new thread
I have been interested in the posts by guys who are or have already lost most of their hair, but continue to keep what is left, long.
I grew my hair long in college, and kept it that way until my late 20s. By 22 my hair started to thin a bit, and by 24, my shower drain was clogging a couple of times a week.
At that time I started to notice my hairline was receding, and I was getting a thin spot on my crown. I freaked. My friends all said "CUT IT", and I did.
I cut off my 24" ponytail, and then over a period of 3 years got shorter and shorter until finally I shaved it bald.
It took a while to get used to, but I kinda liked having my head shaved smooth, for one thing, you don't age...
A couple of months ago, I met a guy, who is growing his hair, and we started dating. When he saw my old pictures he went crazy, said that I MUST grow my hair back.
So after 8 years of shaving my head on a daily basis, I stopped. Well, what I found is that I have anice, thick dark fringe, and only some fuzz on top. My boyfriend is pushing me to grow it out and get a toupe for the top.
To be honest, I am not really wanting to wear a rug, but here comes my question.
Why is it that it is only OK to have long hair ONLY if you have a certain hair density? There seem to be a number of guys on this board who are in various stages of balding, and still keep their hair.
Shouldn't you be able to enjoy the hair that you DO have, and not worry about what you have lost?
There are a number of guys where I work that have long hair, and about half are in some stage of MPB.
I have even seen a guy at the supermarket whose thick hair is to his waist, and yet the top is as slick bald as mine was.
Part of me feels stupid for cutting off my hair. I loved it... it looked and felt great. Now I am not sure what to do. Shave it or grow it? And if I grow it... do I get a toupee or not???
What do you all think?
Sam
If you have the courage to do it...grow your hair.
If you desire hair on top, think of getting something that is connected
to your scalp ( a weave?)
OR, just accept yourself AS you ARE and enjoy the hair you DO have!
By the time you hit the awkward stage, you should know if longer hair is for you...
Be happy with yourself...go for it...
and...Good Luck!
I understand your reluctance about wearing a rug. Anything that isn't natural or requires replacement wouldn't appeal to me.
Technology has come a long way to make hair transplants much better than they used to be. Have you considered this option? I've been to some seminars to the procedure and if it's done right, only experts can tell. The huge plus is that it is YOUR hair that will grow and will never fall out again.
The only rule is..
... that there are no rules.
The conventional wisdom is for men who have lost some or all of their hair on top to shave their heads to disguise the fact that they are going bald.
If you are the sort of person who can put two fingers up to convention, then the only question is...
What do you and/or your partner want?
I'd certainly go for growing long the hair that you have - you won't have to worry about your bangs getting in your eyes - and as for the rug or hair replacement, I'd do some research and see if either is right for you.
All I can say is that although I have been bald on top for 15 years (I'm now 48), nobody has criticised the fact that I have had the rest of my hair long for the last 12 years, with only one trim in June 1994 (in the hope of getting it to grow faster: it didn't).
As mentioned in a post below, you may not find that your hair will grow as long or as fast as it did when you were younger.
Hope this helps.
I have a full head of hair.
For whatever it's worth, I agree with the people who say you should have the maximum freedom to enjoy the hair you have. My opinion is that pattern bald guys who have the remaining hair long, generally look more attractive than the ubiquitous buzzed or shaved style. Sometimes they're embarrassed they haven't cut their hair, and I'm always thinking, "Why? It looks great!".
Rob
Don't compare yourself with younger thick haired folks, their thinning days will be upon them soon (snicker, snicker......)
The trend right now is for older men to let their hair grow and it has become acceptable in most parts of the country and in a majority of occupations........we are seeing beautiful gray, pepper and white tails from thick side and back growth, while the top is thin. There is a gentleman on this board who has shared photos with and without a hairpiece; both look good......hats are wonderful.
My hair is thin on the top and with a "standard" haircut I am considered "bald", however my shoulder length hair with a Western Aussie style hat, makes me look a lot younger than my 57 years......
Most importantly, I like it.
Bald men in many Oriental cultures have been wearing long hair, tails and braids for centuries.
And of course, check out your favorite Klingon.......bald, cranial ridges and beautiful long hair !! Worf has a tail most of us would kill for !! HA!
On this board the only answer you will get is grow it, and my advice is no different! I don't think toupees look realistic (or good). OTOH, there are a lot of good looking hats in the stores!
Usually, male pattern baldness is apparent by age 30, and I'm in my 40s, so I'm fairly safe from it. I do, however have quite a few grey hairs. My wife wants me to dye my hair, but I have resisted so far. My point, I guess, is I can relate to pressure from a partner.
I am a little concerned that if I dye my hair, which is 21 inches in length, that I will be forever stuck with dyeing it due to the roots growing out. As it represents probably 42 months growth by the usual rule of thumb, it would take forever to let the dye grow out, so I never could!
Sam,
It is one thing if you have asked your boyfriend for his opinion to help you decide but quite another if it is his determination that you should wear a toupee and grow long. You say you don't want to wear a toupee, that answers that issue, don't.
As for growing your hair again it seems you are undecided. Maybe let it grow for a while and see how you feel then. Either you will be a few months closer to the long hair you want for yourself or can take it away again if you are leaning toward a shaved head.
As for this pressuring boyfriend, perhaps the experience of another person would help him understand the situation better. This appeared in Carolyn Hax's online column (linked below) Friday the 3rd.
"Indianapolis: To the man who desires experimentation -- Carolyn's right -- presentation is everything. I am up for experimentation but a recent BF informed me repeatedly (and I am using informed correctly here) that I really needed to grow my hair out longer and dress up as a French maid for his enjoyment. He is now an ex-BF -- I told him perhaps he'd be better suited dating a maid from France with long hair."
"Carolyn Hax: Surprised he never made the connection. Thanks."
If your guy really likes you, he likes the look you choose to wear, not his vision of what you should be. "Must" over a hair issue is not a word used by someone that truly cares about you, your desires, and needs.
I wish you well Sam,
Elizabeth
Thanks for all the responses. I am not sure what I will do, but I appreciate the support.
Sam