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Hello; I was 21 in April and started growing my hair when I was 18; now it's down to my nipples. Everyone (my family, my friends, and my family's friends) says and has always said that I should cut my hair. My nine year-old sister gets teased at school because of my hair, and my peers say "You should get your hair cut and then come out with us!" (they won't associate with me unless I have short hair). I don't get interest from lasses any more either.
Should I have my hair cut? thanks
Its a hard situation. I also had friends that stopped hanging with me because of hair, not all, but I did. I just let it happen. And I got other more intelligent friends to replace the others. The most I got from TRUE friends, was the typical get a haircut during the awkward stage. If those guys did that, they're not true friends.
About your sister. Kids tease kids over anything, some get bullied, but teasing happens to everyone. Is she getting bullied, or only teased. If she is getting bullied, then consider doing something, not necessarily cutting it. Otherwise, teasing is no big deal, she would be teased about something else anyway.
Answer to yourself...
Do you like your hair? How much?
Consider efforts made, and also think about it. Is it their hair?
Where do you live? That says a lot about people's attitude. While at home I don't get any extraodinary attention... if I leave the big city to go to smaller ones, then I get more staring. Its something that always happens. You need to truly love your hair in order to bear it.
Thanks for all the useful replies. Sampson is a good model! We live in a rural area of northern England and I work on our farm. I keep my hair clean. There are about four people my age in our village, four in the next, and so on, so there aren't really any other people (male or female) outside the group for me to hang around with. They aren't particularly intelligent or strong-minded, but decent people just the same. My sister just gets teased a bit. Really the question is, will I sacrifice my identity and pretend to be someone else for my family's sake? I enjoy the pressure of the commmunity but it hurts them. I like my hair very much and got it by myself after a long time.
I live in North Yorkshire (Harrogate) - are you anywhere near here ?
No not very close, I'm from Northumberland. Luckskind, I have told them that. thanks
Wouldn't it be nice if you could tell family...friends...community, in groups large or small,
(in a very polite way) that you really like your hair the way it is,
and would be happier if everyone would respect your feelings & your
right to wear your hair your way...long.
I wonder how they would react to that??
If I were in your situation, I'd question just how 'real' your friends are on account of the fact that they would disassociate themselves with you over something as trivial as hair. Same goes for girls: why bother with someone who can't appreciate you for who you are?
For ONE -- it's no one's business how you wear your hair.
For number two -- they sound like VERY shallow people to me -- NOT friends.
Personally, I wouldn't think twice about NOT hanging out with these people. Of course, I'd probably just piss them off with my comments on what I think of THEM. No loss -- in my opinion.
John, Do not cut your hair. You grew it because you had an inner inspiration, sometimes called wanting to do it. If you are a decent person who intends well for others and attempts to bring it about, then you are a Nazarite. There are many Nazarites who are anot aware of it. Unfortunately the one we know most about was Sampson in the Hebrew Bible. He was a failed Nazarite, and since few others are named his self centered actions have caused a negative pall to fall over this word which is unfortunate. We must reclaim it. However, the message is clear. Your hair is an indication of your strength. Cut it and you will not be you.
Instead, you are 21. Plan as soon as possible to get a job which will take you away from your home town. Go away to college if you can. Ask advice and help from others about how you can do this cheap, if that is necessary. If that is impossible, get a job in some organization in which long hair does not matter, and one which can transfer you to another location.
If you are applying for a job, make sure your hair is clean and neat, preferably tied or braided, and not conspicu0ous.
Faunt your hair only among friends.
Druid
I usually don't get into religious debates but as a Jewish I protest against the negative views you express against Sampson.
I admit I didn't read the new testament and I don't know what is the Nazarite thing but I think you should keep your opinions to yourself at least out of respect to the Jewish people which for them Sampson was an important and positive person.
Adi.
The book of Judges is in the old testament.
Out of curiosity, if you haven't read it, how can you expect your point to be taken seriously?
Believe me,I've read The Book Of Judges numerous times in Hebrew(I'm an Israeli) but I don't remember any referations to the concept of Nazarite as he mentioned it and the book sure doesn't make Sampson look negative.
What I meant is that I didn't read the new testament.
Adi.
Fair comment - but the new testamant is irrelevant here.
As for Druid's comments, well, he is entitled to make them. You might not like them, I personally don't agree with his iterpretation, but if we stop people expressing their opinions, we lurch towards censorship.
Remember Voltaire: "I disapprove of what you say, but I defend to the death your right to say it."
Adi--
Since your are an Israeli, I find it amazing that you do not know about the ancient tradition of the Nazarites, which does not have anything to do with the so called New Testament, but is entirely a Jewish Movement, of which Samuel was perhaps the first mentioned in the Hebrew Scripture. It is not the same as coming from the town of Nazareth.
If you read the book of Judges clearly, in Hebrew, you will discover that Sampson did not obey his Nazarite vows. Perhaps you might ask your rabbi about the Hebrew word Nazar.
It is very dangerous to find anti-semitism and anti-jewish sentiment where it is not -- that is called paranoia.
James
My dear Adi--
Print all this out and ask your Rabbi. You might be enlightened.
DRUID
Where the hell do you live???
Move.
If YOU are not sure about whether you want LONG hair or not...
then you will probably end up following the advice of your family and friends and..
who knows, maybe you WILL be happier.
But if you are a TRUE Longhair and you go ahead and cut it...
you will probably end up feeling extremely miserable. Think about it.
NO ONE should have to suffer for nothing. Suffering only makes sense if
you TRULY feel you ARE a longhair...otherwise...
THE PRICE TO PAY IS JUST TOO DAMNED HIGH...and ...
Good Luck on your decision...
We are all experiencing the same problems, dont cut. Be strong mentally.
How exactly do you wear your hair? Sometimes how you wear it affects the most. Some people might look good wearing it lose and still look very masculine and cool. Others might look feminine (no offense). Also depends on your hair type and length. Maybe you might want to cut it a bit shorter, but still have long hair, also good to change once and a while. However, your friends sound like complete m*****f*****s and I would have probably busted their jaw with their stupid comments. Those are very sorry a$$ excuse for friends. Why the hell they give a damn what you look like? Are they gay and you must look pretty to them or something? About the girl comments, well like i said, a bit of change is good, but keep it long.
Hope I'm not too late, but for the love of all that is good and holy, DO NOT CUT YOUR HAIR! If you are happy with it and it makes you feel good, everyone else can go fly a kite. Do not sacrifice your happiness for those shallow-minded people. Sorry about your sister, but kids are cruel and they'll eventually stop making fun of her. And as for not getting attention from girls, don't worry. As you can see on this board, there are women out there (especially me) who adore men with long hair. Patience, grasshopper.
~Jenn