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I have a low tolerance for ignorance, stupidity, discrimination, etc. Sometimes I explode with anger and get into verbal fights with people I don't even know because I'm just so tired of all the crap I have to put up with. Being a long hair is tougher than being a short hair because its not the "normal" thing to do. So I'm seeking your advice on how to handle situations with individuals with different views.
Long hair haters - Once a person makes a comment and then taunts you repeatedly, what should you do if you can't walk away? i.e. work
I handled the taunting for about 2 weeks then I went to the individual during work hours because he's just an immature person. I went up to him and said the following in a mean voice: Why don't you just grow up and be mature? You don't like my hair then fine but don't f*ing give me $h*t about it. Why don't you comb your hair sometimes because you look like a mess. If you comment about me or my hair again I will kick you f*n a$$.
Mistaken gender - I was in Vegas and I had a no brand t-shirt on. I did not tie my hair, I put it behind my ears. The dealer asked a lady to check my age, the lady checked my i.d. then he asked if the girl was 21. I said "I'm a guy". Then he looked real stupid. But the all the embarrassment was on me. I wanted to give him crap about that and say that he's gay because he couldn't tell if I was a girl or not. (I'm not against gay/homosexual people by the way.) I just took it all in but I also wanted to argue with everyone and defend myself.
Like you, I have a low tolerance of intolerance - which doesn't make much sense expressed that way, but it is logical.
There's a lot of ignorant idiots about.
Some of them think they can have an influence on people who don't fit their idea of what a 'respectable' person should be like. The person who keeps on talking about your hair is just such a person. Quite possibly the person who mistook you for a girl is, too.
It's difficult not to react to people of this kind, but if you do, in a way they win. They have the reaction they wanted.
If you can, it is much more effective to match your attacker's intolerance and stupidity with consideration and tolerance.
So, tell the person who keeps on about your hair in a friendly way that although you don't like his style (or in his case, lack of it), and he doesn't like yours, the difference between you is that you are tolerant.
Now, the gender mistake. This is something that most longhairs experience at some time, as do short haired women. Even longhaired men with beards and those who are like me bald on top, neither of which anybody would view as a feminine gender indicator are sometimes mistaken for women by people with defective mental vision or who are setting out to be offensive. It does make you stop in your tracks for a moment to see that people are making assumptions about you, and that, rather than the mistake, is what is embarrassing.
It's hard, but if you possibly can, try to make a joke of it - this person was obviously working in security, so just point out that he won't be much help in providing descriptions of suspects if he is so unobservant.
Kick the wheel of your automobile later on if you have to, but not hard enough to break your toe.
Hope that has helped.
I've been there, too!
1- Tell the long hair hater(s): “The length of my hair is no one’s business but my own. This is the last time I ever “wanna” hear about this. Is that clear? If he’s mature (enough), he’ll knock off. If not, he’ll continue to taunt which would escalate the tension. At this point anything could happen, including a fight (I don’t know how strong you are). If you’re a big guy, you’ll probably get more respect.
2- Being mistaken for a woman: Happened to me 4 times since November. I’m not offended at all as it’s never intentional. They apologize and you can tell they feel bad. It’s their problem. Actually I find it quite amusing as I expect this to happen from time to time.
you shouldn't get angry at this stuff. there's all sorts of reasons to be angry about anything or everything, you can either deal with it or be upset your whole life. it's better just to be the person you want to be, live the life that makes you happy, and if you do that whatever else happens won't matter to you!
I wouldn't really get mad at people for mistaking you for a woman, most of the time it's not on purpose (you can tell when it is) I've done it to others too (on accident). For example there is this girl at my school who dresses in t-shirts and jeans all the time and has long hair, well it's hard to see her figure and most women don't dress that way so I figured it was a longhaired guy and well you get the point.
I like it when people mistake me for a woman. It just means that my hair looks the way I want it too. I go easy on them and we usually end up just laughing about it.
Don't bite. It's the reaction that keeps the taunts going. If you ignore it, he will eventually tire as he doesn't get the reaction he is looking for. I've been there, it works.
Been there too. Not a problem - the person concerned was embarrassed, not me.
So far, I've had no reaction to my hair growing, although it's shoulder length now. I get a sort of perceptual paranoia about it sometimes, as though I think people disapprove of it or think I'm going a bit mad, but it's like a scar or missing finger - people don't talk about it!
As for long hair being effeminate, I can dispose of that one easily: the same could be said of any man doesn't sport a full beard, or any man who wears an ear ring!!!
Cheers, Barry