About 10 years of experimenting wildly with products and colors and mad growing out periods after madder haircuts here's some research notes.
Tested and approved shampoos and conditioners (for current shoulder length very thick curly hair):
cheap: Garnier Fructis: both shampoo and conditioner are great. Very detangling. Unobtrusive smell. Not too heavy. Hair feels soft even while wet.
midpriced: Les Karités: Shea butter based, extremely moisturizing, anyone with really frizzy hair should try this. available in beauty stores mostly. forms great curls while air-drying without special styling.
cost arm 7 leg: Terax. the porsche of conditioners.
Color: I think it is possible to color your hair regularly and still keep it healthy enough for it to grow long and good looking. Being careful is the key, as well as foregoing most other processing including blowdrying, and conditioning religiously. My hair is regularly colored and looks totally healthy.
wash frequency: matters less than conditioning frequency (almost every day).
I used this stuff at a *special lady friend's* place, and I agree. Not too girly-smelling, hair felt nice all day.
Thanks for the tips!