new thread
Hi everyone,
Stood on my soap box today with a couple of parents. We were talking about hair on children and they expressed that they didn't like long hair on boys because people would confuse them with girls. I told them that I'm not cutting my little boy's hair because people should start paying more attention. They replied that they felt sorry for them because they would get teased. I told them they were going to get teased anyway for something or other. That's why as parents its up to us to enlighten them so they handle themselves against people's ignorance.
Its a shame that we've had nothing but all these posts about hair discrimination lately. I've really become a hair advocate lately, especially for men. I don't find it a frivolous issue though for I feel it's connected to an even greater issue which is we need to stop judging people by the way they look. I have to admit that sad to say I've been guilty of this and a couple of weeks ago had a "come uppance" experience. I was at the gym and there was guy with a shaved head and goatee wearing the real baggy pants with his boxers showing. When I saw him, I immediately thought he was a gang banger or may be a "skinhead". As if hearing my thoughts, he turned to me and smiled really pleasant and said "hi, how are you today?" He had nice eyes. DOH! I think it was God putting me in check and it worked. I've been uttering an affirmation every time I can feel a judgment coming on.
Chaeya
congratulations, you've taken one step on your journey toward enlightenment.
HI--
Are you enlightened, or something?
Canis
No, I'm on drugs. =o) (Just kidding). I'm just doing whatever I can to better myself.
Chaeya ;o)
I find the cutting hair to prevent teasing argument as ridiculous as the I circumcised my child so he'd look like all the other boys argument. And how arrogant of those people to say that they don't like long hair on boys in general because of their own preferences! One has the right to choose for oneself, or ones children, but no right to extend that preference to others as well. Good for you Chaeya for defending the cause. I find that my boys not only do not get teased, but the other kids are quite intrigued by them and the level of self determination they're allowed in their lives. Perhaps its the way they carry themselves or their overall attitudes, but after that initial gender confusion due to peoples assumptions about hair length, it ceases to be an issue because the boys don't allow it to be. Children tease other children about things they know will make the other kid uncomfortable (oops, I guess adults do that too huh?)and when there's no rise to be gotten out of someone the game loses its appeal. That parental fear of their child being "different" really leads to ingraining judmentalism because it teaches the child that diversity is somehow bad. I say to hell with that.
Regarding grown men with long hair and the discrimination thats being discussed recently, I've found that there are lots of areas where ponytails are not an issue either, construction work, the arts, sciences, technology etc. It relates to the brilliant treatise posted about a while back and also some of Camille Paglias writings that there are certain groups, "classes" if you will where the emasculation of the male is a primary concern. There are many areas of life where that isn't a problem though and where men whose "manliness" is right there for the world to see are quite well accepted and even respected for their individuality. You just have to deal with the fact that if you want to be a "rebel" (at least as far as the already emasculated classes are concerned) you won't fit in everywhere. So what? You can't have it both ways, you have to choose what matters to you. I find for both the husband and the kids a person's reaction to their hair is an excellent way of gauging what matters to them as well. If they're immediately aggressive about the issue I know there's not a lot of room for an engaging discourse on any subject. You're a better person than I, Chaeya, I usually don't even take the time to try and convert someone!
Best wishes to everyone!
Dawn
--What's interesting about the "emasculation" issue today is that just some 300 years ago men wore their hair very long and no one said "hey, they look like women" they were considered "great men" (i.e., Sir Isaac Newton, Descartes, the founders of this country), but if a man wears the same hairstyle today his masculinity is questioned. I am writing a period novel in the late 1600s. In researching hairstyles, in the court of Louis XIV men wore their real hair long. Louis took great pride in his thick curls and when he grew older, he wore the same in a wig. Men could either wear their hair long or cut it short or shave his head and wear a wig. This was discussed at length some time ago on this board, I believe. For the history buffs check out www.odinscastle.org where you can research any period of history, including hairstyles.
-- I'm not interested in trying to convert anyone, but if they make a statement and the situation calls for it, I will say what I feel.
Blessings!
Chaeya
A man with long hair has made a statement that he will not allow himself to be dominated by others. According to Raj's research, this is the message that long hair has carried through the centuries. No wonder we are so frightening to business types who want kowtowing employees and a submissive wifey at home. ((grin))
As for the wife, Raj goes on to say that women have traditionally not been hassled about their hair length because they are taken as weak and thus not perceived as a threat. ;-)
What's so wonderful about Raj's research is, of course, that it exposes the coverup lie that long hair on men is effeminate. Those who would dominate us have been throwing out that line for decades in the same breath while advocating the removal of our beards, which makes the whole line really silly when you think about it. Raj's discoveries at last provide the first explanation of these matters that really makes sense. When the public and courts begin to realize these requests are in reality ploys to make us look prepubescent or like the other sex, we should hopefully see a bit more support.
my theory is that those who dismiss long hair as 'feminine' actually feel inadequate & are unwilling to confront their own shortcomings.. by insulting someone who is merely different, they attempt to draw attention away from themselves.
if a person is comfortable with who he or she is longhaired or not, he (or she) will accept others for who they are without using his or her authority to force conformity. boycott lackluster -er- blockbuster video.
I love longhaired men, I see nothing wrong with dating or marrying a lonhaired man. I love combing through a man's longhair. I think long hair makes a man sexy! I'd love to meet a longhaired man who wears tight leather pants, with boots, and a leather jacket, bascially like a rock star of the 80's! I say the longer the hair the better for me! If any longhaired men out there are single, E-mail me!