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More than a few posts on your board deal with the issue of long hair as a feminine trait. I certainly applaud those on this board for your gallant efforts against conformity and for freedom of expression. Unfortunately few people in 1998 really care if Erik the Red wore pigtails tied with ribbons and carried a big nasty ax to go with it, or how bad-assed Louis the XIVth looked with ringlets down to his waist. Unless you’re a Hell’s Angel, Willie Nelson or an American Indian, those hairstyles will get you plenty of strange looks. In contemporary America long hair is pretty much girl’s territory and that’s that. I’m not trying to be cold-hearted or smug, I’m just stating fact. Personally, I believe this problem is due in large to the contemporary trend in women and girls fashion.
Historically, clothes not hair length was the great sex identifier. Buffalo Bill and Sir Isaac Newton never had a problem with wearing their hair long. Today however, long hair remains the last major holdout towards dressing as a female, except for perhaps underwear. Otherwise American women generally dress exactly men about 90% of the time: big baggy jeans, a baggy sweatshirt or flannel and big ugly tennis shoes. This boring uniform covers up all the attributes that set the girls apart from guys, so if you see a couple walking from behind you would most likely assume the one with the long hair is the girl. A longhaired man causes confusion, if you are a guy with long hair, than by today’s standards you DO look like a big girl, at least from the back anyway so get used to it. Who knows why women feel the need to dress like men but I think it's a shame. I would guess a lot of them are just uncomfortable with their bodies and covering everything up frees them from having to worry so much about it. What ever the reason, I respect anybody's right to dress as they please.
If you are a longhaired guy, a confident attitude makes it a lot easier. Yes, I too had hair like a girl - super thick, (almost) straight, parted a little off to the left falling in a single length (no bangs) to just above my shoulders, blunt cut ends about an inch higher in the back than the front - essentially a “swing bob.” It was great fun! I would have grown it longer but near shoulder length was the best I could do and still have it look like a Pantene commercial so that’s where it usually ended up. I wasn’t out to prove anything I just liked having long hair. Were people sometimes confused? Oh yeah and my fine Scandinavian features probably didn’t help much either. I just handled it. My hair bugged my friends when I wore it down but I didn’t care about that either. Nor did it matter that most women prefer short hair on guys. The minority of girls that liked my long hair were always more fun and less conservative anyway and all the attention I got (from girls) both good and bad made it well worth the effort.
Essentially, I never felt that my long hair was feminine, quite the opposite in fact, or was rattled by guys coming up from behind calling me “Miss.” I’m proud to be a man and am very manly in every respect. Moreover, I enhance my masculinity primarily for the benefit of women by eating right, lifting lots of weights and usually wearing clothes just tight enough to show it off. I know they appreciate it by their compliments and looks at the supermarket. Flirting gives me a reason to live. I cut my hair GQ about two years back to give it shot as a model, big mistake. I’ve HATED the way it’s looked ever since, a short, dark dirty-blond, course pile of curly crap on my head. I’m just now growing it back, finally! YAHOO! Hair like a girl definitely works for me.
Racer
Yeah, let it grow again!
I too wear a bob (chin length) I plan to grow it out over my
shoulders in the front and keep it short in the back.
I really love this feeling of long hair and much more important:
my girl loves my long hair and as longer it grows she loves it more.
My girl likes to style my hair, braid id, put in curlers, curls the ends under or up. My girl plan to cut her hair in a very long bob
if my hair reaches my shoulders. That means that we would wear the
same haircut! I really would like that - that's cool!
Right now she has brown long hair below her waist.
She is wearing those long hair since she was 12 Years old.
Now she plan to cut and turn blond these wonderful long hair.
We will see.
-Frank
h
Hair like a girl work's for me. Since 2nd grade, when I started
adoring other girls' hair, I have been wearing my hair like a girl.
By the time I was in the 3rd grade, I was wearing pony tales which was
a little taboo back then. In the fifth grade I was wearing pig tales
and barrettes. My sister would do my hair and my mother didn't mind.
