzed cut hair.. why?
1)>this post is in no way a flame or insult to anyone
I wasn't offended by #4,5 and 6... unless I'm in the wrong half.
2)>why do you like hair so much?
On a "men's long hair hyperboard"? See below.
3)>no obsession is really good either
Gutenberg. Tyndale. Wright Brothers. Goddard. Newton. Bool. Moore. Take a few history classes.
4)>But there are some people on this board who would look so much better with short hair
See below.
5)>By the pictures I have seen, more than half of the people on this board would look MUCH better with short hair, the rest look GREAT with long hair.
See below.
6)>For those who look bad, why would you not want to look your best?
See below.
7)>I am very interested in learning more about you guys and why you love hair so much.
If you wanted to learn about lions you would poke them with a sharp stick?
David, have you ever turned over a rock? Did you find bugs? Were you surprised? This is a "men's long hair hyperboard". People who are interested in "men's long hair" hang around here and discuss hair. THIS IS NOT A SIGN OF OBSESSION. It is entirely appropriate to discuss hair on a hair-related forum. If you go to a Ford Mustang hyperboard you will probably find people discussing Ford Mustangs in excruciating detail and that would also be appropriate. If someone were to talk about men's long hair with the toll booth attendant, use it as a term paper topic for psychology class, bring it up while spotting a bald headed weight-lifter at the gym during his bench press, mention it to their doctor during an a physical, or seek advice about hair from a Rabbi/Priest/Minister then THAT PERSON WOULD BE OBSESSED about hair.
A good rule of thumb in joining a new forum is to watch for awhile before you jump in. Your comments about half the people looking better with short hair indicate that you haven't been doing much reading. (1) Many of us are IN THE PROCESS. We post progress pictures to get feedback and to encourage others. (2) There is an awkward stage that almost everyone experiences where the hair looks bad. Would you go to a body-building discussion board and tell the members that their progress pictures make them look underdeveloped? Sheesh!
BTW, are you obsessed with hair?
he..he...
You say these people would look better with short hair. In whose
opinion? Yours? Somebody else's? Or theirs? I think I look good
with long hair. Others don't. My opinion is the only one that counts
with me. That's the way it should be with the others. If they like
their looks with long hair then other peoples opinions are meaningless.
Its that simple. And whats in style? to me style is just a faceless
dictator. Some of us (me included) do not like to be dictated to.
So, so much for having to be in style.
Liking the length of your hair a certain way does not make you an obessed moron. What a dreadful comparision you made with fingernails. Fingernails are not in style nor can you style them. You simply cut them. Your speculation on 50% (what a great percentage) of us longhairs looking like crap shows how ignorant you are to the awkward stage. Perhaps you should break away from the mold yourself and enjoy the joys of having longhair before you pass your conformist-society judgment on us. Than maybe someone would take you seriously.
- Brice
It's not that we like hair so much, hair likes us.
As as an attachment of our bodies hair is always with us. If this is an obsession then eating/talking about food everyday is an obsession, driving to work everyday is an obsession, going to school everyday is an obsession, talking to people everyday is an obsession, brushing your teeth everyday is an obsession, bathing is an obsession, etc., etc. Almost everyone in the world has to deal with hair at whatever length. Not many here would say that BECAUSE it's part of your body you shouldn't cut it. My hair is VERY long but I advocate trims as part of keeping up the health and appearance of one's hair (as do most others here).
Not sure where you saw that it was the end of the world if people cut their hair, people come here for a reason and we tend to tell them that if they came here for hair advice then we will help the best we can but if they decide (for themselves) to cut because it will make them happier to have short hair then by all means go for it...we'll keep ours long because we have already decided that we prefer it longer. There are a number of guys here who are trying to grow out their hair from shorter styles and cutting at early stages does not further this goal so they will often encourage other beginners to refrain from the learned social tendency to keep cutting it (being male an all).
If you are really studying psychology then I am sure that you are aware that people's perception of what is attractive, what the standards of attractiveness are and what people should do to be attractive and why they should feel the need to do such things vary not only from person to person but from society to society and age to age. Given all these factors, your opinion means squat...but thanks for sharing anyway as it gives us a bit of insight to your psychological make up.
Have you considered that many of the people who you do not consider to be attractive with "long" hair actually have not grown it long enough yet for you to be able to determine whether or not they are attractive?
I view it differently than you. I see women with long hair who look great but if they were to cut it would probably look better with a bag over their head. How about Howard Stern? He is really gumpy looking with short hair but the long hair compliments his long face and larger nose.
Now go back and examine the psychological factors behind the reasons why you as well as all your friends ended up cutting your hair (apparently at one time you liked and even preferred it). Was there social/peer pressure? Was it time to "grow up"? Did it please your family? Was the trendy style changing toward short hair? Did your love intrest prefer short hair on you? Was it too hard to take care of? Psychology would say that there is no way that you could have just gotten out of bed one morning and decided to cut it without any other reasons behind it. There is a process that leads to decisions.
Some might think that many people are obsessed with keeping hair short. Even using psychological and social pressures to get others to do the same. Cutting is a deliberate action, growing is a natural function. An obsession would require an action would it not?
Well said...
I'm one of those people that looks better with long hair.
I also can't headbang without it. I simpy cannot listen to metal without headbanging.
I'm not really obsessed either, it's important to me, and I prefer it that way, but I don't lose sleep over it.
When it takes you YEARS to grow your hair, you could say you kind of get attached to it. (hehe!)
When I first decided to start growing my hair out, it was just because I liked the style and thought it would look good and had no sort of obsession whatsoever.
But it takes a VERY LONG TIME to grow it out. I wasn't really expecting it take as long as it did. Literally years. Anyway I think that's the main reason people become obsessed with it.
Also, I am not meaning to insult people and I myself have long hair (I'm not saying this is true) but I've also read before that long hair on men is sometimes associated with narcissism. In SOME cases I do think this is true as well.
But then, what's wrong with a little narcissism!
Nothing I can think of!
in the sense that short-haired people can be narcissistic too. In other words, hair doesn't cause it.
So muscle-bound buzzcutters aren't narcississistic (Funny looking word but I think it's spelt right!)?????
Barry
I am not obsessed, but hair is a big part of my life now. Its something I can like about how I look, with short hair I cant like anything!
I was brought up in an American Indian culture and long hair was a small but very prevelant part of that culture. The basic belief is that everything the Creator gave the Indian remains sacred. For example, the body, along with nature and the earth, denotes spirituality. Hair is considered a gift from the Creator, it embodies the strength needed to endure difficult times. If an Indian's hair is removed, his life is drained of all energy.
Additionally, I was VERY close to my best friend, also an Indian, through our childhood and teenage years. We both had long hair as it was a part of what we were involved in. He died in a very violent accident just before his 18th birthday and I never got to see him again or even say good-bye to him. So in addition to my Indian Beliefs, I keep my hair long in memory of him.
Finally, I just like the way it looks and feels. It may not look good to other people, but it looks good to ME, and I'm the one that has to try and be happy in this life. I don't obsess with it... I don't even style or gel it. I wash it, comb it and whatever else happenes to it during the course of my day, is the way it ends up for that day.
I don't think most people obsess about their hair, although it may seem like it when you read this board. But it IS a long hair board and that's what the majority of conversations are about. I belong to a welding discussion board, and if you read that one, I'm sure it would seem like we're all obsessed with welding! I think it's all relative to the particular board.
Good luck with your studies. Why don't you grow your hair long again and use the comments people will bombard you with as a basis for your inevitable thesis?
I was brought up in an American Indian culture and long hair was a small but very prevelant part of that culture. The basic belief is that everything the Creator gave the Indian remains sacred. For example, the body, along with nature and the earth, denotes spirituality. Hair is considered a gift from the Creator, it embodies the strength needed to endure difficult times. If an Indian's hair is removed, his life is drained of all energy.
Additionally, I was VERY close to my best friend, also an Indian, through our childhood and teenage years. We both had long hair as it was a part of what we were involved in. He died in a very violent accident just before his 18th birthday and I never got to see him again or even say good-bye to him. So in addition to my Indian Beliefs, I keep my hair long in memory of him.
Finally, I just like the way it looks and feels. It may not look good to other people, but it looks good to ME, and I'm the one that has to try and be happy in this life. I don't obsess with it... I don't even style or gel it. I wash it, comb it and whatever else happenes to it during the course of my day, is the way it ends up for that day.
I don't think most people obsess about their hair, although it may seem like it when you read this board. But it IS a long hair board and that's what the majority of conversations are about. I belong to a welding discussion board, and if you read that one, I'm sure it would seem like we're all obsessed with welding! I think it's all relative to the particular board.
Good luck with your studies. Why don't you grow your hair long again and use the comments people will bombard you with as a basis for your inevitable thesis?
I have always wanted long hair, ever since I was a child and had to sit in the barber's chair. I never liked that experience. Short hair didn't feel right to me. Am I obsessed? NO!
It takes years to grow your hair long. Most of us have to deal with family members (and society) when we make the decision to grow our hair. We also have to deal with the stereotype name-calling (i.e. hippy, druggy, hair rebel, etc.). It's not as easy to grow your hair as the uninformed might think (you, BTW).
Our decision to grow our hair long is something that still isn't widely accepted. It's a double-standard. Women can grow (or cut) their hair and no one cares. That simply isn't true for men. We are expected to blindly conform to some bogus "haircut rules" for men.
Look around. Take a look at some TV shows. How many men have long hair? I was watching some hot-rod show the other day. One of the guys was bugging the other to get a haircut (it was just barely covering his ears). Some people evidently feel that they have a right to impose their (blind) will on others. I find this to be unacceptable. Why does this guy have a problem with the other guys hair? It's none of his business.
Here's another one: "You need a haircut!" Says who? What business of yours is it to dictate another person's hairstyle? What gives you the right to tell ME what to do?
Those are just example's of some of the backwards thinking that still exists today. The purpose of this board is to give encouragement (SP?) and advice to those men that want to grow their hair long. Until you try it, you won't have any idea what it's really like.
If you want to know what real obsession is, check out the "Buzzboard". Just paste this link into your browser:
http://www.dexglobal.com/thcs/buzzboard/index.html
Good day.
Why do I like long hair? For the same reason I climb
mountains. It is there.
I started growing my hair long in the 60s.
Got thrown out of school, got lots of complaints,
etc. The whole 9 yards.
Now it is 2003 and my hair is still long. (Waist length).
I've gone through many hair styles from mullets to
various lengths. Keep returning to good old waist length.
The psychologist Carl Jung said that at times in our lives we are "haunted by the voices of our ancestors." I believe that, and I believe that's why some men feel compelled to wear their hair long, and put up with everything that goes along with that, even when they can't fully explain why.
Many people, male or female, are concerned about their appearance. It's not just longhaired guys! What about the immaculately turned out businessman who gets weekly attention to his precision-styled short-back-and-sides? What about the tattoed buzzcut type, with body piercing and chunky steel 'jewellery'.
Cheers, Barry
Pretty much like all the other replies I have read here, I wanted to grow my hair long ever since I was about five years old. I had to wait until I was 20 before I started growing it. For some reason that I can't explain it just makes me feel more confident and raises my self-esteem.