By the time I was in the6th grade, I could braid my own hair pretty well and had gotten my ears pierced. I got into big silver hoop earrings, but I needed bigger hair to go with the earrings. So I got
my first of many perms. I am now 16 and have waste length curly blond
hair with bangs. Hair like a girl doesn't always get great reviews
from others but it feels good. Why stop with hair like a girl. I
wear jewlery like a girl, paint my nails, and I wear a lot of clothes
like a girl. In fact my girlfriend yelled at me for not washing the
long black skirt she let me wear to school the other day. So remember hair like a girl one day,next the rest of you. Be careful, its too much fun for a boy to have.
christasha
Hair like a girl work's for me. Since 2nd grade, when I started
adoring other girls' hair, I have been wearing my hair like a girl.
By the time I was in the 3rd grade, I was wearing pony tales which was
a little taboo back then. In the fifth grade I was wearing pig tales
and barrettes. My sister would do my hair and my mother didn't mind.
By the time I was in the6th grade, I could braid my own hair pretty well and had gotten my ears pierced. I got into big silver hoop earrings, but I needed bigger hair to go with the earrings. So I got
my first of many perms. I am now 16 and have waste length curly blond
hair with bangs. Hair like a girl doesn't always get great reviews
from others but it feels good. Why stop with hair like a girl. I
wear jewlery like a girl, paint my nails, and I wear a lot of clothes
like a girl. In fact my girlfriend yelled at me for not washing the
long black skirt she let me wear to school the other day. So remember hair like a girl one day,next the rest of you. Be careful, its too much fun for a boy to have.
christasha
Hi Racer,
First of all, I really liked your post and agree with much of it.
I guess with knowing so many long haired men and having a couple of female friends who stand over 6 feet, I have not had any problems identifying men from the back. You guys definitely have a way of moving and walking that gives you away. I will admit that I have been duped by a woman once.
I do agree that I do not like women's fashions these days and absolutely abhorr these flannels, baggy butt pants and shoes that look like they're substitutes for bricks, weapons and buckets. They may be out of style but if I'm not in a long skirt, I'm in my leggings. Being short and petite, baggy pants make me look like I'm fighting my way out of a sack (although I do admit that I wear harem pants for dancing). Most of women friends also stay more into feminine clothing. I do have to admit, however, to sometimes dressing somewhat male, but being that I collect Edwardian style jackets, I wear these over very feminine blouses (with my leggings of course) and carry a walking stick. Its not that I'm trying to be male but I see it more of an androgynous look as well as a past life thing.
When I was in Maui I made a comment that I enjoyed seeing all the men in sarongs (wrapped in the Indonesian style) and several men stood up and said they liked the feel of walking around in them. If people are misidentifying a man's sex because he has long hair, just imagine what they'd think if he was wearing a sarong too! I say if you want to confuse, go for the jugular.
I also never thought of long hair as a feminine trait only. Hair is hair regardless of the length and I believe no matter what a man has in his hair, its the energy that's picked up. Most people aren't that awake. They are so out of touch with their intuition and so engrossed in their own little world that they need little cheat sheets to life like having short hair to advertise that you're male, having long hair to advertise that you are a female and so on down the line of dumb little stereotypes. Anything to the contrary is like brain overload.
Chaeya
Does it seem that women's hairstyles are getting shorter and shorter? All my female business associates are getting their hair whacked, as too are all of my neighbors.
I've only been growing my hair out for a little over a year, but suddenly I've got the longest hair of almost every woman I know!
Just a casual observation...
This is exactly the subject we continually bring up on the women's long hair site (TLHS; I think Victor might have a link). Many of the women on that site have stories about how theyre the only women they know with substantially long hair, and how the other women are trying (whether purposefully or not) to look "more male". Raj Singh, a man who wrote a brilliant paper on the subject of male hair denegration, touched on this as well. If you scroll further down this message board, you'll see a link entitled "awesome paper". Go to it if you find it; it is indeed an awesome paper.
Racer, you made an excellent point about long hair seeming to be the main remaining fashion identifier for women in our society. This reminds me of a book by the Smithsonian, Men and Women: Dressing the Part, that suggests that women have adapted clothing styles from men as they have become more liberated. Adaptation of fashion styles between genders tends to be a one way street: Women adapt from men. Men have fewer choices. Women are perceived as more powerful and independent when they borrow styles from men. Men tend to be perceived as the opposite.
Unfortunately, this perception is unlikely to change until women really are perceived as the equals of men in out society. We’re headed in that direction, but that time is still a long way off.
Domino, you’re right about the trend toward shorter hair on women. Just look at the women on TV network news (a major influencer, I think). Think Katie Coruic, Lisa Macree, Jane Robelot—hair over the ears is getting rare on news TV. At a large company I worked at until recently, it was hard to spot a woman with hair to her shoulders. Where I work now, ponytail length hair seems more common on men than women!
Hi everybody!
I'd like to present my point to this subject also. I'm a male and one
of my female friends has always disliked long hair on me. Well,
yesterday I went to a salon to have a trim. She saw me later in the
evening and admitted that the bob style I had got actually suits to
me because it looks so neat. She did add, however, that I shouldn't
grow it any longer.
I have added a link to a picture showing the style from front and
from a side (taken this morning) also with a short style I once had
which my friend liked. The hair looks a bit flatter now than it was
yesterday right after the salon...
Jarkko
Nice photos Jarkko!
If people are confusing you for being a girl, a splash of facial hair will make all the difference.
No one can tell from your photos whether that is really a problem, because the photos do not show your body shape and mannerisms. These two items in normal-range males and females have some overlap in an androgynous range, but there are extremes in the other direction for each sex that make your membership in your sex group unmistakeable.
Some men with your facial appearance will be thought to be female a lot, and others will not hardly ever, depending on how male or androgynous these other factors are. If you really are confusing people and this bothers you, grow some facial hair!. Just a little will do the trick. :-)
I wonder if my reply was submitted after all. I'll give it another
try...
Thanks for the tip, although I don't like wearing beards or moustaches(?). Although I'm not very athletic, I guess my voice, clothes and behaviour give good enough male appearance, because I haven't encountered any confusion about my gender. My "girly" hair does not bother me too much as long as people are clear about my sex.
Jarkko
I've never had a problem with people mistaking my sex. My hair is
currently just past my shoulders. I agree that facial hair helps. I have
a handlebar mustache. I'm also a competitive bodybuilder, so from
the back, I'm really wide. I've received complements on my hair
from women and about the mustache from men.
Oh yes.. I live in the southeast where, if anywhere else, the conservative is more profound than anywhere..
I was in the hospital a couple of years ago with a severe blood infection.. I had the covers upto my chin in pain with my back to the door.. A nurse walked into the room to draw some blood and said: "uh Miss blahblah.." I wasnt offended..
On another occasion not long ago I was backing my car out of the driveway and my 11 year old daughter's friend who was standing in the yard saw me for the first time asked my daughter if I was her 'aunt'..
Long hair is primarily a feminine trait but that doesnt stop me form wearing it long..
I just want you to know that I LOVE your attitude!! Don't EVER lose your self-confidence....you've got it going on!!!
Thank you all for your input on "hair like a girl." I enjoyed reading your follow ups very much though I was a bit surprised at your general agreement with most of my points.
Tina: Thanks for the boost, REALLY nice compliment. Confidence, like long hair looks great on both men and women.....
Rasmus: I actually got a real charge out of people when they confused me for a girl. I'd turned around with "Yeah buddy?" and watch the guys go beet red, girls usually just giggled. MAN that was funny!
Jarkko: WOW! Another fine featured Scandianvian (or German I would guess..) Outstanding hair man, very very pretty (as was mine...)! I'd NEVER cut that! Wish mine was THAT blonde and naturally that straight....
Alan & Domino: You made many good points. Contemporary women are rebelling against their historical image as females which is sad. Personally, I like to celebrate the differences between the sexes, not surpress them. There is nothing more sexy than an intelligent long-haired woman secure with her femininity and showing it off, she doesn't have to look like a Victoria's Secret model.
Chaeya: I wish more girls had your attitude about dressing feminine, us guys LOVE you for it! As far as wearing sarongs (dresses) hmmm, not for me, black jeans and motorcycle boots are more my style....I let my obsessed neighbor's wife and her girlfriends put my hair up in high ponytails once. They kept on teasing me really hard and the attention was FANTASTIC but when they brought out lipstick, a skirt and a camera I drew the line.....we all have our limits.
Frank: Yep, bob-do's are great for boys too! You are a very very lucky man, rare to have a girl who can appreciate fops like us.
Well, I don't have my own website up but if you would like I could send you one as an email attachment. Just let me know what your email adress is.
RX
Ok---you're on. My e mail address is: 2pandora@netscape.net
How's that......
Dude, it's simple. You e-mail her at 2pandora@netscape.net so she knows your e-mail address. That makes it possible for her to send you the photo. Got it?
